Seventeen
Trapped alone in Tristan’s shrine with nothing to do, Sophie dozed a little. Under the stress and terror, she was tired from staying up so much of the night. Her mind shifted back and forth. Every word Tristan had said was chiseled into her memory. He’d told her too much. Enough for her to mess up his plans at least. Her family was important to him but only up till she mated with him. And Rolph was a traitor. She’d kill him at the first opportunity. That was all she knew for sure at the moment. She was close. So close to feeling it was time to raise the alarm on him. There was just one thing. She had to be sure she’d taken out the threat to Jorgie before that happened.
She closed her eyes to shut out the pictures on the wall and rolled away from them. She inhaled deeply, a frown creasing her brow. What was that smell? It was familiar and yet she knew she had no idea what it was. She breathed deeply again, holding the smell in her lungs as long as she could. Eli…it wasn’t his scent, and yet there was part of it she recognized from him. A tickle of dread climbed up her back like a spider. She sat up, all tiredness vanishing behind a surge of adrenaline, her eyes focusing on the trunk against the wall. More spider legs crawled up her, and she gritted her teeth. Oh gosh, there was something in there. Something terrible. She knew it.
Her fingers clenched as she stood. She didn’t want to know, but she had no choice. She knelt in front of the trunk, placed her hands on the lid, breathing hard, her pulse hammering painfully. She blew out a breath. Okay. Do it. You have to. Open the lid.
She did.
Sophie clasped both hands over her mouth to silence the scream in her throat. Tears instantly flooded her eyes, blurring her vision. She thought she knew heartbreak. She was wrong. Like porcelain thrown to the floor, Sophie’s heart crashed, shattering into shards and dust.
The part of her that was already a mother screamed out fury and a promise of retribution.
She reached into the trunk and carefully lifted the little girl out, cradling her to her chest as if she was still alive, only sleeping. She rocked the corpse, her tears falling onto her lifeless face. “Sweet girl. It’s okay. I’ve got you. I’ll take you far away from here. I promise. You won’t be in the dark anymore,” she whispered. “I’ll take you home, baby. I’ll take you to the Heart.”
Sophie laid the girl on the bed and swaddled her in a blanket. She sat on the floor next to the bed slowly tracing her fingers down the girl’s smooth cheek over and over, a fire of insanity building in her. A fire meant for Tristan alone. When he came back he would face a mother. Mother was pain. Mother was revenge. Mother was death incarnate.
Her eyes tunneled and her mouth slicked over with a thirst for blood. That was before the pain came. Like a knife thrust into her lower abdomen and twisted around and around. Sophie cried out, curling into herself on the floor. A pull, then a pop and the baby in her womb detached from her. She clenched her hands on her stomach as if she could stop the miscarriage. No. Don’t leave me, sweetheart. I love you.
Blood ran hot and free from between her legs and her broken heart jolted around the sharp edges. She wept as her baby left her body. Go on then, my baby. Fly. Go where you’ll be safe. One day, I’ll see you. When I die, we’ll be reunited.
Everything went blurry as if she was underwater. Her heart lost shape. It had been so fast. The child inside her lived, grew, pulled from the life her body gave to it. Then they were gone. Now she was empty. Hollowed out and dead within. The cold stone floor drank up her tears. She didn’t move for two hours.
She blinked as the door opened, feet coming right up to her face. She looked up at Tristan. There were no words in her head, no thoughts, no reality. She was still in shock. He reached down and dragged her up to her feet. Rage and violence iced his eyes and he snarled in her face, digging his fingernails into her shoulders until he drew blood. She didn’t react.
“You killed our baby,” he hissed through clenched teeth.
Her gaze landed on him then and cleared a little. “No. You did. You killed that little girl and when I found her I miscarried. It’s your fault. A life for a life.”
He shoved her back and slapped her face. Her ears rang and the room spun. She lost her footing and fell back onto the floor. He moved over her, stepping on her wrist and began to pummel her with his fists. He broke her ribs and damaged her insides still raw from her baby dying. Her mind drifted, the pain only a haze in the background. Then he punched her face, breaking the bones of her cheek. That woke her. She reared up, smashing him in the face with the top of her head. He stumbled back, dazed.
