The warmth of the sun’s rays greets me when I open my eyes. It takes a moment to get oriented. Last night’s events come rushing back, bringing a wave of nausea. The most intimate moment of my life, tainted.
Pushing all negativity from my mind, I lie there perfectly still and watch the waves roll in. There is something so calming about the ocean. My stomach growls in protest and suddenly, nothing sounds more perfect than a cup of coffee and this view.
Sitting up, I stretch, realizing that Declan is gone. Oh God! My breathing quickens before logic sets in. You’re not alone. Get it together, Teagan. I mentally slap myself and swing my feet over the edge of the bed, testing the tenderness. To my surprise, there isn’t much pain. Standing slowly, my stomach barks at me again, reminding me to get a move on.
After a quick, much needed shower, I dress in denim shorts and a loose tank. The cuts on my feet are looking good, so I chose to wear comfortable sandals and allow the wounds to breathe. I stare at myself in the mirror for a long while. I can’t find the desire to put on makeup and my stomach is planning a revolt, so I quickly braid my hair over one shoulder and head out in search of Declan. I mean food.
Declan was waiting for me as I entered the kitchen.
Wow.
Just wow.
I’m on sensory overload. Before me, stands the most delectable man I’ve ever met and he’s looking at me like I’m the Holy Grail. But it’s not just him, there is the delicious aroma of cinnamon in the air and the cup of coffee he holds, just for me. The intensity of his stare sends a jolt through my core. Clad in only a pair of athletic shorts, his abs are perfectly on display. Taking advantage of the picture before me, I peruse his form, and it’s then I notice the various spots of flour covering his torso.
“I made breakfast,” he exclaims confidently, with a huge smile on his gorgeous face.
I can’t help the silly school girl giggle that escapes.
“Good, I’m starving, and it looks delicious.”
Not just the food, either.
I accept the warm mug he offers and follow him out to the terrace. My face hurts, I’m smiling so hard. Declan has a breakfast table set up directly in front of the amazing ocean view. Sea air filled with cinnamon and coffee and the unique spice that is Declan—it’s an intoxicating combination.
“Sit. Have breakfast with me.”
I’ve pretty much been rendered mute. The vice on my heart cinches as I look around and realize this, right here, is exactly what I needed. Declan has found a way to soothe my physical wounds as well as my soul.
I am unable to wait any longer and dig into my cinnamon roll. Oh, my God. The sugary goodness melts the moment it hits my tongue.
“You really need to stop doing that. I don’t think you are ready for the consequences.”
I look up, suddenly realizing my eyes were closed.
“Huh?” I ask, a little confused, until I notice Declan adjusting himself.
“Watching you eat is one of the sexiest things I have ever seen. If that’s how you react to pastries, the kitchen is going to be full of them every morning,” he quips, his face set in a sexy smile.
“Sorry,” I mumble through a mouthful of heaven. “But damn, these are good.”
“Thanks. My mom taught me how to make them.” He looks out toward to horizon thoughtfully.
“Would you tell me about your mom?” Immediately I throw a hand up. “I mean if you want to talk about it, I’d like to hear.” He stares at me for a moment before a look eerily close to admiration crosses his features.
“You really want to know about my mom?” He questions as if no one had ever asked him that question before. Maybe no one ever has…
“She was beautiful. And the best in the county. Hands down.” He smiles at the fond memory.
“Well, after that cinnamon roll, I believe it!”
He chuckles lightly before continuing.
“She was a really good mom. Even though she was doing it alone, she never once let me down or let me feel like I was missing out because I didn’t have a dad. She even coached little league one year. That shit was hilarious. But ya’ know what, that was the best season we ever had.”
I can’t help but laugh along with him. His mother sounds like a beautiful person but all too soon, the familiar sting of abandonment surfaces and I crush it just as fast. My pining after the family I never had is useless, and I am grateful he had such a good mother, even if it was short lived.
“But the day I lost her, I lost something so much bigger than a parent. I lost ambition. I lost the one person who made me believe I could be anything I wanted to be.”
My chest aches for the boy Declan used to be. Seeing the pain written on his face, I can’t decide if it was better to have a great parent and lose them or to never have had one at all. The look in his eyes will haunt me. I can’t imagine what that same expression looked like nineteen years ago when the wound of loss was fresh.
“My world stopped that day. I was so excited to tell my mom about my day that, when I burst through the door, I caught the fucker off guard. I don’t really remember much after that. Just the maleficent appearance of her lifeless body. A very kind officer took care of me in the hours following. One thing I will never forget is how he never left my side, not once. I honestly don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t had him to hold me up when I couldn’t do it myself.”
