It was a week after the break-in and I wasn’t really thinking about that at the moment, because it was a little weird to be going to a cookout at Jax’s place, because I felt like this was the first time Reece and I were really stepping out as . . . as something like a legit couple. I guessed that’s what we actually were. We talked like we were. We had sex like we were. He had the extra key to my apartment. Mainly because if I was working when the guy wired my place, he’d be able to let him in, but whatever. We were like a couple, and that made me feel kind of stupid for being so weird about it in the first place.
But my head had been all over the place this past week. I wasn’t used to being around a guy as much as I was with Reece, and I thought I’d be annoyed with the lack of space, but I wasn’t. I actually missed him when he wasn’t around, which was odd, because when he wasn’t working, he was with me. I really liked it when Reece came home.
He was always very hands-on when he got off work.
And if I counted the amount of time that passed from when he hit the bed to when he was inside me, it was probably around a couple of minutes. If that. Which was also something I had a hard time wrapping my head around. With other guys, I needed foreplay, lots of foreplay. With Reece, just the feel of his skin moving against mine aroused me enough for some between-the-sheets shenanigans.
I also discovered that he hadn’t been joking when he’d said he only slept a few hours here and there. There’d been a few times when he’d gotten up before me, even after falling asleep after me. On Thursday, I’d woken up to find him gone, sitting out on the balcony, his feet kicked up on the railing and his expression far away, focused on something he hadn’t really been willing to share with me, but the shadows in his eyes told me it had to do with that shooting.
It still haunted him, and I hated that I had no idea how to help him with that. Or if he wanted my help. That morning, when I tried to talk to him, it had been a no-go, so I resorted to one way that I knew put that carefree smile back on his handsome face. I’d gotten on my knees between him and that balcony railing . . . and we definitely broke some public decency laws.
If my dumb nervousness was showing on the way to Jax’s—which it had to be because I was as twitchy as a tweeker—Reece didn’t let on that he noticed. Instead, he kept the conversation light, steering away from talk about Charlie, Henry, and the whole angry, creepy stalker dude who may or may not be Henry.
All we did know was that it wasn’t Dean Zook. Colton had interviewed him after the break-in, and apparently just the sight of a detective showing up at his place had caused the guy to break out in hives. According to Colton, Dean might be persistent and rude, but he wasn’t getting a stalker vibe from him and he doubted that I’d hear from Dean again.
Okay. I wasn’t going to think about that—any of that. Tonight was going to be normal and fun and all things good.
When we pulled into the parking lot and Reece killed the engine, I felt my stomach drop and land on my feet as my gaze locked with a cerulean one. “Did I tell you that you look beautiful today?” he said.
My lips parted as I nodded. He had. That morning.
“Oh. I’m going to tell you again. You look beautiful.”
Wordless, all I could do was stare at him. He was so handsome, but it was the openness in his steady gaze, the acceptance of me and all my crazy that really undid me.
You’ve fallen, an insidious voice whispered and I wanted to smack that dumb bitch upside her head, because another chirpier voice was pointing out that I probably fell when I was fifteen. It was just a long, slow-motion kind of fall at this point.
“You got the potato salad?”
“Huh?” I murmured, distracted by the warring voices in my head.
He gestured at my feet. “The potato salad that we bought at the store that you insisted on putting in another plastic container so it looked like you actually made it when I’m sure there’s no one here going to believe you actually made that.”
“Oh!” I bent over, scooping up the tub. “I totally made this.”
“Liar.”
“Shut up,” I hissed, yanking on the handle, but the door wouldn’t budge. I rolled my eyes. “Can you unlock my door?”
He chuckled and hit the button. I all but fell out of the damn thing, and then was stunned that within a heartbeat, Reece was by my side, taking the potato salad out of my grasp and grabbing my hand with his.
We were holding hands.
Like boyfriend and girlfriend.
We were totally holding hands as we crossed the parking lot, and I was torn between punching myself in the lady bits and skipping like a schoolgirl.
I needed therapy.
The door to Jax’s townhome was unlocked, and as soon as we stepped inside the house, we almost plowed into a beautiful redhead coming down the stairs.
