Chapter Four

Jacob

 

Ava threaded her hand into mine and my heart skipped a little beat. Such a simple thing. Something she did every day as I walked her into school and yet every time she did it, my heart turned over. Tilting her head back, she smiled up at me, her big blue eyes almost too big for her sweet little face. She had my eyes, thank God. Once, before Tara found her way into drugs, I’d wished for our children to have her eyes, but those eyes were gone now, replaced by glazed, desperate, void pits that gave nothing away of the girl she’d once been.

Such a fucking waste.

“I have a new teacher today,” Ava announced.

“That’s right.” I vaguely remembered the email from the principal announcing the previous teacher had retired and starting today, Ava had a new teacher. A Miss Henley, I think it said. I hoped she was nice, and understanding. I made a mental note to make an appointment with her, to explain the situation surrounding Ava and Tara and me…

I followed Ava down the corridor and waited as she unpacked her bag before we went inside the class. The new teacher was hovering by the door, busy greeting her new students. I didn’t notice her at first.

“Hello, I’m Miss Henley.”

“I’m Ava McGaren,” my daughter said confidently, “and this is my daddy.”

Swallowing over the tight knot in my throat, I raised my eyes to meet hers. And it was, although in those few moments before I saw her I was desperately hoping it wasn’t … her.

Lia. Lia Henley. I hadn’t bothered to ask her last name the other night, not that it would have changed anything. I wouldn’t have realized she was Ava’s new teacher. I was thinking about nothing but getting laid. A one-night stand with someone I would never see again. A girl who was visiting from interstate, staying with her cousin.

Her face colored, from embarrassment, I guessed. The pink stretched up over her throat and cheeks. Despite that, she kept her chin tilted up a little, which made her look a little snooty and I was reminded of the look she’d given my car the other night. Her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail and she wore black pants and a white shirt. There was nothing overtly sexy in her outfit, but still, maybe remembering the other night, I felt myself react. Shit. This was not good.

She stared at me long and hard, the shock of seeing me too transparent on her features. There were a lot of other kids and parents around and I really didn’t need any more gossip, so I quickly thrust out my hand as if just meeting her for the first time.

“Jacob McGaren,” I said pleasantly, “nice to meet you.”

Her soft hand slipped into mine and I had to almost steady myself, the urge to pull her toward me and kiss her was almost overwhelming. Whoa there, I told myself, steady.

“I’m Miss Henley,” she replied, her voice quiet and catching a little, “the new teacher.”

I nodded, wondering how I hadn’t thought of this the other night. Had she mentioned she was a teacher? I couldn’t remember. But I know I mentioned I had two daughters. Why did she not think…?

“We are so thrilled to have you here,” another mom was saying now. Lia withdrew her hand and turned her attention to the mother who was giving her a welcome lecture like she was the fucking queen.

I turned my attention to Ava, giving her a hug and kiss and promising to pick her up later before I left. Hurrying away from there as fast as I could. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I screwed Ava’s teacher? That was not good. That was not good at all.

As I headed out to my car, I felt Laura Belling fall into step beside me.

I really didn’t need this right now.

“Jacob, hi,” she said, a little breathlessly. Had she run to catch up with me?

“Laura.”

“I was wondering,” she began, “if Ava wanted to come for a playdate with Hannah?”

“That’d be great,” I replied civilly. “When?”

“Well, what about Friday? Butch is heading out of town for the weekend and I thought it might be nice for Hannah—and me—to have some company while he’s gone.”

I turned to face her. “I’m sure Ava would love the playdate. I have to work late on Friday so I’ll get Gillian to pick her up afterward.”

Laura’s face fell. “Oh, you don’t have to bother Gillian. I can keep Ava until you’re ready to pick her up yourself.”

“Gillian doesn’t mind,” I replied easily. “I’ll ask her now when I get to work. Thanks!”

I headed off, not giving her a chance to reply, not wanting to hear what other excuse she had for getting me to come over while her husband was out of town.

Laura was the last thing I needed right now. Not when I had too much of Miss Henley on my mind.

****

The day passed quickly and by the time I returned to school to pick up Montana and Ava, I’d already decided what I was going to do. Nothing. There was no reason that there should be any problems between Lia—Miss Henley—and myself. We’d had a one-night stand. That was all. It was over. She was my daughter’s teacher, which was an unfortunate coincidence, but nothing I couldn’t handle. We were both adults.