She grabbed the lamp and smashed it over his head. He fell into the corner, unconscious. She jumped onto his chest about to wrap her hands around his throat and choke him to death. Wait! A voice in her head stopped her.
Why? He must die.
What about Jorgie? The other part of her argued. You don’t know who else you need to kill to make sure he’s safe. Tristan said if anything happened to him, bad things would happen to Jorgie. Remember?
Sighing, she backed up and tried to make her head stop spinning. What did she do now? The shock still hadn’t fully lifted. She’d lost too much blood, broken and hemorrhaging inside from Tristan’s beating. She covered the little girl’s head so none of her was visible and picked her up. She had to take her home.
Sophie cradled the child against her chest and left. Her clothes were covered with blood and those she passed who didn’t see, could smell it. There were only a few people in the halls as she walked out. Some spoke to her. Again it was as though she was underwater. Their words muffled and she couldn’t understand. She just walked forward and out.
The evening was beginning to shoot its colored threads across the sky. Her eyes tunneled. Her mind tunneled. Her heart tunneled.
∞∞∞
Eli crossed his arms and sighed, sick of the arguing that had held constant since the Heart encased the Wood in a wall of fire. All the dryads were gathered at the flames of the manifestation. Fear and rage mixed with sorrow was all that existed at the moment. The bodies of the fallen warriors who had been poisoned by the shadow sand had already been put into the flames, their trees now grey, petrified in death.
Eli listened and kept his opinions to himself. The most volatile were still running their mouths louder than anyone else and probably still had a few hours of stamina to flap their lips before they took a break and let someone else talk. The truth was he understood the fear. They were under attack, limited in their ability to strike back, not being able to take the fight to their enemies and unable to put a safe distance between their fighters and the children. He wanted to go off on his own for a while and search the history for possible ideas to their dilemma. The original language had already made them so much stronger. Was there more they could do? Untapped power or potential?
Eli… The Heart whispered in his mind. Prepare yourself. Sophie approaches the Wood. I’m going to let her in. Don’t give yourself and your true feelings away. None of the others can know about you and her. Not right now in the middle of all this fear. I’m going to warn the rest of them now. Be calm.
Calm?! He thought. How the hell was he to manage that?
The white flames sparked around the top. Silence. The Heart said inside all of their minds.
Everyone faced the manifestation and quieted.
Listen to me. A she-wolf is entering the Wood. Sabra’s daughter. I’ve allowed her past the flames. Regardless of your feelings toward the wolves right now, none of you shall harm her. Step aside and let her come to me.
Eli stood straight as a board, his muscles tense, trying to hold still as she came into their midst. His heart burned when he saw her and he began to tremble deep inside. Tears were streaming from her eyes and she was covered in blood. His breath caught and he ground his teeth hard. Her beautiful face was mangled. Her eyes were glazed as she walked a straight line to the Heart. What was she holding?
Everyone backed away from her, murmuring.
Sophie fell to her knees at the crystal trees, sobbing loudly as she uncovered what she was holding. An audible gasp rose up from the dryads close enough to see. She lifted Sam’s body up.
“I found her. Sweet little thing. I found her. I’ve brought her back to you.”
Uproar ensued as everyone came close to Sophie and saw she had Sam’s body.
“She killed Sam!” someone shouted.
Eli moved forward. Sophie needed his protection. But Shi got to her first, standing in between Sophie and the crowd. Shi gave them all a furious glare. Those approaching with violent intent stopped and scowled, but they stopped and that was the important thing at the moment. He continued to move to her. He couldn’t stop himself.
Sophie cried out again, speaking incoherently. She was out of her head and pulled Sam’s body back to her chest and wouldn’t let go. Shi got down on her knees in front of Sophie and touched her shoulders. Then she moved her hands over Sophie’s clenched around Sam.
“Here, sweetheart,” Shi’s voice was so calm and warm. “Let me have her. Okay? I’ll take care of her. I promise.” She spoke to Sophie as though she was crazy and dangerous. “Remember me? Shi? See, I’m a mother, too. I understand. I’ll be careful. Let me have her.”
“Don’t wake her,” Sophie pleaded. “She needs to sleep.”
“I won’t wake her. I promise. Hand her to me.”
