Cassius stood outside Merrick’s chamber, unable to move. He could not even put his hand on the knob, could not twist it, could not open the door, and he could not walk in. If he didn’t, this moment wouldn’t be real, would it? Somehow, it would change the fateful destiny that would tear apart his insides and leave nothing of him remaining.

You are being dramatic. It is your wild imagination at work. Nothing shall change the future. Whether you step inside or not, it will move on.

But he wished it would not. Lord, did he wish it.

What had he done to be forced to endure such torture? To have to dress the man he loved for a ball in which he would choose another?

And Merrick…he did not think he could handle seeing his own pain mirrored in his prince’s dark eyes. This would destroy Merrick just as swiftly as it would destroy Cas, only Merrick would feel guilt for it as well—guilt for their positions.

Though Merrick had not used the words that Cassius felt in his heart, he knew Merrick felt them…that Merrick loved him. Speaking the words gave them power, made them real on a new level, and he knew neither of them could allow that.

Cassius inhaled a heavy breath, filling his lungs before exhaling. He ignored the pain that settled deeper in his bones as he knocked and entered Merrick’s chamber.

His prince sat on the edge of his bed, wearing only his undergarments. His eyes faced the ground, his shoulders slumped, sorrow clinging to him with such strength, Cassius could not only see it, he could feel it.

“I do not know if I can do this,” Merrick muttered, and Cassius knew he had to be strong.

“You must. There is no other choice, Your Highness.” He too wished there was.

Cassius went to the closet first. He withdrew the traditional Evergreen clothing that Merrick must wear this evening. This would be new for Cassius—the knickers, waistcoat, boots, and tailcoat with the golden trim. He had never dressed in this way himself, and this would be the first time he dressed Merrick in such things as well.

Once he had the clothing laid out on the bed, he held his hand out for Merrick. A moment, then two passed between them before Merrick latched on. They both gasped as though the touch was electric. It felt electric. And then Merrick stood, and for the first time, his eyes met Cassius’s. They were red, watered with unshed tears that lived inside them both. “I am selfish, I believe. You should not be here, dressing me for this, but I could not bear to say I did not need you. I could not bear not to share this last moment with you. Do you hate me for it?” Merrick asked.

“No, my prince. I do not. I would have come regardless.” Because he too needed this moment. He had already decided he would leave the royal employ after the ball. The bonus would help his family until he could find new work. It was not fair to Merrick, or to the lady he chose, for Cassius to stay around.

Cassius plucked the white dress shirt from the bed. Merrick closed his eyes, and Cassius slipped it over his shoulders, eased one arm in and then the other. With fingers that shook with need, Cas began to button Merrick’s shirt.

His prince opened his eyes. “You tremble.”

“You do as well.”

One after the other, Cassius closed each button. Next, he reached for Merrick’s white knickers…then slowly lowered himself to his knees. Their night at the inn washed over him, a forceful wave that pulled him under…the one time he’d been on his knees for his prince…and he wished to be back there to have that moment again.

Merrick sucked in a breath as Cas lifted one foot and helped him slip his leg inside the knickers, then whimpered when Cas did the same with the second.

Cas stayed on his knees as he snapped the clasp, then looked up, closed his eyes when Merrick cupped his cheek.

His prince did not speak; they did not need words. They just soaked in this moment, their last true moment together with touch and silence and inhaling each other’s scent.

The ache in his chest was too potent to describe. He had never felt such a thing and did not know if he could handle it.

Cassius savored this moment before he forced himself to open his eyes. Merrick looked down at him then and gave Cassius a smile full of sorrow and broken dreams.

He stood, making his prince’s hand drop away. He hurried his way through the remainder of Merrick’s clothing—boots and white tailcoat with gilded embroidery. Then he turned Merrick around and fixed his hair tie.

“I am sorry,” Merrick said with his back to Cassius.

“I am too, Your Highness.”

Merrick did not turn around when Cassius finished and walked toward the door. He had just set his hand upon the knob when Merrick added, “Thank you, Cas…for everything.”

“Thank you, my prince, for the same.”

Without another word, Cassius held his shoulders high and walked from the chamber.

He had just passed Princess Marjorie’s quarters when the door opened quietly. Cassius stopped, grateful no tears had fallen as he turned to bow to the princess. “Your Highness,” he said. The princess’s lady maid had already dressed her in a white ball gown with red and yellow accents, matching Merrick’s.

“Come, Cassius. I need a word,” she replied, making Cassius frown. It was not proper for him to be in the princess’s chamber with her, but it was not proper to deny her either.

“It is about my brother,” she added, and there was no thought involved—Cassius went to her and slipped inside the chamber, and Marjorie shut the door behind them.

“Do you love my brother?” she asked, making Cassius’s heart stop. How was he to answer this question? Merrick trusted the princess. Cas knew they were close. But Merrick had also told him that the princess did not know of the two of them. “You can trust me. There is no one in this world who means more to me than my brother. I want nothing more than his happiness. He…he told me of your sisters. Of Elizabeth and Emily who are made of fire, quite like me, he said.”

The description made Cassius smile. “Hearing those words would bring them great joy, Your Highness, and yes…I do. I did not mean for it to happen. I am not pressuring him. I know of his obligation, and I want what is best for him too.”

When he looked at her, a mischievous smile graced her lips. “That is the answer I hoped to hear, Cassius. Are you going to the ball?”

“No, Your Highness.” He did not think he could handle it, but the truth was, despite the beating it would do to his heart, Cassius would go if he could. He was a glutton for punishment, but he would go to see Merrick again.

“You must go! I…I know it will be difficult, but maybe it will be good for both of you. Closure, as they say?” There was something in the way she spoke that made Cassius feel as if there was more to it than she was sharing. Wishful thinking, no doubt.

“I do not have proper clothing to wear, Your Highness.”

“I have taken care of that for you. My lady maid…she is fond of Valor, yes?”

Cassius’s eyes widened. He did not know Isabella was close enough to Marjorie to share such a thing. “Yes, Your Highness.”

“Isabella left a few moments before you arrived. I sent her with clothing she was to give to Valor for you. You should prepare. I must go now, myself.” Princess Marjorie came to him then, and Cas froze when she kissed his cheek. “Tell me you will come, Cassius?”

His brows pulled together. “Why…why would you do this?” he asked.

“As I said, like your sisters, I am full of fire, and I love my brother above all else. You will go?” she asked again.

Cassius had no choice other than to reply, “Yes, Your Highness. I will. Thank you.” He bowed and then slipped from the room.

* * *

It was a mistake. Cassius knew it was, but he hurried down the grand staircase and then down another floor to the kitchens and past, toward the servants’ quarters.

Isabella and Valor were standing beside his chamber door. Isabella, much like Princess Marjorie, wore a smile that spoke of her excitement, while Valor looked upon him with the same fear that hid in Cas’s chest.

“Come.” Isabella grabbed his wrist and pulled Cassius into the room.

“What did Princess Marjorie say to you?” Cas asked when they were inside.

“That I was to help you get ready, and that we were to make sure you arrived at the ball when the music began—nothing more, nothing less. Now take your clothing off, Cassius.”

“Do you see why I adore her so? She tells me the same thing every night,” Valor said, making Cassius laugh.

It only took a moment for Cas to sober. “I do not know if I should…”

There was a pause, and then Valor’s hand came down on his shoulder and squeezed. “You must, my friend. If you do not, you will spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you had.”

Coming from Valor, the man who had been worried about him with the prince, those words meant everything. “I—”

“You heard the lady, Cas,” Valor interrupted. “Take your clothing off.”

Cas did as he was told.