Chapter 15

Connor

“So,” I asked. “Where do you want to begin?”

“Well,” said Alice, looking away for a brief moment, a strand of hair falling loose from her ear as she turned her head. “The vibe for this thing is going to be a puff piece, but deep.”

I let my eyes move over Alice as she glanced away. She was dressed in a simple pink blouse, her bra just barely visible through the fabric. A pair of slim-fitting jeans hugged her every curve. I could already tell that it was going to be hard to stay focused on the matter at hand. It was enough when I had just my fantasies to contend with; now I had the memories of our night together as clear as a photo in my mind.

“Isn’t that a contradiction?” I asked.

“That’s why I’m the pro,” she said with a smile. “We’re going to go into detail but have you looking good all the way through.”

“And you’re not going to surprise me with anything?”

“What?” asked Alice. “Like a ‘gotcha question’ or something? No—you’re not running for office. But if you do want to bring up anything that you don’t want in the article, just tell me that it’s off the record, and I’ll make sure not to include it.”

“Got it,” I said, settling into my seat. “And…what about the subject of you and me?”

Alice crinkled her brow in mild confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re not just some journalist who happened to be hired for this job—you’re someone with whom I’ve had a history. Wouldn’t that be something that the readers might be interested in?”

“Possibly,” she said. “But this is all about you. I don’t want to risk making our relationship the focal point of the piece.”

Then a sly expression formed on her face.

“Plus, do you really want the man you used to be having a place in the article?”

A dry laugh escaped my mouth.

“I see your point.”

“But…” she said. “Maybe we can add a little bit—just for some flavor. I mean, I have known you at two very different points in your life.”

“You’re the pro,” I said.

Alice considered the matter for another moment, then opened up her laptop and turned it toward us.

“I’m going to hit play now, and that’ll be the start. Remember—‘off the record’ means that I won’t include it.”

I nodded, eager to get on with it. Alice tapped the trackpad of her laptop and the recording began.

“So, Dr. Rex,” she said. “Let’s start from the start. Have you always been interested in medicine?”

“Not at all,” I said, thinking back. “You know how I was in high school—there wasn’t a thing I cared more about than partying and getting laid.”

Realizing what I’d just said, I reached over and tapped the trackpad to stop the recording.

“Maybe take out the ‘getting laid’ part,” I said, leaning forward a bit, my tone conspiratorial.

Alice let out another one of her lilting laughs.

“I’ll just say ‘partying,’” she said. “It’s a good euphemism. People get the point.”

She tapped the trackpad again and the recording went on.

“So,” she said. “You were the big man on campus in high school. What was that like?”

“Hard to say,” I said, those years seeming more like a thousand years ago than just a little over ten. “When you’re that age you’re just running on autopilot. I was really into girls, really into my bike, and didn’t give a damn about anyone other than myself.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” said Alice.

There was the slightest hint of a smile on her lips, but I couldn’t tell just how serious she was being.

“And you were part of all that, as you well know,” I said.

“Oh yeah,” she said. “I know just what it was like to be on the end of the ‘Connor Rex experience.’”

Her tone hardened just enough for me to see that she wasn’t completely cool with the subject.

“Yes, you were,” I said.

The subject of her and I was already being brought up, and I knew that I had to choose my words carefully.

“But you’d be wrong if you thought that you were just one interchangeable girl among many.”

Alice took another sip of her wine.

“Could’ve fooled me,” she said.

I felt the tension ratchet up just a bit.

“You know that I’m sorry for how I treated you back then,” I said. “But that’s just who I was.”

“The ‘love-em-and-leave-em’ type,” said Alice, trying to compose herself. “It’s the kind of guy that every girl needs to deal with at some point in her life.”

“See?” I asked. “It was a learning experience.”

Alice’s response was a wry smile. I got the impression that she didn’t find my comment particularly funny. My gaze drifted back into the living room for a brief moment where Hunter was plopped in front of the TV playing that Fortnight game he was so into.

“Sorry,” said Alice. “I don’t know what it is. It’s like as soon as the subject of you and I back then gets brought up, I get…pissed off. I can’t help it—the best I can do is just keep myself in check.”

“What do you think’s going on there?” I asked, knowing I should let the issue drop but not being able to resist.

“Probably because of the way you dumped me,” she said. “I mean, the way you just acted like I was no one. The look on your face that day I walked up to you at school, that confused expression of ‘who the hell is this girl’? It’s burned into my brain. I can’t help it.”

I remembered that day, too. I remembered the strange whirl of emotions inside of me, how I’d realized that I’d fallen hard for Alice, how she’d brought up feelings inside of me that I’d never know before. And it fucking scared me.

I wanted to say this, to come clean and let Alice know that the way I treated her wasn’t out of apathy or boredom, but as a reaction to feelings that I was just too immature to understand.

But I couldn’t. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t. Maybe it was my silly pride preventing me from looking vulnerable, but I just couldn’t say the damn words.

“Sorry,” was all I managed to say.

Alice regarded me with a skeptical expression for another moment before moving on.

“Ancient history,” she said. “Stupid of me to dwell on it.”

We both instinctively reached for our wine and took long sips.

“Anyway,” said Alice, “big man on campus in high school, yadda-yadda-yadda—then you went to med school?”

“Not at first,” I said, thinking back to my college days in New York. “I was eager as hell to get out of Hemswood. That town was just too small for me.”

“Tends to happen when you burn bridges with half the girls there,” said Alice. “Surprised they didn’t chase you out with torches and pitchforks.”

A small smile was on her lips, and I knew that this meant she was in slightly better spirits. Then, right at that moment, my mind flashed back to our night, how those lips looked wrapped around my cock. I shook my head to focus.

“Just weren’t many opportunities,” I said. “Back at that age I had no idea what I wanted to do, but I knew whatever life I was going to lead it was going to be too big for that town. No offense.”

“Small-town life has its charms,” I said.

“It does, but I’m sure you know the appeal of life in the city.”

She nodded, and I went on.

“Anyway, life in college was more of the same. I partied, I slept around, I didn’t give a damn about my studies. But I somehow managed to keep getting halfway decent grades. Not great, but enough to get by.”

“Some people have all the luck,” said Alice, flashing another smile.

“Something like that, I suppose,” I said. “I remember meeting with a guidance counselor in my first year. She told me my grades and my test scores just weren’t in sync—I should’ve been doing better than I was. And she gave it to me bluntly: said I was a smart kid and wasting my potential. Said that if I didn’t focus on something bigger than myself that I’d just go bouncing from one girl to the next, from one meaningless job to the next, and so on, until I realized that I was forty and hadn’t done a single thing worthwhile with my life.”

“And then what happened?”

“I wanted to dismiss everything she said, but deep down I knew that she was right. Partying and girls were wearing thin and always seemed to leave me feeling empty inside. And it’s around then that the accident happened.”

Alice’s eyebrows raised, and it was clear that this was the first she was hearing about this.

But before we could go on, a knock sounded at the balcony door. It was Hunter.

Alice tapped the trackpad and killed the recording, and I stepped over to the door and threw it open.

“What’s up, champ?” I asked.

“Dad, I’m hungry,” said Hunter.

I turned to Alice. Her gaze was far away, seemingly focused on just what I meant by “the accident.” But it’d have to wait.

“That good for tonight?” I asked.

“Um, yeah, fine,” she said. “Again tomorrow?”

“Works for me,” I said. “To be continued, I suppose.”

With that, I stepped inside, more than a little glad to be out of the spotlight.