Walker stared at the front door of the old bar and clenched his hat in both hands. In the five minutes he’d stood here, he’d completely ruined the carefully-shaped hat. He hadn’t seen the inside of a bar since the first night he’d been released from prison.

Would he want a drink? Could he fight off the urges?

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, hitting the one contact in his favorites.

The line rang all of twice.

“How’d it go?” The woman’s soft, sympathetic tone invited him to say everything.

“Not well. I didn’t get to talk to Jenny before it all went to hell.” He sighed. “I’ll tell you everything later, but...”

“But what?”

“My cousin’s sitting in a bar we used to drink at a lot.”

“Do you want a drink?”

“No, but—”

“But nothing, sweetheart. You’re a strong man. No one can make you do anything. Go in there and do what you went to do.”

“Thanks. Be home late.”

“I’ll text you in fifteen minutes, okay? If now isn’t the time, I’m sure you can catch your cousin later. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

He hung up the phone and breathed a little easier.

Sophia was his heart, his soul, and an angel to boot. She’d looked past his wreck of a life and saw someone worth loving. Without her, Walker would have fallen back into his old ways. That wasn’t the person he wanted to be anymore.

Walker took a step forward, then another. He made it through the front door of the bar and paused in the doorway while his eyes adjusted.

The bartender didn’t call his name and tables of regulars didn’t hail him anymore.

The tension in his shoulders eased by degrees and he searched the stools for one person in particular.

Lucas had his back to him, likely watching the TV.

Walker hadn’t known Lucas was even around. He’d thought making amends there would take a road trip, since he couldn’t make himself pick up the phone and call the guy.

Lucas and Jenny were the last two people on his list. They were also going to be the hardest conversations he’d had in a long time.

Walker set his eyes on the empty seat to his cousin’s left, figuring if Lucas decked, him he’d at least have to turn to do it. Walker slid into the empty chair and swallowed.

He’d practiced what he wanted to say to Jenny for weeks. Now he had no idea what to say, except, I suck.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Lucas sipped from his pint glass. Judging by the empties lined up at the other side of the table, he was hitting the early edge of Happy Hour hard.

“That is both an easy and complicated question.” Walker folded his hands on the table and stared at the TV without really seeing it.

Lucas signaled to the bartender and took a gulp, emptying what had to be his fourth beer.

They continued to sit in silence. Every couple of moments Walker glanced at Lucas, who hadn’t once looked his way.

This wasn’t how he wanted to see his cousin after all these years, but what more could he ask for?

“I wasn’t aware you were back,” Walker said by way of hoping to start a conversation.

Lucas grunted.

“I’ve been meaning to look you up, come see you.”

Lucas finally turned his head and stared at Walker with an expression that spoke volumes.

“I realize I’m likely one of the last people you want to talk to, which is why I haven’t reached out. I’m trying to make amends with everyone, especially family. I did a lot of wrong in my years. I hurt a lot of people, you and Jenny more than anyone else.”

“Just Jenny. I don’t give a fuck about you.”

“I deserve that. And you’re right.” Walker nodded. As much as it pained him to own those mistakes, those horrible years, he had to.

“Why the hell are you here?”

“Because...I’m getting married in a few weeks and I want to make things right with my past.”

“You’re—what?” Lucas gaped at him.

“I know, who would want to marry me? What business do I have getting married to someone again? I said the same things when Soph told me she wanted to marry me.”

“I need another drink,” Lucas muttered.

“Please, hear me out?” Walker cringed. “I was cruel to Jenny and you. I can never take back the things I did or said, the hell I put you two in. I’m sorry. I wish there was a good explanation, all I can say is that things happened to me when I was a kid that fucked me up. I couldn’t talk about it, I couldn’t fix it. The only way to dull it was, at first, alcohol, and then drugs. I thought Jenny could fix me, that if I stuck with her she’d...make me better. But no one could make me better except for myself. I’m not perfect, never have been or will be, but I can be better.”

“Is that how you explain what happened at Magic City?”

Walker swallowed and hung his head.

“Nothing can explain or excuse what I did. Was I drunk or high most of the time? Yeah. But it was still my choice. I did that, and I have to live the rest of my life knowing that.”

“What do you want from me, Walker? What the hell are you doing here?” Lucas glared at the waitress who was ignoring him, blatantly, by Walker’s estimation.

“To say I’m sorry. I understand if you hate me or don’t care. I was a terrible person. I deserve what I get.”

“That all?”

Walker stared at Lucas’ bloodshot eyes and the stubborn thrust of his jaw. Lucas had always been the even keel, the easy-going one. Except when it came to Jenny.

