HOLLY STARED OUT THE WINDOW, WATCHING THE FIGHTERS TALKING. Exhaling, she paced away and then back, twisting her fingers together. She felt so incredibly jumbled inside, a mass of fear, confusion, love, almost every emotion under the sun, tangled together in her gut, making her nauseous.
What the hell was going on? Either this was an extremely abnormal family she’d stumbled into, or a very mentally disturbed one. Tigers, visions, death threats, arrows. Was this even her life? It felt like a dream, or like a movie she was watching. It didn’t feel like hers.
“He’ll be back inside soon, Holly,” Shelby said quietly. “And I promise, everything’s going to be okay.”
Turning, she made her way over to the little girl, sitting awkwardly in a chair, grimacing at the streak of pain in her leg.
“Shelby, is this kind of thing… normal for you?”
Pursing her lips, Shelby considered the question. “That depends on which part you’re talking about. But everyone’s definition of normal is different, right?”
Such wisdom already. Before she could reply, the door opened, and she whipped her head around to see Ian walk in, followed by the others. He locked gazes with her immediately, his silver speckled bright blue eyes intense.
“We need to talk,” he said softly.
Swallowing hard, she nodded. “Yes, we do.”
Cammie walked over to play with Shelby, and Holly stood up, following Ian up the stairs and to his bedroom. Shutting the door behind them, he frowned as he watched her walk to stand next to the bed.
“Is your leg bothering you?” he asked, concern in his voice.
“A little,” she replied. “But not nearly as much as not knowing what the heck is going on.”
Gesturing to the bed, he said, “Let’s sit, get the pressure off your leg. Besides, this isn’t a conversation to have while standing.”
Brow furrowing, nerves fluttering like mad in her belly, she sat on the bed, watching as he moved to do the same. He looked weary, his big shoulders slumped, like the weight of the world was resting on them. Heart clenching, she resolved to listen with an open mind and not make any judgments until he’d finished telling her whatever it was.
Inhaling deeply, he held the breath for a long moment before blowing it out. “I’m not sure where to start.”
“At the beginning. Or even the middle, if you need to. I’ll catch up.”
“I’m—well, I’m different. So is Shelby. So are all of us, really. Piper and Amelia are the only humans here.”
“Humans?” she asked slowly. “Are you saying you’re not human?”
“I mean, I kind of am. Just not all the way. Do you believe in the paranormal, Holly?”
“Paranormal?” she asked with a frown. “Like ghosts? Are you telling me you’re a ghost? You felt pretty real and solid to me in bed last night.”
Lips quirking in a brief smile, he shook his head. “No, I’m not a ghost, although it wouldn’t surprise me to learn they were real. No, I mean other things. You see, I—well, my body—” stopping, he blew a breath out. “This is harder than I thought it would be. I’m just going to say it. I’m a shifter. I share my body with an animal. I can shift forms between them. That’s why I said I’m kind of a human. I am, and I’m not, at the same time.”
Staring at him blankly, her mind whirled in circles, trying to comprehend what he was telling her. “Are you trying to tell me you’re a werewolf? You turn into a hairy madman every full moon?”
“Why do humans always assume we’re werewolves?” he muttered, more to himself than her, she thought. “It’s not like that. There are different shifter species out there. I’m a tiger. Shelby, too, obviously, since she’s my daughter. I can shift whenever I want, and I don’t lose my mind, or turn into some mutant hybrid. I’m just a tiger. Much larger than a natural, wild tiger, but a regular tiger, all the same.”
Everything in his voice and eyes told her he believed this, one hundred percent. He wasn’t pulling her leg, or making up craziness, this was something he truly believed. And wasn’t it just her luck that the one man she’d ever fallen for other than Kyle, the one man who had the power to make her take a risk again, was batshit crazy.
Reaching her hand up, she placed it on his forehead, frowning when she found it cool to the touch. This wasn’t feverish ramblings, then. “Do all of your fighters share this, um, delusion?”
“What?” he asked, eyebrows shooting up. “This isn’t a delusion, Holly. I’m telling you the truth.”
“I believe you think this is the truth, Ian. But what you’re describing to me just isn’t real. I’m sorry,” she said, genuinely feeling bad that she was clueing him into the fact that humans didn’t share their bodies with animals.
Brow furrowing, he looked around the large master bedroom. “Yeah, there’s enough room in here. Listen, Holly, I’m going to shift so I can show you I’m telling you the truth. I don’t want you to be nervous or scared. My tiger won’t hurt you. He’s his own person, for lack of better description, with his own thoughts and feelings. But he loves you, sweetheart, and he’d never hurt you. And I’m always there, always in control. If you look in my eyes, you’ll see me there. There’s no reason for you to be afraid.”