Sobbing, Sophie nodded and eased her grip. Shi took the body from her, cradling her as though she was alive and just asleep.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry…” Sophie’s voice trailed away and she fell. Eli caught her before she hit the ground and lifted her up. She hung limply in his arms.
He turned and began walking through everyone. Lex put his hand on his shoulder.
“What are you doing?”
Eli looked at his friend and then down at Sophie. What was he doing?
“I…She’s hurt.”
“Yeah, obviously. Where are you taking her?” Lex frowned.
“I was just…trying to get her out of the crowd.”
He looked around. Everyone was staring at him. Shi and Ler confronted him then, Ler taking Sophie from his arms.
“What are you going to do?” Eli demanded.
Shi gave him a questioning look. "Don't worry about it. I'm going to see to her wounds privately. You need to join with everyone else in the song of death as Sam is given back to the Heart."
He was frozen in place as he watched them carry Sophie away, assailed with the wrongness of it. It should be him taking care of her, but no one could know that. It had to remain a secret. At that moment he experienced the weight this secret carried. It should be him taking care of her.
Many were still looking at him quizzically as if his actions had been ridiculous or bizarre. He focused on his breathing and acting normal, and moved back toward the flames as everyone began to sing for Sam. It was a serious effort to focus as they committed her little body to the manifestation. Eli forced himself to relax. Shi would take care of Sophie as if she were her own daughter.
When the song finished and the memorial was complete, everyone dispersed. Quietness settled over the Wood. Unrest and the desire for revenge moved from shouts and arguments into whispers and murmuring. Many dryads just simply retired to their trees, worn out from all the emotional turmoil.
Eli stayed with his friends and they moved out toward the fringe. The white wall of fire was visible through the trees this close to the boundary.
"What do you think about that bitch coming here like that, with Sam's body?" Sen asked.
"I wonder what happened to her. She was seriously beaten up." Lex said.
"What if it's a ruse?" Ara added. "What if she's a spy?"
"She's not," Eli's voice was flat.
"How would you know?" Ara demanded.
He looked away from her and didn't answer, reminding himself that she had sworn revenge on him for turning her down.
"The whole thing is crazy," Rom said putting his arm around Ara. "It could be a trick, some elaborate plan. It puts me on edge for sure. We're going to have to watch her carefully. I don't think we can let her leave."
"I doubt she can do much of anything," Eli said. "You all saw how messed up she is."
"Yeah, and that's weird, too." Lex began pacing. "I want to hear her story. I want an explanation… Unless some of it was theatrical, I tend to think she just wanted to do the right thing, maybe just discovering Sam, and paid a heavy price for it… I mean with everything going on, her coming here was almost suicidal."
"I won't believe a word she says. They are our enemies now. With what they've done to us, we should get whatever information we can out of her, and then we should just kill her." Sen said.
"Well, that's a fine thing." Eli's voice was aggressive. "She risked her life to come here and you want to repay her sacrifice by killing her."
Sen scowled, crossed his arms, and looked down. "All right, all right. Maybe that's going too far. Regardless, I don't trust her and I don't trust anything about this situation."
All of Eli's friends nodded and voiced their agreement. Eli was so angry he felt like he was going to break out of his skin, but he couldn't show it. He couldn't voice it. But if he stood there talking to them much longer they would probably end up in a fight.
"Whatever, guys. I've listened to enough talking today." Eli walked away, toward his fake tree.
He held still. It was killing him, but he held still. Eli climbed into his fake trunk and waited. In the silence, his emotions rushed on him. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried. He pinched his eyes shut, tears running out, refusing to be kept inside. The memory of Sophie overwhelmed him. The blood on her, the broken bones of her face, and the vacant chill in her eyes.
For the first time in his life, Eli hated what he was. He hated being a dryad. Tristan had done that to her. Tristan had killed Sam. He was begging for a painful death, but he stood just outside of Eli's reach. He couldn't protect Sophie, not the way he wanted to, not the way she needed. Desperate, he turned his mind inward and began searching the history for anything that might help him now. Help came to one part of his problem, but no miracle.
He climbed back out into the open. Darkness had matured overhead, and the pale lights deep in the veins of the leaves illuminated the Wood. His friends were long gone and he encountered no one as he moved toward the manifestation. He'd waited long enough. He would find Sophie now and offer her the only solace he could.
