I bury my nose in the blanket I’ve wrapped around my shoulders, where Aaron’s scent lingers. My head hurts from dealing with Aaron’s shock reaction to our night and my stomach from eating too much Häagen-Dazs to fill the hole with something other than embarrassment. I push the cardboard container and spoon across the desk.

The evening guild chat fills with discussion of the Con and cosplay, and about the party. Nobody mentions Aaron and me; hopefully nobody noticed apart from Erin.

Everybody’s concentration levels suck tonight. We died repeatedly before we moved far into the dungeon—everybody dead before we even touched the first boss.

“I don’t know why we bothered tonight,” I say over voice chat. “We’re shattered after this weekend.”

“Plus we’re missing a member,” replies Lorlien. Not part of the Perth crew but central to the raid team, our Singaporean member’s focus is only matched by Aaron’s. He and Lorlien often become involved in heated arguments around strategies, but Aaron normally wins.

Silence.

I huff. “Just say the words. Let’s get everything out in the open now, then you can forget about Sin and Thor’s scandalous behaviour.”

“The what?” asks Tyler. “Evie...”

Shit. “Oh. Nothing. Doesn’t matter.”

“Uh huh. I knew you two would get up to no good,” he says.

“Who would? What are you talking about?” asks Lorlien.

“Thor and Sin spent some alone time together,” replies Tyler.

“What the hell?” asks Cole “That’s crazy. You two bitch at each other all the time. Erin never said anything.”

Thank you, Erin, looks like my big mouth is responsible.

“What do you mean? I don’t understand,” asks Lorlien.

“Sin and Thor. Alone time,” Tyler repeats.

“Fuck,” he replies. “Thor’s not going to leave the guild, is he?’

“Why would he leave?” I ask.

“Seen it happen. Never works out,” Lorlien replies.

I balk. “Seriously? Couples play together all the time.”

“You’re a couple?” asks Tyler in disbelief.

“No! I mean couples can have differences and it doesn’t affect the guild.”

“You two always had differences,” says Lorlien.

“Well, no change then,” I snap back.

“So where is he tonight?” he asks.

“Travelling. Aaron— Thor—said he’ll be back online tomorrow.” I pause. “So now you know, we can drop the conversation and resume normality. What happened is none of your business. Thanks.”

Everything quiets and I tense, ready to field any more judgement or comments.

“I think we need five minutes before we move on,” says Cole. “Or has everybody had enough death and destruction for tonight?”

“I’m tired,” I say and don’t miss somebody’s chuckle. “Oh, grow up!” I snap.

“Let’s call it a night,” says Tyler.

The group gradually disbands, characters disappearing from the dungeon as they return to the main town or other quest areas. Picking my phone up, I check the screen, but no message from Aaron. We exchanged numbers and he told me he’d be in touch. Too soon, Evie.

I stand in the middle of the grey-walled castle, staring at the dead spiders around me as the echoing screams from inside the game replace the guys’ voices in my earphones.

A grey rat looks up at Sinestre, harmless, unable to attack her. She blasts it to oblivion with one shot of lightning from her figures.

* * *

I shouldn’t have slept off my heavy night this afternoon, because I’m staring at my phone at 2am, playing over everything in my head. I texted him earlier asking if he had a good flight and immediately regretted sending the message.

Especially as he hasn’t responded. Not even a brief ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘thanks’, or ‘who are you?’

Did I expect Aaron to message? Should I message him again?

No, he was perfectly clear with me this morning; the ‘I’ll call you’ as insincere as the cliché.

I huff and place the phone on the nightstand. One day, I will arrive at work after a full night’s sleep.

That day will not be tomorrow.

Like clockwork, I crawl out of bed and log on to the game. The moment the loading screen clears and my character appears on screen, words appear on my screen in guild chat.

Thorsday: Hey, Sin. Another late one?

Sinestre: As always. Surprised to see you.

Thorsday: What can I say, daily quests needed completing.

I wait for more, but nothing comes so I head to an in-game store to sell my useless items. You know, like my self-respect.

Thorsday: Chat?

Without replying, I drag my earphones on and the familiar noise sounds to indicate we’re both on the server. I check the screen. Only us logged into voice chat.

“Good flight?” I ask.

“Yeah. Not bad.”

“Not working tomorrow?”

“No. I’m away mid-week, business trip, taking a day off to recover from the weekend.”

“I wish,” I say with a laugh. “I’ll be the zombie at work tomorrow, disguised in The Walking Dead display.”

“Sleep, then.”

“I can’t.”

Travelling for work? So he is a businessman? Salesman? He doesn’t look like a professional who’d require grooming. I snort. Grooming: like a dog.

I refocus on the game. Jesus, how much crap am I carrying in my bags. Tiger bones, tattered cloth, broken teeth, weeds... Fortunately, the game pays gold even for items nobody can use.

“Sin.” He interrupts my character’s bag rearrangement.

“Yes, Aaron?”

“Evie. Are you pissed off with me?”

“Why? What did I say?”

“No. This morning. You seemed pissed off.”

I sigh. “I think I made a mistake. With you. I do this every time—decide it’s just sex and then feel crap afterwards.”

His voice softens. “Oh. You make me feel bad. I didn’t realise. I thought you were cool with...uh, things.”

“Don’t feel bad. It’s fine.” Liar, liar.

“Evie, I didn’t think. I’m sorry. You know I need to keep the game separate to my life. And you have to agree about the long-distance thing.”

“Need? Why do you need to keep everything so separate?” I blurt, immediately wishing I hadn’t revealed this much of myself.

“We’ve discussed this, because the game’s our place to escape from the shit in the outside world. Where everything’s simpler.”

“Reality’s always at the edge, Aaron.”

“And that’s where I want to keep my relationships. At the edge.”

I bite on my lip, frustrated that this situation affects me as much as it does.

“I shouldn’t’ve gone to the party,” he finishes.

“I understand,” I lie. Again.

“How did the raid go tonight?” he asks. “Did you guys get far?”

“Don’t,” I whisper. “Don’t just shut me down.”

There’s a pause. “Maybe it’s not you I’m shutting down. Maybe it’s myself.”

“I’m too tired for this.”

“I thought you said you weren’t tired?”

I stare at the screen, at the quests, at my character alone in the half-empty town. Suddenly, for the first time in months, I can’t be bothered. Everything is too hard.

Aaron’s right. Reality should stay at the edge.