Crash! I slammed Bentley into the boards, harder than necessary for a practice.

“Fuck,” Bentley groaned as he pushed himself up off the ice. “Man, I’ve kept my mouth shut for weeks.”

“Ontario won’t go easy on you. I won’t either.” I skated off, trying and failing to keep Trevor Hewitt, and the night he ruined my life out of my head.

It had been a week since I’d forced Paige to see me as the asshole everyone else did. A week since I’d been in love and happy for the first time in my life before I fucked it all up, just as I knew I would. It hurt like fucking hell, but I knew she was a million times better off without me in her life. She’d move on, marry a Kennedy, and have the perfect life she’d been groomed for. She’d be happy. Well...content, at least.

That’s not your Red, and you know it.

She’s not mine anymore. Shut the fuck up.

This battle with myself hadn’t let up for even a second since that night. And today I was letting that frustration out on the ice.

“Rory,” Coach called me to the box after I’d checked another teammate into the boards as hard as possible.

I skidded to a stop before him, slipping inside and sinking down on the bench next to him.

“You all right?” he asked.

“Fine.”

“Ready to play on Saturday?”

“Absolutely.” Game one of the Stanley Cup Finals. My dream. And I was more than ready. After all, if I couldn’t have the dream of Paige, I’d sure as fuck nail this one.

“You seem to be working out something out there. Want to let me in?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Nope.” I took a swig of water from one of the many bottles in the box.

“Fine. You’re looking great. Whatever it is you’re doing, keep doing it.” He clapped me on the back. “But not today. Go shower up.”

I bolted off the bench. “But Coach!” There was still an hour left in practice and I’d only just warmed up.

He shook his head. “I said you’re doing great. Just save it for Ontario. I don’t need my players hurt because something lit a fire under you. Rest up.”

I huffed, knowing he had a point. “Yes, sir.”

I unlaced my skates and stalked toward the locker room. Even as I showered, I itched to unleash more pain on anyone who could take it. Coach had said something had lit a fire under me, but it wasn’t something. It was someone. My Red. The woman had made my soul blaze from the second I’d touched her. She was all consuming, and for the briefest of moments, I breathed fire. Now, with the absence of her, all that made me up was rage. I stood under the water until my skin puckered and my blood ran slightly cooler.

“Bro,” Gage nodded to me as I toweled off. He and the rest of the team had just funneled in from practice. “You good?”

I flipped him off.

“Okay, wrong question.” Gage started stripping off his gear at his locker next to mine. He shook his head, his knowing eyes too judgy for my liking. “You know—”

“Don’t, man. Don’t say a fucking word.”

Gage stood, his height just barely beating mine. “Fuck you. You’re being an idiot.”

“Hey now, kids,” Warren chided from behind Gage. “We’re all bros here remember?”

“Shut up!” Both Gage and I snapped in unison. Warren flipped us both off and headed to the showers.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself.” Gage continued.

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Bullshit. Paige is a wreck. You’re being a bigger asshole than usual…”

Her name on his lips snapped my attention up to him, breaking my rage-wall. “She’s a wreck?”

What did you think she’d be asshole? You think a week goes by and she’s skipping down easy street?

“Yeah,” Gage crossed his arms over his chest. “Not that I’m supposed to tell you that.” He raked his hands through his hair.

“What else did Bailey say?” I asked, suddenly desperate to be in the know. How could I simultaneously want to soothe Paige’s pain and be the cause of it?

Because it will be better for her in the long run. You ruin everything. Right.

Something flashed behind Gage’s eyes, but he quickly started digging through his locker. “I don’t know, man. Stuff. Why did you do it?”

I shrugged. “It wasn’t real. It was a challenge, and I failed.”

“Bullshit.”

I punched my locker closed, knowing I couldn’t lie to my best friend. “She deserves better. It was the only way I knew how to ensure she’d get what she deserved one day.”

“She deserved you.” Gage forced me to look him in the eye. “You loved her. Still do. Why are you making it so difficult?”

“Because! There won’t be a time in my life that I’m good enough for her!”

“And there hasn’t been one time in mine that I’ve been good enough for Bailey, but we fucking make it work. That’s what love is! She makes you better, and you take care of her.”

I rested my head against my closed locker, the cool metal searing my heated skin. “Paige. Deserves. Better. I cost her everything, and I’ll never be in a position to hurt her again.”

“Fine, man. You want to ruin your life and hers. Fine. I can’t stop you.” He slammed his locker shut. “Just know you’re making the biggest mistake of your life.” He stomped toward the showers, leaving me shaking with adrenaline.

I knew he was right. I knew Paige was it for me. No one would ever be close to what she meant to me. That’s why I did what I did. Because I loved her and wanted her to have the life she’d always dreamed of. The one where she ran her family company and built her dream shelters all over the country. One with someone who treated her like the queen she was.

And I only hoped that without me in the picture, her father had changed his mind on his ultimatum.

“Jackson,” Bentley called my name from the exit.

“What?” I snapped, jerking my head up toward him.

He walked to me, his hands raised. “Fucking chill, man. That redhead is outside asking for you.”

My heart jolted in my chest, the little bitch having the dare to hope. “Fucking tell her I’m not here.”

“Fuck you. I’m not your messenger.”

I arched my head to the ceiling. Why are you here, Paige? Why couldn’t she stay away?

The same reason you’ve practically been handcuffing yourself to your bed every night to keep from going to her.

