ELEVEN
Autumn
I was going on a date.
An actual, real-life date.
With Eli Mallick.
I felt like I was fifteen again, sneaking off on my first boy-girl date, butterflies in my belly all day in anticipation.
I totally drifted off a few times while a couple was explaining their sex swing needs to me since I didn't have the one they wanted in stock.
But how was I expected to focus on work when I could still feel his hands on me, his finger in me, his lips on my neck, his cock in me giving me sweet and gentle and loving?
Ugh.
Even the memory was getting me going again.
It was going to be a long, long day.
I had just gotten rid of the sex swing couple, promising to have a different model in within a week for them to see in person, intent on sitting behind the desk and getting some ordering done, when the door chimed again.
I closed my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I turned.
Oh, thank God.
Not another adventurous couple with a thousand questions.
A group of girlfriends.
I would take a group of girlfriends over just about any other customer. It was always more laid-back, casual, even funny.
"Oh!" I said as they shuffled in, looking around, one clearly more uncomfortable than the others, a pretty blonde with green eyes that I had never seen before. But her other blonde friend? Oh, yeah, I'd seen her several times. "Fee!" I said, giving her a warm smile.
Fee was always fun when she came in, whether she was alone or with friends. She actually told me she adopted my big bowl of condoms on the counter idea and used it in the bathrooms at her work.
Her work?
Yeah, that badass chick with the best fashion sense I had ever seen owned a phone sex business.
So, of course, I thought she was awesome.
All heads turned to me in unison.
And something about the look in their eyes had me stiffening, looking between them - each just as pretty as the previous one - wondering what the heck was going on.
"I can't believe it's you," Fee said oddly, making my brows draw low.
"What? I'm always here," I said, shaking my head.
Why the hell was she looking at me so intensely? Like she had never seen me before.
"Hi," the other blonde said, giving me a sweet smile. "I'm Dusty," she supplied. "And this is Lea," she said, waving at a tall, leggy, dark-haired woman with an impossibly gorgeous face. "And that is Scotti," she added, waving at the other dark-haired woman who had incredible bone-structure and a confident air about her. "And you already know Fee."
"Hey ladies," I said, hearing the way my own voice was wavering at the oddness of this interaction that shouldn't have felt odd at all. "Are you looking for anything in partic--"
"All this time," Fee went on, brows knitted, eyes confused.
"Fee, are you feeling alright?" I asked, starting to actually get concerned.
She shook her head at that, trying to get rid of some niggling thought. "You don't know my full name, do you?"
"Ah, no," I realized, even though I had seen her on more than a few occasions.
"Fiona Mallick."
My heart froze in my chest.
Recognition hit with all the subtlety of an atomic bomb.
Oh, God.
Wow.
Fiona Mallick.
She was, in some way, related to Eli.
And since I only ever knew him to talk about brothers, and had just confirmed that all his brothers were taken (because Peyton was serious about the scary clown mask), then Fee must have been with one of his brothers.
"Sorry to burst in here like this," Dusty said into the silence that followed Fee's admission.
"Ah, no. It's, ah, okay."
"I bet you're wondering how we knew about you," Lea said, giving me a small smile.
"Sort of."
"The day Eli got released, everyone was out on the town looking for him, wanting to see that he was okay. Shane was on his way home to me and the kids when he stopped at a sign, and something in his peripheral caught his eye."
Oh, God.
I had a feeling I knew what caught his eye.
His brother practically fucking me against a building.
Jesus.
This was more than a little embarrassing, and totally not how I would have liked to meet his family.
"Coop," she clarified, but the way her eyes were dancing gave me the impression that she knew what I was thinking.
"We've been looking for him for six years," Scotti added. "Shelters and the vets. Nothing. Not a word." She paused there, shrugging. "Because you had him."
"But we can't figure out why you had him," Lea added.
The silence after demanded a response, even though they hadn't asked a direct question.
"The day Eli was arrested, I was outside the coffeeshop. He had been trying to make Coop sit for a treat when the cops showed up. They took him away. And Coop started freaking out. I, well, I figured he was too ugly to end up in the pound. So I took him home with me."
