Markus felt like he wasn’t even in the right dimension. Like he wasn’t standing in the bar of the mansion Lucy and Benji were getting married in. Like his best friends weren’t there. Like he wasn’t in his own body. As his eyes locked with hers, everything was gone; the only thing he could see was her sweet face.

She was stunning.

She had done something to her hair, the ends a sexy butterscotch color that brought out the gold flecks in her eyes. He could still recall the softness of her hair, the way his fingers tangled in it as she would grin down at him or when she was reading and he would mess with her, pulling at her hair and wrapping it around his finger. As she looked away so quickly, he was surprised her glasses stayed on her face. He noticed that she had lost weight too. Something he wasn’t too happy about, but then, she wasn’t his. He had no say in the matter. Her shoulders were thinner, as were her jaw and neck too, and she didn’t have that extra little fluff he had loved.

Had he done that?

Had the stress of his cheating ass made her lose weight?

Was she losing weight for another guy?

Clenching his fists, he blatantly drank her in, which Avery noticed. He knew they were best friends and Avery was by far Team Mekena—hell, he was Team Mekena—but couldn’t she see that he’d never meant for this to happen? Apparently not, because within seconds, Avery was glaring as she whispered something to Mekena. He didn’t care what she said back; he was too busy memorizing everything about her. He wasn’t sure how long it would be until he saw her again, and he couldn’t get enough of her fair skin, how the white of her shirt complemented her dark hair in the most satisfying way. Her pants were high on her waist and so damn fitted that he could see the perfect curve of her ass. For a moment, he wondered if his sweet girl didn’t have panties on.

But as soon as the thought came, he scoffed it away.

Mekena, not wearing panties? That was crazy talk. She was too good. Too sweet. She was exactly the girl Tom Petty sang about in “Free Fallin’.” She was a good girl, and he was sure she loved her mama. Now that song was stuck in his head, awesome, but he was okay with it because it was Mekena’s song. He assumed he was the bad boy in the song who broke her heart. But unlike that guy, he had missed her. He missed her so much he couldn’t stand it. He missed talking to her, listening to her laugh, and touching his lips to hers.

He wasn’t supposed to be with someone like her. Someone so smart and witty, she was way out of his league. He was the dumb jock who was skating headlong into his dreams. She had her whole life calculated out, and all he wanted was to be factored into those numbers. He had been for a little while…until he fucked it all up.

“The whole gang is here. Let’s get a round, Benji should be back in a moment,” Lucy said, pulling Markus’s attention away from Mekena and back to her, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t watching his girl. As she sat on the stool, her back was very stiff, her hands working on the clasp of her clutch. She wanted out of there. She wanted away from him, and he couldn’t be an ounce of mad at that. He didn’t even deserve to breathe the same air as her.

“Stop looking like a shelter dog with no possibility of adoption,” Jace whispered in his direction.

“Jeez, that’s depressing as hell.”

“Which is how you look,” he said under his breath. “Yeah, you fucked up, she hates you. Move on, nothing you can do about it.”

Markus didn’t like that either. He wanted to do something about it. He wanted to fix it, but he didn’t know how. He didn’t even know if there was a way how. How do you apologize for sleeping with your girlfriend’s sister? He didn’t think there was a solution, only a special place in hell for him. Maybe there would be pizza there. Probably not, he’d slept with the girl’s sister.

God, he sucked. “Markus, what’s wrong with you?” Lucy called out, and he looked up, planting a grin on his face.

“Nothing, I’m dead on my feet. Practice kicked my ass.”

“No one’s fault but your own for being the new guy,” Benji said then, joining the group around the small table.

But even with the small table, it felt like Mekena was so far away. Hell, like she was at the bottom of Florida and Markus was at the top. He wanted to talk to her, ask her how she’d been. But she wouldn’t even look at him. She just stared at the table or Avery or whoever was talking to her.

“New guy?” Claire asked, and Markus nodded.