He found her with Shi and a few other dryad women, by the waterfall of Silverlight, laid out on the soft sand of the beach. They had given her new clothes and were working on her wounds. He approached slowly. He stopped a short distance away and just stood still, feeling choked. She was so injured. Aside from being clean, she didn't look any better than when she walked into the Wood that evening.
Shi looked up at him. She got up from the kneeling position next to Sophie and came toward him. Her eyes held question, concern, and a slight tinge of anger. She reached out and touched his arm with her soft hand.
"Why, Eli? What is it? What is your concern for her?"
He gazed at Shi, a plea in his eyes. "What happened to her? What is the extent of her injuries?"
"There are multiple fractures in the bones of her face. A few broken ribs, some internal injuries. At least the hemorrhaging has stopped. She suffered a miscarriage."
He thought he was going to be sick. His hands began to shake. "The Heart made me the historian, Shi. I can heal her… At least, I think I can. Let me try."
"Okay, you can try." Her soft touch on his arm abruptly turned into a vice grip and her eyes burned. "She is not one of us… If you think you're not being obvious, you're dead wrong. You better do better than this at hiding what you feel. She's not for you."
"No one has the right to say that to me, especially you."
"Call me a hypocrite if you like, but I'm one of the only people who could understand. Don't make the same mistake I did."
"Mistake? Is that what you and Ler are? 10,000 years of sacrifice and pain… Love that lasted through all of it… Resurrected and given a second chance… All of that was a mistake?" Eli had never spoken so harshly to Shi.
She eased her grip on his arm and shook her head. "No…" She breathed. "The mistake I speak of was falling so fast and so hard that neither of us could see anything except each other. Seduced by what was forbidden and taking it without reverence, without thought."
"Does anyone really choose when they fall, how hard, how fast, or with whom?"
Shi smiled at him sadly. "Perhaps not. Forgive me. I'm only trying to look out for you. Tensions are high. I don't want you to put yourself or her in danger… As I said before, work a little harder to hide it."
"Okay. I will. I didn't realize." He glanced back over at Sophie, his mouth pressing into a hard line. "She can't stay here. Some think she's a spy. I've already heard talk that we should just kill her. She's not safe inside the boundary."
She nodded gravely. "She's not well enough to leave. She's not even coherent yet."
"Please, Shi. Leave me with her. Let me do what I can for her, and if she's not well enough, explain to anyone who asks that I am guarding her per your request. If I can heal her, then I will take her out of here, beyond the barrier and somewhere safe… Please."
She worried her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment, mulling it over. "Okay, Eli. I'll give you tonight. I'll make the right excuses at the right time. And if anyone has a problem or questions me, it will be my decision, my call they will have to contend with. You won't be at fault for anything. You will just be who I asked to handle the situation."
He clasped both of her hands in his, leaned down, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Thank you, mother."
He waited where he stood while Shi went back to the other women tending to Sophie. She spoke quietly to them and he couldn't hear exactly what she said, but in a few moments all of them left and he was alone on the beach with Sophie.
He hovered over her for a moment before sliding his arms under her back and knees, lifting her up against his chest. "I've got you, Sophie. You're going to be all right. I've got you," he whispered. "You're so brave."
He leaned his head down so his face was right next to hers and closed his eyes. "Ohhr cranic sana mederrum."
She moaned and shifted in his arms. He said the words three times over her. Words of healing and protection in the original Dradhi.
She blinked and looked up at him as though she'd just woken from a long restful sleep, her skin returning to perfect, her bones restored.
"Are you a sorcerer?"
He smiled, his heart expanding in relief and something else he couldn't name. "Naw. Just a book nerd."
"A sexy nerd," she amended.
"That's right…" he lowered his voice. “How do you feel?"
"Great. Never better."
"Good. I need to get you out of here. It's not safe."
He stood and began walking.
"You can put me down. I feel fine. I can walk," she protested lightly.
"Shh…I just want to hold you against me for a moment. Let me."
She smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. "Okay. I don't feel heavy to you?"