Did Walker point it out? Did he say it?

It was clear from the way Jenny had reacted earlier that Lucas still meant something to her.

“You and Jenny, you fit. You always did, and I resented you two for that. She and I... We were never good for each other. There was a time when I figured I’d cut her lose and have more fun that way. Then I saw you two together. You were just talking, but it was the way she looked at you. She never looked at me that way. I made a terrible decision that day to hold onto her, to make both of you as miserable as I was. Soph says, hurting people hurt people.”

“Misery loves company.”

“That is does.” Walker nodded.

“Done?” Lucas cocked his head sideways.

“I hope you two can work things out.”

“Not likely.”

“If you still care about each other after all this time—?”

“That night you first went to Magic City? It was my idea. I took you there, knowing you’d fuck up. That you’d do something that maybe—just maybe—Jenny wouldn’t put up with anymore. Then I heard all about your other girlfriends, and I told her. I told her that you weren’t good for her, that she was throwing her life away being with you, and you know what? She told me to leave and never speak to her again. So that’s what I did. I left, and fucked everyone’s lives up more than you ever could.”

Walker remembered the night he’d come home, totally wasted and high. Jenny was at the kitchen table, doubled over, crying her eyes out. They’d had one of the worst fights that night. All the screaming and throwing things. It was a wonder the neighbors hadn’t called the cops. He’d left so he wouldn’t have to face the truth that she knew how awful he was. They’d seen each other maybe once or twice before the night he got arrested.

“You never forced me to do anything, Lucas. That’s the point. You can’t be responsible for something I chose to do.”

Lucas’ glare said otherwise.

This must have been what it was like to have an argument with him all those years ago. Walker couldn’t change Lucas’ mind. No one could.

g

Jenny stood in the entry to her house, both Dolly and Omen pressed against her shins.

Everly and her husband took a quick tour of the house, ensuring Lucas really wasn’t there. Despite the obvious work done to clean up the place, the dogs had attacked another pillow while left alone. At least they were second-hand items, so not much to miss.

“Well, it seems that the only room they got playful in was here.” Everly entered the living room and gestured at where the piles of fluff had been. At least until her husband scooped it up and put the room to rights again.

“Thank you for doing this,” Jenny said for what felt like the hundredth time.

“No problem.” Everly peered at her. “Are you sure you want to be here alone?”

“Yes, you’ve been more than kind.” What Jenny couldn’t say was that being around the newlyweds was painful.

“All right. If you need anything, just call, okay?”

Jenny hugged Everly. It was an odd beginning to a friendship, but she hoped it didn’t end here. Despite the personal turmoil going on, Jenny liked Everly and her husband. She saw them to the door and on their way.

The moment their car rolled out of sight, Jenny locked the front door.

Dolly and Omen needed an outside trip to do doggie things, and some fresh air would be good for Jenny. She grabbed her cell phone and led the way out through the sunroom to the back yard.

It wasn’t much, just a fence and some grass, but it had potential. She’d always imagined a flagstone patio, maybe some sort of awning. A place to relax and grill. It was on her project list.

For now she made do sitting on the lowest step, and braced herself for the messages.

She turned the phone back on and didn’t look at the screen while it booted up and text after text made it vibrate.

Dolly and Omen chased each other around.

Lucas was right, Dolly was more comfortable with another animal around.

She hated to think that she was grateful to Lucas for anything, but she was grateful that he’d left Omen. Maybe they’d distract each other while Jenny grieved.

When her phone stopped going off, she finally peered at the screen.

The messages were all from Mary, Carly and Autumn. None from an Unknown Number or Lucas.

She blew out a breath.

After he’d called Everly, she’d been half afraid he would phone stalk her until they had a showdown.

She didn’t know what she’d say to him. She’d probably burst into tears and say nothing of substance. Too many of her happy periods began and ended with Lucas. She’d always blamed Walker for that, but it seemed that she had been wrong. Lucas was the real orchestrator behind her pain.

Did he get some kind of perverse joy from making her hurt? Or was that simply a bonus?

All this time, she’d thought Lucas was kind. That he was a genuinely nice person. That the connection they had, even if they were just friends, was special.

It was all twisted up.

She’d almost fallen in love with him and lost her identity all over again.

A car pulled into the driveway, its headlights shining through the boards. The deep rumble of the engine wasn’t Lucas’ Jeep.

Omen scampered to the fence and whined.

How did Jenny explain to the dog that Lucas had abandoned her? That he wasn’t coming back? That she, like Jenny, was better off without him?

Her heart ached at the loss, but it was better this way.

“Jenny? Jenny, you home?” Mary called out.

