“Here’s to no more assholes,” Sabrina said, raising her half-drunk bottle of beer in an enthusiastic toast.

They were both slouched against the couch on the floor of Lori’s living room, an empty pizza box between them. “Here, here!” Lori echoed, clinking her bottle loudly against her cousin’s.

Lori was on her third beer. She was just starting to get a pleasant buzz, but she frowned as she took another swallow. “He was an asshole, wasn’t he?”

“Of course,” Sabrina said, picking the remaining cheese off the greasy cardboard and absently putting it in her mouth. “Don’t be stupid. Phil Rothe may be a tiny bit hot, but he’s a world-class asshole and he needs to shave.”

“Right. I mean, we’d only gone out five times. It wasn’t like I was holding out on him indefinitely. I’m not some frigid bitch.”

“Of course not. He’s clearly the one with the problem. Talk about assholes. He didn’t get what he wanted soon enough, so he just moved on. He’s not worth worrying about.”

“I know.” Lori nodded, firmly believing her cousin’s words. But her frown deepened into a scowl just the same. “I was going to have sex with him. I really was. I just didn’t want to rush into it. It’s not like I left him hanging for months or something.”

“He’s the asshole,” Sabrina said in full support mode, even if that meant repeating herself for an entire evening. “Not you.”

Lori’s scowl turned into a sneer. “Asshole,” she muttered, picturing Phil’s dark, rugged face.

A few days ago, Phil had dropped her quite abruptly and quite rudely so he could fuck a twenty-year-old model. While she and Phil hadn’t dated long enough for her heart to be involved, it was humiliating, disappointing, and infuriating.

With a sigh, she said, “Maybe he thought I was a tease.”

“Lori,” Sabrina began, an edge of warning in her voice.

“I know. I didn’t lead him on. But last Friday, we kind of got going and then I made him stop. Maybe he thought—”

“I don’t give a rat’s ass what he thought. You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t have to give it up just because he wants you to. And you have every right to stop sex at any point, whenever you want and for whatever reason.”

“I didn’t change my mind in the middle of sex. We were just messing around some on the couch. Still in our clothes and everything. But he was getting into it. And I wasn’t. As much.”

Sabrina’s expression changed as she set down her empty beer bottle. “Why weren’t you into it?”

Lori shrugged and tried to articulate her somewhat chaotic feelings. “I don’t know. I liked him—I thought. But when we got going, it just didn’t feel right.”

“What didn’t feel right about it?”

“I don’t know.” Lori blushed a little as she made herself admit, “It was all right, I guess. But it wasn’t as good as I’m used to.”

Sabrina snorted and opened her mouth to respond.

Lori spoke over her, “I know. I know. I’m not an idiot. I’m not expecting the same level of expertise as I get with a professional. But...I don’t know. It just seemed like Phil was kind of selfish about stuff.”

“I was afraid of this,” Sabrina said with a sigh. “The truth is that, when it comes to sex, selfishness is pretty typical with guys.”

“Great. How infinitely comforting.”

“I don’t mean they’re all jerks. I just mean it’s more common for them to go about sex focusing on what they want rather than ensuring that you get what you want.” Sabrina shook her head and clicked her tongue. “It’s a sad fact of the world.”

Lori thought about that for a minute. Then she raised her beer bottle. “Here’s to selfish assholes in bed. May they stay far away from us.”

Sabrina chuckled and toasted with her empty bottle. “I’ll drink to that. Or I would if I had any beer left.”

“I’ve got more in the fridge.” Lori got up to get a fresh six-pack out of her refrigerator, and as she returned she heard a familiar bing that signaled she’d received a new email.

She ran over and peered at her computer screen. Then exhaled in disappointment when she saw an ad for Viagra with every other word spelled incorrectly.

She sent the message to her junk mail and returned to Sabrina with the beer.

“Who are you expecting a message from?” Sabrina asked. “A new guy already?”

“No. There’s no new guy. I’m not expecting anything.”

Sabrina narrowed her eyes. “Lori?”

Lori made a face at her cousin, but there was no use trying to keep it a secret. “I emailed Ander yesterday to see if he’d schedule a new appointment with me.”

“What? What? What?”

Embarrassed by the confession and annoyed by Sabrina’s obvious shock, Lori scowled again. “Well, why shouldn’t I? You just got through telling me that most guys are selfish assholes. So why shouldn’t I take the necessary steps to make sure I have good experiences.”

“No reason,” Sabrina said, holding up her hands in defense at Lori’s vehement tone. “But there are good guys out there. They’re just hard to find.”

“I know. And eventually I want to find one. But right now I’m annoyed and frustrated and I don’t want to mess with dating again yet. There aren’t any guys I’m interested in at the moment. Give me one reason why I shouldn’t schedule another session with Ander!”

“As long as you’re not using him as a crutch or secretly hoping for some sort of Pretty Woman scenario.”

“Sabrina!” Lori snapped, “Would you give that up? I’m not an idiot. I just want to do my own thing for a while. And this is my own thing.”

Sabrina studied Lori’s expression soberly for a long while. But then she nodded, evidently satisfied with what she saw. “All right. I get it. But I think you’re mostly doing it because you’re pissed.”

Lori was pissed. With Phil in particular and with men in general. And, if she wasn’t so pissed, she might not have found the courage to go back to Ander, after the way they’d ended things.

Another bing from her computer alerted her to a new email. This time, when Lori went over to check, she saw Ander’s name in the “From” column.