He snorted and continued walking, carrying her as though she barely weighed a thing. He moved quickly through the Wood, hoping no one would come out and ask him anything or try to stop them.
"I don't remember how I got here…Tristan…"
"Not yet, Sophie. Tell me after I get you past the boundary."
The flames loomed. The wall parted and let them pass closing behind them. Eli sighed in relief, but he did feel someone's eyes on them once. He didn't know who because he didn't turn to look. At least he didn't hear anyone following them. The wall of fire wouldn't keep anyone in, just intruders out. He set her on her feet and took her hand instead, leading her toward his real tree.
He stopped right next to his trunk and rested his hand against it. "This is me. No one knows. I've never told any of my friends where my real tree is. Only the Heart knows."
"And now me."
"Yes. I wanted to tell you. I don't want there to be secrets between us."
She gazed up into his branches. "You're kinda short."
He huffed. "That's because I break my branches to disguise myself…I'm the only dryad outside the boundary of the Wood."
Smiling, she moved closer and sat on the ground, leaning back against his trunk. "I like it here…with you. Thank you for showing me where I can find you."
Her easy smile suddenly slipped from her face, the color in her cheeks draining, and her eyes going wide. "Oh gosh…I remember what happened now." Her whole body began to shake.
He sat next to her and pulled her into his arms as she began to sob. She was too loud for his comfort but he didn't want to tell her to be quiet. "Sophie, hold on. Let's go to the cave. You can cry. You can scream or do whatever you need to, just hold on…"
Her bottom lip trembling, she nodded and got to her feet. She practically ran there. If he wasn’t so worried about her emotional state, he'd have been impressed with how quick and agile she scaled the cliff face. The cave swallowed them in its dark embrace. He picked her up again as he had when he'd carried her and sank down against the wall, holding her cradled in his lap. She clung to him and wept.
"Tristan locked me in…I found the little girl. He'd put her in a trunk like a treasure he meant to keep…I don't know what happened to me, Eli. I broke inside." She gasped around the words and tears. "I lost my baby!" she wailed. "I felt its life fly from me." She clutched at her stomach. "I'm so empty now. My womb is an empty coffin. Tristan came back, he was furious. He said I killed our baby. He beat me. My mind just drifted. It's like I wasn't really there. I fought back. I knocked him out. I wanted to kill him. I almost did. I was so close, but then a part of me woke up and stopped my hand. I remembered why I couldn't. I wrapped up the girl and walked out of the mountain. That's all. I can't remember anything else. Then I woke up and you were holding me and all the pain was gone."
For a while they stayed like that, quiet and just holding on. He felt her relax and then a new tension began building in her body. Before he could ask her what she was feeling she spoke.
"I'm sorry…I'm sure you never want to see me again.” Her voice had never been so light and cold. Her tone was forced. “It’s too dangerous, for both of us. It’s not worth the risk. Thank you for all you've done for me. You're a good man, Eli. I don’t mean to hurt you."
He stiffened under her and sniffed, anger flashing inside him. “So full of yourself. You couldn’t hurt me.”
He got up and put her down at arm’s length. She flinched.
“I thought you wanted me.”
“Want you?” he scoffed. “I don’t want you!” his voice bounced off the cave walls. He reached forward and grabbed her arms with his hands. “You drive me crazy. You keep coming here, drawing me out, ruining everything that could possibly be ruined. If you’re going to dismiss me that easily then I never want to see you again. I wish we’d never met. I hate you. I hate you so much…and…and…” his breath came out in short jerks. “I can’t breathe without you.”
He let go and backed away from her, looking down. The heat and pull between them surged. A dark smile lifted her lips. She moved forward, invading his space and touched his cheek. His gaze dragged up slowly to hers.
“I hate you, too,” she whispered.
“Damn it, Sophie.”
“Yes,” she pressed her chest against his. “You have damned me…as much as I’ve damned you.”
He wrapped his arms around her and took her mouth as gravity tilted sideways.
"We promised to be honest, Eli. You just slipped up…I guess I did, too. I could hurt you, just as you could hurt me. I don't want it to end yet…I'm sorry. I'm just feeling too much. I’m scared. I can't think…"
He took her hand, led her into the middle of the cave, and then backed away. She looked at him confused.
