CHAPTER TWELVE
Keri
My throat throbbed with pain as I opened my eyes. My sight was blurry at first but as I focused I looked straight into a pair of green eyes I recognized as Blake’s.
"Hi," he said as he leaned a little closer. He smiled at me and the way he looked at me was different.
I winced when I tried to swallow. My fingers reached to touch my throat.
"Curtis said you'll be as good as new in a day or two," he added with concern when he saw my obvious discomfort.
I studied him for a few moments. Something felt different. I'd always been attracted to him but what stirred inside of me now was something deeper and stronger. He watched me quietly while I analyzed my new feelings.
I thought back to what I remembered before blacking out. Richard had tried to kill me again. My heart sped up as the memories came back. I don't know how he'd made it past the patrolling guards. My mind shoved that question to the back of my mind to deal with later.
Blake looked at me as if he was waiting for some sort of reaction from me and then I realized why I felt so different.
"You touched me," I whispered. It was more of a statement than a question.
He pressed his lips together as he gave me a brief nod, confirming my suspicion.
I wanted to be angry with him but my strongest emotion wasn't anger and I had an overwhelming need to touch him. Even after everything we'd done to each other, I wanted to feel the bond we shared.
Seeing the struggle within me, he reached out his hand to me. I eyed it for a moment before I reached and touched him. The completeness that blanketed me made me feel loved and peaceful. I hadn't felt a lot of that in my life and it was hard to keep my emotions under control.
One tear slid down my face and Blake brushed it away with his fingers.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to me as he leaned closer.
I was sorry too. So sorry that everything between us couldn't just get swept away so there was nothing standing in the way of us being together. But the reality was that despite the connection we'd formed, it still wasn't strong enough to make everything else fall away.
I bit my bottom lip as I tried to rein in my raw feelings as Blake watched me closely.
"I'm sorry too," I managed to whisper, trying to keep any more tears from escaping.
"I want to touch you," he whispered to me and I saw the pain in his eyes. His need was mirrored in me. I felt the same.
"Yes," I said softly, wanting to revel in the feel of his touch just for a few more moments before I pushed him away.
Slowly his fingers touched my cheek and I felt the connection that made us soul mates. I closed my eyes to concentrate on how the smallest touch could make me feel so much. His fingers trailed a path down my cheek and I felt my breath hitch at the new sensations his touch was waking up in me. I wasn't a virgin but I'd never felt a stirring of want like I did at that moment for him. I wanted so much more, but I pulled away from his touch and he frowned slightly.
"It's not that easy," I told him honestly.
"I know," he admitted. There was regret in his eyes.
We were different from Cade and Scarlett—our connection couldn't wipe the memories of the betrayal and deception by both of us.
"I'll do whatever it takes to get you to trust me," he promised me and I wanted to believe him. Life for me had been hard and my trust had been broken a lot so it was no surprise that trusting Blake with my heart wasn't going to be easy.
"Why?" I asked hoarsely, wanting to know his true motives. And who could blame me after what he'd come clean about.
"I nearly lost you today..." He paused for a moment. "I don't want to ever feel that way again. I decided to come after you after you stormed off. I wanted to give you space but I needed to sort things out with you so I followed you into the forest, giving you a little time to cool off. If I had shown up just a few minutes later..."
He'd been the one to save me. It explained why he'd touched me. His words touched me, but remembering what Richard had nearly accomplished made me angry. Yes, I'd put myself at risk by leaving the compound but with guards around the territory he shouldn't have been able to ambush me, but somehow he had.
"You willing to give me a chance?" he asked, looking at me expectantly, interrupting my train of thought. He'd saved my life so I felt like I owed him a chance to make things right between us.
I swallowed my emotion down as I gave him a nod. The smile that spread across his lips tugged at my heartstrings.
"I won't hurt you again," he said, needing to reassure me that I'd made the right decision.
His fingers touched mine and I felt our connection ease the turbulent emotions in me. I really hoped that his words were true.
"Sleeping Beauty is finally awake," Curtis said as he walked into my room, distracting me from my thoughts. My eyes moved to him and I waited for the inevitable lecture although it hadn't been my fault.
"From now on you won't step a foot off this property until you can shift. Do you understand?" he said firmly, sounding like a parent.
