Ash was just about to wrap her up in his arms and start to undress her when she pushed him away. It wasn’t the kind of teasing push that would have brought him back in for more. This meant no.

And he’d felt it—the no moment—like it was coming at him from right inside her. He stepped away, his back hitting the two-way mirror, and stared at her. How was he feeling… what she was feeling, from inside himself?

“What was that?” he said, trying to leash the burn that was coming up from the inside when he thought about that no.

“I can’t do this.” Her tears hadn’t really stopped, and those little trickles down her cheeks made him crazy.

“I’m not going to force you to do anything.”

“But Aaron did.” She shook her head, walking around the room like Junior Psycho waiting for his alpha. “Gods, I can’t believe I let him do it. But he’s right, you know. If we’re mates, then it only makes sense to do the bond, it’s just…” She let out a long, frustrated noise that seemed amplified by her tears. “This wasn’t part of the plan.”

Ash let the words land. He sensed it would go better for him if he let her get out whatever she needed to get out.

“Yes, I messed up your plans,” he said, encouraging her to go on by reflecting back what she’d said. It was a skill his therapist had taught him after his mother left. It usually worked with Lisa.

“No, Ash, don’t you see?” Helena came toward him, moving faster than she should have been able to. A wolf thing? “Ugh. My grandfather is going to kill me. And then he’s going to kill you. And then he’ll probably kill Aaron, just for fun, and my cousins might blow up the whole VonBrandt house. Like. Poof! Or boom, or whatever noise it makes. But they are going to be so pissed about this.”

“Wait. Why will your grandfather care who you got bonded to?”

“Because wolves bond wolves in the Quade family.” Helena rounded on him, holding up her tattooed wrists. “He’s going to see these, and…gods, I didn’t even think about that…I can’t hide these from him. We should never have bonded. It would have been so much easier to just stay separate. At least then my grandfather wouldn’t go on a war path, and he wouldn’t…” Her lip trembled, but when Ash tried to reach for her, to comfort her, she pushed his hands away.

“Helena,” he whispered, reaching again. “Will you let me hold you, woman? Dammit. I can feel all this fear building up in you like a thunderstorm on the prairies. You’re about to loose a twister up in here. Hell.” He finally got his hands on her arms, and despite all her protesting, dragged her to his chest. “Just…calm…down…”

“There is no calming from this,” she said, sniffing against the naked skin of his pectoral muscle. “Aaron has no idea what he’s done to us.”

“You really didn’t want to bond with me, did you?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but he couldn’t hear whatever noises she made, if any of them were words. They were so quiet.

“If Aaron is the one in charge around here, then don’t we have to do what he says? I mean, what’s the point of having territory, if you don’t run it. Like the mob, right?” Ash stroked her hair, trying to make things better, but her anxiety only rose. He could feel it through this weird bond thing they shared. She was feeding him her emotions, and he couldn’t stop them.

“I never should have gone to that bar,” she whispered.

Those words landed hard on his chest, like a physical blow. She actually regretted meeting him. Shit. And he’d forced her into the bond, believing there was some kind of love hiding under all her bluster. But she didn’t love him at all. Last night clearly hadn’t rocked her world the way it had rocked his.

Of course, how could he not have seen it? She’d pulled away from him at every turn. Why had he assumed that there was still hope? That she’d want to stay with him just because he’d decided to finally stop running.

The same reason he’d assumed there was hope until the day his mom ran out. Because he was a sucker for a good story and a silver lining. And his mother had been the queen of silver linings. Even the note she’d left upon assigning her twelve-year-old daughter to the care of her eighteen-year-old son, had been full of gems he could remember to this day: this way, you don’t have to take care of me anymore…your sister loves you more than she loves me anyway…you’ll be better off without me.

Shit.

This was turning out just about as well as that long-ago day in October.

Helena didn’t think he was a good enough mate for her, and maybe she was right.

Ash stepped back to the mirror, crossing his arms and staring at her, a hard glare. It was time to self-protect, or he was going to get hurt again. Hurt in a way that no amount of hope or optimism could fix. He should know. He’d been burying that kind of hurt for ten years.

He was a damn pro.

* * *

Helena missed him the second he released her. Grief rushed through her like water in a dry gully. “Ash, I—” she started, but there wasn’t anything to say.

She couldn’t take it back. She shouldn’t take it back, no matter how much she wanted to have him. If he stayed near her, he was in danger. Bottom line.

“Sorry you’re stuck with me,” Ash bit out, the anger in his voice slicing through her heart like a knife. “Why didn’t you tell me you were a wolf, anyway?”

“It’s not something we’re allowed to tell people, unless—”

“Unless you end up being mates with them? If you’re so worried about your family not wanting you to be with a human, what the hell were you doing sleeping with one?” His eyes flashed and burned. His arms were still crossed defensively over his chest. He hated her already and she deserved it.

Her body curled in on itself under his barrage. The words were painful and angry, but the anguish beneath them cut and ripped at her insides like she’d swallowed a handful of broken razor blades.

“I was drunk!” She screamed out, trying to push back on the flood of emotions coming from him. “You were drunk. I had no idea. Gods…I have to…I have to go… I can’t do this.”

She backed toward the door, toeing off her boots as she went. She had to put some distance between them. No matter how much it hurt, it would be better if they were apart. Her parents had always said it was easier. That distance made it more bearable.

Ash lifted an eyebrow and stepped toward her. Some of his anger was morphing into curiosity. She had to get out before he stopped her.

She hurried, pushing through the open door into the large hallway on the other side of the room, and shimmying out of her jeans and panties in record time. Then her shirt and bra. She stood in front of him for just one second, naked and wishing things could’ve been different. Wishing she could have him completely. Wishing she hadn’t ruined his life. Wishing Fate had made a better choice.

She saw the moment when he realized what she was about to do.

“Helena.” Her name came out so softly, but she heard it all the same.

“If I’d known we were mates, I would’ve stayed away from you. I never would’ve done this to you on purpose. I’m so sorry, Ash.” She turned on her heel and shoved the door open, shimmering into her wolf form as she went. She could hear Ash’s footsteps behind her, but she never looked back.

Eyes on the forest. Keep running. She couldn’t be with Ash. She loved him too much. She had to stay away. She had to protect him from her grandfather’ s wrath.

Run faster.