“I got called up,” he said, and Jude let out a whoop before smacking his back.

“Well, hell! Let’s toast to that, screw the people getting married,” he joked, holding his glass up. Everyone followed suit except Mekena.

But maybe it was because she wasn’t drinking.

Or because he was a big pile of poo and she’d rather toast to the dog that was unadoptable. Even Benji was holding his cup of Coke in a toast. Yeah, it was the latter.

“To our adopted brother, a man we are proud to say we wanted and not one we got stuck with, like all these other people. May he kick some ass and take some names. Congratulations, brother. Don’t fuck it up,” Jude said, and everyone laughed as they clinked their glasses together.

“Thanks, guys,” he said after swallowing back the bitter liquid. “I really appreciate that. I’m excited. Nervous, but excited.” Swallowing hard, his gaze chased back to the gorgeous girl with thick, black-rimmed glasses. Looking over at Lucy when he realized everyone was staring, he said, “But, hey, it’s not about me. Let’s toast to the bride and groom.”

Lucy and Benji grinned at each other before holding their glasses up. “I’ve watched a lot of these Sinclairs fall in love, but you guys are by far my favorite.”

“What the hell?” Baylor asked.

He laughed. “Other than Baylor and Jayden,” he teased, and they all laughed. “I strive to be in your shoes, Benji, to find a great girl who keeps me on my toes and whom I can love unconditionally—”

“You’ll just cheat,” he heard. He paused, but he wasn’t sure anyone heard Mekena except Avery and Jace, who looked away awkwardly.

“Yeah, so, congratulations, I’m glad I can be here.”

Clinking their glasses, Benji toasted to Markus. “So are we, brother. Thanks for supporting us.”

Markus slowly drank his beer, his eyes cutting to Mekena, but she didn’t move. Her eyes were narrowed, her breathing a little elevated as she ran her finger along the rim of her glass of soda.

“Markus, have you met Mekena?” Lucy asked, and his eyes jolted to hers. In the periphery, he saw Mekena look up too. Everyone around him except Jude, Claire, and Benji went stiff. As he held his breath, Lucy continued, “She’s our photographer. I think she’s also done Ashlyn’s and Dawson’s pictures too, right?”

“Yup, she’s awesome,” Baylor choked out. “And by the way, Mekena, I think I want to sign up for you to fly out for his three-month photos. It’s next month, would that work for you?”

Thank God for Baylor Sinclair.

Mekena nodded, her eyes meeting Baylor’s. “Of course, I would love to.”

“We’ll pay for everything like last time,” she said, and Mekena nodded.

“That’s great, I will make it work. Just give me a date.”

“Thanks!”

Markus looked nervously to Lucy, just as she nodded in agreement. “We’ll have to set up new family pictures too. Maybe another beach theme since I’m going down to do some work on the Adlers’ pool house.”

“Yeah, you should,” Baylor said, looking back at Markus, relief in her eyes.

“Sounds good to me, just let me know,” Mekena said, taking a long pull of her soda, draining it before setting the cup down. “I hate to be a party pooper, but I’m so tired and it’s gonna be an early morning. So I’ll see everyone in the morning, right? For breakfast?”

“Aw, you should stay!” Lucy complained, but Avery placed a hand on her sister-in-law’s.

“She had a tough day, Luce. Let her go,” she said in almost a whisper, but Markus heard every word.

Reluctantly, Lucy nodded. “Of course, thanks for coming out,” she said, and Mekena hugged her tightly.

“It’s gonna be a beautiful weekend,” she said and then hugged Avery before turning on her heel to head out the side door. When the door shut, Markus let out the breath he had been holding as his heart started to pound at the right rhythm once more. He hadn’t realized how much it would hurt to see her again, which was completely uncalled for since he was the one to hurt her, but he found himself in pain. Pure, red-hot pain. He didn’t want this kind of relationship with her. He didn’t want things to be awkward. He wanted to be able to be around her and not have daggers of hate flying his way.

He wanted her forgiveness.

