Niyol woke the next morning feeling happier than he had in a long while. He ate a quick breakfast with Margery before she had to leave for the diner, smiling the whole time. As Margery waved to him from the passenger seat of Rose’s pickup, Niyol thought to himself that maybe it was time to let go of the pain and guilt he’d held in his heart for so long.

He turned back to the house and plopped down at the kitchen table across from Jill and Luke. Jill stared down at her breakfast, moving the food around the plate with her fork.

“You still want to go today?” she asked.

Niyol looked at her, frowning in confusion. It was a few seconds before he remembered they had planned to visit her mother’s grave today. It was a long drive, but he had jumped at the opportunity to spend so much uninterrupted time with Jill.

“Of course,” he said, giving her a small smile. “I’m ready when you are.”

Jill nodded. “Rose left us a cooler full of food for the trip,” she replied, gesturing over his shoulder toward the cooler and two large thermoses on the counter.

Niyol stood to gather the supplies and grab his keys from a nearby hook. “I’ll go warm up the car while you finish your breakfast,” he told Jill.

“I’m done,” Jill said, scooting her chair back.

Luke placed a firm hand on her shoulder, keeping her in her seat. “No, you aren’t. If you don’t want eggs, I’ll fix you whatever you want, but you will eat something before you leave.”

Jill rolled her eyes but scooted back toward the table.

Niyol exchanged looks with Luke, a silent promise to keep an eye on Jill and ensure she was taking care of herself, and then rushed to warm up the car for her. He was excited to spend the time with Jill, but he didn’t know what to expect when they got to the gravesite. It had been a while since he had visited Haseya’s final resting place, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to face the guilt it would bring, but he would do it if it meant spending time with his daughter.

A half hour later, Niyol and a well-fed Jill pulled out of the parking lot in his cozy, warm car. On the drive, they shared stories of their childhoods, their hopes and fears and dreams. Niyol’s already jubilant mood soared at finally getting to know his own daughter. He wished with all his heart he had gotten to watch her grow up, but he knew he couldn’t change the past. More than anything, he just wanted to be a part of her life now, and it filled him with joy to think Jill wanted the same thing.

They stopped for gas around lunch time. Jill pulled out the cooler of food while Niyol pumped the gas. Niyol—to his immense relief—did not have to force Jill to eat her lunch, and they ate in companionable silence. It seemed her nausea was worse in the morning, but lunch and dinner were easier to choke down—perhaps because she already had something in her stomach. He made a mental note of that for future reference, and so he could tell Luke what he thought. Maybe, between them, they could keep Jill a little more comfortable and healthy.

The last half of their journey was a little quieter. Jill fell asleep not long after lunch, and Niyol watched as the scenery flew by, his thoughts on Haseya and all they had lost. His mood had turned melancholy by the time he pulled up to the cemetery.

“We’re here,” he whispered, shaking Jill gently awake.

Jill blinked awake and looked around, grimacing. Niyol jumped out of the car and rushed to help Jill out. Tucking her arm into his, he led her past hundreds of tombstones, up a hill, and down a narrow path. Her mother’s grave rested under an aspen tree surrounded by a half-dozen other tombstones.

“How did she get such a beautiful gravesite?” Jill whispered.

“When I finally tracked your mother down, they had already cremated her. It’s what the government does when no one claims a person’s remains within a certain number of days. They released her remains to me, and I buried her here under her favorite type of tree.”

“Oh,” Jill said. “I like aspens, too.”

Niyol wracked his brain for something to say, but he didn’t know how to handle this type of situation. He didn’t know how Jill felt, and he would hate to say the wrong thing to her. Silence enveloped them as they stared down at the gray tombstone.

“I don’t know what I was looking for,” Jill said after a few minutes. “I hate cemeteries. They’ve always given me a weird feeling. I guess I was hoping to feel some connection to her, but I can’t.”

Niyol squeezed her hand, at a loss for words of comfort.

“Do you mind if I wait in the car for you?” Jill asked, rubbing her arms with her hands. “This cemetery is freaking me out, and I’m a little tired.”

“I can walk you back,” Niyol offered.

“No,” Jill said, handing him the flowers she had cut from Rose’s garden and brought with them. “Take your time. I’ll be fine.”