She exhaled deeply with relief when she saw his response. She’d emailed him yesterday on a random impulse, but when she hadn’t heard back from him as quickly as usual, she’d started to get worried. Maybe he was tired of putting up with her whims. Or, even worse, maybe he was hurt or offended by her dropping his services last month.

She’d never wanted to hurt his feelings. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t have worried, since surely he'd be pleased to get a returning client. But things had been so intense in their last session, and she was still confused about some of it.

“He says he’s free on Monday.”

“This Monday?” Sabrina asked. “I thought he was always booked for weeks in advance.”

“He is.” Lori drew her eyebrows together as she returned to the floor next to Sabrina. It was very strange that he had an available evening so quickly. “He must have had a cancellation.”

As she opened another beer, planning to get significantly tipsier by the end of the night, Lori felt a twitter in her belly.

She was excited about seeing Ander again. She’d missed him more than she’d expected, and she kept getting the unprovoked urge to tell him things and hear his response. But she was also nervous.

For a while, she’d thought she’d gotten to know Ander pretty well. She’d thought she had a handle on his personality.

But their last couple of encounters had taught her that there were depths to Ander she’d never plunged. There were truths hidden in his soul she’d not yet begun to explore.

And she had no idea what to expect from him on Monday night.

***

Lori pulled on her lavender cashmere set after her bath on Monday—the same thing she’d worn to her first engagement with Ander several months ago. The outfit was familiar, and the soft tank and pajama pants were cozy and comfortable.

But it didn’t soothe the nervous jitters in her belly.

She was on her second glass of wine when she heard the knock at the hotel room door. She took three deep breaths as she walked over. But then, when she swung the door open, she felt an unexpected flare of warmth at the sight of Ander standing in the doorway. Just as he always had.

This evening, he wore a charcoal gray suit and a black shirt without a tie. He was smooth, handsome, and sophisticated. To her infinite relief, he wasn’t smiling that horrible fake smile.

He wasn’t smiling at all. He just looked at her with an expression of quizzical scrutiny. He was fully composed, though. Whatever deep emotion had been eating at him the last time they’d met had been fully reined in and controlled.

All of which was very reassuring.

Lori gave him a sheepish smile. “Hi. I changed my mind.”

The corner of Ander’s mouth gave a tiny twitch. So slight she almost didn’t catch it. “So I see.”

She let him into the room, and they walked over to the round table next to the window. “I hope that’s all right,” Lori said, perching on the edge of one of the chairs.

“It’s not a problem for me.” His blue-gray eyes were still scanning her face, as if he were trying to dig something out of her expression.

“I just feel kind of bad about it. Going back and forth like this.”

Ander shook his head, his lips giving another twitch. “Do you really think I expect a commitment from my clients? That’s the whole point of using my services.”

He seemed sincere. There was no trace of angst in his eyes or his expression. In fact, she thought she saw a glint of amusement. It was something she never would have expected.

She frowned. “Are you laughing at me?”

“Of course not.”

“I’m not really wishy-washy,” she explained. “My circumstances have changed.”

“I suppose that means you dumped your boyfriend.”

Lori gave a little sniff. “He wasn’t my boyfriend. But I would have dumped him, I’m sure.”

Ander’s eyes widened. “He dumped you?”

She couldn’t help but experience a quiver of pleasure at the faint astonishment in his voice. It was nice that someone thought she was capable of holding onto a man. “He was an asshole.”

“Clearly. It was very wise of you to get rid of him as quickly as you did.”

“Exactly,” Lori said with a resolute nod.

Ander’s mouth twitched again.

So did Lori’s.

As simple as that, they fell back into their comfortable, companionable interaction. She’d been horribly afraid that tonight would be awkward or uncomfortable. Or tense and confrontational like their conversation in the elevator.

But it was like nothing had happened between them at all.

Contrarily, a tiny part of Lori missed the intensity coiled inside of Ander after the fundraiser last month. Missed the urgency with which he’d looked at her, touched her, fucked her.

But that was absurd. This laidback sociability was much easier to deal with. And she was pretty sure she would have chickened out if she’d been confronted with any uncomfortable urgency or bewildering angst this evening.

Remembering her manners, she stood up and poured Ander a glass of wine. He accepted it with thanks and sat down in the second chair.

“I wasn’t expecting you to have an opening in your schedule so soon,” Lori said, interested in his availability and also just wanting to make conversation.

Ander hesitated as he sipped his wine. Then he finally said, “I’ve been cutting back a little.”

Lori’s eyes widened. “On your clients, you mean? Why is that?”

His lips tightened and Lori recognized the shuttered expression. She recognized it very well.

Before he could fob her off with some piece of nonsense, she said, “I ask a lot of questions. I can’t help it. That’s who I am. But don’t get all tense and closed off if I ask something you don’t want to answer. Just tell me to shut up.”

To her relief, Ander’s expression relaxed. “Understood.”

She wasn’t sure why, but she kind of liked the idea that Ander wasn’t seeing as many clients as he used to. She clearly remembered how much she’d disliked seeing him with Sarah at the fundraiser. “I suppose being a male escort might not be a line of work you want to continue indefinitely. Have you ever thought about switching careers?”

He nodded slowly, his eyes resting on the bed across the room. “Occasionally.”

It wasn’t much of an answer, and it didn’t tell her nearly as much as she wanted to know. But at least he hadn’t told her to shut up. She wanted to push him on this issue, but she made herself hold back. Instead, she moved over to the bed with her wine and stretched out, making herself comfortable since she was pretty sure now she’d want to have sex later on.