“Hey!” I squealed. “Avery!” Then I frowned. “Are you okay?”
Avery looked a little green as she gave me a wobbly smile. “Hey,” she replied in a much more subdued voice. “Sorry. I’m getting over a stomach bug. The stomach is still a little woozy, but I’m not contagious or anything.” She glanced at where my hand was mating with Reece’s, and her grin strengthened. “Hi, Reece.”
He nodded. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do we need to get Cam?”
Avery’s laugh was airy. “Yes, I’m sure. And besides, I doubt you’ll pull him away from the grill. I’m pretty sure he kicked Jax off grill duty. He does that everywhere we go. It’s weird.”
“Probably a good thing. Cam can cook, right?” I asked as we followed her to the kitchen and out the back door.
Her eyes got this dreamy look that was goofy and cute, and I wondered if I looked like that when people mentioned Reece. Probably not as adorable, and more whacked. “Yeah, he can cook.”
Reece squeezed my hand. “I bet his omelets aren’t as good as mine.”
I snorted.
His eyes narrowed on me as his lips twitched. “You wait and see if I make you another omelet anytime soon.”
Avery’s avid gaze bounced back and forth between us. “So you guys . . . um—”
“Joined the league of the incredibly good-looking couple secret organization of annoying hotness?” Katie appeared, popping out of a wall for all I knew. Dressed down today—sort of—she was wearing hot-pink jeans and an off-the-shoulder black shirt. “Yes. The answer would be yes.”
Reece raised his brows.
“What? I dare you to deny such label,” she challenged. “Do it. Make my day.”
I giggled.
“I wasn’t going to deny it,” Reece replied. “But thanks for stealing our thunder.”
Unabashed, Katie rocked back on what appeared to be six-inch heels. She spun around, clapping. “Reece and Roxy, whose names link together in an incredibly cute way, are totally doing it!”
“Oh my God,” I whispered, eyes wide.
“Well, that’s one way of making an announcement.” Reece sighed.
A whole bunch of heads turned in our direction. By the grill, Jax raised his hand and gave us a . . . he gave us a thumbs-up? Really?
“I’m so proud of our babies,” Nick commented from where he sat near the grill, sprawled in a lawn chair he looked like he overgrew a few feet ago, a hoodie up over his head and rocking dark sunglasses. “They’re all grown up now. What shall we ever do?”
Calla walked to us, her long blond hair swishing in a ponytail. She grinned as she took the potato salad from us. “I have so many questions,” she said to me meaningfully. “But since Katie pretty much just put that all out there, I’ll wait.”
“Thanks,” I muttered dryly.
She laughed as she plopped the container on a card table someone must’ve dug up from a basement or a frat house, from the looks of it. “You make this?” Her brows rose.
“Yes,” I answered, not even blinking an eye.
Reece swallowed a laugh that earned him a strange look from Calla, and I pulled my hand free, shooting him a death glare over my shoulder. His grin spread.
“You totally didn’t make this,” she said, brows arched.
I sighed. “No.”
Calla laughed again. “I was going to say I didn’t know you peeled potatoes.”
“Peeling potatoes is hard,” I grumbled.
Avery joined Cam, who immediately draped an arm over her shoulders. “You feeling okay, shortcake?” he asked, concern evident in the way he stared at her. When she nodded, he dipped his head and kissed the tip of her nose and then looked up. “The hamburgers are almost done. Got some hot dogs on the grill, too. Wanted to grill some chicken, but Jase didn’t want to wait so long.”
Jase, the extremely good-looking one of the bunch, folded his arms. “Especially when you want to baste it like you’re fucking Betty Crocker or some shit.”
“Don’t hate on Betty Crocker,” Cam warned him.
Cam kind of made me nervous. Not in a bad way, but mainly because he was a pro soccer player—a freaking pro soccer player. I always felt out of my element when I was around him.
“They smell great.” Reece glanced at Jax. “Colton’s going to try to make it, but no promises.”
“Understandable,” he returned. He waved his hand at the numerous lawn chairs. “Help yourself.”