"You've had him this whole time?" Scotti clarified.
"Yeah. Me and my sister work opposite shifts a lot of the time, so he always has someone around."
"So he's with her now," Lea concluded.
"No, ah, he's with..." Shit. I didn't want to give anything about Eli away when he was so determined to cut off ties with his family. I already felt like I had said too much.
"He's with Eli," Lea finished for me. "Shane saw Coop that night, but he also saw you and Eli. As in, together."
Ugh.
There was literally no way out of this situation.
And I had no clue how Eli would have wanted me to maneuver it.
"We're not here to make you uncomfortable," Dusty said, holding up her hands, looking apologetic. "You just have to understand that we need to know that he's okay. Everyone has been sick for years."
I imagined that was true.
And my heart truly did go out to them.
But my loyalty needed to be with Eli.
"Look," Fee said, voice more serious than I had ever heard it before. When I did look, her eyes were full of feeling. "Hunt came home yesterday to tell me he had seen Eli. He had confronted him. You know what Eli told him to tell my girls?"
"No." But I knew it wasn't good.
"That he was dead," she said, swallowing hard. "He said it was true enough."
That hurt.
It felt like a knife in the gut.
Because I knew he did feel that way.
"Autumn," she said, voice even more grave. And when I looked up, her lip was trembling. "I've seen my husband tear up exactly three times in our entire time together. The first time we found out we were having a baby, the day he realized Eli was going away, and last night when he told me his brother said he was as good as dead. Now, I know you don't know these Mallick men, but they are not the kind of men who cry. Not even one glistening tear. So seeing my man like that, yeah, it was the push I needed to way overstep my bounds and come in here to talk to you."
Even as she finished speaking she had to reach up and swipe a tear away, shaking her head, and blinking hard, trying to get it together.
I would have to be made of stone not to have my heart go out to her right then. My heart ached in my chest for the pain they must have been feeling, the loss their family must have endured. It wasn't just Eli who had done time; they had done time in their own way as well.
"Eli had a rough afternoon yesterday too," I admitted, the act of sitting down all day reminding me with a small sting.
"See!" Scotti said, shoving her hip into Fee's. "I told you it was an act."
"I don't think it's an act," I corrected before I thought better of it. But then all their eyes were on me and pleading for more. "Eli is terrified that any links to his old life will make him rage-out again. He doesn't want that. So he tries to disconnect. Key word there being try. It's not an act. He's not pretending. He is putting every ounce of energy he has to attempt to kill the man you all once knew."
"Poor Eli," Dusty said in a sad whisper, looking down at her feet. Likely, just as Fee was, struggling to keep composure.
"The part that pisses me off about this," Lea exploded suddenly, like she wasn't able to hold it in anymore, "is that he did nothing wrong! He defended a woman getting her ass handed to her. I know what it is like to have a man bully you. I know that helplessness. I know she saw him as a fucking hero when he stepped in where no one else in her life ever had. He should never have gone away for this."
That was sadly true.
"And then he wouldn't have been sitting in a cell feeling like a shitty person, feeling like he couldn't lean on us, couldn't even speak to us anymore, that he had to be someone else. Who he was before was, ugh," Lea trailed off, turning suddenly, and taking a few steps away. Her hands rose though, pressing into her eyes.
Even just seeing these women struggling for composure was starting to make me lose mine. The sting started at the backs of my eyes, and I had to slow-blink and take deep breaths to keep from crying myself.
I didn't come from a family that loved so deeply. I mean, Peyton and I did as we grew up and grew close, but the rest of our family was just as happy without us.
What an amazing thing it must have been to be loved that deeply by so many different people.
How badly must he have seen himself to push that away?
Poor Eli. Dusty was right about that.
"Look, I get your loyalty is torn here," Scotti said, the only one who was still holding it together. "We're not asking you for his address or contact information. That's not fair," she said, giving Lea a hard look, like maybe Lea had been down with trying to force information out of me.
"Why are you here then?"
"Is he okay?" Dusty asked before anyone else could speak up.
