They were quiet as they dressed in the morning. Quiet as they moved solemnly toward the door. The moment Cas opened it, Merrick’s strong hand clasped around Cas’s wrist. Merrick turned him, pulled Cas into his arms, and their lips met once more. It was slow and deep and full of longing. Their lips and tongues moved together in a gentle goodbye that made Cas ache down to his very soul.

Their lips were red when they pulled apart, and Cassius wished for nothing more than for their destiny to be different…but it was not. It would never be, and wishing would not change it.

He would forever be grateful for the time they shared.

Words were still not needed. They held hands as they walked down the stairs, every other one creaking. They didn’t part until they reached the door because outside this building, they had to return to prince and valet rather than Merrick and Cas.

It was strange that his hand suddenly felt empty without Merrick’s touch. It was as if he had never known what it was like not to hold Merrick.

They stayed quiet as they drove back to Pinewood Castle. With each moment drawing them closer, Cassius’s chest felt more and more hollow, and his world, his heart, more empty.

“Cassius…” Merrick said as Cas parked in front of the castle.

“Please don’t…” Cas replied, his eyes firmly trained forward. He was not strong enough to look Merrick in his eyes. “This must be all. We have no choice.” He could not handle knowing what Merrick would say.

“As you wish,” the prince replied.

Cas exited the vehicle and walked around it to open Merrick’s door. “Your Highness.” He offered Merrick his arm—Prince Merrick. He would be wise to think of him that way again. To try and forget the taste of Merrick’s skin, the way he ached from having the prince inside him.

“Do you require my assistance undressing, Your Highness?” Cas queried when they stepped inside the castle. He silently wished for Prince Merrick to answer with yes and no. He longed to touch him again, to see him again, but knew it would only prolong his pain.

“No, thank you, Cassius.” Prince Merrick’s voice was distant, pained. “I have no pressing appointments tomorrow either. You are free to return home until tomorrow evening, if you’d like.”

Cassius bowed. “Thank you, Your Highness.” But he knew he would not go. He couldn’t. Cassius would not be able to handle his mother’s probing questions about Prince Merrick…not with his heart lying broken in his chest.

“Merrick! Dear Lord, you gave us a fright!” The queen descended the staircase.

Cassius froze for a moment, anger he had no right feeling for his queen surging through him. He forced himself to turn and bow to her. She acknowledged him but was much more concerned with Merrick, whom she scurried away with.

When Merrick reached the end of the hallway, he turned and gave Cas one more painful look…and then disappeared.

Cassius went to his room, never having felt so alone in his life.

* * *

Time did not stop, though Cassius felt as if his world had. One day turned into two and then three. Merrick required him as little as possible, but of course, they could not avoid one another altogether. He was Prince Merrick’s valet…his servant.

They were kind but short when they spoke to one another. They talked as prince and valet should, and Cassius greatly missed Merrick’s smile, his teasing ways, and hearing him discuss with optimism how he saw the world.

The castle lived and breathed nothing but the ball, as it was only in a few days’ time. The queen spoke excitedly of ladies who would attend, sharing who she was fond of, and one time in Cassius’s presence, asked the prince’s thoughts.

Cas tensed but didn’t allow himself to lock eyes with his prince. He wasn’t sure he could contain himself if he did. He wasn’t sure if he could look into the eyes of the man he loved as he spoke of another.

The truth was, Cassius did not know if he could continue to be under royal employ at all. It felt as if his soul was tortured each time he laid eyes upon his prince with the knowledge that Merrick would never again be his.

That he never truly had been.

There was a knock on his chamber door, which he ignored. Another moment passed, and then, “Cas?” in Valor’s soft voice, a softness he did not usually carry in his tone.

“Come in,” Cassius replied because he knew his friend would not go away. He had been watching Cas intently from the moment they returned days prior.

Valor entered the room, then closed the door behind him. “You are quiet,” he said.

“I am always quiet.”

“You are quieter than you usually are.”

Cassius looked toward the floor as he continued to sit on the edge of his bed. He did not try to hide his melancholy or the heavy sorrow that hung around him like a noose.

Valor sighed and then sat beside Cassius on the bed. “You are besotted with him?” Valor asked.

He did not argue. At this point, he could not, and he knew Valor would take his admission to his grave. “I love him.” The words were both difficult and easy to say—difficult because love did not matter to anyone other than Cas and Merrick, yet easy because it was his purest truth.

“And he loves you?” Valor continued.

“He did not say the words, but I can feel it in my bones.” At least, he hoped this feeling in his chest wasn’t one-sided.

“Fucking hell, Cas. The prince of Evergreen fell in love with you? If you were not so brokenhearted, my friend, I would clap you on the back and tell you I was in awe of your skill.”

Despite the pain deep inside him, Cassius smiled. It meant the world to him that his friend was not one who would ever look down upon Cas for who he loved.

But then the reality of their situation drowned out his happiness again. “It was not a game.”

“I know. And I truly am sorry.”

“You will not say you told me so?” Cassius turned to look at him.

“No, my friend.” He squeezed Cassius’s knee. “I won’t. I am not proud of being right in this situation. I wish…I wish this world were a different place. I would be honored to publicly serve a prince who was smart enough to see what a good man you are.”

Cassius closed his eyes as he fought back tears. He didn’t want to cry; he didn’t want to cry with his truest friend other than Merrick. But then…if he could not be true to his feelings with Valor, where could he be?

So Cassius let go in a way he could not have allowed himself in front of Merrick. Not because he could not be open in front of his prince, but because he hadn’t wanted to hurt Merrick more than the prince was already pained. Knowing he caused Cassius such sadness would wreck his prince even more.

Valor wrapped an arm around Cassius’s shoulders and allowed him to mourn. He had not cried with anyone when his father died, when he had to leave his family, but he could not hold himself back now.

He didn’t know how long they sat there, friend to friend, as Cassius let go. When he did not have any remaining tears to shed, he wiped his face with his sleeve, and Valor dropped his arm.

“You are the best man I know, Cassius. You are kind and smart and loyal. I am sorry the world does not honor what it should. Why should it matter who you lie with? Who you love?”

Cassius shook his head. “I do not know, my friend. But…thank you. The ball…it will be difficult. I don’t know if I can handle it.”

“You can,” Valor replied. “And I will be there for you, every step of the way.”