CHAPTER EIGHT
Keri
That night, despite the fact that the previous day had been so emotional, I slept well. Perhaps it was because Victor was buried and it felt like I’d gotten some sort of closure. I’d never get the revenge I’d always wanted but at least he couldn’t hurt anyone anymore.
The pain in my heart reminded me that my mother was going to die. Victor was going to take one last victim in death, and the loss of my mother wasn’t something I was ready to face. I pulled myself out of bed and got ready for the day ahead. I wanted to stay in bed and hide from the inevitable but hiding wouldn’t stop it.
I’d just finished getting dressed when I heard a knock at the door. I expected it to be Kyle but I was surprised to see Blake. I hated that just the sight of him made my stomach flutter with excitement. I had the urge to reach out and touch him but I stopped myself. I couldn’t let us touch until I could trust that he wouldn’t leave me.
“What do you want?” I asked him in a clipped tone, hating that, despite how he’d treated me, I was still attracted to him. I deserved his contempt but it didn’t make it easier to handle. If this was how I felt before we touched, I didn’t want to know how strongly I would feel once we’d made the connection with just a slight touch.
It was easier to deal with him when he’d been angry with me.
“I wanted to talk to you,” he said.
I bit my lip as I contemplated his request. Honestly I didn’t want to be in a confined space with him because I didn’t want him to accidentally touch me.
It wasn’t just that, since the more I was around him the more I wanted to give in to the desire to reach out and touch his skin with my fingertips. I didn’t know if that was the destiny of mates that pushed me to him or if it was just a basic attraction that made me want him.
He was like a drug I was addicted to and, no matter how much I fought, I knew the temptation would be too much to resist.
He was attractive, there was no disputing that. I remembered the first time I saw him leaning against a locker at school. I swear my heart had skipped a beat. His light brown hair hung across his forehead and I had an urge to run my hand through it. His green eyes were so beautiful and I could spend ages just staring into the depths of them.
My fascination with him had just grown from the first moment I’d seen him and the flutter inside my stomach grew stronger with every day that followed. Then one day he’d sat beside me in the cafeteria. I wished we could go back to that time when we didn’t have all this betrayal and deceit between us. In that moment he’d liked me and I’d liked him; it had been so simple.
Now we were mates fated to be together, but he hated me and I didn’t trust him at all. It was complicated.
“Fine,” I relented, stepping back so he could enter my room. His eyes scanned my small room. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for.
There was nothing personal about my room. It was like every other room. I didn’t have any photos or personal effects that would tell someone that it was my room. He turned to face me and I closed the door.
“What do you want to talk about?” I asked, already knowing he was going to push the whole mating thing again.
“Is there something going on between you and Kyle?” he asked, getting straight to the point—there was no beating around the bush. I hadn’t expected that and my mouth dropped open in surprise.
The question was so unexpected it took me a couple of seconds for the innuendo behind that question to hit me.
I frowned and then I burst out laughing.
Blake’s eyes narrowed and he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. I laughed so hard I nearly fell over. He remained quiet as he took in my reaction. It was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard and it was a few minutes before my laughter died down. I wiped the tears that had escaped and tried to keep the smile off my face.
“It wasn’t funny,” he stated with his face free of any emotion.
“It’s hilarious,” I countered. “What on earth made you think something was going on between Kyle and me?”
“You guys seem close. He seems very protective of you. Hell, he even gave you a nickname,” he explained as he scanned my features. He was jealous of Kyle.
“We aren’t close. I’m not close with anyone,” I argued as I crossed my arms in a defensive move. “I can’t help the fact that he gave me a nickname and I don’t know why he feels protective over me.”
He studied me for a moment. It was like he was trying to figure out if I was lying or telling the truth.
“I told him he could leave now that I was here and he said he wasn’t going to leave.”
I had no idea why Kyle hadn’t left yet, since it wasn’t like I needed two of them to watch over me.
“I’m not sure why you care,” I said, making a dig at him.
He studied me for a moment.
“Do I have to remind you that you belong to me?” he stated with the fierceness of the alpha that he was and a possessive sweep of his gaze. Being the beta of Cade’s and his pack at the moment was only a temporary arrangement. He was an alpha and there was no disputing the air of power that emanated from him.