There was no way to answer that without giving them at least a little bit of the truth. "He's... okay. He's adjusting still. It's only been a couple of days."
I could practically feel them say It's been six years.
"We're actually here with a request," Fee said, taking a deep breath before she launched into it. "Helen, Eli's mom, has had a really, really hard time every holiday. It seems to get worse as each year goes by."
I knew where this was going.
Because Thanksgiving was coming up.
"Fee, I..."
"You would be giving a mother her son back," she cut me off, eyes going glassy again. "I'm not sure if I can express just how huge that is. What it would mean to her."
"Fee, we just barely started..."
"But you're all we have," she rushed to stop me. "Even if you're new, you're the only link we have to him. We are begging you, Autumn - and I am not the kind of woman to beg - please, see if you can convince him to come."
God, was there any way to say no? I mean, I wouldn't push Eli; that wasn't my place. I could, however, drop hints, make suggestions, reassure him that he didn't need to kill his old self and start anew. Hell, this morning alone, I had seen sides of Eli that I didn't know existed before. Maybe, the longer he was out, the more he could shake the persona he had needed to wield in prison.
Two weeks wasn't long, though.
He had spent six years creating this mindset.
I didn't have a huge ton of hope that I could undo all that work.
"I can't make any promises..."
"We would never ask for them," Dusty assured me.
"And we aren't telling Helen or Charlie or even our men," Fee told me. "This is just between us girls. So if he doesn't show, the only one who will even know to be disappointed is us. And, please, feel free to come too! Bring your sister. We don't care. We will squeeze closer at the table. Oh and Coop. You know, whatever it might take. Trust me, if you can get him there, Helen will be kissing your feet."
Nothing like a little pressure.
The happiness of an entire damn family on your shoulders.
And here I had been excited all day over something as simple as a date with the man I had been sleeping with.
What a strange turn of events in the course of one day.
"If, and this is a huge if," I said, making sure they knew I didn't have a lot of faith in myself with this task, "I can make it happen, I need a time."
"Dinner is at four, but everyone starts filing in around noon. But I mean, whenever you can get him there," Scotti said.
"I'll try," I said, shrugging, hearing defeat in my voice.
"I know this is putting you in a bad position," Dusty said, voice soft. "We don't want to mess up your new relationship with Eli. I think having you - even if he doesn't have us or want us - is a good thing. If he lost you on top of all of us, I worry about what would go on in his mind."
"I would worry about that too," I agreed.
"So, what we're saying is," Lea cut in, "push, but don't push him away. Because at least we know he has some roots if he has you, someone to talk to, someone to give a shit about him. That's important. He needs some soft after so many years of hard."
"He really does."
"We hope we see you on Thanksgiving," Dusty said, moving back a step, obviously trying to guide the other women to leave. "But we will understand if you can't move mountains."
"Thank you, Autumn," Fee said, giving me a serious nod. Then, shaking off her heaviness, the normal Fee I was used to came shining through. "The Wand is fucking amazing, by the way," she said as she backed toward the door.
"That's why it is a bestseller," I agreed as they opened the door, and stepped outside.
With that, they were gone, and I was alone with my thoughts.
They swirled so fast that I had to sit down, cradling my head in my hands, trying to make sense of it all.
On one hand, yes. I so wanted to be the savior to their little family. I wanted to give Eli back to them. And I wanted to give them back to Eli. They needed one another. He might not have been able to acknowledge it himself, but it was eating him alive to stay away, especially since they were in the same town.
His interaction with Hunt, and the aftermath, showed me just how much it was hurting him. He needed to reconnect.
That being said, I didn't wear the white hat. I was nobody's hero.
And I was holding a whole family's disappointment on my shoulders if I didn't pull through.
On the other hand, I didn't want to rock the boat. Things were going in a somewhat unexpected direction with Eli. I wanted it to keep doing that. I wanted him to keep opening up to me, showing his sweeter, softer side. I wanted him to trust me.
How could I expect him to trust me when I was going behind his back?
On a groan, no less confused than I was twenty minutes before, I reached under the counter for my cell, dialing up my sister.