Calla gestured at the group. “Brit and Ollie couldn’t make it. He’s got a big exam on Monday and Brit’s staying with him in Morgantown, but I think you guys know everyone here except—”
“Me.” A guy with beautiful mocha-colored skin and bright green eyes stood from one of the chairs. He was tall and lanky, and vaguely reminded me of Bruno Mars. He was wearing a gray loose-knit beanie I kind of wanted to steal. “I’m Jacob. I go to college at Shepherd. I’m a Gemini. I’m allergic to Game of Thrones, because I can’t keep track of everyone who dies on the show. If you talk shit about Doctor Who, we cannot be friends, and I still want a goddamn pony and no one will let me buy one.”
Teresa, who was sitting in one of the plastic chairs, ran her hand through her mane of dark hair. She looked stunning, as usual, a modern-day Snow White. “You’re the only grown person who wants a pony.”
“I kind of want a llama,” I said.
Reece looked down at me, lips pursed thoughtfully, as if he was rethinking the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing.
“Why would you want a llama?” Calla sounded genuinely curious.
I shrugged. “Who wouldn’t want a llama?”
“Um . . .” Avery wrinkled her nose. “Don’t they spit?”
Jacob shushed her and then grinned at me. “I think we’re going to be great friends. We could take our pony and llama on playdates. Oh! Ollie could totally fashion leashes for them. I want one with Swarovski crystals.”
Another man I hadn’t met before groaned from where he stood. “That is not going to happen.”
Jacob then shushed him. “Mr. Dream Crusher, also known as Marcus, is my boyfriend. He doesn’t understand the need for an obscenely large four-legged friend.”
I grinned at what had to be the greatest introduction of all time.
Marcus was equally handsome, even more so, and nicely tanned. “Out of college,” he said, standing and offering a hand to Reece and then me. “I don’t know any of these people.”
“That’s probably a good thing,” Jacob said. “Half of them are insane.”
“Hey!” shouted Teresa from her seat. “We’re not insane. We are eccentric.”
“Speaking of insane”—Katie returned to our huddle, holding a bottle of Corona—“have you thought anymore about trying out that pole?”
Jacob choked on the beer he was drinking and turned sideways quickly, waving a hand in front of his face. Before he could say anything, Jase’s head swiveled around so fast I thought it might spin right off. “What?” he demanded.
Teresa grinned as she bit down on her lip. “Nothing, honey.”
“No. Seriously. That’s not a ‘nothing.’ I don’t ever want to hear my sister’s name and the word pole in the same sentence that involves dancing.” Cam glanced at Katie, wielding a slotted spatula, causing Jacob to sidestep a spittle of grease. “No offense.”
She shrugged a shoulder. “None taken. Only the few and the proud can handle it.”
I scrunched my nose. “Isn’t that the Marines’ motto?”
“Yes,” sighed Reece.
Jase eyed his girlfriend and then shook his head. Giggling, Teresa rose from her seat and went to his side. Stretching up, she clasped his cheeks and whispered something in his ear. Whatever it was turned the frown upside down. She returned to the seat, cheeks flushed.
Before I could do anything, Reece dipped his head and kissed my cheek and then wandered off to where all the boys were converged around the grill.
“Sit.” Teresa patted the chair next to her. “Sit down, girl who’s dating a hot cop.”
My heart did a happy little twirl at that as I sat next to her. Calla and Avery joined in while Katie remained standing, nursing her beer. “Cops are hot,” she said, eyes squinting. “Well, any guy in a uniform is hot. Wait. Not any uniform, but you get what I’m saying.”
I had to agree with her.
“Have you heard anything more about the stalker?” Avery asked in a quiet voice.
Calla leaned forward, expression serious. “Your place was broken into, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, last weekend, but nothing else has happened since then. I know Reece’s friend is coming out on Monday or Tuesday after he gets off to go ahead and wire the place, so hopefully that helps.”
“That’s so frightening,” Avery said, shaking her head. “Yeah, I know that makes me Captain Obvious, but God, that’s just crazy. I’m glad you’re staying with Reece.”
Teresa shuddered. “So am I. If I were you, even with a security system, I wouldn’t want to be alone until they found the freak.”
