Eleven
What was she doing? Sophie watched him begin to climb the natural ladder, her heart burning bright. He was so…so much. He made her skin tingle and buzz and her pulse race. She’d never felt such strong and instant attraction to anyone. And he was an effing dryad! Her life was already a tangle of explosive fuses. He would be the fire that ruined everything. He would burn her down. So why did she call him back after she’d effectively asked him to leave?
Because she damn well wanted to. Rage flared through her veins. He wanted to be a part of the tiny corner of the world that was hers? This gorgeous man wanted to be near her? He wanted the truth? Fine. She’d speak it, to him, and to herself.
“Wait!”
He jumped down easily and faced her, smiling. Her heart gave a little start. He was so hot. He had one dimple in his cheek and a cleft in his chin. His dirty blond hair hung past his shoulders and his eyes…goodness. The midnight sky of his eyes offered her the open horizon she longed for and washed her in dark heat. And he was strong and solid. When he pulled her back from the edge and held her against him, she felt it. He did have the seasoned body of a warrior. He could hurt her if he wanted.
He was a stranger.
He was a risk.
She didn’t care. She didn’t just throw caution to the wind, she smashed it at her feet with a vengeance.
“Alright. You can watch.”
She didn’t know what she was doing with him exactly but she knew it was reckless… Reckless felt good.
She turned on her heel and strode into the cave. He walked close behind her. She didn’t look back at him and he made no noise, but she felt him like the heat of a fire on her back. Was she dreaming? It felt like it. Every element of this present moment was bizarre.
Her art floated, suspended in the mineral air, illuminated and pulsing. She walked into the midst of it all and let it surround her. She glanced nervously at Eli. He moved to the side, leaning against the wall. She closed her eyes. What did she feel? What did she want to let loose?
She curled her hands into fists, the pressure filling them up. Don’t think. Don’t restrain it. Just let it happen. Don’t be ashamed. Was it possible he could really understand the subtle nuances in her art? He’d known the bird thing was longing. Perhaps he only knew that because he could feel the emotion of it since it was inside him in a way. What about the rest? Could he really see?
She pinned him with a sharp look.
He raised his eyebrows questioningly. “What?”
She walked to the back of the cave next to the dark opening she hadn’t dared venture into yet and pointed at one of her paintings. The edges of the abstract form jutted sharply. She thought it looked angry but she wasn’t feeling anger when she made it.
“What is this?” she asked him.
He came closer and looked at it. “Shock as innocence was lost.”
“What…I mean…how…” she stammered.
He smiled. She recovered.
“What about this one?” she pointed at another one with deep teal lines that looked like the surface of the water.
“Fear your lies will unravel.”
Sophie swallowed hard, her breathing hitched. “Okay, what about that one?” she pointed at the painting of the baby.
He gazed at it thoughtfully. “There is a lot connected to this one.”
She crossed her arms feeling a small spark of smugness. “Stumped?”
“No…but there is no easy answer. I could answer one hundred different times and each answer would be right… It is the unknown. A direction you are bound on, but the path is in the darkness. You cannot see the way. Have I passed your test yet?”
Shivers lifted on her skin and she nodded. He went back to where he’d been and leaned back against the wall. She moved to the center and her hands relaxed open, she lifted them. Emotion swelled and surged out. It was a mess. A disjointed tangle of confusion. The lines of muddied color and light painted her own eyes, filled with fear and sorrow and despair. At first, they were brown as they were in real life. Then she glanced at him. Her lips parted. The force of his gaze pushed slowly into hers quickening her pulse, disorienting her thoughts. He shouldn’t be here like this. It felt illicit. As if he was a voyeur. The thought was arousing.
She pressed her lips tightly together and flicked her fingers over her painting. I don’t care what happens now. He’ll see this. I don’t care what’s next. Let him see. A new layer of green brushed over the brown as she poured the nameless feeling she’d had deep inside when he held her beside the ledge. Her gaze cut to him and she watched him look into what she’d just added. No shock came into his eyes or features. He stared at her new painting for a moment then he looked straight into her eyes.
“That’s a dangerous invitation…I want to kiss you. Right now.”
She smirked. “You’re oddly direct.”
“If I was walking along and fell into a pit, it would be stupid of me to act as though I hadn’t. Don’t you think?”
“I suppose it would.”
He pointed at the image of her eyes. “You create such a thing with wild abandon and you accuse me of being direct?”
“Why do you want to kiss me?”
His eyes were black naturally, but at that moment, the color tunneled even darker. Black burned blacker. “You know why…” His voice was as dark as his gaze. “Attempt to deny it. Either that or say it.”
She trembled, feeling as though she were falling. “Oh, gosh,” her whisper shuddered. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m going to say it.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and waited, completely unembarrassed.
“You want me…You connect with my art. You see what I’m feeling when the meanings are hidden. I excite you. It doesn’t matter that we just met. You think I’m beautiful. It doesn’t matter this is impossible. Language is unnecessary. Words…cannot mask.”