"Paint, Sophie. Paint it all. Everything you're feeling no matter what it is. Let it out so you can heal."
The way she looked at him then, warm pressure spread through his chest. Had he just claimed her heart? Had she just surrendered it to him?
She closed her eyes and lifted her hands. He watched in awe as colors and images ran from her fingers. All of it was ugly. She was purging. He saw it, the horror, the death, it was all laced into the lines. After a few bruised designs she heaved a heavy sigh and opened her eyes. She walked to the back of the cave to the painting of the baby. Her fingertips ran gently along the edges for a few minutes then she began gathering it. It compressed down until it could fit in the palm of her hand. She lifted it to her chest and pressed it against her skin. The light, the color of tears, cut her as it sank in. She reabsorbed it.
"I think I'm finished now."
He went to her. "Not yet. Just do one more."
"What do you mean?"
He moved behind her, pressing his chest against her back and running his hands down her shoulders. He gripped her hips and kissed the side of her neck. Her breathing turned rough. He moved his hands back to her arms, slowly running them down until he laced his fingers through hers.
"What do you feel right now?" he breathed in her ear. "Show me. Paint what you feel for me."
He let go of her hands as she lifted them up in front of her and wrapped his arms around her waist instead, holding her tightly. He didn't look at what she made, not yet. He closed his eyes and kissed all down her neck slowly. Shivers rolled over her skin. He smiled to himself at her body’s response.
"You're a dangerous creature, Eli," she whispered. "I can't…we can't…you healed me, but it's too…"
"It's too soon. I know. I'm not trying to get there right now."
She sighed and rested her head back against his collarbone.
"I've finished. What do you think?"
She moved out of his grasp and around the image floating in the air, facing him from the other side of it. He looked at it and then at her. She met his gaze evenly without blushing. It was a tree. Every leaf was a tongue of fire. The light lines danced as if it really burned. He looked closer. Details, tiny details, almost too small to see were etched into the outlines. Confusion, fear, desperation, lust, and defiance. He could look at this one for a very long time, examining all the subtle nuances in the layers she built into it, and he would take the time…later.
"Thank you."
“You say that too much to me.” he smiled.
“I doubt it.” She rubbed her arms and looked at the mouth of the cave. “You’ve given me the strength I need…I have to go back now. I have to finish this. I’m going to break the cage he’s put me in.”
He wrapped her in his arms and leaned his forehead against hers again. “You have no idea what this has done to me. A rage like madness runs all through me and I can’t do anything about it. To be so helpless to rescue you. I want to! It feels like my right and I can’t exercise it.”
“It’s not how you want. It’s not the violent, bloody way you want to rescue me, but you still have. Just in another way. Because of you, I feel strong enough to do it myself. You won’t hold that against me, will you? It’s my right as well, to rescue myself.”
He kissed her long and hard until they were both breathless. She put her hands on his face and fell into his midnight eyes.
“This is crazy…you and me…know that, right?”
He smirked. “Baby, crazy is all we have.”
She chuckled and nestled closer to him. “I have to go. I won’t come back until I’m free.”
“When you do, I’m going to show you, you do like sex.”
She snorted. “You remember everything I say, don’t you?”
“No, but you throw words like sex around and I’m definitely listening.”
Her laugh bounced around the cave. Then she gave him a look caught between interest and annoyance. “Do you have lots of experience?”
“No. Not lots.”
“You certainly warmed me up a few times. It seems like you have serious skill. Where did you get it?”
He held his hands out to her, palms up so she could see the words. “Not all the history is…shall we say…dry reading.”
Her smile warmed her eyes. “Sexy nerd.”
“Don’t forget it, either.”
“You don’t seem likely to let me.”
His expression sobered. “It’s more than that. You know that, right? It’s not just lust between us. At least, not for me.”
She shook her head. “It’s not just that for me either. Not even close to being just that, Eli.”
She drew close one last time and he kissed her mouth. All his worry poured into this kiss. Reluctantly she pulled away. “I’ll survive. I promise. And I’ll come back to you.”
He watched her go. The bird thing was on his shoulder, it pulsed and moved slowly down till it rested over his heart. He covered it with his hand, drawing comfort from the feel of it. Sophie was with him. So long as her art lived under his skin, she was with him.