Gareth was a spectacular woman just as he was a spectacular man. However, it was definitely unsettling to leave the dressing room with Gareth as a girl, especially considering what we’d just done, but the life of a Vamp was nothing if it wasn’t unconventional.

Martha and Jane were wildly impressed with his perky hooters and complimented him profusely. Gareth slash Dickie slash Ginny was beside himself with glee over his newly attached playthings. Thankfully there was a Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress in the dressing room that we borrowed or else he would have been naked.

We’d made it backstage with about a minute to spare. Post sex, I’d quickly pulled myself back together while my man switched sexes. All kinds of strange, but very fascinating.

The backstage area was packed, but I spotted Tiara and Claudia immediately. Tiara’s mouth dropped open with she saw Ginny. Elbowing Claudia, they both gave Gareth a rousing thumbs up.

All of this praise was going directly to his coiffed head. I had to admit that with black wavy hair and icy blue eyes he was stunning, but come on. His ego was large to begin with… we didn’t need it to knock out the back wall of the auditorium.

“You have got to stop feeling yourself up,” I muttered, pulling his hands away from his breasts. “It’s weird.”

“Oh my God, I don’t understand why you don’t do this to yourself—all the fucking time. I would,” he said squeezing his 36C’s with great joy.

“Um… you are, and you’re drawing alarmed looks. Either put your hands in your pockets or behind your back. Now.”

“Can I fondle my ass?”

“Can you do it discreetly?” I asked with an eye roll. He was going to touch something—he couldn’t seem to stop himself. It may as well be lower than higher on the body. Less noticeable.

“I think I can. You know, I thought I would miss my dick—and I do—but these boobs almost make up for it.”

Glancing around to make sure no one had overheard, I elbowed him. Hard. “Okay that’s more information than I would ever need in a hundred lifetimes. Go over there and stand against the wall. That way you can touch your ass and no one will be the wiser.”

“Can I turn around, face the wall, and feel up my boobs?”

“No. No you can’t.”

Gareth followed my orders with out any backtalk. He was too involved in his new body parts—mainly his boobs—to fight me. God, never in a million years did I think I would put those words together in reference to my very masculine mate.

“All right ladies,” Sunny yelled over the din of the crowd congregating in the wings. “Today you will practice speaking about your cause. You’ll each have three minutes. You go even one second over and a tenth of a point will be deducted from your score. I’ll have a stopwatch and a bullhorn during rehearsal today and don’t think I won’t use it.”

The crowd tittered politely.

Was that supposed to be a joke? If old Sunny was trying to be funny, she’d just failed miserably. And what the Hell was she talking about? Glancing over at Martha and Jane, I felt a bit ill. They were frantically searching through the satchel. Did they have my ‘cause’ in there—whatever the Hell that was?

“You’re new,” Sunny snapped as she approached me, looking me up and down like I was a car in a lot. “You’re a last minute entrant. I don’t ever take last minute, but I had no choice. You’d better be all you were made out to be.”

Before I could even get a word, or a head butt in, she turned on her ridiculously high heels and went to terrorize someone else. Awesome. Thankfully she’d saved me from committing an act of unnecessary bloodshed like I’d forbidden Gareth to do.

“What did she say to you?” Tiara asked as she and Claudia came over and flanked me.

“Something about a cause. What the heck is she talking about?”

“You don’t have a cause?” Claudia asked with concern marring her lovely features.

I was so out of my comfort zone here. The worried expressions on Claudia and Tiara’s faces made me feel like I was about to take a final exam in school that I hadn’t studied for one little bit.

“I have a bathing suit and a damn glittery dress. I didn’t know I was supposed to have a cause,” I muttered frantically.

Gareth was too into his ass to even notice my mini freak out. He’d better get over fondling himself fast. We were going to have to take on Vlad and whoever else the bastard had with him. If Gareth kept massaging his boobs, we were going to be in huge trouble.

“Fuck a duck on a Slip-n-Slide.” Martha came waddling up to us with a terrified look on her face. “You gotta come up with a fucking cause pronto.”

“What do you mean I?” I hissed, wanting to wallop her. “You’re my damned handler. You’re supposed to have this shit under control.”

“Didn’t say nothing about a cause in the memo we got,” Jane explained in a tizzy. “We can do this. Most causes are about a disease or some shit like that. Just pick one and go out there and say you care about it.”

“We’re Vampyres, you dumb ass, we don’t get diseases.” I was beginning to panic. Old Sunny would boot my ass if I wasn’t up to snuff and I had to be here.

Damn it.

“Vampyres also don’t go to the bathroom,” Martha reminded everyone just in case we’d forgotten.

“What’s your cause?” I asked Tiara. Maybe I could pick something similar.

“Advancement of the Gay and Lesbian Undead Society. It’s not real popular, but I’m so good in the cage they overlook it,” Tiara explained.

Hmm… I had nothing for that one.

“Claudia—now going by the stage name Juliette—please come to the stage,” Sunny’s snarky voice boomed over the sound system. “Your three minutes start NOW.”

Claudia made a hasty exit and sprinted to the stage.

“What’s her cause?” I asked, still racking my brain for something I could actually speak about and not sound like an idiot.

“NAACP,” Tiara said with pride. “Claudia is from a dark time in history—just fucking awful. She lived on a slave plantation with a fucker that beat her almost to death on a daily basis. After she was turned, she searched out all the descendants of the slaves that had been on the plantation. She’s been quietly funneling money to them over the years without them knowing where it comes from—you know, educational scholarships, home loans, medical bills that kind of shit. It’s why she’s always broke. I’m real proud of her—just wish she’d keep enough to keep her own head above water.”