He stopped leaning and stood upright. “I’m convinced I’m dreaming, Sophie.” He took a step toward her. She took one toward him as well, so they were only a foot apart. “You said you were raped. Because of that, I’m not going to reach out and take what I want, even though I could. Even though you’ve invited me in with your demeanor and dared me with your painting. I’m going to ask and honor your answer. May I kiss you?”
Permission. Did she dare give it? She had already, but if she never said it…Her gaze roamed over him and settled on his neck where she could see the tip of the smudgy wing of her longing. Then she looked at his pulse thumping in the vein under his ear. It was steady while hers was erratic. She looked at his lips, unconsciously licking her own. Trial... Venture... Risk... Taste.
Shivers rose on her skin and she swallowed. “Yes.”
He didn’t hesitate and he didn’t rush. It was a simple action. Just his mouth against hers. Nothing more than a pleasant pressure. Nothing more at least for the first second. Blood and hunger flooded into her lips as he overtook all of her senses. He smelled like the forest after the rain and he tasted of life. Thriving, reaching, verdant life. Perhaps she was naïve, but not for one second did he seem to be trying. He wasn’t trying to show, or impress her with his prowess. He wasn’t trying to heat her up so he could move to the next level as quickly as possible. There wasn’t any trying. He kissed her without any ego.
As if she had stumbled across a hidden treasure, amazed, tempted, and greedy she had to have more of this unknown taste. Like a child, coaxed into trying a new flavor, and at the first touch of it to the tongue realize in a rush, it’s their favorite and always will be. That was Eli’s kiss. His mouth, the shape, the taste. She could gorge on this until she broke apart. Every other kiss she’d experienced had been poison and this was pure water.
His hands held her as he possessed her slowly. It wasn’t like being with Tristan. It wasn’t like any other time she’d been in a man’s arms. Against him, surrounded by him, she relaxed as she never had. Safe. Small, utterly feminine, and protected. That’s what she felt. His strength was hers now. He’d lend it to her.
Thunder cracked outside. Reality jolted her with freezing cold and she pulled away from him, horrified. Too late.
“This is impossible. This can’t happen for so many reasons. We can’t—“
He captured her mouth again fast and hard. Then he broke away chuckling. “Do you feel better now that you stated the obvious and also irrelevant? Are you sorry? Cause I’m not. I’m not sorry at all.”
“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I’m not sorry, and yet I’ve never felt more regret.”
She tilted her chin up, her lips begging his. He kissed her again and she wound her arms around the back of his neck. Yes. She thought desperately. This. So much this.
“I have to go, while I have the will to make myself. I have to see my grandfather, then I have to see the rest of my family, and none of them can know what I’m hiding.”
“What are you hiding, Sophie?”
She groaned, pulled away, and walked to the mouth of the cave, staring out. He stood beside her.
“I don’t know you. You know too much about me, but it’s all in the abstract. I have to go.”
“I’ll promise you the same as you have promised me. I will tell you the truth. You can ask me anything and I’ll answer.”
Her lips quirked up. “Is that so? Did you mean what you said about my ass?”
He circled her, slowing down behind her as he went, taking his time gazing at her body. A seductive devil was in his smile. “Absolutely.”
She giggled. The lightness of the sound and feeling shocked her. How long had it been since she’d laughed?
“When will I see you again?” he asked.
Words were pushing in her throat. Haughty statements that they wouldn’t see each other again and other things of that nature, but she couldn’t bring herself to say them. They would see each other again. She didn’t know when or how but trying to deny it was pointless. She turned her body so she faced him fully.
“I know I’ll think about you until we meet again. But in my mind, I’ve put you here, in my cave. You exist only among my images, as if you are one, too. I’m probably more than half crazy, Eli. The lies I live…” she shook herself. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters in this place. If you and I are ever in this place again together, it cannot matter. Can you accept that?”
“I accept nothing," his voice was rough. "I’m not supposed to be here. I care about loyalty, perhaps above everything, and yet I commit betrayals, some subtle, some opaque, some I have no gage to their severity. Touching you will no doubt be added to the strikes against me.” He reached forward and took her hand, bringing it to his lips. For a moment he stared at the top of her hand, rubbing his thumb over and over the place he’d just kissed. “This feels something like fear. It’s not…”
He dropped her hand and walked away abruptly. She stood still and watched him leave the cave. Objection shouted all over her skin as he left. The absence of him made her feel as though something had just been ripped from her.
∞∞∞
Eli pulled himself up with the rocks that jutted out of the ground. He stood on the top of the small mountain and looked out over the Wood. He just stood there for a few moments under the angry clouds, excitement and elation running all through him. Sophie. Unusual, talented, vulnerable, beautiful, seductive, forbidden… These were the words he ascribed to her. He felt a rush as if his veins were filled with a tingly breeze. He felt high. The sensations inside him were totally foreign. He'd never felt such things before. He would not have thought it possible. The ecstasy of what he felt was short-lived as he abruptly remembered where he was supposed to be and why.
