Chapter Three

Lia

I stared at the phone the whole time it rang. Declan’s name flashed across the screen, as well as a picture of him. He was smiling his perfect smile that years of orthodontic work had perfected. He looked like the quintessential boy next door. Which he quite literally was.

The boy next door.

Declan and I had been friends since we were little kids. Our mothers were friends and our fathers played golf together. When we were younger, we used to ride our bikes in the street and made a secret clubhouse in his back yard. When we were teenagers, things got a bit awkward for a while until senior year when we got together. We were prom king and queen and voted ‘couple most likely to last’. We went to the same college and everything was perfect. We were perfect.

And then we weren’t.

The phone stopped ringing and I exhaled. I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding my breath.

“You have to talk to him eventually,” Anna commented, strolling into the kitchen. She pulled a carton of milk from the fridge and drank straight from it.

I shrugged. “I know.”

“You going to tell him about Jacob McGaren?”

I flushed. “Of course not.”

“Agreed,” she said. “I mean, it’s not like you owe him an explanation. And besides, nothing will come of you and Jacob.”

A flutter of something turned over in my stomach and I looked away, staring out the kitchen window at the morning sun which was just starting to break through the clouds. It’d been two days since that night with Jacob. That wonderful, fantastic, wish-I-could-repeat-it night. He’d been superb, everything I’d imagined and everything I’d been missing, and he made me feel as if I’d suddenly woken up as a sexual person, someone who had their own desires instead of….

I wasn’t quite sure how to finish that. Declan was the only man I’d ever slept with, until Jacob, and until a few months ago, I would have described my sex life as satisfying. I mean, we did it regularly, it was nice, he was always satisfied and sometimes I was too, although I didn’t always come and he didn’t seem to care if I did or not. It always just seemed like a bonus if I did.

But Jacob… He had made it seem as if his mission was to make me come and his orgasm was of secondary import. And the way he bossed me around, telling me to get undressed, to spread my legs … just thinking about it made me feel hot again and I wondered how far he would go, how bossy he could be.

And how much control I would be willing to give up to him.

Immediately, my mood soured because it was quite clear that our liaison was a onetime event. After fucking me senseless twice, he’d dressed, kissed me on the cheek, told me how great I was, and left. He never asked for my number, never asked to see me again.

Not that I was expecting more. He’d made no promises, in fact, he’d made it pretty clear that it was a one-night stand. And that was what I wanted from him. We were from two different worlds—he had commitments and I was quite literally running from mine.

“Earth to Lia,” Anna was saying now.

I turned back to her. “Sorry? What were you saying?”

She rolled her eyes. “I hope you weren’t daydreaming about Jacob McGaren?”

I flushed. “No. Of course not.”

She eyed me, my lie obvious. “Right. Anyhow, while you were staring out the window reimagining the best sex of your life, Declan called again. You really need to talk to him.”

“It was not the best sex of my life,” I argued. Another lie. “But you’re right. I’ll call Declan today.”

Anna nodded. “And good luck on your first day, too. Ellis and I are meeting for dinner tonight. Do you want to join us? You can tell me all about it then.”

 “Sounds good.” I nodded, just as a text came through from Declan. I sighed. Anna was right. I really needed to talk to Declan.

****

“About time, Lia,” Declan said into the phone by way of greeting. “I’ve been calling you for days.”

I drew in a deep breath and reminded myself to be brave. Declan and I were over. I did not owe him an explanation. “I can see that, which is why I’m calling. Declan, you have to stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop calling me.”

Silence greeted my statement. I could imagine him frowning on the other end of the phone, maybe rubbing his forehead the way he did when he was confused.

“Why would I stop calling you? I love you.”

“Declan…”

“Lia, how much longer are you going to keep punishing me? I’ve apologized. I’ve apologized profusely and you said you forgive me and yet…”

“And I do forgive you,” I assured him honestly. “I really do. But just because I forgive you doesn’t mean I want to marry you.”

“But why not? You wanted to marry me before.”

He had a point. I had wanted to marry him. I’d been dropping hints about getting engaged for months before he proposed, and after our engagement, I’d enthusiastically planned every detail of the wedding. Finding out that he’d cheated on me with Becky had been a blow, yes, but it’d been an even bigger blow to realize that I was relieved. That his infidelity had opened my eyes, made me realize I didn’t want to marry Declan at all, that I didn’t even want to be with him.

“Everything was different before,” I told him. “I was different.”

“You think you’ve changed?” he asked, his voice sulky. “You think your little holiday interstate has changed you?”

I thought about Jacob and how he’d made me come so many times I’d lost count and how he’d left me half-conscious, fully satisfied, and sleepy in my bed as he crept out in the early hours of the morning. “Yes. Yes, I have changed.”

“No, you haven’t,” he argued. “You’re still Lia. You’re still the girl I’ve known since I was five. You’re still the only girl I’ve loved and you’re still the girl I want to marry.”

“Declan…”

“I’ll give you some time,” he continued, “to have your revenge or whatever it is you think you’re doing. But Lia, I can’t wait forever.”

“I’m not asking you to! I’m not asking you to wait for me because I don’t plan on coming back, and I don’t plan on changing my mind. I love you, you know that. I will always love you, but not in that way.”

He snorted. “I’ll wait, Lia. You’ll change your mind.”

I sighed and hung up the phone, staring at it for the longest moment. I couldn’t keep speaking to Declan. He had to stop calling. We’d had this conversation countless times and each time it just seemed to fall on deaf ears. I honestly had no idea on how to convince him that I didn’t want to marry him and that I wasn’t doing all this for revenge. He didn’t listen to a word I said. Not even moving away seemed to convince him I was being truthful.

Tucking my phone away in my purse, I decided not to think about Declan anymore. It was my first day of work and I was excited to meet the second graders I would be teaching.

I would think about Declan another time.