She said in a light drawl, “You know what you should be? A sex therapist.”

Obviously taken by surprise, Ander gave an inelegant snort over the rim of his wine glass. “Excuse me?”

“A sex therapist. Just think about how good you were with helping me out. People would line up for sessions from you.”

For a moment, Lori held her breath—unsure of Ander’s reaction. It could have gone either way. But then his lips twitched. “There would be an appalling sort of irony to that career choice.”

She grinned. “Or you could do what I suggested before. Do seminars and webinars with instructions on how men can better please women.” Thinking about Phil, her expression transformed into a bitter scowl. “They definitely need the advice.”

Ander arched one eyebrow. “Any particular disappointing experience you'd like to share?”

“Shut up.” Although she’d fixed her scowl on Ander now because of his smug smirk, she wasn’t really annoyed with him. She felt a ridiculous urge to giggle. “Oh, I know! You should write a book.”

Ander shook his head with wry amusement. “If you’re going to suggest I write romance novels—”

“No, no,” she interrupted. “Although I’m sure you’d probably write good ones. I mean you should write a non-fiction book on all you’ve learned about women. It would be a best-seller.”

“The Confessions of a Male Hooker?”

His voice was still amused but she didn’t like the note of bitterness she detected. “Not like that. I suppose your former profession could be a marketing ploy, but I mean more like a how-to book. I’m serious. You really should write up all the wisdom and insight you have about women and relationships.”

“Wisdom and insight?” Faint skepticism was etched on his handsome features.

Lori straightened up on the bed, frowning at him in annoyance. “How can you be so smug one minute and then so completely oblivious the next? You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. And I’ve never met anyone with the kind of experience with human nature you’ve had. I’m not saying it’s a blessing or that it didn’t come with a price. But you have it. Why not use it?”

His gaze was oddly still. Quiet. “I do use it.”

She made a frustrated noise in her throat. “I meant use it to write a book. Channel it in a different way. I have a lot of contacts in the publishing industry. I can almost guarantee I’d find at least a few editors who’d be interested in giving it a read.”

Ander just looked at her for a full minute, his expression so acutely observant that Lori wanted to squirm. “Are you trying to convert me out of my life of depravity?”

Lori almost sputtered. She hadn’t thought that was what she was doing. She’d just gotten an idea and run with it—the way she always did. “What kind of hypocrite would I be if I was doing that, given how much money I’ve paid you to fuck me? I hope you don’t think I was judging you. I wouldn’t.” She stared down at her wine glass, strangely self-conscious all of a sudden. “You don’t really think I was doing that, do you?”

“Lori,” Ander began, his voice drawing her eyes to his face again. “Sometimes I have no idea what to think of you.”

Not sure whether she’d been complimented or insulted, she gave him a cool glare. “Well, I assure you the feeling is mutual.”

She thought his lip might have given that delicious twitch, but he was still seated in the chair, too far away from the bed to be sure.

“Were you really thinking of leaving the business?” Lori asked at last.

“I never said that. You asked if I ever think about it, and naturally I think about it occasionally.”

“Do you actually find this line of work...satisfying?”

Ander gave a slight shrug. “I’m good at it. I make a lot of money. I set my own terms. I’ve succeeded in...”

When he trailed off, Lori prompted, “Succeeded in what?” Not for the first time, she wondered if Ander was happy. If he was anything close to happy with the life he’d made for himself.

She really didn’t want to judge him—not knowing anything about what had shaped his choices—but she couldn’t imagine that he found life genuinely satisfying allowing his body and even his personhood to be used the way it was.

He shook his head and didn’t answer.

“Was it hard?” Lori asked, letting the questions spill out now that she’d started on the subject she’d been too afraid to ask about before. “The first time, I mean. Was it hard when you started being an escort?”

Ander was silent for a long time as he stared at an empty spot in the air. Then he said, “Shut up, Lori.”

Lori huffed and gave a little flounce of frustration on the bed, but she couldn’t complain or say anything. She was the one who had told Ander to shut her down if she became too nosy.

Watching her pout, Ander chuckled and finished off his wine. He looked a lot more at ease now than he had the last time she’d seen him. She wondered what had changed. What kind of personal resolutions he’d come to. What had allowed him to level off the emotional tension she’d witnessed before.

She still didn’t know what all of that emotional tension last month even meant.

There were far too many things about Ander that she didn’t know. And she realized how much she deeply disliked her ignorance. The curiosity she’d always felt about Ander had, for some reason, intensified into a driving need to know.

But Ander clearly wasn’t going to tell her—not even the most basic of answers.

He just sat there, drinking his wine, still laughing softly to himself.

“What are you laughing at?” she demanded, deciding she was annoyed with him for enjoying her frustration, even as mildly as he was.

“Hasn’t anyone told you no before when you pry into their lives?”

“Yes, but usually I’m able to get around that.” She gave Ander an assessing look, trying to figure out what it would take to get him to open up about his secrets, about all the things he refused to tell her.

Ander just chuckled again, as if he knew exactly what she was plotting and knew she didn’t have a chance of succeeding.

Lori gave a gasp of outrage at his brazen amusement at her expense and impulsively chucked a pillow at him.

It hit him squarely in the chest with a satisfying whoosh.

Ander blinked at her.

Pleased at having taken him by surprise, she threw another pillow at him. This one was aimed even better, and it smacked into his face before flopping in his lap.