Had my cold goodbye on the rooftop not been convincing enough? What else did I have to do to get her to believe I was the asshole everyone said I was?

I slipped a shirt over my head, unable to take the battle a second longer, and stepped into the hallway. There she was, as gorgeous as ever, hell, even more so since it had been a week since I saw her last. I had stayed away from the press, too, so I hadn’t even seen a picture of her. I hadn’t wanted to; it was too painful. And seeing her in person, now? Fuck, might as well rip my heart out and put it in a blender.

Her green eyes widened as she took me in and I self-consciously rubbed at the scruff decorating my chin. She was lucky I’d showered at all today. Shaving, eating, sleeping—they’d all fallen off my radar the second I’d forced her from my life.

“Hi,” she said, her voice smaller than I’d ever heard it.

“What are you doing here?” I snapped, the anger from my conversation with Gage offering the perfect asshole tone I needed to use with her.

Her perfect red lips popped into the shape of an O before she straightened her spine. “I need to discuss something with you.”

I shook my head. “No, you don’t.” God, I wanted to keep her talking. Just to hear her voice. You want more than that.

“Yes. It’s important.”

“Another contract?” I pulled out my best smirk. “I’m all booked now.” I love you. I need you. I’m sorry.

She sighed. “Stop. Please? I can tell this isn’t you.”

“You don’t know me.” I swallowed hard, praying she couldn’t see the Grecian battle raging inside me, fighting off every instinct that screamed out to touch her. Hold her. Beg for her to take me back.

“That’s a lie. I know you better than anyone ever has.”

“Whatever. Look, I’ve got to go.” I turned back toward the locker room, the move searing every inch of my insides.

“Rory,” she said, reaching out and touching my arm to stop me. Her fingers singed the bare skin, and I clenched my jaw to stop myself from grabbing her and kissing the breath out of her. She took the flex offensively, jerking her hand back as if I were going to bite. “I really need to talk to you.”

Everything in me wanted to know what she had to say, wanted to listen to her read a fucking menu if meant she kept talking, but the one part of me that truly loved her knew I couldn’t. “I’m already late,” I said. “Hot date tonight, so, whatever is why don’t you email it? Or just forget about it.” I spared her one last glance, just quick enough to catch the angry tears in her eyes before I shut the door in her face.

“What was that about?” Gage asked as he toweled his hair.

“I’m an asshole.” I snapped.

“Fuck, man what was that?” His eyes darted to the door and back to me. “Was it Paige?”

“Why does it matter?”

“What did she say?” The urgency in his tone had all my nerves on edge.

“Gage?”

“What did she say?” He practically growled.

“Nothing, man!” I shook my head. “I didn’t let her. I told her off. It’s better for her!” I didn’t want to have this fucking argument again.

Gage threw his massive arms in the air, searching the area for something to throw. With only the bench in reach, he took a steadying breath. Dude was way more in control than I was. “Fuck my life!” He screamed.

“What is up your ass, man?”

“Bailey is going to fucking kill me, that’s what.”

A knot formed in my stomach. “What are you talking about?”

“What I’m not supposed to be talking about.” He pinched the bridge of his nose before looking up at me. “I need you to be honest with me, man. Do you love her?”

I slit my eyes at him. “You know I do. That’s why I have to make her leave me—”

“Fuck your twisted way of protecting her. Of giving her a better life. Do you love her? Like, do anything for her kind of love?”

“You think I’d kill myself like this over someone who I didn’t?” I shrugged. “I’m in hell without her, but I’m willing to take that shit if it means she gets what she wants out of life. Things I can’t possibly give her.”

“All right. This conversation never happened.” Gage sighed. “She left her father’s company.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Basically told him to fuck himself for trying to make her choose between work and you.”

I’m such an asshole.

“But her shelter. The funding…”

“Didn’t matter. She still left.”

I raked my fingers through my hair. “Fuck.”

“There’s more, but you should really let her tell you.”

I cut my eyes to him. “How? How can there be more than that?”

He paced the length of the bench before us, battling with himself. “Fucking hell, man Bailey is going to chop something off of me…”

“I don’t care, bro! You’re fucking scaring me!”

“It’s not really my place—”

“Gage.” My tone had the death threat warning that stopped his pacing.

“Paige is…” he swallowed hard like the words were spikes coming out of his mouth. “Pregnant.”

I fell down, my ass hitting the bench with a loud smack. The edges of my vision went blurry—shiny like a sparkling fog had suddenly filled the locker room. Pregnant. The word repeated itself in my head and my heart raced. The image of a green-eyed, redheaded princess popped behind my fog covered eyes—she’d have a laugh like her mother’s. And a temper like mine.

“Rory?” Gage’s hand was on my shoulder, but his voice sounded far away.

The vision turned. One where Paige was left to raise our daughter alone all because I’d thought she’d be better off without me. No fucking way. She was mine. And if took an eternity I’d spend every day making up for all the shit I’d fucked up.

“Fuck, she thinks I don’t care about her!” I stood up, my eyes clearing. “She thinks I used her.”

“Wasn’t that your goal?” Gage said, looking at me with a smug face.

“I really am an asshole.”

He nodded. “There is time to make this right.”

“Right,” I said the word, withdrawing into myself. How could I possibly prove it to her? Prove to her I loved her more than anything on this entire fucking planet? A light clicked on in my overcrowded brain, and I snapped my eyes to Gage. “I know what I have to do.”

I just hoped it would be enough.