"This better be good. They're DP'ing her right now and it is hot as shit."
One second. That was all I needed with my sister to help lift some of the weight.
I launched into it, talking in circles, words tripping over one another to get out first.
"So don't," she said simply after listening silently for about half an hour.
"Don't what?"
"Don't go behind his back," she clarified.
"But, what..."
"Look, I know you feel bad for them. Anyone would. But your loyalty lies with Eli. And, yes, I think we all can agree he needs his family back, it is not your place to push him into that. That is his decision. And if he ever finds out you did that, you and him are over. Now, I know you're going to deny this and say I'm crazy or what the fuck ever, but I know you, Autumn. You have feelings for him."
"I barely--"
"You've been mooning over him for five years. Don't pull that 'I barely know him' shit. You know him better than that last dude I had a two-week fling with."
"Angelo No-Last-Name," I recalled. He had a last name, but he and Peyton were too busy getting it on to share that kind of information.
"Exactly. You know his last name. You know where he lives. You know he's an artist. You know what movies, books, music, and food he likes. You know he fucks you like there's no tomorrow. You know more than enough to have feelings. And, dare I say it, be already half in love with him. Don't," she said before I could even get a noise out, "even try to deny it. We both know it is true. What I am saying is, you don't fuck around and ruin that because a bunch of women showed up and went all teary-eyed on you. I know, I know, I'm a heartless monster," she went on, and I could practically hear the eye-roll she was doing. "But he matters more. His feelings need to matter more. And his choices need to be his own, not manipulated by you and some women he has made it clear he doesn't want in his life. Even if," she cut me off when I went to speak, "we both know he does want them in his life."
My sister, for all her crazy, for all her over-the-topness, for all her devotion to a more alternative lifestyle, was also one of the wisest people I knew. Sure, she sometimes went about imparting her wisdom in odd ways, at times referencing godawful, cheesy, campy horror movies with a negative Rotten Tomato rating. But she was almost always right.
"So what am I supposed to do? Show up and say, 'Hey, your sisters-in-law ambushed me and begged me to get you to come to Thanksgiving, so your mother doesn't cry for the umpteenth holiday in a row?' I mean... that is going to go over like a bomb."
"You come home a little early from work. Get your scrub and shave on. Do your hair and makeup. Slip into something sexy. Then you go to dinner with him. And then come home. Where you fuck his brains out. Then you bring it up. You gotta have this conversation when his guards are down. And the only time men let their guards down completely is when they are freshly fucked."
"You're not wrong," I agreed, though I didn't like the idea of sexual manipulation.
And, because she was who she was, she knew this. "You're not tricking him, Autumn. You're just getting him relaxed and a bit less likely to fly off the handle. Oh, but maybe stick a paddle in your bag in case he does fly off the handle. Okay, I have a girl to get back to who is getting plowed like nobody's business and completely unaware that her throat is going to get slit as soon as the guy comes in her. Bye!"
I snorted as I hung up the phone, realizing it was really the only card I had to play.
I didn't want to bring that kind of thing up at a restaurant. Especially if there was any chance that he might rage out again. I didn't want him in that awkward of a situation. I didn't want him to storm out, leaving me to have to deal with the bill, then finding my own way home from God-knew-where. And where did that leave him? Losing his mind in a rage with no outlet?
No.
That couldn't happen.
And the same logic went for before the date. He would likely storm off and go who-knew-where.
Peyton was right; the best time to tell him was when he was freshly fucked, completely naked, and unable to jump up and storm out before I could try to stop him.
So I did what she said.
I closed early.
I went home and spent well over an hour on getting myself together. I slipped into a black dress that was just shy of slutty and a pair of spiked heels. My back, and the cut of the dress, didn't allow for a bra, but I picked out a special pair of panties that was black lace over my butt cheeks, but cut off at the highest point where it met a silky bow that attached to a thick satin waistband.
They were exactly made for sexual manipulation.
So I guess I was dressing for the task.
Eli had texted me an hour before I closed up, saying he would bring Coop back to my place and we could leave from there.