Guilt slammed into his chest like a physical blow. He had no right to feel what he felt. He had no right to spend time with Sophie. How could he desire her? How could he be so despicable? Was this how Ler felt when he first laid eyes on Shi? He'd never felt any pity for Ler. At least not until now.
Urgent to join his people, Eli began running. The physical exertion did nothing to shake his guilt. He hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't put himself in her path for any reason other than to save her life. And he had… Or maybe he had. She might not have jumped. But still, he'd only reacted, his protective nature taking over and he had rushed to help. What happened after wasn't his fault. And it wasn't hers either.
So what did that mean? It meant he should never see her again. He knew that was the answer as soon as it came to him. The answer was hateful to him. The answer was pain and he felt nothing but wrath toward it. He ran faster, harder, burning through his emotions. What was he thinking? What was wrong with him? So what if he found her enticing? So what if he tasted bliss on her lips? So what if she was the most special creature he'd ever encountered?
She said if they were ever together again it couldn't matter. That was the only way, he acknowledged. It could only be a game between them and that was all. His traitorous mouth smiled without his consent. He'd play. He'd play as long as she played. And it would never be anything except a game. Never. He swore it to himself.
He slowed his pace as he entered the boundary of the Wood. He felt it in his feet, the anguish in the ground, the grief that wrapped around every root in the soil. His lungs constricted as he prepared himself to learn the reason, to learn the identity of those who had been lost. It was easy to find his way to the place everyone gathered. There was so much weeping, it overtook his hearing, the sound sliding down into his heart where it planted a bitter seed.
Nel and Dez were laid out on the ground beside one another in between their trees. Whenever a dryad died it felt like a double death because there was always two bodies, the corporeal form, and the tree. All the color was gone from Nel and Dez. All their leaves had fallen to the ground in the bark had turned a gray. Their corporeal bodies, savagely torn up, likewise had lost any variance of color and were now petrified like statues.
Across the crowd, Eli caught Lex's eye and jerked his head in a come here motion. Lex came over to him and the two of them moved off from the congregation to speak privately.
"Where have you been?" Lex kept his voice down.
Eli ignored his question. "What happened?"
"Wolves, at least two, in beast form. No one heard or saw anything but they left tracks."
"What about the little girl?"
Lex grimaced. "She's dead too, but nobody has found her body yet… I think they took her out of the Wood."
Objection and outrage flared in his brain but he pushed it to the back, cold reason taking over.
"Why would they do this? Why would they kill the child?" Lex asked helplessly, his voice breaking.
Eli closed his eyes and tried to think. "Revenge… I think it was Tristan, Callen, and Satran. I think they did this to get revenge for Ansel."
"But that was an accident!"
"You think those bastards care?"
Lex grabbed his arm. "Do you think this is all? Do you think they're satisfied? Or do you think there will be more?"
"I can't even begin to try and comprehend the thoughts and motivations of individuals that could kill like this. People they had no grudge against. People who had done nothing and could do nothing to them. I can't imagine the inner workings of someone who could kill a little girl like that… Tristan likes to provoke and he's good at it. You know that as well as I. If he was behind this, he's trying to instigate something."
"Well he's gonna get what he asked for," Lex snarled. "No one is going to let go of this. Whoever is behind this… if they wanted to start a fight, they just succeeded."
∞∞∞
Weighed down with grief and outrage in equal measures, Ler climbed into his trunk where Shi waited for him. She collapsed into his arms and cried quietly. He stroked her hair and rubbed her back.
"Guard duty has already been assigned for tonight," he told her.
She sniffled. "What are we to do, Ler?"
"We have to do whatever is necessary to protect ourselves. And yet saying words like that, whatever is necessary, sends a chill through me. I've stood on this line before, where circumstance or enemies have pushed you into a place you don't want to be in. I'm so afraid of making a mistake, Shi. I'm not the King, but you and I are the oldest, and they all look to us as if we are their parents. But the first generation is grown now…" He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against the top of her head. "They are young adults, but they are adults."
"Yes," she breathed. "I feel their unrest. A thirst for revenge has been whetted among them. It's right for the young men to feel the need to fight and protect. You can't do it all on your own, Ler. And it would be wrong of you to try. Our warriors are strong and skilled. And though it scares me… Terrifies me to say this, you must let them claim their lives as their own. For they will anyway, but everything will be better if they don't look to you as holding them back. You must guide them and work with them."
He pulled her closer, the baby in her tummy kicking hard enough he could feel it, too. This baby would be their third child. And he hoped that there would be even more in the future. He thought about Sam, she had been the same age as their son, Haz. They had often played together. And now she was dead, her life ended just as it barely began. His need to protect, his need to kill anyone who threatened his children was just as strong as it was throughout the community in all the young men.
Ler feared he wasn't up to the task to keep his head cool. His love for Shi had already been the catalyst for a genocide once. He could not make a mistake.