Chase
I kissed down her neck, confused by why I wanted to, confused by why I felt so damn attracted to someone who couldn’t even defend herself with a weapon if she had one in both hands.
Everything about her screamed innocence, from her clothing to the way she carried herself, and yet, such wisdom in her words, in her perceptiveness, that kissing her felt like a balm to my dirty soul.
It felt like the cleansing I’d never wanted but desperately needed.
I licked her lower lip, encouraging her to open up for me. She grabbed the front of my shirt with both hands. I tried not to tense beneath the feel of her fingertips twining around my shirt, tugging me closer, as if she couldn’t get enough and never would. I threw a leg over her small body, straddling her, then dipped my tongue into her mouth, tasting her. Her lips opened wider like she wanted more of me. And I gave.
I massaged my tongue against hers, testing her out, shocked by how smoothly we fit together. Our mouths, neither one fighting for dominance, just existing in a lust-filled haze of want. She responded by arching into me. I almost saw stars. There was nothing this woman wasn’t giving to me.
Nothing.
I should have felt guilt.
But I didn’t.
Because I’d never felt this.
Total surrender.
Emotion shuddered through my body as if I was waking up from a foggy sleep, and with each addicting touch of her small hands on my skin, I felt more and more alive, as if she was shocking me back to life, slamming electricity into my heart, forcing it to beat, even when my brain demanded its silence.
Its utter death.
I growled in frustration, in torment, as I dragged my mouth down her neck and tugged at her shirt, peeling it over her head in a rush of adrenaline and lust. Her lacy black bra barely contained her breasts.
“Are you going to tell me to stop?” I said between breaths, needing her to say no, needing her to push me away more than I needed her to beg me to stay. This wouldn’t end well.
And I was the only one who knew that.
She was fucking a dead man.
I closed my eyes as a fatal bliss stared right back at me, challenging me, beckoning me, even though there would only be death.
Darkness.
No light.
No light.
Never again.
“Only if you tell me you’re going to shoot me later,” she deadpanned, her eyes searching for what I wasn’t willing to give, her body responding regardless of the loss of my heart.
I caught my breath and reached for her bra. She lay back, a look of complete trust in her eyes as she slowly wrapped her hands around mine and pulled it down.
It was sexy as hell.
I never promised her I was good.
And yet she opened up to me.
I ached to taste more.
I leaned down and traced a nipple with my tongue then sucked; my tongue flicked against her pink untouched skin.
Her hips moved.
And then she said it.
“Chase.”
I sucked in a breath, not trusting myself to not lose it, to fall off the deep end as the dark dragged me into the depths of hell.
My name.
I shook my head.
Me.
“Chase,” she said it again, her small hands moving to my chest as she reached for my shirt.
Why was I letting this happen? Why wasn’t I stopping when I swore to myself I’d never slip like this?
Ever again.
But the more she touched.
The deeper I fell.
Over my head.
Both of us were in over our heads.
Two weeks, and I’d be gone, with memories of her tongue on my skin.
I threw off the rest of my shirt and slammed my mouth against hers, picking her up by the ass and pulling her down the bed so I could get a better angle, so I could kiss her deeper, harder. So I could sink into her.
Her kiss devoured me, and with each heated press of her lips, I lost more restraint, more control.
“Chase.”
My name again.
Like a prayer I didn’t deserve.
A prayer no God would ever answer.
“Chase.”
I threw my head back as she gripped my length through my jeans. I moved against her and then flicked open the button.
She hesitated.
I watched indecision war across her full lips, and then she wrapped a hand around my neck and very slowly reached down.
One second.
Two.
Three.
Her fingers felt cold against me. I was so sensitive to her that I ached. Her fingers tightened, not reaching around me by a long shot. I hissed out a curse.
“Shit.” Too long, it had been too long.
Had it ever even been real?
Or felt like this before?
Like I was going to pay for my sins, for taking this, knowing what would happen, taking her without question when I didn’t deserve it, and never would.
When I opened my eyes, she started to slowly pump me with her hand, the girl with the headband and nylons.
I licked my lips and reached for her breasts again, when she pressed her free hand to my chest and very slowly, shoved me to my back.
In a trance, I watched as she pulled my jeans down and then crawled over my body and lowered her head.
What. The. Fuck.
A kiss to the tip was all it took for me to lose my mind, my control. I moved against her lips on instinct, wanting more of the slick heat of her mouth, more of her tongue sucking, swirling.
She spread her palms against the bed, her breasts kissing my legs, rubbing against my thighs as her mouth moved up and down slowly. I tried to make it last; squeezed my eyes shut as I felt my body demand release.
I gripped her head, holding her in place. My breathing was ragged, so close. “Luc—”
She locked eyes with me over my cock and said, “You have nothing to give? Then let me.”
I snapped as she took me deep.
And when I tried to pull away because the feeling was too much, because I was tarnishing her innocence…
She refused to move.
Our eyes locked again.
And I lost control.
Handed it over.
And felt myself orgasm so hard that I was afraid my hips bruised her mouth as I bucked against its heat.
Chest heaving, I stared her down. What the hell just happened?
Her voice was husky as she slowly ran her hands up my chest and then kissed my neck. “See any light, Chase?”
“Stars,” I said groggily. “I saw stars.”
“Told you so.” She yawned and lay against my chest.
I pulled her close as anxiety spread over me.
I was a killer. I would always be a killer.
Broken.
Damned.
But for a few brief minutes, she’d done the impossible.
Given me a shred of humanity and light.
And made me feel like a man.