“Alrighty, watch out. This shit might get messy. Uncle Fucker occasionally gets pissy about being summoned by surprise,” Astrid warned as she cleared some furniture out of the way.

“This is a very bad idea,” Ethan grumbled as he helped his mate move the coffee table and armchairs.

“No duh, Sexy Pants,” Astrid shot back. “It’s never a good plan to invite Lucifer into your home after eleven, but a gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do when a psycho-fuck like Vlad is still on the loose.”

“I take full responsibility for the request of his presence,” Gareth said, firmly. “All favors owed shall be mine.”

“Damn right you will.” Ethan shot his brother a glare that would have withered a lesser man.

“And if he steals anything, you have to replace it,” Astrid added with a laugh.

“Steals?” I asked, confused.

“He’s got a thing for office supplies,” Astrid explained as if it were normal everyday conversation that the Devil liked staplers.

I simply nodded. Weird didn’t even begin to cover that piece of news. I had to agree with Ethan on this one. Calling on the Devil should only be a last resort. I mean, I liked Satan—as much as one could say they liked a Demon from the Underworld. He was all kinds of tall, dark, gorgeous, and every kind of insane. He’d always been cordial to me, if not a little flirty.

“Back up,” Astrid warned again. “Uncle Fucker’s entrances tend to be a little fiery. Literally.”

“Can’t you just call him?” Gareth asked as he backed up and shielded my body with his.

“Dude, phones don’t work so well from one plane to another,” I told him, pushing him away. I didn’t need his protection. “Verizon doesn’t have a Hell plan.”

“Right.” He nodded curtly and moved right back into my personal space.

Whatever. There was no time to put Gareth in his place at the moment. If he needed to be an overprotective alpha-hole, so be it. If it made him feel better to think he was keeping me from harm, I’d let him believe the fallacy. However, a tiny voice in my head that I squashed with a vengeance kind of liked it. With a quick pinch to my arm, I reminded myself of my less than stellar taste in men.

An eerie silence fell over Ethan’s office as Astrid closed her eyes and raised her hands high. A gentle breeze floated around the room and gave me a chill that skittered up my spine. I wrapped my arms around myself and pressed my body against the wall. Astrid was incredibly powerful, but occasionally her magic went wonky and things blew up unexpectedly. We’d all heal from any injury incurred from a blast, but it might not be in good form to receive Satan with missing body parts.

Astrid chanted in a long-dead language as she sparkled like a beacon. We watched in awe as she swayed to an ancient rhythm only she could hear. Ethan and Gareth’s tension was palpable. My own fingernails bit into my arms. However, Satan adored his niece. The ramifications of Astrid summoning the Devil were far less dangerous than someone screwing around with a Ouija board. It wasn’t without risk, but Astrid was one of the very few that had Beelzebub by the balls.

“For the love of everything vile and illegal, this had better be good,” a familiar and ominous voice growled as Satan appeared in a blast of sparkling black glitter. The Devil was clad from head to toe in black Armani—both beautiful and scary. “And Astrid darling, the name is Satan, Prince of Darkness, Beelzebub, Lucifer or The Great Evil Handsome Devil. If you insist on calling me Uncle Fucker, I’ll start spending every weekend at your abode.”

“Fuck,” Ethan groaned.

“Quiet,” Astrid hissed under her breath. “He would never do that. Kentucky gets too cold for his fire loving ass.”

“I can hear you,” Satan said with an eye roll.

“It’s the truth,” Astrid argued in her defense. “You’re a total weenie about the snow.”

“Weenie resides in the same forbidden category as Uncle Fucker,” Satan said, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “It’s a good thing I enjoy your disrespect. Lesser beings wouldn’t be breathing after a crack like that.”

“That’s kind of a moot threat since I don’t breathe,” Astrid pointed out with a wide grin as Ethan let his head fall back and bang against the wall.

“So it is,” Satan agreed with a chuckle of pride at his niece’s insolence. “You pulled me away from a Hoarders marathon. What do you need?” Satan asked, taking in the occupants in the room.

The Devil was a huge and imposing man. His very presence changed the atmosphere in the office from stressed to menacing.

“I need a stay on my illness so I can go after Vlad and have the curse removed,” Gareth said stepping forward.

“Again?” Satan commanded.

“I need a stay on my illness so I can go after Vlad and have the curse removed,” Gareth repeated in a voice so calm I was amazed.

I suppose if you had very little to lose, Satan wasn’t all that scary. Either that or Gareth had a death wish.

“So, run this by me one more time,” Satan said in a silky smooth voice. He made himself comfortable on the couch in Ethan’s office grinning like a cat who’d eaten a pet store full of canaries.

“I know you’re not deaf,” Astrid grumbled. “Gareth repeated himself twice. Clearly you’re older than dirt, but I was unaware that True Immortals could have hearing issues.”

“Oh please, my beautiful, grumpy niece, I heard him perfectly. I just enjoy a bit of groveling.”