So I was nervously shifting my feet when there was a knock - and a scratch - at the door.
Peyton jumped up, mermaid hair all in a loose, messy bun on her head, legs in leggings covered in blood splatter and crime scene tape and a black tank top. Effortless, quirky, and still ridiculously pretty.
Some day a man would see that about her too.
"What are your intentions with my daughter?" she asked in a dead-on imitation of our father, arm stretched out to block his entrance as Coop barreled in to take her seat on the couch, resting his head on her book.
"I plan to ravish her completely," Eli said, tone deadly serious.
"Son!" Peyton declared, throwing open the door, and her arms like she was about to embrace him. She dropped her hands at the last second, moving out of the way. "She's over there looking like sex on a stick," she informed him as she walked away. "I think the 'lick' comment doesn't need to be uttered. Get your head off my book," she told Coop as she took it from under him. "Looking all innocent when we all know you're just waiting for me to glance away so you can eat it, you butthead."
"Sweetheart," Eli said, close, too close, making me realize I had been focusing on Peyton, and hadn't seen him cross the room toward me.
He looked good, too.
The Mallick men, well, they apparently cleaned up nice.
He had on black slacks and a matte black dress shirt, no tie, nice shoes, an expensive silver watch, and a matching belt buckle.
Hot.
Was there anything hotter than a man who knew how to dress?
"Hey," I said, giving him a smile.
"You look beautiful," he told me as soon as my eyes found his, making my belly do an altogether too delicious flip-flop.
"Thank you. You--"
"Look like her ride later. We get it," Peyton said from behind her book. "You are both sexy beasts who will be doing it soon. Coop can not stand Mommy and Daddy being all gross in front of him," she informed us, making us both smile before Eli leaned in to give me a quick kiss.
"We should get going," he agreed, reaching down to take my hand, and lead me to the door.
All I could think for the drive two towns over was God I hope I don't screw this up. Please don't let me screw this up.
Eli pulled up and led me into an upscale sushi restaurant I had heard amazing things about, but couldn't quite bring myself to go to since I could get decent enough rolls closer to home for a third the price.
There was a bit of awkwardness as I tried to relax, tried to be in the moment and enjoy a date I had been so looking forward to. By the time I had a glass of wine in my hand, though, things had seemed to fall into an easy rhythm, talking about the restaurant, then others, then just life and futures and hopes and all that.
And he wasn't post-prison-Eli. He was just Eli - sweet, open, joking, easy with a smile, interesting.
The guards, for those two hours, were completely gone.
And as we got in his car and drove back to my place, there was no way to stop the swirling discomfort in my stomach, the way my body was tense.
"Autumn," Eli said as we stopped outside my door so I could fish out my key, his hand at my lower back. When I looked up, his brows were drawn together. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing, I just can't find... there they are," I said, ducking my head so he couldn't see my face. I wasn't a good liar and I knew it.
"Sweetheart," he tried again just as I got the door unlocked, and pushed inside.
Peyton, having anticipated us coming home, had taken off to bed with Coop, leaving the apartment quiet except the hum of her music on.
"Autumn," he tried again, voice a little more firm thanks to my attempts to ignore him.
And, well, I couldn't keep doing that.
So, it was time for the relaxing part of the evening.
"I have something I want to show you," I told him as he closed and locked the door.
"Oh yeah?" he asked, watching me like puzzle pieces that were the last two in a giant piece, but somehow still didn't fit together.
"Mhmm," I murmured, not having to fake the heaviness in my eyelids because, well, the idea of having his hands on me was already making my panties stick to me in desire.
I reached for the side zipper, pulling it all the way down before standing straight again, then letting the material drop.
There was a quiet slam as Eli leaned back on the closed door with a groan.
My smile went wicked as he raked his eyes over me.
Once his eyes were on my face again, I turned slowly, looking over my shoulder, wanting to gauge his reaction to the panties.
"Trying to fucking kill me over here, woman," he said, shaking his head.
He pushed off the door, moving toward me, and sliding his hands up my belly to cup my breasts, pressing his hard cock into my ass.