“Avery, why don’t you go help Benji with the next round?” Lucy said then, stealing his attention from his inner monologue.

Avery shrugged. “Can I touch it if I’m underage?”

She laughed. “If Benji the alcoholic can touch it, you can. Go on.”

Avery giggled as she kissed Jace before walking with Benji toward the bar. Markus wasn’t sure what Lucy was up to until she turned to him, her eyes laser focused. “So, give me the details.”

“Details?” he asked, confused, and when he looked to his so-called brothers, they all but took a step back.

“About you and Mekena. I saw the way everyone froze up when I asked if y’all knew each other, and I didn’t miss the way she ran out of here once the subject was changed.”

“Help?” he asked Jace, and he just laughed.

“No way, you’re on your own.”

He looked to Baylor, but even she shook her head. “No way, she’s been very nice to me. Plus, I already covered for you!”

When he turned back to Lucy, she gave him a knowing look as he cleared his throat. “I really don’t want to talk about this.”

“I don’t care,” she said simply. “She’s my photographer, and you’re one of my brothers, so if it’s bad bad, then I need to kick one of you out.”

He scoffed. “You aren’t kicking her out. She has every right to hate me.”

“Well, I can’t kick you out!” she complained, her eyes filling with worry. “What in the world happened?”

Shaking his head, he let out a long breath as he looked up. “We were dating for a couple months, and then I found myself in bed with her sister.”

Lucy’s eyes widened as her mouth dropped open. Around him, everyone looked embarrassed for him, something he wasn’t proud of, while Claire’s expression matched Lucy’s. “Markus!”

He nodded. “I know. I’m a fucking douche.”

“I don’t believe that for a second,” Claire said then. “You’re so sweet. You get around, but you wouldn’t hurt someone like that.”

“Exactly, this can’t be true. You would never,” Lucy agreed.

“I know. I don’t know what happened,” he said, leaning his elbows onto the table as everyone shifted around uncomfortably. “One minute, Skylar’s trying to get some and I’m denying her. And then the next, I wake up, she’s naked in my bed, and I have a condom on.”

“Ew,” Lucy exclaimed, looking away.

“But the truth is, Skylar has been whoring around for a while. I think she did it on purpose,” Jace said, coming to his defense.

“I mean, I slept with her,” Jude said, and Jayden raised his hand.

“I did too.”

“I didn’t, but that’s because she went through you two,” Jace said, looking to Markus. “She was out for trouble that night, and I truly believe Markus really liked Mekena. He was drunk.”

“That’s not an excuse, though,” he said as he looked down at the table. When he was drunk, he always knew what was going on. But that night, he didn’t remember anything. He’d blacked out. “I wish I could go back and change it. Stay away from Skylar.”

“Do you think it was staged? Like she did it to make you think you did?” Claire asked.

“I thought that too,” Baylor joined in, but Markus shook his head.

“I don’t know. I mean, I hadn’t come in the condom—sorry, ladies—but it sure looked like I slept with Skylar, and Mekena saw us.”

Everyone looked away, all of them hurting for him, he could see that, but he didn’t deserve it.

“Lord, I don’t know what happened to that girl. Skylar used to be decent, but now I can’t even stand her. She’s just wild now. That’s so sad for you and for Mekena. No one deserves that,” Claire said softly, her eyes wide. “I hate that for y’all.”

“Yeah, it sucks,” Markus agreed, but no one would ever really know the full extent of how he felt, except Jace. Markus was hurting, bad, and there seemed to be no end to his pain.

6. Free therapy, up to three times a week. (Mental health is important!)

Running his hand over his mouth, he shrugged his shoulders. “It’s in the past. What can I do?”

“Apologize?” Baylor suggested. “Numerous times—because that girl is hurting.”

“I don’t know.”

“I agree, but then maybe you do that after my wedding ’cause I need her to focus on my pictures ’cause I’m a selfish brat, and I am sorry for that,” Lucy said with a wink, and Markus laughed.