I stayed quiet and watched in abject fascination. I’d been in the presence of Satan a good handful of times, but his otherworldly beauty was always something to behold—and fear. As Astrid had explained over and over, Satan wasn’t evil personified like some referred to him. Evil existed because of free will—and God—Satan’s brother—had created that little doozy. Satan didn’t design sin. He simply punished those who chose that particular path. And he enjoyed his job. A lot.

“The favors I will owe you should negate the need for groveling,” Gareth said with very little regard to Satan’s position in the pecking order. “Tell me what you want and it will be yours, Devil. We’ve played this game before.”

“Is he talking to me?” Satan asked Astrid as his fingers began to spark. “Because if he is, that tone will get him an ass smiting that will last an eternity.”

“No, he was talking to the imaginary harbinger of evil sitting behind you,” Astrid groused. “Look, you can either do it or you can’t. If you can’t, we’ll call on someone else.”

“For the love of everything dishonorable, disgusting and corrupt. Of course I can do it,” Satan shouted, throwing a mini tantrum and setting the couch on fire. “Can’t I have any fun? It’s been boring in Hell lately.”

With a flick of her fingers, Astrid put out the fire with magic and rolled her neck in preparation to handle the most dangerous man in the Universe.

“Here.” Astrid shoved an electric pencil sharpener into his hands. “Play with this. I’m not in the mood for putting out fires tonight.”

“Can I keep it?” he asked as he took the gadget and examined it with interest.

“Would it matter if I said no?” she asked with a laugh.

“Probably not,” Satan replied with an answering laugh and then turned his attention to Gareth. “This will cost you—as you already know.”

“The price is immaterial,” Gareth replied.

“I’m quite sure you’ll live to regret that statement,” Satan purred.

“Possibly,” Gareth agreed with a lopsided grin and a shrug. “However, if I live, it will be my great displeasure to pay you back.”

“Holy Hell, you Vampyres are so much fun—balls and egos for days. Welcome back to the fold, Gareth. However, full disclosure, which mind you I’m not in the habit of doing because I’m not usually this generous, but you got me on a good day—there is another way.”

“To reverse the curse?” I asked, before I knew I was even speaking aloud. And what dealings had Gareth had with the Devil?

“Ahhhh, Venus. You’re a breathtaking sight for sore eyes,” Satan said as his eyes lit up with sexual interest. “It would be my great pleasure to take you away from here—not to mention one of my fantasies. The things I’d like to do to you…”

Gareth’s vicious growl made Satan bellow with laughter and prompted Ethan to step in front of his brother.

“Venus is under my Domain,” Ethan said in a cool tone, eyeing the Devil warily. “Poaching is against immortal law—as is kidnapping.”

“Your point?” Satan asked with a beguiling look of innocence on his face.

“Oh my Uncle God,” Astrid snapped, smacking Satan in the back of the head. “You’re an idiot, but I can solve this quickly.”

Gareth, Ethan and I froze. Who in their right mind smacked Satan?

“Venus is a grown woman and can make her own decisions. Do you want to date the Devil?” Astrid asked me with a barely suppressed smile.

“Um… while I’m wildly flattered… I’m seeing someone else right now,” I lied to Satan. Well, it wasn’t all a lie. I was flattered.

“Your loss, you beautiful creature,” Satan replied with a mischievous glint in his gaze. “No luck finding your True Mate yet?”

Staring at my feet, I shrugged and then raised my eyes to his. “No, and at this point I don’t expect to.”

Satan looked confused for a brief moment but covered it quickly. “Fascinating,” he said, glancing over at the still growling Gareth. “The curse is well crafted. Who knew Vlad was so adept at screwing with the natural order of things?”

“What do you mean?” Ethan asked. “And it wasn’t just Vlad. An Angel was involved.”

Satan nodded thoughtfully, his focus still on Gareth. “Yes, I’ll be expecting both of those despots in Hell eventually.”

“Okay,” Astrid said to her uncle, trying to get everyone back on topic. “You can do it. The question is will you do it?”

“Anticipation is so exciting, isn’t it?” he shot back with a wink. He then furrowed his brow and feigned deep thought. “Yessssss. I can and I will. Gareth, I shall let you know the payment.”

“When?” Gareth asked through clenched teeth, still trying to get himself under control.

“Eventually,” Satan replied easily. “However, I want Vlad. When you’re through with him, he’s mine. I’ve been practicing my water boarding techniques—I think he’d enjoy helping me out.”

“Our pleasure.” Ethan gave Satan a curt nod. “Although before we go through with this, I believe you said there’s another way.”

“Yes, I did,” Satan replied. “Gareth would you like to share what that might be?”

“No, Lucifer. I would not,” Gareth shot back.

“That will cost you another favor,” Satan said as he sauntered over to Ethan’s desk and began going through the contents of the drawers.

“I expected as much,” Gareth replied tightly.

“Hello,” Astrid said in her outside voice. “Don’t really like being left out of secrets.”

“You already know the answer,” Satan said staring hard at her. “I told you in the caves under Paris.”

“So I’m the odd man out?” I questioned, confused by the cryptic banter.

“Gareth?” Astrid prompted, letting him decide. She clearly remembered the other way as did Ethan who looked pained.

Ignoring Astrid, Gareth approached the giddy Devil. Discord was delightful to Satan and the room was full of it.