“Funny, that. When you found out that little bit of information, you turned your back and walked away,” I reminded him. It was still hard to think about the rejection. Even now it still hurt.
“I told you I made a mistake,” he said, trying to reason with me as he took a step closer.
“Don’t,” I warned him, stepping back so I remained well out of his reach.
“I want you to stay away from Kyle,” he demanded, keeping his distance.
“No,” I replied without hesitation. There was no way I was going to allow him to tell me what to do, not after everything that had happened between us.
Anger and disbelief filtered onto his features.
“You gave up your right to tell me what to do when you walked away from me,” I told him. “You decided then that I wasn’t good enough to be your mate, and do I have to remind you that you’re the one who walked away?” I could feel the hurt and anger at his rejection start to fester inside of me. “You have no right to be jealous,” I finished, breathing hard from the emotions coursing through me.
“Despite everything, you belong to me,” he insisted fiercely and I saw his hands tighten into fists at his sides.
“I don’t belong to anyone,” I argued while I glared back defiantly.
There was no way I was going to meekly agree to what he wanted just because he decided to show up. I still didn’t trust that there wasn’t an ulterior motive.
“Don’t force my hand, Keri,” he warned, his eyes piercing mine with determination.
After living with my father for so many years and dealing with physical and mental abuse on a daily basis, there wasn’t a lot that scared me. And I was definitely not afraid of Blake and his threats.
“You can’t force me to be your mate,” I threw back at him. I put my hands on my hips.
“Yes, I can. If I touch you it is going to be a lot harder to keep your distance from me and you know that,” he explained with a confidence that made me angry.
As much as I hated to admit it, his threat wasn’t an empty one. He was right. It was one thing to resist him without the connection but if he touched me it would be a lot harder to fight the fate that joined us together. It was so unfair. He didn’t get to walk away and then come back when he wanted to. I’d been hurt and I wouldn’t allow him back without him proving that I could trust him.
“You wouldn’t,” I said, holding his gaze. It was like a powerful struggle between the two of us and the first one to look away lost.
“Yes, I would.”
“Don’t push me, Blake,” I warned him. I wasn’t some weak girl he could push around. It didn’t matter that he was my mate and I was attracted to him but, after dealing with someone like Victor, I wasn’t going to let anyone push me around.
“You have to earn my trust and until you do we don’t touch,” I told him. “If you try to push me on it I’ll get my guards to escort you off my territory.”
He studied me for a moment and pressed his lips together.
“Fine, but you need to give me a chance,” he replied. His eyes softened for a moment. “How am I supposed to gain your trust when you keep shutting me out?”
I bit down on my lip. It was hard letting someone in, especially when they’d already hurt me.
“I want to get to know you—the real you—but I can’t unless you are prepared to give me a chance,” he added, the tone of his voice reaching somewhere deep inside of me.
He was right but it was still going to be difficult to let him close to me.
“Fine,” I relented in an emotionless tone. I didn’t want to reveal how he affected me. Showing that was like showing a weakness that could be exploited.
He smiled and I felt my stomach flip. Stupid bloody chemistry.
I couldn’t pull my eyes away from his and for a moment I felt transfixed by his gaze. I had an urge to reach out and touch him. The voice of reason stepped in and took control as I broke the spell.
“I have stuff I need to do,” I mumbled before I reached for the handle of the door. I needed space away from him to clear my head. Being close to him made me want to go against logical thought and do what my heart wanted. It was a battle between my mind and heart, and the longer I was around him the closer my heart came to winning the fight.
“Fine,” he said, flashing that killer smile again and I swallowed hard as I felt the full effect of it. “I’ll see you later.”
I was momentarily distracted before I pulled myself together and got out of my room before I changed my mind and made a big mistake.
The medical center was my first stop. My mom was awake and I greeted her. She beamed at me. It was amazing how happy she was even though she knew her time was running out.
I tried to keep my outer appearance happy and upbeat but inside I couldn’t stop thinking about how little time I had left with her. It was also difficult to stop thinking about Blake and worrying about what his reasons were for wanting to mate. Despite what he said, I wasn’t convinced that he was telling me the truth.
I spent a little while with my mother before I pulled myself away so I could find Curtis and get an update on her condition. The bouts of coughing had worsened and her chest sounded really bad. Curtis was talking to a nurse when I approached him.