“Have you thought about just staying with him until they find out who’s doing this?” Calla asked, glancing to where the guys were laughing over something Jacob had said. “I doubt he’d be against that.”
Crossing my legs, I couldn’t even try to hide the grin that pulled at my lips. “I don’t think he would either, but I don’t want to impose on him any more than I am.”
Teresa cocked a dark brow. “I so doubt you are doing any imposing.”
“True, but . . .” I shook my head, unsure of how to put it in words I didn’t want overheard. I didn’t have to worry long, because Katie did it for me.
Voice low, she said, “Roxy is stupid. No offense,” she said to me, and I glared at her. “She thinks she’s not in love. Or she doesn’t want to be in love, and probably has no idea that he’s already willingly taken that leap, so she’s trying to protect her whittle heart.”
Avery tucked a strand of strawberry-colored hair back behind her ear. “I’m pretty sure most of us have been there.”
“Yep,” commented Calla as she raised her glass of tea. “Been there, done that, and got the T-shirt.”
I arched my brows at them.
“Am I the only one who went after a guy?” Teresa asked, her expression puzzled. “Because I totally knew I wanted to make sweet, sweet loving to Jase from like before day one.”
“That’s because you have lady balls,” announced Katie. “The rest of them just have ovaries.”
“Do I want to even know what you all are talking about?” Jacob asked, appearing behind Avery. He gripped the back of her chair and leaned over her.
Calla laughed. “Probably not. So how much longer till we eat?”
He glanced over at the grill. “Another five minutes, I guess? What the fuck do I know though.”
Teresa stretched her legs out in front of her, sighing as she smiled. “I’m glad we all were able to get away and hang out.”
“Yeah, this is probably going to be the last time for a while,” Avery said, smacking at Jacob as he picked up a strand of her hair and tossed it in her face.
“Why?” I asked.
“After this semester, I’m moving back here,” Calla said, a sad smile on her face as she looked at me. “You will be stuck with me, but I’m going to miss seeing Avery and Teresa.”
“With Cam’s schedule, he’s got a lot of traveling coming up. I try to go with him when I can, but it’s not always possible,” Avery said. “But we got a wedding to plan, so don’t forget that.” She grinned at Teresa. “I’m totally leaving that all up to you and Brit, by the way.”
“Fine with me. You’ll be wearing red instead of white.”
Avery rolled her eyes. “Yeah, because that will go great with my hair. Thanks.”
Jacob patted her head sympathetically.
“Weekends are going to be hard for Jase and me to get away. With his new job at the agriculture center, he’s working all week and our weekends are pretty packed right now since Jack will be staying with us during the weekends for now,” Teresa continued.
“Isn’t Jack his brother?” I asked, hoping something wasn’t going on with his parents that meant they couldn’t care for him.
“Uh . . .” Jacob straightened. “I don’t think Roxy knows, Tess.”
“Crap. You’re right.” Teresa scooted forward on the plastic chair. “Well, it’s kind of a complicated, long story, but the short version is that Jack’s not his brother. He’s Jase’s son.”
My mouth dropped open, and I couldn’t help it. I glanced over at Jase, who was holding a plate Cam was heaping burgers onto. I knew that Jack wasn’t a small child and Jase wasn’t much older than me, so . . .
“He was dating a girl in high school and she got pregnant,” Teresa explained when I turned back around. “Instead of putting Jack up for adoption, Jase’s parents legally adopted him and they raised Jack as Jase’s brother. Jase finally told Jack the truth a couple of weekends ago.”
“Wow,” I said. “How’d that go?”
Teresa smiled sadly. “Jack understands, but in a way, he doesn’t. He’s old enough to get what Jase is telling him, but he’s looked at him as an older brother since he was born. It’s going to take a while to get used to the fact that he’s his father. The great thing though is that Jase’s parents have been really supportive, and since Jase just closed on a house, it’s a good place for Jack once he’s ready.” She shrugged. “And hey, it’s like a practice run for me.”
Avery shot her a look. “Oh dear God, don’t let Cam hear you say that.”
“He needs to get over the fact I have sex. Lots of sex,” she replied dryly. “Look at Jase. Who wouldn’t?”