"That was the plan," I agreed, grinding my ass against him, wondering how long it would be before he claimed that as well.
"Bedroom," he growled.
With a smile - and a shiver of anticipation - I reached for his hand, and pulled him with me to the hall, opening my bedroom door, and flicking on the light.
I still hadn't finished renovating it. But I did have the gray wood floors laid to match the dove gray walls. The bed was my old white metal bar Victorian-looking one that I wanted to replace with a charcoal gray tufted one I had sitting on an idea board for the better part of three months. Soon. I was close to getting it. The bedspread was a simple, clean white one that cost a small fortune and was a pain in the ass to keep clean, but was a favorite of mine.
Eli looked around for a second, but moved toward the side of the bed, kicking out of his shoes, then sitting off the side of it. "Come here," he demanded, holding an arm out.
And when you were naked, wet, and ready, and a hot man 'come hither'd' you, you hithered, damnit.
But if he had plans to torture me, he was mistaken. As soon as I got between his spread legs, I lowered myself down onto my knees, looking up at him with my heavy eyes as I reached to free the buttons of his shirt.
"Autumn," he said quietly as my hands slid down his stomach to snag his belt, then undo his button and zip.
Whatever he was about to say, however, disappeared as I reached in, grabbed his cock, freed it, then sucked it deep before he could even draw a breath.
He only let me work him for a couple short minutes before his hand was in the hair at the base of my neck, twisting, and yanking upward until his cock left my mouth with a soft pop.
"On the bed," he demanded, showing a bit of bossy-Eli, minus the anger, and that was just as thrilling as the angry one who plugged, flogged, and fucked me while bound. I wanted to know what this version of Eli had planned for me. I stretched out across the bed, thighs pressed together to try to calm the chaos as he moved to stand, shedding his shirt, then his pants.
There he was, naked, fucking glorious, with his hard cock straining, promising an end to the torment.
Just not quite yet.
He watched me as he stroked himself twice, then turned his attention to my nightstand where he pulled open the deep lower drawer where he - rightly - assumed I kept the toys.
I didn't really even know what was in there anymore, having really just used a trusty vibrator to get the job done for a long while.
The low, appreciative chuckle let me know that there was definitely more than that to play with in there.
"Perfect, he said, producing a pair of cuffs that made me suddenly really glad I hadn't replaced my headboard just yet. He waved at me, and I scooted up toward the top of the bed, raising my hands over my head, giving him a wicked smirk as he moved to straddle my waist, sliding the chain between two rails, then clamping the cold metal on each of my wrists.
He lowered down, running his tongue down my neck, my chest, circling my nipples.
But before he could go where I needed contact the most, he was off the bed and in my nightstand again, coming back with something with straps that took me a long second to recognize. A butterfly vibe. You strapped it across your thighs so you could be handless. It vibrated against your clit. And the one I brought home? Yeah, it had a small finger-type extension that slipped inside you and vibrated against your G-spot as well.
I had brought it home to test it.
Then had completely forgotten about it.
He dropped it next to my body as he moved to kneel by my legs. "Legs up," he demanded.
I pressed them together and put them straight up. He grabbed my calves and shoved them inward, pressing them into my chest as his hand moved down, rubbing my clit quickly side-to-side through my panties before his hand moved up, snagging the lacy material that was half-covering my ass, and dragging it down just slightly. His finger moved in, thrusting unexpectedly inside my pussy, making my body jump, and a moan escape me.
But before I could even get used to the sensation, his finger was gone, moving back, pressing against, then penetrating my ass.
And I knew exactly what he had planned for me, exactly what I had been wondering about just moments before.
When I rocked my hips against him, he withdrew his finger. He pulled my panties off, then reached for the butterfly, clasping it to my thighs, then pressing the little piece inside my pussy before turning it on.
His eyes closed when I let out a whimper.
"Eli, wait..." I moaned when he moved off the bed.
He didn't respond, just went into the top drawer of the nightstand, coming back with a condom and a small bottle of lube.
But he didn't use either, just watched me writhe as the vibrations pushed me upward and fast.
"You gonna tell me what you were all tense about earlier?" he asked, making my eyes go huge.