Ander made a winded sound and dropped the pillow onto the floor near the first one. “A rather childish entertainment, don’t you think?”

At another time, his dry tone might have smothered her playful impulses, made her feel foolish and young. But she knew he’d pitched his voice to be patronizing on purpose to adjust the playing field in his favor.

She ignored his comment. For the moment she had the upper-hand and she wasn’t about to lose it.

There were six pillows on the bed. She threw another one at him. Again, it connected with his face and he made a huffing sound at the impact.

Then he got to his feet.

Feeling a thrill of excitement, Lori grabbed the other three pillows in preparation.

She hurled another one as he advanced toward the bed. It hit Ander with more force than her other attempts, but her aim wasn’t quite as careful. The pillow hit his groin, making him grunt.

Lori couldn’t hold back a giggle as she prepared for another assault.

To her dismay, Ander caught her next missile and smoothly dropped it into the pile with the others before he reached the side of the bed.

He was smiling now. A new smile. One that was dangerous, almost predatory. It prompted a shudder of excitement along her spine and took her breath away.

She clutched at her last pillow, gripping it desperately as she resisted Ander’s attempts to pull it out of her hands.

“It is unquestionably foolish to begin a battle when you don’t know the full strength of your adversary,” Ander murmured.

“I do know,” Lori insisted, scooting back on the bed a little as Ander loomed threateningly over her.

Then he cheated. He absolutely cheated. He grabbed her ankle and brushed his fingers lightly over the sole of her bare foot.

Her ticklish instinct triggered, she squealed and jerked her foot away.

While she was distracted, Ander smoothly pulled the pillow from her loosened grip.

“Hey!” She stared in mute outrage as Ander added the final pillow to his stash by the table.

Now he had all the pillows. And she didn’t have any.

“That was a cheap shot,” she gritted out, sizing up his position and the distance to the pile of pillows.

“I told you. Without full knowledge of your adversary, you’ll invariably lose the battle.” He smiled at her again, that same predatory smile that seemed almost more natural to him than his ironic one. Until now, she’d never known this side of Ander even existed. “You have no idea how low I’ll stoop to win a challenge.”

It only took Lori a moment to figure out what to do. “You’re right. Well played.” She beamed at him, using her broad, sunny smile in the hopes that it would put him off his guard.

He didn’t drop his guard, but, as he gazed down at her, she saw a brief expression in his eyes that was just a little softer than usual.

So she acted.

She reached out and grabbed his crotch, taken aback when she felt he was slightly hard. Pushing past that distraction, she squeezed him there—making sure not to genuinely hurt him.

When he grunted, she slipped past his looming figure and made a dash for the pillows.

She’d almost reached them when she felt a strong arm wrap around her middle, heaving her up until she was slung over one of his shoulders like a bag of grain.

She howled in outrage and flailed her arms and legs. To no avail. Ander’s arm was unyielding as he braced her in position until he reached the bed and unceremoniously dumped her back onto the mattress.

Gasping, flushed, and more excited than was entirely reasonable, Lori said by way of explanation, “You’re not the only one who will stoop low to win.”

“Evidently.”

“That’s what you get for tickling me.” She stuck out her chin to show her determination and her unwillingness to be cowed by his stalking intimidation.

He stood next to the bed and stared down at her. He’d gotten tenser and the feral, dangerous look was even stronger in his eyes. Every muscle in Lori’s body tightened as she waited in breathless expectation.

She knew he was going to do something. But she had no idea what he would do.

Then he did it.

He grabbed her ankle again and started to tickle her foot. Lori squealed and squirmed, but she couldn't free herself. Ander was relentless as his strong, skillful hands worked over one foot and then the other. And then started traveling up her calves to the sensitive spots at the back of her knees, pushing up her cashmere pants as he went.

Lori writhed on the bed, overcome with gasping laughter and merciless torment. She tried to resist, tried to pull away and fight his hands. But Ander was as good at tickling as he was at everything else. She was helpless, at his mercy, as his hands moved up to tickle her belly and sides.

He was leaning over her now, and Lori was practically screaming with both delight and agony. Her legs hung off the bed, and she tried to get her feet on the floor to give herself some leverage. But Ander adjusted against her strategy, using the weight of his body to hold her in place.

His hands had moved under her tank so he could tickle her bare skin. Lori wriggled and arched and squirmed beneath him. She gasped out, “Oh God, Ander! Oh God! Ander!”

Ander was hot and strong and substantial above her, and, in the blur of her tickle-induced haze, she caught a glimpse of an expression on his face that was half-militant and half-warm.

It was the warmth in his eyes more than the militancy that shifted the nature of her physical sensations. She couldn’t stop squirming. Couldn’t stop rocking beneath the weight of his lean, firm body. Couldn’t stop panting and choking out his name.

But the stimulation had somehow transformed into something just as delicious, just as torturous, but it didn’t make her laugh.

She arched her spine, shamelessly trying to rub her breasts against his chest. Her arms flew back above her head so she could fist her hands in the bedding. “Ander,” she gasped, a jolt of deep arousal slicing through her.

He didn’t miss a beat. Just pushed her tank top up even farther and leaned down enough to take one of her breasts in his mouth.

Lori moaned as he suckled her nipple, and his hands started to caress and fondle her sides, belly, hips and thighs rather than sustaining the tickle-assault.

His mouth and hands felt so much better on her body than Phil’s had. And it wasn’t just because he was more skillful. It seemed natural to feel Ander above her, feel his lips on her breast, his hands on her bare skin, stroking secret parts of her no one else had ever touched.