“We all know this,” he teased back.

Leaning across the table, she took his hand in hers. “I don’t know what happened, but I know you didn’t do that intentionally. And I think the sooner you tell her that, the sooner you both can start healing.”

“Yeah, I hear you,” he answered back, squeezing her hand.

“But wait till after my wedding,” she said with a grin, and he nodded.

“Can do.”

While he made it sound like it would be easy-peasy for him, it felt like it would be the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. Because no matter how much he apologized, he knew he had lost her.

And there was no coming back from that.

 

 

“He is so gorgeous! Ugh! Why is he so damn gorgeous? Why can’t he look like a goblin or something? Why do I freakin’ care? It isn’t fair. He cheated on me. Yes, we weren’t official, and yes, I may never have put out, but I wasn’t ready. I wanted to know we loved each other, I wanted to know he loved me. But no, he goes and fucks my sister, that fucking whore Skylar. It isn’t fair! Why do I still care?”

Kicking the floor, Mekena let out a long breath and then looked back at Mr. Right, who was perched on the end of the bed, his expression bored.

Like always.

“Explain it to me. How and why do I care? He didn’t care about me when he put his penis in my sister! Why didn’t he want to put his penis in me? What’s wrong with me?”

Looking for any kind of support from Mr. Right, she got none as he slowly yawned, blinking a few times. That only made her madder.

Snorting in frustration, she yelled, “I don’t even get it. He never even apologized, which, really, why would it matter? I don’t want his apology—wait, yes, I do. No! I don’t want anything from him. He’s a big ol’ buttface miscreant! I hate him!”

When Mr. Right meowed in disbelief, she yelled her irritation. “Okay, maybe I don’t hate him, but I sure hate that I still love him because that is idiotic. He cheated, Mister. Cheated. On me. With my sister! That’s unforgivable, that’s ridiculous! He chose her over me! I mean, why wasn’t I enough?”

“Meow.”

“Exactly!”

Falling back on the bed, she covered her face with her hands as she sucked in a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh. “It just isn’t fair, Mister,” she said, her voice breaking as the tears started to well up in her eyes. “I love him, still, and I knew that the moment he looked into my eyes. I thought I was over him, I thought I had let him go, but I think all I did was try to hide him from my life. I didn’t do anything to get over him. There was no closure.”

But did she really want closure?

She wasn’t sure, and she sure as hell couldn’t let that be known. Squeezing her eyes shut tighter, she swallowed hard just as Mr. Right crawled his big butt onto her chest, his head nuzzling into her hands. Melting a bit, she hugged him to her chest as she cried into his soft fur. It only lasted a second before he dug his nails into her chest, and she let him go with a cry of pain. “You have a split personality, Mister! One minute you love me, the next you want to hurt me.”

He only whipped his tail at her, which made her glare. “You’re a Markus Reeves. That’s your new name. Meanie!”

He hissed at that, and for some odd reason, that made her feel a little better. Closing her eyes, she shook her head. How in the ever-loving God was she supposed to work at this wedding and ignore Markus? Not feel even an inkling of emotion for him, and not want to ask him why he did what he did. She remembered like it was yesterday when he said he was sorry, but his apology was for the fact that she caught him. Not for hurting her. But then, did she even give him a chance? She ran off, didn’t talk to him or answer his calls. Then the calls stopped, and he walked the other way on campus, ignoring her too.

It killed her.

Every time she saw him, she’d hold her breath and worry that her sister would be holding his hand like he used to hold Mekena’s. She fully expected him to start dating Skylar, but it never happened. She never saw him with her. Truth be told, she’d never seen him with anyone since. Not that she was checking or asking Avery for information on that…daily. Maybe monthly… And that should have been a clue Mekena wasn’t over him. That her heart was still his, no matter how much she didn’t want it to be. Yet, she ignored it and pushed on.

