Ashton
I hear voices. Low, angry whispers filled with an urgency that should fill me with fear. However, I don’t feel anything but the usual emptiness.
This was supposed to be the answer to everything. Just one evening in exchange for my freedom. How did I let it go so wrong?
I feel cold all over. From the inside out, I feel the shivers begin. I must be strong, don’t give into the fear. I just did and look where that got me—in a whole load of trouble that’s where.
The voices raise slightly and I hear them mention Donahue. It hits me hard as I picture his face, looking at me with disappointment and something else I can’t deal with right now.
Shakily, I pull myself up and swing my trembling legs to the side of the bed. I need to get it together. He will be here soon and can’t see me like this. My body feels sore and used. It aches all over and the pain is every bit as physical as it is mental.
So that was what it’s like. Nothing like the books and films. Then again, there’s no romance when you sell your virginity to the highest bidder. What did I expect? Not that anyway. Not to be used by more than just one man. Not to become the plaything of a bunch of powerful men who get off on ripping the innocence from a young virgin. I didn’t deserve that, not for all the money in the world.
Once again, I shiver as I reach for my dress. This wasn’t supposed to be this way.
I hear somebody approaching and stiffen in fear. Not again, please not again.
The door handle turns and my heart thumps. I swallow hard and prepare for more. Silently I pray, please no more.
I look down as he comes into the room. I close my eyes as if it will make him go away. If I can’t see him, he can’t see me. Isn’t that what we believe as children? But I am no child and this is no fairy story. This is real life, brutal, hard and unrelenting. My life in every way.
I sense him approach the bed and stand there nervously. Now he is unsure, unlike before when he was sure of only one thing. Claiming my virginity while his friends watched and held me down. Then he tossed me to the pack like a used carcass. I hate him; I hate them!
He clears his throat.
“Get dressed, we’ve sent for Donahue. He’ll be here soon and then you can go.”
I nod, still looking down. I never want to see his face again.
He is silent and then says softly.
“You knew what would happen. You signed a contract and there was no going back.”
I just nod, saying nothing. I want him to leave, he disgusts me in every way. They all do and not just the five men that paid for my soul. I am just a prize, a bargaining chip for men to use and abuse as they see fit. How did my life end up this way?
He clears his throat.
“You know, you can never speak of what happened here—it’s for your own safety. Promise me that at least.”
What does he mean—at least? I owe them nothing. Yes, I signed a contract, but surely if you change your mind it should count? Obviously not.
I nod and shiver as he drops to his knees before me. I recoil as he reaches out and tilts my face to his.
He says forcefully. “Look at me.”
Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes and look into the ones of the man I despise almost more than another. He is wearing a hard expression, and the fear grips me.
He says darkly. “I mean it, honey. You speak one word of what happened here to anyone and you won’t live to tell another. There are consequences of playing with the big boys and you need to know what they are.”
He grips my face hard and I feel him hurting me again. I look at him with terror in my eyes and just nod.
He releases me and then traces a light trail down my cheeks towards my body. His touch sends feelings of revulsion through me as he brands my body with hate and disgust. He carries on touching me and I shiver inside. He says huskily, “You are so beautiful, Ashton. What man wouldn’t want to own this beautiful body? Your innocence is like the temptation of Eve to Adam and there is no man who could resist such a prize. I wish you would reconsider. I would treat you well and protect you as only I can. Your life would be filled with riches and you would want for nothing. Think about it because it’s not too late to change your mind. You could have it all, honey.”
He touches my breast and caresses it reverently. I hear his breathing change as he leans closer and my heart beats so fast I can hear it. Oh, please no, not again.
Then we hear voices outside and he pulls away. The moment is gone, and he says harshly. “Get dressed, he’s here.”
As he makes to leave, he stops and turns to face me.
“If you change your mind, you know where we are. You were every bit as delicious as I knew you would be. You’ve earned your freedom, Ashton. Just don’t screw it up.”
He leaves the room and the blood pounds in my head. ‘I have earned my freedom.’ How little he knows. I will never be free. I have already screwed it up and now it’s up to Donahue to sort it out—again.