Her legs still hung over the side of the bed, so she tried to wrap them around Ander’s body. He was wearing far too many clothes, but she didn’t want to take the time to get rid of them. She rubbed her hot arousal against the bulge she felt in Ander’s pants, only a few layers of fabric between her flesh and his.

“Ander,” she rasped, tossing her head back and forth with a desire that was quickly spinning out of control. “Condom. Now.”

He pulled his head from her breast and released one of her thighs. He stared at her for a minute, his eyes hot and oddly unfocused. Then he pulled off her cashmere pants and stood up for just long enough to grab a condom from his case and rip it open.

He fumbled with his pants and boxers until he’d freed his cock. Then he rolled on the condom and moved back into the position he’d taken before, braced above her, half off the bed.

She’d parted her legs for him, but he pushed her thighs further apart before he slid two fingers into her entrance to check her readiness. She was wetter than she thought was possible after so little foreplay. Her breath hitched as he fucked her with his fingers for a minute, curling them up to rub against her g-spot.

“Ander,” she begged, clutching at the bedding. “Please.”

He was still wearing most of his clothes, and his flushed, tense face above his expensive shirt and suit was the hottest thing she’d ever seen.

His thumb found her clit and he massaged it until the tremors of an orgasm pulsed through her, making her moan and shudder.

Sucking in air as she came down, she started to claw at Ander’s ass, trying to move him into position, still hungry for more. He adjusted his body to align his cock at her entrance.

Then, with a pitch of his hips, he pushed his cock inside her.

She arched up again as he entered her. She was tight from nearly a month without sex.

“Fuck,” he muttered. He was bracing himself with his hands on the bed, and his face had jerked to the side.

She wanted him to look at her again. Wanted to see the expression in his eyes. “All right?” she managed to ask.

He straightened his neck and opened his eyes. Made a sound that might have been a choked laugh. “Yeah. You ready?”

“Yeah.” When he made his first long thrust, she parted her lips and stretched her neck with pleasure. “Oh yeah.” He thrust again, and she dug her fingers into the clenched muscles of his ass. “Oh yeah.”

They fucked like that, only halfway on the bed, and Lori loved it. Her body grew hotter and more urgent with every one of Ander’s hard thrusts, and her panting transformed into little sobs of pleasure as they rocked together and shook the bed.

She fumbled at his ass and his back, trying to pull him deeper inside her. She’d wrapped her legs around his hips and she kept trying to get them higher up his back so she could feel even more of him. Get him deeper.

His body was blazing hot and sweating beneath his clothes, and his own uneven breathing turned into rhythmic guttural sounds—almost like grunts—every time he pushed inside her.

“Oh God,” she choked. “Oh Ander.” Her whole body had started to shake and waves of heat bombarded her.

The speed of his rutting intensified and he was so tense she could see the tight sinews in his neck.

“Gonna come. You come too.” She clawed at his bare ass, knowing she was marking him, wanting to mark him. Then her whole body arched back and her mouth opened in a silent scream of pleasure.

Her inner walls clamped down around Ander’s cock and he fell out of rhythm too. With a few last grunts, he pushed against her clenching. Then his cock pulsed, his whole body pulsed, as he climaxed on a choked word.

His breathing was fast and sloppy as his elbows buckled and his body collapsed briefly on hers.

She clung to him for the few moments he remained on top of her, holding him with her arms and her legs.

Then he heaved himself up with a groan. “Got to get the condom,” he muttered, holding it in place as he pulled out of her before his cock softened fully.

Lori was sore and her muscles felt overly stretched, but as she scooted back fully onto the bed and got under the covers, she felt ridiculously satisfied.

Ander was right about what he’d said in the elevator last month. Why should she over-complicate this? She paid Ander good money. And he gave her good sex. They got along just fine, and she liked to spend time with him.

Her only regret was that Ander had won the pillow fight.

Ander stayed in the bathroom a little longer than usual but not as long as he had that night she returned from Hong Kong.

She realized, as he walked back into the room fully naked, that they’d stopped turning the lights off at some unspecified point over the past few months. She could see Ander’s lean, nude body as clear as day as he made his way over to her side of the bed and bent over to pick up his boxers.

He had broad shoulders, a tight abdomen, long legs and a trim, gorgeous ass. His butt was exposed to her as he pulled his boxers on, so she had an excellent view of the firm cheeks and trim flanks. And the angry red marks crisscrossing his fair skin from her fingernails.

She stifled a snicker at this evidence of how vividly she’d marked him, and she pulled the sheet and comforter up to her armpits. She wasn’t wearing anything except her cashmere tank, and her body wasn’t perfectly chiseled for public appreciation the way Ander’s was.

Ander gave her a questioning look as he returned to the bed and got under the covers beside her. “What?”

She must not have hid her snicker very well. “Nothing.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“I’m not. Not really. I was just looking at those scratches I made on your ass. Sorry about that.”

With a half-shrug, he replied, “No big deal.”

“I didn’t realize I scratched you that hard. They don’t hurt, do they?”

“Not much. Don’t worry about it. At least it wasn’t my head.” His mouth quirked into a smile. “Although you were rather enthusiastic.”

His tone was light and teasing, but Lori’s cheeks burned painfully. She had been enthusiastic. More than enthusiastic. She’d been almost frantic in her need to get him inside her. She’d liked the feeling at the time, but now she was embarrassed by her brazenness, her almost childish eagerness.

