I chose Western State because I wanted to be far enough away from my family that I could experience college life. As the middle child and only girl in my family, I have spent the first 18 years of my life being sheltered in ways that most girls can’t even imagine. No driving, no hanging with friends because I didn’t have any friends, no slumber parties, again the no friends, and by all means no boyfriends. I figured out pretty early on that it was easier to spend my free time daydreaming and studying than it was trying to convince my dad and brothers to let me live a normal teenage life.

The biggest social event in my life thus far have always included one of my brothers; usually Calvin, my older brother. Every once in a while he would invite me to come along with him and his friends. It was usually doing something that I had no interest in, but sometimes that was better than staying home. I learned, very quickly, to pretend that I had no interest in any of the guys. Truth is a couple of his friends were hot, but as soon as they tried to engage in what I called conversation, Calvin called flirting, we would be on our way home.

Socializing with my younger brother, Kyler, usually involves sporting events of some sort. He plays football, basketball, soccer and baseball which means I get to sit with my parents and watch. Don’t get me wrong, I love watching Kyler play, he’s an excellent athlete and maybe someday I’ll be sitting in a professional stadium watching him. Hopefully by the time that day comes, if it does, I will have created a life for myself. It’s one thing to be a teenager who doesn’t have a life, it would be something completely different if I was a grown adult who didn’t have a life. At my age now, most guys are intimidated by my dad so they don’t even attempt to approach whenever he is around. If I don’t break out of this now, I will be the single, middle age lady who still lives with her parents.

The weekend before my big move into the dorms, I convinced my mom to take me shopping without my dad and brothers. Normally shopping for clothes included them tagging along, there is nothing worse than your dad picking out your clothes. Sure he would pick out name brand stuff, because it is not like we can’t afford it, it’s just the stuff he picks looks like it belongs on the first lady not a high school student. My dad owns seven dealerships, ranging from Ford to Toyota to Land Rover. Let’s just say, me not driving has nothing to do with the lack of vehicles available or any other reason financially related; it is 100% my dad wanting me to stay a little girl, who happens to be dressed like an old lady. If I am honest, it is the number one reason I didn’t want him to tag along while shopping for the clothes I plan to wear while experiencing college (i.e. freedom) for the first time. Telling my dad I wanted to have the mother daughter time before being out on my own worked. He gave us his blessing and credit card before sending us on our way. First stop was the mall, Nordstrom to be exact. I am beyond thankful for the young saleswoman working there, despite the clear confusion she had looking between my mom and me. A quick glance at my mom, it’s clear she spares no expense when it come to her look, nothing super flashy just extremely high quality. She had to do a double take looking at me, sure Mom and I look alike but the clothes Dad picks for me make me look like my mom’s sister. I wasn’t afraid to use the sales lady to help my cause; I quickly told her I was getting ready to head off to college and wanted a new look. With dollar signs in her eyes she got to work, she set me up in the dressing room and told me to get started while she went out and picked other items she thought I would like. At one point while dropping off a series of dresses to try on, she asked if I needed help with anything. I was uncomfortable having someone I didn’t know help zip me up, but I knew if I asked my mom she would panic and I wouldn’t have any dresses to try on. So I opened the dressing room door for her to step inside, it was then that she caught a glimpse of my old lady bra and panties. Yes, my dad picked them out for me too. She worked her sales skills, earned her commission, and was able to help me convince my mom the clothes were exactly what I needed to fit in at college. Shoot for that matter, Victoria’s Secret should give her a commission too, because it was only with her recommendation that my mom took me to their semiannual sale for new bras and panties. Thank god I would not be taking my old cotton, grannie panties with me to school.

Now I just had to keep my new clothes hidden, I didn’t want to risk my dad or either brother seeing what we bought. While picking up school supplies at Target, I convinced my mom I would need under the bed storage totes. I unloaded all my new clothes into them while standing in the Target parking lot at the back of her SUV. I could see the looks I was getting from people in the parking lot. Women smiled, one lady even stopped to tell me I was brilliant, she had never thought of putting a tote in the back of her car to hide her purchases from her husband. Men looked at me with confusion which was fine by me.

Since my social life consisted of only my family, I didn’t have a big going away party planned. I spent the last week at home hanging out with my brothers and daydreaming about what life will be like during my first year of college. Will I get along with my roommate, will I meet friends, will I meet guys, will I like guys, will guys like me, will I be okay without my brothers, will my dad really let me go? I was making myself crazy thinking, hoping and planning. I replayed the visions I had for myself over and over. I dreamed of what college classes would be like. I quickly realized I wanted to just get the lay of the land and blend in. I didn’t need to have a crazy social life or be mega popular. I wasn’t planning a major rebellion from how I was raised, but I was looking forward to making my own decisions and being open to exploring relationships with people I choose. I was as ready as I was going to be, I just needed to finish packing, stop dreaming and start planning on how I want my college life to go.