I wasn't the only one not above using sexual manipulation.
"Eli..."
"You don't get to come until you tell me," he informed me. Then, as if to prove his point, pressed between my thighs, flicking the butterfly off, making me squirm and yank against my cuffs.
"Eli, please," I whimpered, rocking my hips shamelessly, helplessly.
He watched me, eyes molten, smile evil, as he reached for the condom, slipped it on, then grabbed the lube as he pressed my knees in toward my chest again.
The cold shock made my body jolt as it slid down my pussy, my ass, dripping off of me as he kept pouring. His hand moved to work the silky liquid around my ass, thrusting a finger inside again to work me. My back arched on a moan before I lost the finger again.
But then he shifted forward and the thick head of his cock pressed against my ass instead, pushing hard, but not quite penetrating for a long minute as he watched my face for a reaction.
"Eli..." Whatever I had been about to say trailed off on a choked moan as his cock slid forward, slowly, but demanding, claiming me in one solid thrust, burying to the hilt, making me press my thighs together hard.
"Talk," he demanded, stilling inside me.
"I can't. I need you to, yes," I whimpered when he withdrew, then slammed forward again. One of his hands pressed down hard into my lower stomach, making me feel his cock scrape hard against the lower side of my pelvic wall - a sensation that almost made me come right then and there. But he seemed to sense it, pulling almost completely out of me for a long second, long enough to drag me back from the brink again.
Once he was sure it was safe, he reached between my thighs and flicked on the vibrator again, making a shudder wrack my body.
"Tell me," he demanded, voice rough, like he was losing his patience.
My hips rocked, my breathing a frantic hitching noise. "I can't think. I can't. Please, Eli. Please fuck me," I begged.
That seemed to take with it the last bit of control he was holding onto.
His hand pressed into my belly again as he started fucking my ass - hard, rough, fast. It shouldn't have been as hot as it was, but I couldn't even seem to remember to breathe as my clit, G-spot, and ass were worked all at once, driving me up, then over, then crashing down into a screaming, neighborhood-waking orgasm.
"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod," I was still crying as be buried deep, coming so hard that he half-collapsed forward, balancing his weight on a hand pressed beside my chest.
It was a long moment before he pulled out of me, reaching down to turn off the butterfly, ripping at the velcro, and tossing the whole thing to the floor.
He reached for his pants, mostly dragging them on, then walking to the door, leaving me bound as he went down the hall to the bathroom.
It was pointless to struggle, though everything within me wanted to get free, felt way too vulnerable still bound when I knew he was going to come back and demand answers.
"Please let me go," I begged as soon as he stepped inside. There was genuine desperation in my voice that made his head snap up and his brows furrow.
"Okay. One second," he said, going to the nightstand for the key. He kneeled on the bed, reaching for the cuffs, and freeing each of my hands. The metal clattered down on the floor behind my bed, forgotten, as Eli sat down and reached to touch the side of my face. "You okay?" he asked, concern dripping from his tongue. "Too much?"
And because I felt the need to, I turned, and curled into his chest, taking a few deep breaths.
"Autumn," he demanded again. "You okay?"
I managed a nod before I took another deep breath and could finally find my voice again. "That was intense," I told him, and felt his arms slide around me, holding onto me tight.
"Yeah, it was," he agreed quietly, ducking his chin so he could kiss the top of my head.
There were no further questions.
He stroked my hair, my back, seeming to brush away the stress that had been eating at me all day.
It wasn't until I was fully relaxed that I took a deep breath, pulled against his hold, and moved to sit on my knees next to him.
Even though he was as sated as I was, his eyes went a little hungry as he looked me over. "I need to talk to you about something."
"I thought so," he agreed, hand going to my knee and giving it a squeeze. "Talk to me," he encouraged, tone calm, body calm, everything calm.
I hated to ruin that.
But we had to have this conversation.
"When I was at work earlier, a group of women came in--"
"Oh, is this gonna get kinky?" he asked, eyes dancing.
I smiled slightly, but even I knew it didn't meet my eyes.