As soon as Ava saw me, she cried and jumped into my arms like she hadn’t seen me for a month, and not just a few hours. Then she untangled herself and raced off to play with her friends in the playground just outside the class, forgetting me just as quickly. I watched her go and turned to Miss Henley, who lingered by the doorway, a flush on her cheeks and some purple paint in her hair.

There were a few parents lingering nearby. I glanced at them, choosing my words carefully when I spoke. “I—um—was hoping to see you,” I said, maybe a little too loud, “to discuss a few things.”

Her eyes went round.

“About Ava,” I clarified, “and her circumstances.”

“Oh, I see.” She glanced at the other parents and then back at me. “I have a few minutes now.”

“Now?” I looked over at Ava running around with her friends in the playground. There were lots of parents around and a teacher on duty. We often stayed afterschool so the girls could play with their friends in the playground. I nodded to Montana. “Tany watch Ava, okay? I’m just going to chat with Miss Henley.”

Montana nodded and sat herself down on the bench to do as I asked. She was always like that. A mothering hen. Lord knew there needed to be a mothering symbol in our lives. Their mother was a waste of space and mine was even worse.

I followed Lia into the class, noting how neat and tidy it was and how the air around us seemed to prickle with tension.

“Miss Henley…” I began.

“Lia,” she corrected. “It is fine to call me Lia, and besides, I think it’s a little late for formalities.”

I nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me you were a teacher?”

She frowned. “I did, didn’t I?”

I would’ve remembered. “No. And I told you I had children. Did you not think…?”

She shook her head. “No. I didn’t think at all. I’m so sorry…”

I stared at her. Sorry? Did she think I was blaming her for this? Shit, that wasn’t what I meant. I simply wanted to make some kind of sense of this mess. “It’s not your fault. And besides, I wouldn’t change what happened.”

Color crept up her throat at my words and she stared at the floor. It was a long moment before she raised her eyes to mine. “I’m Ava’s teacher.”

“And I don’t think what happened between us breaks any kinds of laws,” I assured her. It didn’t, I’d looked it up at work. “But I think it would be best if we kept this to ourselves.”

She blinked at me. “Of course.”

“You’re new in town, Lia. You don’t want to get off on the wrong foot, and believe me when I say that having your name associated with mine would most definitely be getting off on the wrong foot.”

“I don’t care what people think,” she said, lifting her chin a little.

I smiled. “Yeah, you do. And the people in this town love to gossip. They love to pull people’s lives apart, dissect them, and then make completely uncalled-for judgements.”

The bitterness in my voice must have been evident because she stared at me for a long moment, a kind of sadness in her eyes. “You sound like you speak from experience.”

“I do,” I told her shortly. “Which is what I wanted to talk to you about. Ava.”

She nodded. “Go on.”

“Ava’s mother and I.” I paused. I hated talking about Tara. I hated even thinking about her and I especially didn’t want to bring her up to someone like Lia, who was so sweet, so untarnished. It felt like comparing a rotten apple to a sweet treat. “Well, we aren’t together and there is a court order involved. She has no access to the girls at all, and while for the most part that doesn’t really bother her, since she doesn’t give a shit about the girls, sometimes—usually when she’s broke or been kicked out by her latest boyfriend—she thinks she wants to be a mother again and starts coming around.”

“I see.”

“It’s been a while,” I assured her, “and I don’t expect trouble, but just so you know. If she shows up at the school, there is a procedure in place to call the police.”

She nodded. “The principal has already gone over all that with me.”

Of course. I knew that. I mean, had I let myself think about it I would’ve known that that would’ve happened. But then I wouldn’t have had a reason to talk to her, would I?

“Right. Well. So, long as you know.”

She smiled. “Ava is a sweet girl. You’ve done a great job raising her.”

I met her eyes, which were warm and honest. A lot of women told me I was doing a great job with the girls and I had no shortage of babysitters or people offering to help. As judgemental and gossipy as this town was, they were also very supportive, for which I was always grateful. Even Miranda, who bought my studio, had hired me back on simply because she knew I needed the work. If it wasn’t for her, I’d probably be stacking shelves at the local Walmart.

But for some reason, hearing the compliment from Lia, from a teacher, from someone experienced with children, from someone from a good background, who was sweet and honest. For some reason, her compliment warmed me in a way I’d never felt before.

Shit.

This was not good.