“What’s the matter?” Ander asked, studying her face. He tried to meet her eyes but she avoided his gaze.

“Nothing.”

“Lori.” Ander’s voice held an edge of warning, the way Sabrina’s always did when Lori was being foolish.

“Fine,” Lori relented with a scowl. “I’m just embarrassed.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. It’s not rational. It’s just that the world seems to think that being cool and collected is the way to go. And I can never manage to be that way, no matter how hard I try. I just get too excited about things. And this sex stuff is still pretty new to me, and you made it sound like I...like I ...” She trailed off, not sure how to articulate her uncomfortable feeling.

“Like you what?” Ander had turned onto his side and was watching her with a frown.

“Like I was overly eager or something.” The flush on her cheeks deepened and she couldn’t look him in the eye. She wished she’d never brought the ridiculous subject up. “Never mind. It’s just a stupid feeling. I know it’s silly.”

“Yes,” Ander said slowly. “It is.”

She gasped and cut her eyes back to glare at him.

He just lifted his eyebrows. “Surely you know better than to think being enthusiastic in bed is a turn-off.”

When he put it that way, her embarrassment did sound pretty silly. But still... “No need to be snotty about it,” she huffed.

Ander just chuckled and changed the subject. “So have you been practicing with your vibrator?”

It seemed a perfectly natural transition to Lori so she answered easily. “Yes. I’ve been doing pretty well, I think. Thanks for getting it for me and helping me with it.”

“You’re welcome.” Ander stretched his long body, as if he were trying to make himself more comfortable. “So your boyfriend was a disappointment in bed?”

Had Lori been thinking about it, she might have noticed that there had been no real segue to this question. But she was feeling relaxed and satisfied again, and she didn’t notice anything odd about it. “He wasn’t my boyfriend. We never got that far.” At Ander’s puzzled look, she clarified, “We never got far enough for him to be my boyfriend. And, actually, we never got as far as bed.”

“I see. He was one of those. Sloppy sex in the back of a car?” Ander asked, his voice dry and teasing.

“No!” Lori’s tone was outraged, but she was more amused than anything else. “We never had sex at all.”

Her quivering smile faded as she thought about Phil and how he’d made her feel. She shook her head ruefully. “Evidently, that was the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t put out soon enough for him, so he found someone younger and hotter.”

“What?” Ander’s question wasn’t loud, but the understated astonishment in his voice was once again comforting.

“So you think it’s bad too, don’t you?” Lori asked, meeting his eyes earnestly. “I mean, you don’t think it’s acceptable for a guy to treat me like trash just because I didn’t fuck him on the third date.”

For a moment, Ander’s jaw was tense and a little muscle flickered in his cheek. Then his face relaxed and he turned to give her a small shake of his head. “Sounds like you picked out an asshole for yourself.”

Lori giggled, feeling absurdly better about the whole thing now that Ander had so matter-of-factly sentenced Phil to the same level of hell she and Sabrina had. “That’s what I say.”

When she glanced over at Ander, she caught him scanning her face with obvious scrutiny. “What?” she demanded.

“You hadn’t really fallen for the asshole, had you?” His tone was casual, nonchalant, and it didn’t quite match the urgent searching of his eyes.

“No. I really hadn’t. I mean, I felt like crap after he dumped me. But I was mostly humiliated. I really thought he had potential so I felt so stupid afterwards. And it did hurt. I’ve always felt ...” Her words had spilled out unthinkingly, but she cut herself off when she realized what she was about to say.

“You’ve always felt what?”

Lori closed her eyes. She had no intention of opening up about this, but she heard herself saying the words anyway. “I’ve always felt second-best. You know, always in the shadow of someone else. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I was in love with a guy all through high school and college who didn’t love me back. And this thing with Phil kind of made me feel that way again. Like I was being stupid for expecting the hot guy to fall in love with me.” Her voice cracked a little as she concluded, “I guess I keep waiting for someone to choose me, to want me, over all the other women he could have.”

The hotel room was silent as she finished, and she darted nervous eyes over to Ander. His expression was quiet, reflective, and it made Lori burn with self-consciousness again.

What the hell was she thinking? Spilling her guts like that.

He must think she was a needy, foolish girl.

Ander didn’t speak immediately, and Lori couldn’t think of anything to say. She squirmed restlessly, trying to talk herself back into the comfortable familiarity she’d felt earlier this evening.

She was just on the verge of back-pedaling when Ander finally spoke.

“There was a woman who was a business associate of my father’s. She was about ten years older than me, but she’d been making moves on me since I was eighteen.”

Lori blinked, disoriented at first with the change of subject. Ander lay on the bed beside her with his hands crossed behind his head. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and there was no trace of emotion on his face.

She realized he was answering her question from earlier that evening—about his first time as a male escort. Maybe her confession, her making herself vulnerable, had opened the door for him as well.

“After my dad and I got into our ten-millionth fight, I swore I’d have nothing more to do with him. I kept my word. I’d been working on an MBA, but I dropped out of school, and I would no longer use any of his money or resources. I bummed around for almost a year, living with friends and doing nothing constructive. And this woman kept making moves on me. I wasn’t interested. She wasn’t my type and I didn’t like her connections to my dad. Then she offered me five-thousand dollars to go on a date with her.”

Ander’s voice was dry and matter-of-fact, and his features were so calm they were almost stoic. “I accepted. I didn’t have a job and I had no money of my own. I took her to dinner, then a cocktail party, then back to her place where I fucked her. I lived for a month on one night’s work.”