His words blow me away and I can do nothing but sit here, dumbfounded.
“That’s amazing.” I finally speak. “Did you stay in touch?”
“No, I never caught his name. The whole thing was a blur and by the time things settled, no one remembered.”
“Wow. I—I don’t know what to say.” And it’s the truth. I want to console him, but I truly have no idea what to say.
“I do. You can say yes.”
Huh?
“Yes, to what?” I ask, clearly having missed something.
“Yes, to staying in with me. I want to take you on a proper date and since we need to limit our time in the public, we’re going to do it right here. Tonight.” His voice is slightly gritty as if he were struggling to hold back carnal desire. He accentuates his request by tapping his finger on the table top and I involuntarily clench my thighs in a feeble attempt to relieve the delicious pressure.
“You deserve more than the hand you’ve been dealt. I don’t have much to offer and I can’t take away the pain of your past, but I can change your present.” He leans in, bringing his much larger body closer to mine. The intensity in his eyes both scares and excites me. It takes everything I have to mask the existence of the raging war inside me. Our lips are so close, if I moved just a hair closer…
“Tonight, you’re not a wanted woman, not the center of some sick fuck’s game, and certainly not alone in the world. Tonight, you’re mine.”
Breathe.
Just breathe, Teagan.
A date.
Declan wants to take me on a date! An actual date. Nerves dance around my gut and my skin flushes as memories from earlier invade my mind. I’m not even sure if I know how to date anymore. My last date was ten years ago… and look where that got you.
Damnit!
Shaking off the unwanted thoughts, I glance at the dresses laid out before me.
After the intense moment this morning, Declan left me alone with my thoughts. He’s been working on the cartel case and holed up in the office most of the day. The few times I have seen him, we both chose to stay silent but the intensity in his stare has done nothing to tamper the need building inside me.
I’m not sure what to expect from the evening, but I was lucky enough to find some beautiful dresses left behind by what I can only assume to be Briggs’ girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend? He didn’t seem all that keen on getting close to a woman. Aiden’s story intrigues me, but I can respect his privacy enough not to pry. It’s the least I can do after everything he’s done for me.
My train of thought shifts suddenly to Celeste and worry weighs heavily on my chest. Did she make it somewhere safe? Is she injured? Fuck. I’m already off to a bad start at this friendship thing.
Teagan—Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t check in on you sooner. Are things okay? How are your feet?
I try to put the phone down and wait patiently for her response, but the longer it takes the more worried I become. Like a Mother Hen, I can feel myself starting to overthink the situation, and visions of Mark hurting Celeste start to manifest unwelcomingly. Before I can work myself into a complete tizzy, the phone sings beside me.
“Tell me you’re okay and I haven’t completely ruined your life too.” I say in greeting, relieved to hear from her.
“Did you really expect anything less than perfect from me?” she asks jokingly. “I really am okay. The grumpy ass caveman refuses to let me go home.” She lowers her voice to just above a whisper. “Not that he isn’t fucking fantastic to look at, because DAYUM. But seriously, I don’t know how much longer I can stay confined in the same space as him. I about to go all Fatal Attraction on his fine, cranky ass.”
I can’t help but smile at her antics. She’s a nut—one you can’t help but love.
“Sounds kind of hot if you ask me.”
“Not when he refuses to talk to me unless he’s complaining. I’m not even joking. I can’t even tell if it’s personal or if he genuinely hates all women. But, I have to admit, he can be thoughtful when he wants to be. Not that it’s often or anything.”
I can hear the eye roll in her words and I stifle a chuckle. I know it’s not personal, but I don’t feel like I have the right to share what little I know about him. It’s his story to tell. Changing the subject, I bring up the secondary reason I needed her.
“So, Declan asked to take me on a date tonight. Here, at the beach house…” I trail off, completely drowned out by her squeal. I have to pull the phone away to salvage what is left of my eardrums.
“I’m sorry but I am so excited for you!” Pausing momentarily, she lowers her voice to a serious tone. “I am beyond happy for you. I know this doesn’t mean relationship or anything, Lord knows no sane woman would jump into something so soon. But, this means you are already moving on. And Chicka, that is a miracle in itself. I am proud of you and you should be too. You are strong, you are a survivor.”
Her words envelop me as tears begin to prick my eyes. I have never known this kind of loving support and to be honest, I am not comfortable accepting the compliment. I don’t know what to say so I choose to say nothing, allowing the silence to speak for me. Celeste is such a confident woman. She knows what she wants and has no problem reaching for it. Simply knowing she has confidence in me gives me a renewed strength and I begin to feel like things will be okay.
But we all know the calm comes before the storm.
“Now, what are you going to wear?”