In the normal hierarchy of things, an alpha never took orders from a beta, but I nodded my head at him. I let him get away with it because I knew my attack had scared him. I felt Blake's hand tighten around mine and Curtis' gaze went to our hands, and he smiled.
"Good," he said. "You guys’d better mate soon."
My eyes found Blake's gaze and for a moment we just shared a look. There was no doubt about it—I wanted him on a physical level more than I'd wanted anyone.
At that moment Kyle strode into the room, looking frantically worried.
"I just heard what happened," he said as he came to stand on the opposite side of the bed from Blake.
"I'm okay," I assured him and I felt Blake's hand tighten around mine.
"God, it's becoming a full-time job keeping you alive," he said, trying to lighten the heavy mood, and I smiled.
"How are you feeling?" Curtis interrupted.
"Like I got attacked by an asshole hell-bent on taking over my pack," I muttered.
"How did he get past the patrols?" Curtis asked.
"Someone must have helped him," I said. The two alphas and Curtis shared a look.
The patrolling schedule was changed regularly so it wouldn't be easy to slip through. I'd changed the times of the schedule after Richard had left, which meant the only way he could have gotten past the patrols without getting detected would have been if he'd been given the information by someone who had access to it—a member of my pack.
I was in a vulnerable position, more so now that a traitor was feeding Richard information so he could try and kill me. It was a blow to my already weakened confidence at taking over the alpha role from Victor.
My eyes went back to Blake and then my gaze dropped to our hands. I wasn't sure if I was ready to take this step with Blake but my time was running out. I needed to be able to shift and that meant it was time to mate with him.
Kyle left, telling me he'd be back in a couple hours to check on me. Curtis checked me over before he disappeared, leaving me alone with Blake.
"I want to see my mom," I stated as I sat up. I felt weak but the determination to see her brought me to my feet.
I'd expected Blake to argue but he put an arm around my waist and helped me walk to my mom's room. She was sleeping peacefully and I didn't have the heart to wake her up so I watched her for a few moments as Blake stood beside me before I bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"You should get some more rest," Blake instructed while he helped me back to my room. He was right. I was tired by the time I got back into my hospital bed and Blake covered me with a blanket. I couldn't relax enough to sleep when I was worried about the traitor in my pack.
Blake scanned my features.
"I'll watch over you," he assured me. "Close your eyes and sleep. I won't let anything happen to you."
My throat thickened and I swallowed hard. He was so damn sweet and becoming harder and harder to resist.
Right then and there I made my decision to take the next step with Blake. He had a reputation at school of being a player so I was sure he knew what he was doing when it came to the bedroom. My few sexual experiences had been quick and awkward. I had nowhere near the experience his reputation suggested and that made me feel nervous.
Knowing he was watching over me and he wasn't going to leave, I closed my eyes and began to relax. The gentle stroke of his thumb against my hand eased me into a peaceful sleep.
Blake's face was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. He was watching me. He gave me a soft smile when he saw I was awake.
"Hey," he said as he pulled the chair closer to the bed. "How are you feeling?"
I was feeling much better. I didn't know if it was the painkillers or my increased werewolf healing that was responsible.
"I feel okay," I said as I tried to sit up. He stood up immediately and helped me. I looked up at him as I felt the warmth of his touch on my skin. For a few moments our gazes held. He felt the same way I did—I could see it in his eyes. Feeling embarrassed for the way I was feeling, I dropped my gaze to my hands.
My mom was the only person I'd ever truly loved and it had been used against me. What if this was another ploy by Blake? I cared about him but if I developed stronger feelings it would be harder to handle any more betrayal from him. I took a deep breath and released it as Blake sat down in the chair and watched me.
"Did you stay here all night?" I asked. I don't know if I was expecting him to say he hadn't and then I could use that to keep myself from falling harder for him.
"Yes," he answered. He'd stayed here with me the whole night? I could feel my heart swell with emotion at the small gesture.
I gave him a side-glance.
"I also checked on your mom," he revealed, and I stared at him in shock. "She was doing okay this morning but she's still deteriorating."
I just stared at him a little open-mouthed for a couple of seconds before I shut my mouth. It had been unexpected.
"Thank you," I said, sounding a little hoarse. He knew how much my mom meant to me so he'd checked on her.