Niyol nodded and watched her disappear down the path. He looked back at Haseya’s tombstone. “You would be proud of her,” he murmured. “Jill, I mean. She’s stronger than I could have hoped. And funny. And very kind. She’s a wilderness expert, and she works for our long-lost relative, Rose.

“Rose is Kate Callahan’s many-great-granddaughter. Remember her from the story about Niyol and Haseya? How Haseya stayed with Kate for a time before going back to her own family? That’s Rose’s ancestor. I think you would like Rose. She likes to be a little mysterious, and she has a meddling streak, but she means well.”

Niyol laid the flowers across the grave, kneeling down in the grass to arrange them and to brush dirt off the bottom of the tombstone. “But I guess you know that. Do you? Are you looking down on us?” He leaned back from the stone and gazed at it. “Why did you do it, Haseya? Why did you leave?”

Only the wind answered him. He hadn’t really expected an answer from her, but the silence was definitely getting to him.

“I met someone,” he whispered. “Her name is Margery, and she makes me happier than I’ve felt in a long time. Happier than I’ve been since I came home to find you gone.”

He sighed. “But I don’t deserve happiness, do I? How could I when I never made you happy enough? I should have been there for you. I should have helped you more. And I know it’s been so long since then, but how can I move on with my life when you don’t even get to live yours. You’ve missed so much, and it’s all my fault.”

His voice broke as tears trickled down his face, blurring his vision, and his shoulders shook as his grief and guilt tore out of him in horrible wracking sobs.

Jill had followed the path, but she must have made a wrong turn because she had no idea where she was, and she couldn’t see the parking lot at all. It was an impossibly big cemetery, so she turned back the way she had come, deciding to wait with her father and let him lead her back to the car.

Grumbling, she picked her way back along the path, doing her best to ignore the shivery feeling the cemetery gave her. She hated graveyards. Niyol’s voice carried a little on the winds, so she followed it back up the path, stopping several yards away. Before, she hadn’t been able to make out his words, but now she could.

Her heart broke as she listened to his quiet pleadings with her long-dead mother. Jill knew her father had harbored guilt over Haseya’s death, but she hadn’t realized it had run so deeply until now.

Without thinking, she strode forward and rested her hand on his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. Niyol jumped at her touch before turning his tear-streaked face toward her. Jill knelt down next to him and brushed his tears away with cool fingers.

“Dad,” she murmured. It was the first time she had used the title with him, and the shock of hearing it for the first time stopped his tears.

“Dad,” she continued. “I never knew my mother, but you have told me at least a hundred times how much I remind you of her. If that’s true, then I don’t think for a second she blames you for what happened. You said yourself, she lived with depression most of her life. Depression eats away at you. It worms its way into your mind and tears you down piece by piece. People couldn’t see it, but the sadness, the pain, the emptiness—they were always there. And… they just got to be too much. Her death wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t even her fault.

“Her death was heartbreaking and unfair, but you can’t continue to blame yourself for things out of your control. You have to stop thinking you could have loved her depression away because you couldn’t have. You loved her. And it was enough. She had many happy years with you. You gave her a daughter and a life and a name.”

Jill wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. “You have to stop blaming yourself. Of course you deserve happiness. Haseya wouldn’t want you to live a life of loneliness and grief. Be with Margery or whoever makes you happy. Be happy with me and Rose and Luke and your future grandchildren. I want my babies to have a happy family that surrounds them with love and joy. Leave sadness and guilt in the past where they belong. Don’t let your guilt keep you from seeing the amazing things right in front of you. Our family. Our home.”

Niyol choked on sobs as he clutched his only daughter to him. Jill stroked his back and held him, gazing at her mother’s tombstone. Who cared if Jill knew everything about her mother? She knew she would always carry a part of her mother inside herself, and that was more than enough.

What mattered now was her father. He had been just as alone and lost as Jill had been all her life, but now they had found each other. It was a gift Jill intended to cherish for the rest of her days. She and Niyol needed each other now, and it was up to them to take care of each other. As her father’s sobs died down, he raised his head to meet her gaze.

“Let’s go home, Dad,” she said, releasing him and holding out her hand.

Niyol took it and helped her stand. Sidling up close to him, Jill clutched his arm as he led them out of the cemetery. They began their trip back to Springvale hopeful for a brighter future together as father and daughter.