“Hey,” he greeted me with a smile and I felt myself relax for the first time that morning. The nurse gave me a brief nod before she left.
There weren’t many people that I let in and trusted, but Curtis I trusted completely.
“How are you?” he asked as he scanned my features. He knew how much of an emotional toll I’d taken the day before when I’d buried Victor.
“I’m okay,” I replied and he arched an eyebrow at me.
“What’s really going on?” he asked. He knew me better than sometimes I even knew myself.
“Blake wants to mate and I just don’t know if I can trust him and his intentions,” I said, opening up as I rubbed my forehead. “He said that he has changed his mind.”
“Maybe he’s being honest. Any guy would be lucky to be your mate,” he told me and I smiled at him. Sometimes Curtis could be too trusting.
“We’ll see, time will tell. I wanted to get an update on my mom,” I said as I felt the nervous knot form in my stomach.
I wasn’t expecting any good news but I was nervous about the degree of bad news. I needed to know how much time she had left and deep down inside although I knew she was going to die I was hoping to have a little more time than he’d initially told me.
He kept my gaze.
“It isn’t good,” he started and I felt the dread creep up inside of me. “I don’t think she will last another four days.”
Four days?
It wasn’t fair. Initially he’d said a couple of weeks and now we were down to a few days. I drew a sharp breath as I processed what that meant.
I felt the sting of tears as I felt Curtis pull me into a hug. I hated feeling weak but I gave myself a moment to lean against him before I took a deep breath and released it, trying to get over the shock. Emotions under control again, I pushed away from him and he let me go.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he brushed a stray piece of hair out of my face.
“I know.”
What little time my mom still had left was the most important thing to me. I would have to shift all my other responsibilities to other pack members to make sure I could spend every moment I could with her.
“I need you to do me a favor,” I said.
“Anything,” he replied softly.
“I want you to be my beta,” I told him. I didn’t trust anyone else the way I trusted him and I needed someone who would watch my back to be my second-in-charge.
He looked surprised.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “It might make it difficult in a fight if I have to see to the injured.”
It was a valid point, but I was sure we would be able to work around that.
“Yes, I’m sure. Will you?” I asked as I looked up at him.
“Of course I will,” he answered. “It would be an honor.”
I felt relieved. It had been weighing on my mind and now I felt lighter. I could concentrate fully on my mother.
“You okay to handle things for the next few days?” I asked.
“Yeah, of course,” he said, nodding his head.
I spotted Kyle walking toward us.
“Hi,” he greeted me and he gave a brief nod in Curtis’ direction.
“I’ll speak to you later,” I told Curtis as I indicated to Kyle to follow me.
“What’s up?” Kyle asked as he walked me out of the medical center.
Just outside, I stopped and turned to face him.
“What are you still doing here?” I asked.
“Remember I’m here to watch over you,” he explained, a little taken aback.
“I don’t need two of you to watch me,” I added.
He held my gaze as he ran his hand through his hair. It was like he was trying to figure out how to tell me something.
“I want to stay,” he said and I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Why?”
“Because you need someone to have your back, and I’ve got it,” he tried to explain.
“I don’t need you,” I told him in a cold tone, free of emotion.
“Why do you have to be so difficult? I want to look out for you until you have everything sorted out with the pack and the little problem of your ex-beta running around,” he said, sounding a little exasperated with me.
I studied him for a moment. It was like I was looking for any visible sign of deception but I couldn’t see any.
“Is it so bad that I want to be your friend?” he added and I felt a little guilty at being so hard to reach.
From the time I’d met him, he’d given me no reason to distrust him and he’d gone out of his way to keep an eye on me. He was even trying his hardest to form a friendship and I had to admit, as hard as I was to get close to, I was starting to feel more relaxed around him. But it didn’t mean I trusted him.
“I know that you’re not the person that you’ve portrayed to everyone and I see the real you inside.”
I swallowed hard at his words. He had a way with saying things that evoked emotions from me.
“Fine. Stay if you want,” I replied in a clipped tone with a shrug before I walked away.
It was getting more difficult to remain indifferent to him and I was starting to feel the emotional toll of dealing with Blake, my mom and him.