“That boy would never leave my bed,” Katie said.
“Mine either,” murmured Jacob. “Hell, I’d take all these boys.”
Part of me couldn’t believe that Jase had a son, but the guy had awesome genes so I guessed it was great that they were being passed down.
“What about the mom?” Katie asked.
Teresa cringed. “She passed away years ago in a car accident.”
“Oh. Wow. That sucks.” Katie took a long gulp of her beer. “I think it’s time for food.” She wandered over to the grill.
Reece was the man.
He pulled over a chair next to mine, asked what I wanted and returned with a plate full of food and a fresh beer. I could get used to that kind of service. And as corny as it felt, I could also get used to coupledom.
Katie left shortly after she finished eating, stating she had a hot date to get ready for, and I wished her luck. There were a lot of laughs and insults flying once the food was done and the chairs were moved around a fire pit that kept the cold chill of the September air at bay. When I came back from using the bathroom and helping put the cold stuff away in the fridge, Reece snagged me around the waist and pulled me into his lap.
I let out a soft squeal. “We’re going to break the chair!”
He straightened my glasses and then looped his arms around me. “We’ll be fine.” Light from the fire flickered across his face. “Want to know a secret?”
“Sure,” I whispered back.
One side of his lips kicked up and he rested his forehead against mine. “I’m glad we’re here. I’m enjoying this.”
My heart expanded in my chest and I admitted, “Me, too.”
“Good.” He reached up with one hand, smoothing my hair back from my face. “Because I can see us doing this again. And again. What do you think?”
I closed my eyes, secretly thrilled to hear what he was saying.
“I think it’s kind of weird seeing you two be nice to each other,” Jax said as he walked past us, joining Calla on a thick blanket.
Reece lifted his head from mine. “I think it’s kind of weird that you’re paying that close attention to us.”
I laughed as I rested my cheek on his shoulder. There was no denying I was happy where I was at the moment, and yeah, I could really see us doing this. I could see us together, seriously together. And maybe I could even get over myself—over the fear of getting hurt again.
For him—for this—wasn’t it worth it?
My breath caught as I placed my hand above his heart and he immediately folded his over mine. I opened my eyes and stared at our joined hands.
Katie was so right.
And it was so stupid, because I wasn’t even sure why I was fighting this anymore. What I felt for Reece when I was fifteen was nothing like what I felt for him now. Back then, I thought I knew what it was like being in love with someone. Maybe I did, but now I truly knew how it felt. Because this was like flying and drowning all at once, like wrapping yourself in your favorite sweater and running naked through a sprinkler. It was a thousand conflicting emotions all rolled into a ball.
I loved Reece.
A knot formed in the back of my throat as I lifted my head. I really did love him. I was in love with him. There was no more playing around with how I felt, no more lying.
Reece looked at me, his brows knitting. “You okay?”
I opened my mouth to tell him yes. No! To tell him the truth, and I didn’t care that people surrounded us, because I was going to scream it—scream it right in Reece’s face.
But my butt vibrated.
“Oh.” Drawing back, I pulled my cell out of my jean pocket. My stomach dropped the moment I saw the caller ID. “It’s Charlie’s parents,” I mumbled.
Reece stiffened.
Going cold, I sat up straight as I answered the phone. “Hello?”
“Roxanne?” Charlie’s mother never called me Roxy. Never in my whole life had she ever used my nickname. And never in my whole life had I heard her sound as hoarse and shaken as she did now.
Hands shaking as knots formed in my belly, I slipped out of Reece’s embrace and stood. I stepped over Jax’s legs, giving myself space as I walked away from the fire. “Yes. This is Roxy. What’s going on?”
I don’t even know why I asked the question. I knew what she was going to say. Deep down I already knew, and everything inside me started to unravel like a loose thread that had been tugged.
“I’m sorry,” she said into the phone.
“No,” I whispered, turning around. I saw Reece standing a few feet behind me. Concern poured into his expression and so did realization. He stepped toward me, and I stumbled back.
Charlie’s mother let out a broken sound—a sound I didn’t even know she was capable of making until that moment. “It’s over. He . . . Charlie passed away this evening.”