Standing, Ian started stripping out of his clothes, and she opened her mouth to protest. Biting back the words, she watched with a heavy heart. Determination was written all over his face, so she knew nothing she could say would stop him from doing this, but she hated how upset he’d be when he tried this, and nothing happened. All she could do was be there for him when he realized he was nothing more than an average human.
When he was naked, he gave her a reassuring smile, and then hunched inward, grimacing. Loud pops split the air, and all the breath whooshed out of her body as a wave of something magical danced over her skin, raising hairs in its wake. The next moment, there was a massive tiger standing where Ian had just been, shaking out its fur.
It all happened in the blink of an eye, and if she’d looked away, she would have missed it completely. Fear washed over her, and she scrambled back further onto the bed. The tiger just cocked its head at her and calmly sat down, not looking in the slightest like he wanted to have her for a snack.
She tried to control the panic she felt, but it was long moments before it began to recede. But it wasn’t until she looked into his eyes that she felt herself start to truly calm down and relax. Those were Ian’s eyes. The silver was stronger and brighter, but there was no doubt who they belonged to, and he’d been right. She could see him, Ian the man, in his gaze.
Blowing out a breath, she took him in as a whole. Massive didn’t even come close to describing him. He was enormous, thickly muscled, with paws the size of dinner plates. She thought his head might even be bigger than hers. He had long, razor sharp claws, and when he opened his mouth, she caught a glimpse of his canines, and fear streaked through her for a moment.
Oh, God, how could this be real? She’d just watched the man she loved turn into a tiger, and how was this even possible? But it’d happened. There was no way she could convince herself it hadn’t, so now the question became, how did she deal with it? Did it really matter that Ian could turn into a tiger?
Gathering her courage, and feeling a little silly for talking to a tiger, she said, “Ian,” hating the way her voice quivered.
Leisurely, he stood up and stretched a bit before taking a step toward her. Squeaking, she automatically pushed herself further back on the bed, and he paused, staring at her. Cocking his head, he looked at her steadily, his eyes calm and reassuring. With a deep breath, telling herself to get it together, she held out a trembling hand, beckoning him closer.
He moved in close, and unable to help herself, she squeezed her eyes closed. Soft fur brushed her fingers and then he held still, not moving. When he did nothing else, she slowly opened her eyes, looking at her hand resting on his head. It looked incredibly tiny against his huge head, and she couldn’t help her giggle at the image.
Rolling his bright blue eyes toward her, he nudged her hand, and she got the message. Tentatively at first, then gaining confidence, she ran her hand over his head, burying her fingers in his fur. It was incredibly soft to touch, and she started petting him with both hands, enjoying it. He started purring, and judging by the look in his eyes and the way he leaned into her touch, he was enjoying it, as well.
Holy moly. She was petting a tiger. And it wasn’t just any tiger. It was Ian.
Her life had taken a strange, out of this world turn, but she had to admit, she wouldn’t change a moment of it. Ian had been telling her the truth about his dual nature, and she thought hard, digging deep inside her to see if this affected things, if it changed her feelings for him. But it didn’t.
Tiger or not, he was still just Ian, the most amazing man she’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. And he was hers. After a lifetime of tragedy, how in the world did she get so lucky? If this was the universe’s way of balancing the scales, it was being done in spectacular fashion.
After a while, the tiger backed up, making the same hunching motion Ian had earlier. In a moment, Ian was standing in front of her, gloriously naked. Shooting her a breath-stealing smile, he quickly pulled on his jeans and shirt, reclaiming the spot beside her on the bed. Leaning in, he placed a soft kiss on her lips that was intense, for all its gentleness.
“Thank you for that,” he whispered as he pulled back, staring into her eyes. “Thank you for not completely freaking out. For accepting me and allowing that moment.”
Blinking back the tears misting her eyes, Holly stroked his cheek and shook her head. “Thank you for giving me that moment. For telling me the truth.”
Pressing another kiss to her lips, he pulled back with a crooked smile. “Now that we’ve both thanked each other, do you have questions?”
“So many,” she admitted with a small grin. “But first—you said Shelby is a tiger, as well?”
“She is. She’s not that happy about it, but there’s nothing anyone can do to change it.”
“Why isn’t she happy with it?”