Lori’s heart was racing for some reason, and she couldn’t seem to take a full breath. But she kept her voice natural, not wanting to make a big deal about the fact that he’d opened up for the first time. “Did your father know about it?”

“Oh yeah. I made sure he knew. It seemed so easy to me. Take women out. Make money doing it. This woman had a lot of friends, so I got referrals from the very beginning. Gradually, I made a whole business out of it.”

“Was it hard?” Lori asked, keeping her voice as light as possible. “That first time?”

“No.” Ander shifted his eyes over to meet her gaze, although he only held it for a few seconds. “It really wasn’t. I was angry and...and determined. I’m not saying it wasn’t hard at...other times. But the first time wasn’t. At all.” He gave a bitter laugh. “It didn’t take long for my father to disown me completely.”

“He knows you still do this?”

“Yes. He pretends not to recognize my existence. But he knows.”

As she gazed over at Ander in the artificial light of the room, she thought for a moment that he looked incredibly young. Which was ridiculous. He was seven years older than she was, and he’d had more than one lifetime’s worth of experience already.

But he looked young. Like a boy. Like a boy who still wanted his father to love him.

She moved instinctively, without planning ahead or thinking her actions through. She just raised herself up on her elbows and leaned over toward where his head was resting on a pillow.

Then her lips found his. Pressed against them in a soft, brief kiss.

It all felt perfectly natural until Ander’s breath caught audibly in his throat. His body jerked slightly and he stared at her in astonishment, his blue-gray eyes wide and bewildered.

Lori blushed hotly and pulled away.

“What’s going on?” Ander asked, his voice slightly breathless.

Lori felt breathless too. “I don’t know,” she admitted sheepishly. “I just...just felt like kissing you. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Ander’s shock had subdued and he was looking more like himself, quiet and watchful as his eyes scanned her face. “I told you from the beginning we could kiss if you wanted to. I just thought you didn’t want to pretend.”

“I don’t. I still don’t want to pretend anything. I don’t know why I did that.” Lori was still propped up beside him, looking down at him, but she wished she’d never started this whole thing. She was nervous, confused, and self-conscious, and she didn’t like feeling that way.

Ander’s eyes never left her face. “We’ve never done it before, so maybe you were just curious.”

It wasn’t the truth, but it was a good excuse, so Lori wasn’t about to object. “Yeah.”

“Do you want to try kissing?” Ander asked. “If it feels unnatural, we don’t have to do it. It’s entirely up to you.”

Lori stared down at his sober face, deep eyes, and gracefully curved lips. She did want to try—just to see what it was like. But she was suddenly so nervous she couldn’t make herself move.

“Lori?” Ander prompted. He hadn’t moved. Not a muscle. He lay perfectly still and watched her. Waited.

Her body moved of its own accord and she scooted closer to him. Leaned down so her mouth was just a whisper away from Ander’s. Her heart was pounding so loudly she could hear it, feel it in her head, in her fingertips, in her lips.

There was no rational reason for her to be so hesitant and anxious about a kiss. But she felt frozen in place, breathing unsteadily and shaking a little.

“Just try it, Lori,” Ander said, his voice a little thick. She could feel his breath on her skin. “Kiss me.”

Then suddenly she was kissing him. She didn’t know who had closed the gap between their mouths. She didn’t remember moving, but Ander’s lips were suddenly pressed against hers.

With a choked sound, she grabbed his bald head with one of her hands. A thrill of excitement and arousal ripped through her as her mouth moved eagerly against his.

He slid his tongue against the line of her lips in a questioning exploration. When she opened for him, his tongue dipped inside, teasing and stroking with both hunger and confidence.

Then Ander turned them over on the bed so he was on top. One of his hands cradled the back of her head as the kiss grew deeper and more intense.

Lori clutched at his head with both hands, feeling the tight skin of his scalp with her fingertips. Her whole body rocked up into his as their lips and tongues danced and dueled. He was so hot it felt like he was branding her—on her lips, all over her body.

She whimpered against his mouth and breathed desperately through her nose, until he finally pulled away and collapsed back on the bed beside her.

Lori panted hotly—aroused, exhilarated, and terrified.

“How did you like it?” Ander asked. She was glad to hear that he sounded rather breathless and his voice was a little hoarse.

“Um.”

“If it feels fake or unnatural to you, we don’t have to do it. It’s up to you.”

“Um.”

“Sometimes it’s nice to do something different, but we can do whatever you want.”

“Um.”

Ander’s eyes finally found and held hers. “Well? What did you think?”

Lori swallowed hard. “Wow. You’re really good at that.”

Something softened almost imperceptibly in Ander’s face. “Should we try it again?”

Lori would be a sorry fool not to try something that good again. Why the hell hadn’t she been kissing him all along?

Feeling a surge of deep desire, she rolled back over and grabbed his head once more. Then she kissed him hard and deep.

His arms came up around her immediately, and he helped pull her into position on top of him. She sprawled over his warm, lean body and couldn’t seem to stop kissing him.

This time, she used her tongue more actively, trying to match the skillful motion of his. She stroked his smooth scalp and felt a jolt of sharp pleasure when he moaned softly at the back of his throat.

While they kissed, his hands were busy. He caressed down her spine and then moved lower to her thighs and bottom, where he fondled and groped with intimate entitlement.