Jenny buried her face against her arms and bit her lip.

She didn’t want to see the others, to answer their questions or find or what happened after she left.

The gate rattled.

“Jenny?”

She kept her mouth shut, pinching her nose to keep from sobbing and betraying her presence. The others didn’t understand, they couldn’t, and she wasn’t ready to explain herself. She just wanted to be left alone in her misery.

g

Lucas ignored the pointed stares from Mary, Autumn and Carly while he finished packing his machines. He had a lot of practice ignoring people the last few days.

First it was Walker watching him slam back more than was healthy for a guy his age. Of course, Lucas had assumed that at some point Walker would join him. Instead, he’d cleared the table and pushed water on Lucas.

Then it was Walker’s AA buddy watching over Lucas while the room spun and he got acquainted with Walker’s bathroom.

Now he had these three that wouldn’t leave him alone.

“You could still work through the week.” Mary’s toe tapped the floor.

“I’ll need a week to get stuff in order. I told you, I’m done.” He closed the lid on his case and locked it.

“You’re running away.” Mary had her nose up in the air. She’d already decided how things were, so there was no use arguing with her.

“But you didn’t do anything wrong,” Autumn said.

That was coming from the woman who’d previously thought he was the spawn of Satan. The truth no longer mattered. Jenny didn’t want to see him, he’d hurt her more deeply than Walker ever had, and the best thing for him to do was stay away. End of story. No one else had to understand.

“Isn’t this what you did last time things got bad? Left?” Carly asked.

“I left because Jenny asked me to. This time, she doesn’t have to ask.” He picked up his bag and took a step toward the back door.

Carly rolled directly into his path and stopped. She was as stubborn as the rest of the women who worked here, God love them.

“What?” he asked.

Carly opened and closed her mouth. Unlike the others, she had a painful, bird’s eye view of his situation because she was in much the same boat. They both loved people who could not love them back.

“My advice?” He lowered his voice. “Find someone you don’t have to let go.”

“Don’t be a stranger, okay?” Carly grimaced. She, at least, got it.

“I’m probably never coming back.” He’d visit Mom and Dad from time to time, because he did love his family, but he’d avoid the tattoo parlors and friends. This was Jenny’s sandbox, and he wouldn’t piss in it again.

“You’re making a mistake,” Mary called after him.

He waved over his shoulder as he exited through the back of the shop.

Maybe his whole life was a mistake. If it was, then perhaps he was finally doing something right. He could hope so.

He tossed his things into the back of the Jeep, then climbed into the passenger seat. He was still hung over enough he didn’t trust himself to drive.

“Where to?” Walker asked.

“Swing by the apartment, if you would. I’m going to pick up my clothes and be done with the place.” He’d give notice to the apartment complex first thing tomorrow morning. They’d likely ding someone over the termination, but he wasn’t going to pay for the place when he’d need all his pennies to set himself up with a flat when he got wherever it was he was going.

“Soph is excited to meet you,” Walker said.

Lucas grunted.

He still wasn’t sure what to make of Walker’s story, but he was a completely different person now.

“I think you’ll like Sophia,” he said. “She was my AA sponsor’s sister. We got to know each other through him, and when he died last year, things just happened naturally between us.”

“Where was she last night?”

“Oh, we don’t live together. We’re taking things slow and careful.” Walker shifted in the driver’s seat. “She’s actually never been to my place.”

“What?”

“It sounds weird, I know, but alcohol and sex were... I treated them like a cure to my problems.”

“So, you’ve never had her to your place, and—let me guess—you’ve never slept together?”

“No.” Walker actually blushed.

“Who the fuck are you?” Lucas shook his head.

Part of him wanted to be angry at Walker. He didn’t get to do the things he’d done to Jenny, then wipe the slate clean. But then again, hadn’t he been punished for his crimes? At least in the legal sense.

“I’m just trying to be different, Lucas. I really am.” Walker pulled up to Lucas’ apartment, shifted into park and hung his head. “Soph and I debate whether or not some crimes are forgivable.”

“Which side do you fall on?”

“I don’t think I deserve to be forgiven for everything I’ve done. Sophia disagrees.”

Lucas grit his teeth, some of his anger eroding.

If Walker were anyone else, he’d be inclined to say that everyone deserved a second chance. People fucked up, sometimes on an epic scale. But this was Walker, his cousin, who’d shattered Jenny’s heart and left her soul in shreds. Did whatever wrongs done to Walker alleviate him of the guilt? Should Lucas forgive him?

“I’ll only be a minute, if you want to wait here?” Lucas slid out before Walker could offer an answer.

•  •