Blowing out a breath, Ian squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. When he reopened them, pain glinted from the bright blue depths. “Shelby’s mother is a tiger, as well. I met her when I was nineteen, too young and stupid to realize her true nature. See, my adopted parents weren’t shifters. I learned what I knew about being a shifter from Chase MacKeltar. We’ve been friends since we were kids, and he recognized what I was, talked me through it.
“When my parents died, I wanted to find more people like me. Chase was great, but he and his family are wolves, and the only other shifters around are grizzlies. I wanted to find more tigers, learn more about my culture. I heard of a tribe not too far from here, and I set out to find them. They weren’t welcoming, not in the slightest, but I was determined to stay as long as I could and learn about my heritage. I met a girl around my age, Farrah, and she was nice to me. The only one there who was. And before long, I was falling into bed with her.”
Ian paused, and her heart clenched, jealousy flooding her. Lecturing herself about how she had no right to be jealous, considering her past with Kyle, she attempted to keep her voice even when she spoke. “And Farrah is Shelby’s mom?”
“Egg donor is more like it,” he spat, a muscle in his jaw bunching tight. “After she got pregnant, she became distant. I thought it was because I didn’t have a place in the tribe, no way of bringing in the income to support her and the baby. So I left with the promise to make things right. I met up with Jax, who I knew from school, and for lack of better options, we learned how to fight. We fought underground, in brutal fights where we had to suppress our animals and our instincts. When a shifter is in a fight, their animal wants out so they can protect and defend. But we couldn’t allow that to happen, so we worked endlessly on control.
“It was hard, though. Sometimes we were expected to throw a fight if we wanted a payday, and that was always the hardest. Letting someone pummel you and hardly fighting back is unnatural to a shifter. To anyone, really, but more so for one of us. But we began making good money, and after the baby was born, I went back to the War Cats, eager to take care of my little family.”
He paused, and Holly squeezed his hand, trying to lend him her support. She could tell, by the look in his eyes, that whatever he had to say next was going to be bad.
“One important aspect of tiger culture, something I wasn’t even aware of, is they prize beauty,” he continued. “Above all else. It’s more important to them than honor, strength, kindness—anything. Anyone who is not physically perfect, whether they’re just not pleasing to the eye, or whether they have an actual deformity, is considered Other, and at the bottom of the tribe. They’re believed to be less than the others, less important, less meaningful, just less. And they’re treated as such, often becoming servants and good for nothing more than serving the higher ranking members.
“Shelby’s birthmark put her in that category. And she was treated accordingly. Even by Farrah. To give birth to a child with what they consider a deformity is a mark of shame. Farrah’s rank was lowered, and she took it out on Shelby. She would have treated her like dirt anyway, because that’s the tiger way, but she was even more harsh and abusive because of how Shelby reflected on her.
“Farrah didn’t want her. She hated her, in fact. But tiger’s also do not give up their cubs, so no matter how I begged and pleaded, she wouldn’t let me take Shelby. I didn’t give a damn about a birthmark, and I could have killed every member of that tribe for their treatment of her, starting with Farrah. But I was denied custody and forcibly removed from the gates. They never let me back in. I’d come back every few months, and one of the tribe would bring Shelby to the gates so I could see her. God, Holly. She was this really skinny, scared, filthy little thing, and more often than not, covered in bruises.”
“Oh my God,” Holly breathed, heart breaking at the image. “Poor Shelby. How can anyone treat a child like that? I don’t understand why they wouldn’t just let you have her, if they hated her so much.”
“It’s a pride thing with the tigers,” he replied grimly. “I wasn’t raised in that culture, so I don’t understand it, but it’s everything to them. You know, I used to feel lost, like I was nothing without my people. But now I’m beyond grateful that I never grew up surrounded in that.” He went quiet for a moment, muscle jumping rhythmically in his jaw. “They had her waiting on other members of the tribe by the time she was two. Who does that? She was just a baby.”
Tears burning her eyes, Holly shook her head helplessly. That’s not something she’d ever understand. Pausing as a thought occurred to her, she said, “Wait, didn’t you say Kian is from her tribe? And you guys made a comment earlier about him being a prince, so he must be pretty high ranking, right?”
“He is. The only person more powerful than Kian is his father, the alpha.”
“Then why the hell didn’t he put a stop to it? If he’s that powerful, he would have been able to, but he didn’t. And here you are, close friends with him, letting him spend all this time with Shelby?” she said, indignant and ready to throw Kian out of Shelby’s life herself, tiger prince or not.