"It was all your brothers' wives."
There.
It was out.
I took a deep breath, watching as the words landed, as they moved through him. He didn't move from his relaxed position, but his entire body stiffened. "What?"
"I didn't think anything of it at first. I've seen Fee a lot of times. I had no idea she was related to you. I've never asked for her last name. She was just a customer to me, y'know?"
"What'd she say?" he asked, jaw tight, making the words come out with more of a bite than I think he intended.
"Apparently, the night you brought me coffee? When we were, ah, walking Coop... one of your brothers was driving past..."
"Which one?"
Crap. The details were getting blurry. There were so many of them. "Um, Lea's husband?"
"Shane," he supplied.
"Yeah. Well, he saw us, and I guess told everyone. And then the girls decided to come see me."
"I'm sorry they are putting you in the middle of this," he surprised me by saying, giving my knee a little squeeze.
I ducked my head, looking for the determination I needed to go through with it to the end.
"They were, ah, upset, Eli," I said, raising my gaze. "All of them."
"I know they're mad that--"
"No, they were crying," I cut him off. "Fee said she decided to put me in the middle because when Hunt came home yesterday, he was upset. And she had only ever seen him choked up twice before. She wanted to see if there was any way that..." I trailed off, suddenly a little queasy at having to go on.
His guards were back.
His eyes were blank.
"Any way that what?"
I swallowed hard. "That I could convince you to come to Thanksgiving. They said," I powered through when he went to open his mouth, "that your mother has been getting worse every holiday that passes, and they thought that this would, you know, make it all better."
Pulling the Mom-card was cruel, I knew.
But they were the facts.
And maybe he had been trying to hide from them, trying to convince himself that they were better without him, but he could only live so long with the wool over his eyes.
If I had to be the one to pull it off, and deal with the consequences of that, at least he wouldn't be blind anymore. Like that or not.
"They need to move o--"
"But they're not," I cut him off. "They're not," I repeated, voice softer. "They're not. And they're hurting. And they will never accept this, Eli. They love you. Of course they want you around."
"You don't..."
"I know," I agreed, nodding. "I know I don't understand fully. I get that. And I know that I'm just some chick that..."
"Don't," he cut me off, voice slicing through the air. "Don't finish that sentence."
My head ducked, not sure how to take that. "I told them I would mention it," I said, head lifting. "I told them I couldn't make any promises, but I said I would bring it up."
"This was why you were so tense," he concluded, watching me with a look I couldn't quite interpret.
"I didn't want to ruin dinner," I admitted.
"You thought I would get pissed," he concluded, taking his hand off my knee to rake it down the scruff on his face.
"I was really looking forward to dinner," I admitted, shrugging my shoulders, shaking my head at myself. It was silly, but true.
"We'll have to try this again on a day my sisters-in-law don't ambush you."
My head lifted, surprised, sure he was going to be resentful.
"I won't say it won't happen again. This being a thing," he said, waving a hand between us, "and them knowing that means they can use you. And I'm sorry about that. But I don't want that to fuck this up either."
This being a thing.
I wasn't sure what 'a thing' meant in his mind, but in mine, it meant something more than sex. Right? That seemed like a logical conclusion.
Or maybe that was just my heart speaking.
Peyton was right.
I wasn't just infatuated with him, with the amazing sex.
I was taking the few first tentative steps into love.
That was why I was so worked up all day, why there felt like there was something lodged in my throat when I tried to eat a very nice dinner.
I was falling for him, plain and simple.
And while it was, technically new, we had been corresponding for five years. I felt I knew him as well as I did most of my friends. It wasn't as new as it seemed. Just the physical aspect was new. The mental and emotional part had been going on for a good, long time. I suspected, for the both of us.
"I don't want anything to fuck this up either," I agreed, from, well, the bottom of my heart, damnit.
"So we aren't letting shit like this get between us."
It wasn't exactly a question, but I answered anyway. "Nope," I agreed.
"We're gonna let it drop for now, yeah?" he asked, tapping his chest again.
And, well, I pretty much flew at him.
"Yeah," I agreed.
Then we dropped it.