“What?” I choked out. I felt light headed and like I’d entered an alternate universe.

I’d had plans to kill her. Claudia was an Angel living on Earth and I’d been so close to having her blood on my hands. I could have taken the life of the woman who was supporting the great-great-grandchildren of those who had labored beside me in my former life. My knees gave out and I landed in a clump on the floor. Tears filled my eyes as I rocked back and forth like a child trying to comfort myself.

Shame, I felt shame—and so very small. I owed The Kev my sanity and my undying trust. I owed Claudia an apology. Vengeance had almost ruined me.

“What the ever lovin’ Hell?” Martha cried out as she squatted down and wrapped her boney arms around me. “Don’t you worry your pretty head,” she murmured. “I’ll think up a mother humpin’ cause. I’m here for you, baby.”

Gareth dashed over with fangs out ready to kill. “What’s wrong? Who do I need to kill?” he demanded.

It sounded odd coming out of a woman, but the arrogance was all man.

“I’m okay,” I said, taking his hands as he gently pulled me to my feet. “I just…”

“She doesn’t have a cause,” Jane said, still in a tizzy. “She needs a goddang cause. All the busty gals have something they support or have a passion for.”

“Even better if it’s something that pulls at the undead heart strings,” Tiara added.

“Finance,” Gareth said, brushing his hands over his boobs.

Clearly he was still obsessed—men were so easy. Ignoring his need to play with his new toys, I focused on what he’d said.

“What about finance?” I asked, thinking it was at least something I knew about.

“Talk about investing wisely,” he said with a wink.

He really had kept tabs on me.

“And make a point of saying since we don’t pay taxes, we owe something to the world since we live in it for such a long fucking time,” Tiara suggested.

“Not sure she should actually say fucking,” Martha pointed out.

Ironic coming from her, since her mouth belonged on a sailor.

“How about motherfucking?” Tiara inquired with a grin.

“God, you are so your sister’s sister,” I said getting excited. “Half the Vamp world wants her ass in a sling for making the undead tithe.”

“Heard about that,” Tiara said, sounding pissed. “If she needs someone taken out, all she has to do is ask. I owe her for offing Daddy Dearest. I’ll have her back if she wants me to.”

“She’ll love you,” I promised Tiara.

“You think?” Tiara asked shyly, clearly taken aback that anyone would like her.

“I know so. Okay, I have a cause,” I said, relieved. Sunny wasn’t going to kick my ass out just yet. “So Claudia gives all her money away?”

“Yeah, I try to give her cash all the time. I have freakin’ millions. The Fairies basically buy my ass off so I stay away. I’m not exactly welcome in Zanthia with my colorful heritage. But my Claudia, she won’t take a goddamned cent. Borrows money from that skank hole Sunny instead of taking what’s freely offered.”

“That’s how she ended up having to go with Vlad,” I commented and then regretted it instantly by the expression of rage on Tiara’s face.

“Continue,” she said through clenched teeth.

The Demon-Fairy-Vamp was close to losing it.

Shit,” I muttered. “Tamp it back, dude. Not gonna help if you go all crazy right now.”

With a terse nod, Tiara regained control. “Speak. Please.”

“Sunny agreed to forgive a ten thousand dollar loan if Claudia entertained Vlad. Apparently he’s bankrolling the pageant now. She was told by Sunny that Vlad was clear that the date didn’t include sex and…”

“Sunny fucking lied,” Tiara growled as her eyes went red and silver and her fangs appeared.

“Suck it up, sister,” I ordered in a tone that I used in battle with my lieutenants. Tiara responded to it immediately. “Killing Sunny is going to get your ass kicked out or worse. We need you. Claudia needs you. Get ahold of yourself. Now.

She did. It took monumental effort, but she reined it in.

“Sunny dies.”

“Dude, you do what you gotta do, but save it until after we have Vlad.”

“Why Claudia?” Tiara demanded. “Why is he obsessed with my Claudia?”

“It’s Juliette he’s obsessed with,” I replied, pulling her away from the crowd.

Gareth, Martha and Jane stayed close. I could hear Claudia talking in the background and had no clue if Tiara or I were next.

“Vlad is obsessed with Juliette. She one of the royals, but she’s batshit crazy. Claudia looks like Juliette and he apparently transferred his dangerous obsession to her.”

“Understatement,” Gareth said flatly. “Juliette’s my sister, but she doesn’t rule. She’s in a cell right now for trying to kill most of our family, including her sister Astrid.”

“I am so fucking confused right now,” Tiara said, squinting at all of us. “I thought she was your sister, Dickie.”

“It’s Ginny for the time being,” he corrected her, adjusting his bosom. “My sister, for lack of a better word, shares the same father as me but has a different mother. Juliette and Astrid share the same mother.”

Tiara still looked stymied. I didn’t blame her.

“You’re not related to Juliette,” I told her quickly before her head went there. “There’s tons more to the story, but you know everything you need to know right now.”

“Claudia’s in danger because she looks like someone else.”

“Yes,” I confirmed.

“And you’re going to use this sick bastard’s obsession to trap him with Claudia as bait?” she asked, very unhappy. “And she’s going by the insane woman’s name now?”

I nodded.

“I don’t like this at all,” Tiara growled.

“Neither do I, but Claudia’s agreed to help. I won’t let anything happen to her. I swear it.”

“No. I won’t let anything happen to her,” Tiara corrected me. “I’m a goddang killing machine. You need me.”

“He has to be taken alive,” Gareth said. “As ash he’s worthless. We need him and the Angel to break the curse. Alive. Not dead.”

“Got it,” Tiara said tightly. “Alive not dead. How about severely freakin’ damaged?”

“That’s fine. Just leave his head intact.”

“Will do.”