Looking at her in appreciation, he smiled. “You would make an amazing tigress. I’d love to see it one day.” Her eyes widened at his words, but he continued speaking like what he said wasn’t earth shattering. “Kian wasn’t there for it, or he would have stopped it. He left to travel around the world, visit his family’s homeland of India, right before I showed up the first time. When he finally came home and saw how Shelby was being treated, he stepped in as her protector and put a stop to it. He also lobbied his father to let me have custody of Shelby. Without his help, I never would have gotten her back. She’d still be stuck with her mother in that horrible excuse for a tribe.”
“I see,” she said softly. “I guess he deserves a medal instead of an ass whooping, then.”
Throwing his head back with a laugh, Ian replied, “I guess he does. It cracks me up when I hear you curse, because you never do.”
“Well, this seemed like an occasion that called for it,” she said with a small smile. “I’m so glad you have Shelby back. This explains why she was so shy and nervous when she started school. I can only imagine how she was when you first got custody. She’s come a long way just in a couple months from how she was when I first met her.”
“She really has. It’s remarkable. The only thing that hasn’t improved much is her fear of her animal.”
“That’s right, you said she doesn’t like being a tiger. Why is she scared of it?”
“According to the War Cats, aside from being treated like shit, those who they consider inferior like they do Shelby aren’t worthy of roaming their woods when they shift. When Shelby started shifting at five years old, they made her do so in a cage. That’s unbelievably cruel to a tiger, to any shifter animal, really. We need to roam, explore, need the open space around us. Being forced to shift in a cage made her animal defiant, unruly and unmanageable. As a result, they’re disconnected, not the one being they should be. And Shelby always worries that her tiger won’t give her her body back. She always shifts with one of us. She can’t make herself do it on her own yet.”
Exhaling in sadness, Holly stared at her fingers as they twisted themselves together. This all made her so sick, literally sick to her stomach. It was amazing that Shelby was as sweet and well-adjusted as she was. Sometimes, Holly wanted to rail at the universe. She would have loved a baby with every particle of her being, would have treated one well and loved it fiercely. But it never happened for her. And yet people like Farrah, nasty and black hearted to their core, had babies as easily as a snap of their fingers.
Shaking her head, she forced all of those thoughts out of her head, changing the subject before she lost it, because she was dangerously close. “So is there anything else different about you, besides shifting into animals?”
He looked surprised at the change for a moment, and then he rolled with it. “We don’t get sick, and we have accelerated healing. We have enhanced hearing and vision, and are stronger and faster. We can hear lies. And we each have a shifter gift, something we’re talented at. Some have physical gifts, and some have mental.”
Realization dawned. “So that’s why you said I never had to worry about you getting sick.”
Taking her hands, he squeezed. “Exactly. What happened with Kyle—that won’t happen with me. Nothing like that will.”
Nodding thoughtfully, she felt a weight lift off her heart she hadn’t even realized was there. “What’s your gift?”
“It’s a mental gift, and it’s two part. The one I don’t tell many is that I can sense what kind of animal a shifter has. That’s what made it so easy to find my kind. The other part is being able to tell if people are good or bad. It can be a handy gift to have.”
“It does sound handy. What did your gift say about me?” she asked, curious.
“That you’re pure. You have the purest soul I’ve come across before. I was attracted to you from the beginning, before my tiger said you were my mate, but I hesitated because of how good you were. I didn’t feel good enough for you.”
“That’s just ridiculous,” she scoffed. “Of course you are. But what do you mean by mate?”
IAN FROZE FOR A SECOND AT THE QUESTION. OF COURSE, he’d planned to tell her, but he hadn’t intended to just yet. He’d wanted to wait until after the showdown tomorrow. But there was no getting around it now.
Searching her eyes, he squeezed her hands as he leaned in for a kiss, unable to resist. “Every shifter has a true mate. We can love many, but there’s only one out there who’s truly meant to be ours. When we find this person, there are instant, hard and fast feelings, but we don’t know for sure they’re our mate until our animals confirm it. Mates are rare and precious, and they mean everything to us, to our human and animal sides. We’d do absolutely anything for them, anything to make them happy, and once we meet our mates, we don’t see anyone else. Mates are permanent. Once we find that person, they’re it for us for life, whether they agree to be with us or not.”
Lips parted, she stared at him and swallowed hard. “And that’s what I am to you? Your… mate?”
“You’re exactly that, Holly. I don’t want you to feel pressured. There’s no rule that says you have to agree. And I’m going to fight for you like I said, no matter what, but what you choose to do is ultimately up to you, and no one else.”