"Curtis says you can leave today if you're feeling better," he said as he reached for my hand and his long fingers wrapped around mine. It was hard to believe that such small gestures had such a big impact on my growing feelings for him. I loved how I felt when he touched me. Now I understood why werewolves wanted to be together almost all of the time after they'd mated.
"Okay," I said, giving him a nod. I wasn't sure how to act around him now that I wasn't sure exactly what we were. We weren't your typical run-of-the-mill teenagers who'd fallen in love and were dating. We were werewolves fated to be together forever. It would take time to erase the memories of deception and hurt, but I did have hope that we would be able to work it out.
"You're not having second thoughts about us, are you?" he asked out of the blue. My eyes shot to his.
"No, I'm not," I reassured him, giving his hand a squeeze. It was nice to see him unsure of where he stood with me, especially from a player who was always so confident.
I liked the effect I had on him and it made me smile.
"I'm ready to mate," I blurted out. I'd never dated and I didn't have any experience about what was acceptable or not.
My statement had taken him by surprise.
"Are you sure?" he asked after he'd managed to recover a few moments later.
"Yes," I assured him. No one was forcing me into this. I wanted it and so did he.
It would enable me to shift into my wolf and make me stronger, but it was more than that. I wanted to make this thing between us work despite all the lies that had marred it, and I needed to be able to protect myself.
Twice I'd gone up against Richard and both times I'd nearly died. There would be a third time and I needed to make sure I was strong enough to kill him.
Blake's eyes brightened while he watched me and I felt a little self-conscious at the way he was looking at me. It was like he could see deeper inside me.
At that moment Curtis walked into the room and interrupted the moment I was having with Blake. He'd come to check me over before he discharged me.
"You can leave," he told me. "But just take it easy for the next day."
I gave him a nod to tell him I would follow his instructions.
"You keep an eye on her," he instructed Blake who was still in the room.
"I will," he assured Curtis.
Before I left I went to visit my mom. The bouts of coughing were getting worse and worse. It was hard to see the person you loved dying bit by bit and not being able to do anything for them. I wanted to be able to take the pain she was enduring and make it my own so she wouldn't have to suffer, but life didn't work like that.
Blake stood beside the door and watched while I talked to my mom.
"I love you, Mom," I whispered to her as she gave me a weak smile.
"I love you too, baby," she whispered hoarsely back. Her eyes moved to Blake briefly before they settled back on me.
"I want you to be happy, baby," she said. "I want you to find your mate and I want to know that you will be cared for."
I hadn't planned on telling her about Blake before but things were different between us and we were going to try to be the mates we were meant to be. Another thing that made me want to tell her was that she would be able to die knowing that I'd found my mate.
"I've found him," I whispered to her, giving Blake a side-glance.
My mom's eyes went to Blake and then they settled back on me.
"I'm so happy for you," she said, tears glistening in her eyes, true happiness shining in her pained features.
"Me too," I replied, feeling emotional at her response to my news.
"I'm trusting you to love and care for her," my mother told Blake. He walked over to me, stopping beside me before he rested his hand on my shoulder.
"I will," he promised my mom, and I felt my heart squeeze at his words.
"It's all I ever wanted for you—to be loved—and I can see you are," she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek.
Blake cared for me, it was part of the connection, but I think my mom saw what she wanted instead of what was really there. It would take a lot of work to get to a place where we loved and trusted each other. It was difficult to keep the emotion from my face and I felt the sting of tears. I'd been able to give my mom the peace she'd needed before she died, and that made me happy.
A little while later Blake walked me back to my room. I didn't have to invite him in, he walked in right behind me, seeming to be at ease around me.
"You need to take it easy," he reminded me. I didn't need any reminding, the ache in my body the telltale sign that I wasn't totally healed.
I dropped down onto my bed and Blake tucked me in. After my emotional visit with my mom, I needed him to be close. I needed the relief his touch gave me on my emotions.
"Will you hold me?" I asked. I never needed people, but I needed him now.
"Sure," he said as he kicked off his shoes and lay down beside me on the bed.
He opened his arms so I shifted into them and lay my head against his chest. I let out a sigh as I felt a peacefulness settle over me.
"Thank you," I murmured and his arms wrapped around me.
"No—thank you," he said as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.