“Give me a stay on my illness. I will pay you what you choose. The other way isn’t possible. The curse has rendered that option moot—as you can plainly see.”

“So be it. The other option might not work once I’ve done this,” Satan replied as he stood to his full height and put his hand on Gareth’s forehead.

“I understand,” Gareth said.

“And there are a few caveats,” Satan continued.

“Of course there are,” Ethan muttered, which earned him a pissy glare from the Prince Of Darkness.

“The stay lasts a week. If you haven’t accomplished your goal, the curse will resume. However, it will accelerate.”

“Accelerate?” Gareth asked, looking far too calm at this new wrinkle.

The Devil nodded and gave him a tight-lipped smile. “To the point where you will be on real death’s doorstep.”

Wait. No.

What in the hell was Gareth thinking? We hadn’t been able to track Vlad down for months. One week? He’d be dead in a week if we didn’t find the evil bastard and reverse the curse. The chances of that happening were slim.

“No, it’s too risky,” I blurted out to the surprise of everyone including me.

Gareth’s shoulders tensed and his hands fisted at his sides. Ethan and Astrid exchanged cryptic looks.

“Ahhh the exquisite one speaks. I didn’t realize you cared,” Satan said to me while staring at Gareth.

“I… don’t,” I lied once again in the presence of the Devil. “I mean, I… um, we might not apprehend Vlad in a week. And even if we do, it might take more time to reverse the curse. That’s what I meant.”

“So you don’t care?” Satan pushed.

“No,” I lied a third time and waited to be zapped by lightening. No such luck…

“This is even better than Hoarders,” Satan said as he clapped his hands with glee. “Your turn, Gareth.”

“I could die in a day,” Gareth said tonelessly without sparing me a glance. “I have no idea how much longer I have. We have a lead. I have an option. It may be the only chance I have for myself and my siblings. Death comes in many forms. Immortality can be a very prolonged death. I’ll take my chances.”

What in the ever lovin’ hell did he mean by that? If he wanted to be an ass with a death wish, it wasn’t my problem. He wasn’t my problem. I wasn’t about to make him my problem. Shit, could this day get any worse?

“I actually might like you,” Satan mused, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes at Gareth. “Of course that won’t get you out of your payment.”

“I wouldn’t expect it to,” Gareth replied flatly.

“I don’t have all night,” Satan said as he sighed dramatically and cracked his knuckles with an evil little smirk. “Hoarders waits for no one.”

Speaking in a language similar to the one Astrid had used to summon him, the Devil closed his eyes. Magic filled the room and dulled my vision. The sound of Gareth’s excruciating cry as he dropped to the ground with a sickening thud felt like it ripped part of my soul away. But that was ridiculous. He meant nothing to me. I certainly didn’t want him to die, but…

“If you killed him, I will kick your ass,” Astrid muttered as she squatted down next to the unconscious Gareth.

My legs moved without direction from my brain and I too found myself on the ground next to him. He looked dead—for real dead.

“Interesting,” Satan said, watching me closely. “He should have waited a few days. The bastard might have gotten off scot-free.”

“What are you talking about?” I hissed, pulling Gareth’s arm out from beneath him so if he woke, he’d be comfortable.

“Nothing, darling,” Satan said silkily, eyeing me like I was on the menu. “If you change your mind about a little night out, let me know.”

On that note, he left in a blast of black and silver glitter—and with the pencil sharpener and a few other things he’d lifted off Ethan’s desk. He was some piece of work.

“I think I might be dead,” Gareth choked out with his eyes still closed.

“Nope,” Ethan said, relaxed now that the Devil had gone and Gareth was awake. “You look and sound alive to me. As a matter of fact, you look like you did before the curse.”

And he did. And something was wrong. Prickles of something I’d never experienced danced like needles beneath my skin and I felt faint. Standing was a chore as my body wanted to stay close to the mess of a man on the floor. All my instincts had gone haywire and the only sensible plan of action was to leave. I needed to get the hell out of the office before I did something wildly embarrassing and horribly inappropriate.

“Gotta go,” I whispered hoarsely as I forced my legs to walk through the door. “Let me know when you want me in solitary. Need to… um, sleep or run or, um…”

“You okay?” Astrid asked with concern as she watched me with unabashed curiosity and a small smile pulling at her lips.

Strangely, my Prince had the same expression. It was only Gareth who looked as pained as I did.

“I’m just tired and hungry,” I mumbled as I ran into the doorframe trying to make my escape.

WTH? I felt like I was drunk which was virtually impossible for a Vamp.

Leave. I needed to leave. Now.

“See you tomorrow,” I called out as I picked up speed and ran down the long hallway.

“Oh shit,” I heard Astrid say as I sped away. “This is going to be interesting.”

“Understatement,” Ethan added.

“Did Satan say the other way to break the curse might work or won’t work?” Astrid asked.

“Might,” Ethan replied.

“Thank Uncle God for that,” she mumbled.

If I wasn’t a massive bundle of weirdness, I would have turned around and demanded my friend and my Prince explain themselves.

However, I was pretty sure I didn’t want to know what they meant.