She tried to make a life she would love. But it hadn’t happened yet. She loved taking pictures, she did, but she hated living in Florida. She missed Nashville; she missed her home. After eighteen months, one would think she would have adapted, but she hadn’t. She wanted to come home, but she couldn’t with Skylar being there. She couldn’t look the person she once loved in the eye and act like everything was okay.

Skylar broke her heart and, yes, Mekena knew it took two to tango, but Markus wasn’t that guy. He wasn’t a cheater. A little whorish, sure, but he was a good guy. He cared about her feelings, walked her to class, and never once pushed her for sex. When she said no, he said okay, and then asked what show she wanted to watch next. He let her take the lead; he let her decide how far they went.

He respected her.

At one point, she thought maybe he even loved her.

But that was all a fairy tale. It was all too good to be true. He was too sweet, too amazing to be that understanding. Being twenty-three and able to deal with a virgin who was scared of sex because what if she sucked so bad that he left her? She had no clue what she was doing. Who would want that? Yet Markus made her feel safe, and she had been getting to the point where she was ready. She wanted to give it a go… But again, all a fairy tale.

Too good to be true.

Rolling over, she dug her face in the very soft pillows of her bed and let out a scream. She was never going to find anyone. She was too nervous around everyone. She didn’t know how to talk to guys, and the fact that she even got Markus for as long as she did was a miracle in and of itself. She’d never forget the way it had all begun either. She’d be a hundred years old, and she’d still remember the way his shirt clung to his shoulders, so tight from how wide they were. Yet the rest of his shirt was loose on him. He wore those jeans that were as relaxed as he was. His hair was cut very short, but he had one hell of a five-o’clock shadow going.

He was beautiful.

It wasn’t supposed to happen. She had crushed on Markus for years after seeing him at one of the Bullies games when she was still in high school. She had thought he was dreamy, but it was a young, stupid crush that escalated into something she had no control over. It was supposed to be a quiet night, at least that’s what Avery had said. That they’d go out, eat a little, and dance, but when they got there, Markus was at the table with Jace.

How she hadn’t expected to see Markus was beyond her. Wherever Jace was, Markus was close behind. They were best friends, but seeing him up close, within reach, was almost too much to handle. She was completely speechless around him. Even when the conversation came to her, she mumbled something and then looked down at her phone dumbly. She wasn’t one of those girls who lived on her phone, she loved to see the scenery around her, but Markus was the first break of sunlight during a beautiful sunrise over a hill and she couldn’t look directly at him.

He stunned her.

But when Avery and Jace went off to dance, leaving her with Markus, something happened that she’d never thought in her wildest dreams would ever come to pass.

“Hey.”

When she looked up, Mekena couldn’t believe Markus was talking to her. Glancing around, she noticed no one else was nearby, so she pointed to herself. “Me?”

He laughed, his eyes burning a hole in her soul as he said, “Yeah, what’s up?”

Oh, he wants ketchup. Reaching for the ketchup bottle, she handed it to him. Taking it from her in confusion, he smiled. “Thanks?”

“You didn’t want that?”

He laughed. “No, I asked what’s up.”

Looking away to hide her burning face, she moved her gaze down to the table as the clank of the glass bottle of ketchup sounded when it hit the surface. God, she was an idiot! Who just hands someone fucking ketchup?

“So, Mekena, right? You’re Skylar’s little sister?”

Swallowing hard since he was obviously talking to her and she had to talk back, she looked up and nodded. “Yeah, that’s me.”

His grin never stopped. “Cool, I think I’ve seen you around campus and at the games.”

He noticed her?!

Holy shit!

Choking on her words, she mumbled out, “Yeah, I go to watch my sister and the game because I love hockey and I love watching it. My parents make me go for my sister, but really, I go for the hockey.”

Markus’s grin grew bigger somehow. “So you like hockey?”

“I do!” she gushed, leaning on the table. Being so forward was very unusual for her, but then, no guy ever asked if she liked hockey. “Yeah, my dad and I go all the time. My favorite team is the Assassins, of course.”

