Curling up on the couch, I can’t help but wonder who I pissed off in my previous life. Even a boilermaker hasn’t soothed my anxiety. My head is pounding. I tried to call Alex, but she didn’t answer. It’s a Friday night, so she’s probably out with some guy.
Why does that make me think of Daniel? I can’t even process everything that happened tonight. I know I owe him an explanation, but where do I even start? My cancer? Jay dumping me? No children? I keep playing the same loop in my mind.
I appreciate how Daniel tried to comfort me, but I did what I always do when I’m hurt. I run. Glancing at my phone, I see it’s ten o’clock. It’s so early, but I’m whipped. As I move to get off the couch, my doorbell rings. Who the hell could that be?
Looking out the curtain, I see Daniel’s car in my driveway. Crap. I know I need to face him, but I don’t know if I can do it tonight.
Daniel knocks again. “Nicole, I saw you look out the window. Can I just come in for a few minutes? I want to make sure you’re OK.”
Blowing out a sigh, I unlock the door. Damn. The sight of Daniel never ceases to amaze me.
“Hi,” he says. Looking at him, I can tell that he is in turmoil too.
“Hi,” I say back, not knowing where to start.
Daniel grabs my hand and pulls it to his lips. Gently, he kisses my knuckles, making me squirm where I stand, but I need to take control before things get out of hand.
“Daniel, you have a right to know what is going on with me, so please come in. Do you want some coffee?” I ask as I head into my kitchen.
Daniel nods, following me. He sits at the table while I set up the coffeemaker.
“Nicole, I want to say something before you begin, OK?”
Sitting down next to him, I nod for him to continue.
“What Serena said tonight, ya know, about you not being able to have children? You don’t have to tell me if it’s true or not. But I want you to know if it is, it doesn’t matter to me.”
“It will always matter, Daniel.”
Taking in a deep breath, I try to fill him in on my condition. “When I was younger, I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer.”
I can see Daniel’s face fall, but I continue before he can say anything. “We didn’t catch it until it was at Stage III. I went through chemo and radiation, and both seemed to help at first. A year later, the cancer returned, so I decided to have surgery to remove my uterus, cervix, and ovaries.”
“Jesus, Nicole. I’m so sorry. How are you now? I mean with the cancer?”
“I’ve been cancer-free for seven years now,” I say with a smile. “I’m one of the lucky ones.”
Daniel pulls his chair closer to mine. Taking my face in my hands, he makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world.
“Nicole, I’m sorry that Serena found out. Believe me when I tell you that she will not be sharing that information with anyone.”
“Did you talk to her?”
“Yes. After you left, I dropped Lucy off at my sister’s apartment. I confronted Serena, telling her that if you wanted to go to the medical board and file a complaint, I’d help you. What she did, Nicole, is a violation of your privacy.”
“I just want it to go away,” I say, standing to get our coffee.
“Listen. I meant what I said when I told you it doesn’t matter to me if you can’t have children. I know we aren’t in a serious relationship and things are a little crazy, but it will never matter to me.”
Handing him a cup of coffee, I know I need to finish the story.
“Daniel, I need to tell you some other things too. Things that are very painful for me, but you have a right to know. I think it will help you realize how wrong you are.”