Breaking off the kiss for a minute so she could recoup and catch her breath, she slid one of her hands down past his chest and belly until she could feel his erection through his boxers. The silk was thin and slippery, and she squeezed his hard flesh through the fabric.

She heard his breath hitch and figured it must be a good thing. She hadn’t quite evened out her own breathing when Ander took her head in his hands and pulled her down into another kiss. His fingers tangled in her hair as he teased her mouth open once more with his tongue. She kept massaging his cock as they kissed, loving how firm and substantial he felt beneath her hand and how his body kept tightening with each squeeze.

Soon, she got lost in the embrace. Her body did what it wanted to do, which was rub against his and try to suck his tongue into her mouth. She felt his hands move down to her cashmere tank. She hazily thought he must be trying to pull it off of her, but she wouldn’t release him enough to let him do so.

Eventually, he gave up and instead moved her hips away so he could free his cock from his boxers. Their lips broke apart as he reached for a condom. Then he helped her into position as she straddled his pelvis and sank down, sheathing his erection with her wet heat.

She started to ride him the way she knew how, but after a few minutes he guided her upper body down against his and claimed another kiss.

She had no objections. She didn’t have much freedom of motion, sprawled over him in this position, but she didn’t care. He felt full and hard inside her, and the slight friction of their rocking together was delicious. She could get some good stimulation on her clit from his pelvic bone, and she started to moan and huff against his mouth as the pressure of an orgasm developed between her legs.

Her head was spinning. The whole world was spinning. And it felt like Ander would eat her alive, swallow her whole.

She jerked her head to the side as her body clenched up, just on the verge of shattering. She whimpered and panted, twisting her hips to get more stimulation from the penetration of Ander’s cock against her slick inner walls.

Then she came, her body writhing clumsily on top of his as the spasms of pleasure sliced through her.

Ander grunted and his hips bucked up with short jerks against her groin. His fingers dug into the flesh of her ass. “Lori?” he rasped, his face twisting briefly.

As she came down from her orgasm, she realized what he was asking. “You come too,” she said hoarsely. “Come, Ander. Come.”

Her intimate muscles were tight and they felt tighter as Ander pushed and thrust into her from below.

Then she felt his hot, wet mouth at the hollow of her neck. Then she felt his teeth.

He bit down hard as he climaxed, and Lori cried out in surprised release, coming again unexpectedly from the mingling of pleasure and pain.

Their bodies twitched and rocked and softened as the waves of orgasm finally faded.

She was hot and sweaty, and so was Ander. She panted desperately against his shoulder and neck, while he panted desperately against hers.

After a minute, he heaved himself up and pulled out of her the way he always did. As his cock slid out, her body resisted. Her inner walls seemed to clutch at his cock, and she felt a raw sensation as he finally slid out.

When he returned from disposing of the condom, she really wanted him to get back into bed. He looked warm, relaxed, and sated. Almost irresistible. She wanted to cuddle a little. To be held, hugged, cherished.

She wasn’t completely delusional, though. This was one of the consequences of going about sex the way she had. Without a deep emotional connection, there would always be something lacking. She figured she could manage to kiss him while they fucked without losing her sense of perspective. But pretending to snuggle afterwards would definitely be going too far.

So she told him he could take a shower if he wanted. And she was feeling more herself when he reemerged, composed and fully dressed in his charcoal gray suit.

He sat down in a chair and met her eyes as she lounged in the bed. “So what did you think? Did it feel too unnatural, like you were pretending?”

She hadn’t expected the question so she had no choice but to answer him honestly. “No. I wasn’t pretending at all. I mean, it didn’t feel fake. I liked it. It felt like a natural part of sex that I’d been missing out on before. Was it weird for you?”

“Of course not.” He pulled his smartphone out of his case. “Do you want to schedule some other engagements this month?”

“Yeah. Why don’t we? When do you have available?”

“When were you thinking?”

Lori blinked in confusion. “I usually just take your earliest opening. When are you next free?”

“I have Friday available.” Ander was clicking on his smartphone, like he was looking through his appointments.

“This Friday?” Lori’s voice squeaked a little. “That soon? Aren’t you booked up?”

Ander’s face looked oddly still for a moment. “I told you I’m cutting back a little.”

“Oh. Yeah. Friday is good. And maybe sometime next week. I’m going to be in Quebec for the weekend the week after that, so we’ll have to work around the trip.”

They set up a few more sessions and then Ander got up to leave. Lori handed him the envelope of cash, and he didn’t even glance at it. Just slid it into his pocket.

She pulled on her cashmere pants before she walked him to the door. She felt a little shy as she smiled and said goodbye. She didn’t know why she suddenly felt bashful, but it had something to do with the way he looked at her when he opened the door. Almost questioning. And strangely sweet.

“I’ll see you on Friday,” he said, lingering in the hall outside the door.

She smiled again, still ridiculously shy. “Yeah. I’m looking forward to it.”

“I’m glad you changed your mind. About scheduling engagements with me.”

Something softened in her chest at his slightly stilted words. Maybe it was relief she felt. She was so glad that he seemed to enjoy his engagements with her. Obviously, this wasn’t some sort of fated romance, but at least she was a little more to him than just a job.

He seemed to like her well enough, and he didn’t mind having sex with her. She felt like that was quite an accomplishment, given her complete lack of experience.

“Me too.”

She watched him walk down the hall to the elevator. Lean, upright, sleek, and urban. Infinitely experienced. And somehow wounded.

She would see him again on Friday. Just four days from now. She would get to kiss him again.

She couldn’t wait.