“Well, duh! They’re the best.”

“Right? Do you go to their games?”

“Yup, every chance I get. I’m busy with my own schedule, though.”

She smiled as she nodded. “I know, you’re great. Though your backchecking needs some work, and you aren’t aggressive enough. You’re too busy talking trash than actually getting the puck away from the forward coming toward you.”

His eyes narrowed some. “Wow. I’m impressed.”

“Don’t be. That was what my dad said the other night, and I just remember it,” she said, a grin pulling at her lips, and he laughed.

“You almost had me!”

“Though, I do know what he means, and he is right.”

Markus’s eyes widened a bit. “Jeez, burst my ego, why don’t ya.”

She waved him off. “I’m sure your ego is well intact. My opinion doesn’t matter.”

He scoffed. “Who says?”

“Me.”

“Well, I disagree,” he said, his eyes never leaving hers, and soon a grin pulled at her lips. “You don’t look anything like Skylar.”

She brushed her hair back behind her ear. “I take after my mom. Skylar takes after my dad.”

He leaned in, and her breath caught as he whispered, “Can I tell you a secret?”

Angling toward him, she nodded. “Sure…”

“I think you’re prettier, but don’t tell her that ’cause she might kill me with her thighs,” he said cautiously, and she laughed. Not at the thigh comment but at the prettier one.

“Have you seen Skylar? She’s gorgeous.”

He shrugged. “Eh, she’s so out there. Tits, ass, all hanging out for any dude to ogle. You know? I like a little surprise, a little mystery of the unknown, and plus, I don’t want some guy ogling my girl’s bits.”

“That’s a very interesting way of looking at it,” she said breathlessly because someone thought she was prettier than her sister. That never happened!

“I know, I’m weird, but like, right now, are your tits big? I don’t know because you’ve got that huge sweater on. Your eyes, are they blue or green? I can’t tell ’cause of the reflection of the light in your glasses. So of course, I want to take them off, brush your hair out of your eyes, and look deep into them. You’re a mystery, and I like that. Skylar, she’s in your face. But you passed me the ketchup.”

She sputtered with laughter. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re gorgeous.”

She could only blink, and from that moment on, she knew she’d never be the same.

And Lord, was she right because just a few short months later, Skylar happened and the betrayal was bone-deep. Mekena could still feel the knife in her chest, her back, and her heart. But seeing him tonight, his eyes…she saw such pain. While she couldn’t really believe it, it matched hers. He looked in as much pain as she felt. She wasn’t sure what that was about. Maybe he realized what he’d lost and he regretted it. But then, if that was the case, why cheat? They could still be together, still be in love, but nope, she talked to her cat on a regular basis because he was the only one that understood her, and Markus was probably off fucking anything with a vagina.

Cuddling deeper into the pillows, she knew she should get undressed, but she couldn’t bring herself to get up. Not now, maybe not ever. Maybe she could just hide in her cabin, turn off all the lights so people thought she wasn’t there. But that would be silly of her. Plus, she needed the money Lucy was paying her, and she wanted to see Avery. No, she’d have to grow some lady balls and do what she needed to do—which was ignore Markus and do her job.

No matter how hard it was.

She wasn’t sure what time it was, but she was almost asleep when she heard a rustling outside. Lifting her head, she looked toward her door as Mr. Right did the same. When the front door opened, she popped up quick, letting out a little cry.

The cabin killer!

Reaching for the closest thing she could find, an umbrella stashed in the corner of the room, she took off running toward the living room. It was dark, but she could see an outline of a person. She’d be damned if she was going to die tonight. She swung the umbrella, and it came in contact with the person with a loud thunk before she pulled back, hitting the person once more.

“Ah! What the hell?”

What? She knew that voice. Mekena stopped, clutching the umbrella as the lights came on, and Markus was looking back at her, his eyes wide and full of confusion.

And his nose was bleeding.

“Dammit, you got me right in the nose!”

Oh, shit.