Chapter Thirteen
Ronan’s hands stayed pressed to Noah’s shoulders as they walked, the alpha guiding him along step by step. They paused, and Noah heard the sound of a door being unlocked before a hand on the small of his back urged him forward.
The room they stepped into was a degree or two warmer than the corridor they’d just left. As Ronan continued to guide him into the room, he felt patches of warmth moving across his skin. Sunlight. There were bare floorboards beneath his feet at first, then something cooler and a little softer. Not carpet but… a mat?
“I think that’s enough of the blindfold for now,” Ronan said. “You need your eyes for the rest of today’s practice.”
There was a tug on the back of his head and then the material slid down his face and off his eyes before Ronan pulled it off and tossed it out of sight. Noah blinked at the sunlight and slowly turned, taking in the room around him. They were standing almost in the center with a line of windows to his left and straight ahead.
“We’re at the north corner of the house. It was two rooms once, but I knocked them together to have more space.”
More space for what?
“This is a gym?” Noah asked.
“Not exactly. It’s a training space, but I don’t exactly train for sport.”
“Then what do you train for?” he wondered, catching sight of his reflection in a mirror, and hurriedly looking away.
“My job.”
Noah guessed that made sense. A bounty hunter would need to be stronger and faster than his bounty. To do that, he’d have to train.
Ronan moved behind him, bodily turning Noah back toward the mirror. He tried to turn away again, but the alpha’s arms closed around him, holding him in place. The mirror was floor to ceiling and took up the center part of the wall, between the doors leading out to the corridors. There was no escaping his image unless he looked down at his feet, which he did.
“Why do you need an enormous mirror? Are you one of those alphas who loves the sight of his own body?”
It was a hurtful thing to say, but he’d already said it, his tone heavy with sarcasm.
“Yep, gotta see those muscles bulge,” Ronan teased back, not fazed by Noah’s anger. “Okay, serious answer? You need to be able to see what you’re doing with your body to be sure you’re doing it right.”
“But why am I facing the mirror? Can’t I look the other way, toward the windows?”
Before he’d even finished speaking, Ronan had spun him around, so their backs were now to the mirror.
“Sure thing. For now. But, by the end of our session, I’m going to have you looking at yourself in that mirror without flinching.”
Noah snorted. Like that was going to happen.
“Don’t believe me?” Ronan asked, his voice low.
“I believe you want me to be able to, I just don’t think I can.”
“Fine,” Ronan said. “Loser does the washing up. Deal?”
“Deal.”
They shook on it as Ronan moved to stand in front of him.
“Time to warm up.”
They spent a while just stretching, Noah doing his best to mimic the effortless movements of the alpha. At first, he was all over the place, struggling with the urge to yank his T-shirt down every time he raised his arms and it pulled up. Not to mention tugging his pants back up when they started to slip down his hips.
Ronan didn’t remark on his awkward clumsiness, he just kept up a slow, persistent pace, pausing now and then to let Noah catch up.
They did some floor work, Noah at pains not to roll toward the mirror. Then they were back on their feet, stretching again, faster this time. Noah got caught up in the rhythm, and he didn’t even notice his pants had slipped low on his hips until a long stretch upward toward the ceiling had him glancing down to see he was exposed from the top of his stomach to below his hip bones. The small patch of scars the snaked around from his back to his navel stood out against his pale skin, and he swallowed hard. Then a beam of sunshine from the window played across his skin and Ronan was there, pressed right to his back, his hands catching Noah’s hands and holding on tight.
“You’re doing great, so beautiful. Even the sun thinks so.”
“I… I should…” The urge to cover himself up was strong, his anxiety peaking.
“Hold tight. Just listen to my voice. You’re doing so great. There’s no one here but you and me and, if I had my way, I’d be worshipping every inch of your skin right now, starting here.”
He let go of one of Noah’s hands and dipped downward to touch his stomach. Noah’s body couldn’t decide what way to move to get away and wound up staying still as the alpha’s hand cupped his hip bone then slowly slid across to lie flat just under his navel.
“Let’s do some breathing exercises,” Ronan said.
Noah was almost panting with anxiety, but he clung to Ronan’s words.
“First, take a deep breath in, drawing it right down to where my hand is.”
He managed a shaky breath, the alpha’s hand warm on his skin.
“Breathe out. And then in again, you want to feel it right here,” he continued, his hand pressing into Noah’s abdomen.
“That’s it. And out again.”
Noah wanted to shut his eyes, but he couldn’t, so he just focused on his breath like Ronan said. It got easier as the minutes passed, the urge to cover up fading away.
Ronan shifted so that his arm was around Noah’s waist, the alpha’s bare skin right across Noah’s stomach.
“You are so amazing. See how well you’ve done? Got that heart rate right down, got that breathing nice and slow.”
The alpha’s nose nuzzled against the side of his neck. Noah inhaled sharply and turned his head to the side, giving Ronan more access, wanting to know what the alpha would do next.
“I think it’s time we turned you around, let you have a look at yourself in the mirror.”
Noah felt his body go tense as he instinctively tried to break free.
“Hey, easy,” Ronan said.
His tone didn’t change, keeping to that low, calming voice that made it easy for Noah to believe everything would be okay.
“One step at a time. You don’t even have to look, we’re just going to move.”
Noah tucked his chin in until the only thing he could see past Ronan’s arm around his stomach were his toes. The alpha turned them both until they were facing the mirror, his arms loosening as his hand returned to press over Noah’s stomach.
“Just like before. Nice, deep breath in, right here.”
He coaxed Noah through a few more breaths until Noah was able to keep it up by himself.
“I wish you could see yourself right now,” the alpha said, his voice hushed. “See how amazing you look. See how we look, together.”
It was the ‘we’ that got him, a sudden curiosity to know what they looked like in each other’s arms. He jerked his head up, forgetting all about his breathing and just stared.
“We… I…”
“You look good.”
“I look pale.” Like a ghost.
“Nothing a bit of time in the sun wouldn’t cure.”
Ronan moved his hands to either side of Noah’s waist, just above his hips.
“You’ve got an acrobat’s body. Shoulders, hips, all balanced.”
His fingers teased lower, playing with the waistband of Noah’s pants.
“May I?”
Noah wasn’t sure what he was asking but he nodded anyway, inhaling sharply when Ronan’s hands dipped down beneath his waistband to brush against the top of his thighs. He turned his head then, hiding his face in Ronan’s shoulder.
“Too much?”
He managed a nod, heaving a sigh of relief when the alpha’s hands eased back up to his hips. Turning, he gave himself another glance in the mirror, surprised to see his cheeks flushed and his lips a darker shade of red.
Feeling the need to hide, he turned toward Ronan, pressing his face into the alpha’s chest.
“I think we make quite the picturesque couple,” Ronan teased. “The Christmas cards will look great.”
Despite himself, Noah managed a laugh, swallowing it quickly when Ronan’s hands settled on his back, drawing his shirt up a few inches.
“Ronan…”
“It’s okay.”
“But my scars…”
“It’s just you and me here. I’ve seen your scars.”
“Not all of them.”
“Nothing you can show me is going to scare me off. I think you’re beautiful. You. All of you. Scars, too. And I’m going to prove it.”
Noah craved the confidence in Ronan’s voice, shuddering as the alpha’s hands played lightly across the skin of his back, smooth and scarred patches alike.
Taking a breath, he glanced over his shoulder into the mirror, seeing again just what Ronan had been talking about. Before, whenever he’d chanced to glance at himself in the mirror, all he had seen were his scars. They grew and grew in his mind until he couldn’t see any other part of himself. But with Ronan there with him, for the first time, he didn’t see scars. He saw himself. Weak, skinny, and pale, yes. But he saw past the scars, saw more to himself than those checkered pieces of skin.
“How are you doing that?” he asked the alpha. “The last time someone made me look in the mirror I hyperventilated and almost passed out.”
“That’s the thing about fear, about anxiety. It passes. Your body can’t keep it up so, eventually, it realizes the world isn’t ending and it dials that shit right down. You did that, not me. I’m just keeping you company.”
“Like… arm candy?” Noah suggested, trying to hide a smile.
Ronan spun him around until his back was to his chest again. Their eyes met in the mirror.
“I’ve never seen myself as candy. Not sweet enough. More like expensive dark chocolate. Sinful, but you can almost convince yourself it’s good.”
“But you’re not good?” Noah asked, biting his lower lip as he watched the alpha’s dark eyes.
“Who I am, what I do… it’s not so easy to say as all that. But what I do know is that I want to be your alpha. I want you to be mine, no matter what.”
Noah always thought, if he ever did get an alpha, that it would be an act of pity, a kindness to him. Like maybe someone taking him on as a second mate to be a nanny to their kids or as a glorified housekeeper. But with Ronan… there was real desire in the alpha’s eyes. He wanted Noah, the way an alpha was supposed to want an omega. It was a hard truth to swallow, if only because he wanted it so much.