Eyes dropping to his lips, she leaned forward and kissed him, murmuring against his lips, “You don’t have to fight for me any longer, Ian. You already won. I’m yours.”
Heart swelling, he crushed her to him, pouring every bit of his emotions into the kiss. He nipped her bottom lip hard before passing his tongue over her lips. She immediately opened, and he swept inside, intent on owning every part of her mouth.
Putting her hands on his chest, she pushed, tearing her mouth from his. Panting, she said, “As much as I’d love to continue that, we still have stuff to talk about, and we were dangerously close to losing ourselves in that kiss.”
Trying to calm his racing heart, he ran his fingers through his hair, breathing deeply. “You’re right, of course. What else do you want to know?”
Looking at him apologetically, she said, “I’m sorry. I know we’ve been talking a while already, but—”
“It’s okay. We need to get everything out in the open. Don’t apologize for needing answers.”
“Right. Okay. Tell me what’s going on. Why someone’s trying to kill you, what Alex meant when he said the tigers are coming, all of it.”
“We’re not actually sure it’s me that’s the target. That arrow was aimed at Kian. The food that was poisoned was the same for both of us. And the roof could have caved in on anyone. I thought it was me because of your car, but the arrow today suggests otherwise. I just don’t know at this point.”
Looking unhappy, she nodded. “And that stuff about the tigers coming?”
Exhaling, he answered reluctantly, “Alex’s shifter gift is that he has visions of the future. That’s what happened earlier. And he saw the War Cats coming for us. That’s not good, Holly. They’re very skilled, well trained warriors. No one goes up against them because they’re virtually undefeatable. Them coming here… it’s bad.”
Eyes wide, she stared at him, not looking like she was breathing. “Kian’s their prince, right? Can’t he put a stop to it?”
“He could, but he took off before Alex had the vision, so he doesn’t know it’s happening. And we’ve tried calling him. No one can get ahold of him. That might have changed since we’ve been in here talking, but I doubt it.”
“Ian,” she whispered, the terror in her voice hitting him like a punch in the gut. “When?”
Hesitating, he finally said softly, “Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” she screeched, causing him to hunch his shoulders defensively around his ears. “There’s a tribe of deadly warriors coming here tomorrow?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe,” he assured her, squeezing her hands. “All of the human mates, Shelby, and Cammie, since she’s pregnant, are leaving town first thing in the morning and staying hidden. I need you to go with them.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about, you idiot,” she snapped. “You’re going to face a bunch of trained warriors with who? Just you, Jax, Seth, and Alex? Hell no, Ian. Everyone talks about what an amazing fighter you are, but even you can’t win against that. You can’t do this. Come with us. We can all run. We can all be safe.”
“I can’t do that, sweetheart. I can’t run from this. And doing so would mean a life on the run, forever looking over our shoulders, until we die. You, me, and Shelby. No, I have to do this. Please try to understand that.”
“It’s like you have a death wish, Ian. I can’t lose you. I can’t. I just barely survived losing Kyle. Losing you would break me for good.”
“You won’t lose me. We’ll figure this out.”
“You can’t promise me that, and what’s to figure out? Four against how many? No, it can’t work.” A pensive expression on her face, she was quiet for a bit before her head snapped up. “You said something earlier. Something about me making a good tigress, and you wanted to see it one day. You said it like it was possible. Is it?”
Dread filled him as he searched her eyes, full of determination. Reluctantly, needing there to be no more lies or omissions of truth between them, he said, “Yes. If I claim you as my mate, I’d bite you. My bite would make you a shifter.”
Nodding, she pulled her shirt down, exposing her shoulder. “Then do it. Make me one of you. If I’m a tiger, I can help you tomorrow. I can stand at your side.”
Staring at her in dismay, he shook his head. “Holly, no. Not like this. And even if I turned you, I wouldn’t let you come tomorrow. Shifters are stronger and have accelerated healing, true, but we can still be killed. I’m not risking you like that.”
“Oh, you just made me feel so much better about tomorrow,” she replied sarcastically with a roll of her eyes. Softening, she leaned in close. “Please, Ian. Make me one of you. Let me help.”
Searching for words, he cleared his throat before speaking gently. “Sweetheart, even if I wanted you there tomorrow—which I don’t, by the way; I want you far away—it wouldn’t be possible. Turning you would heal you, Holly. It would heal your leg. Which is wonderful, but it would be a long and painful process, because of the damage. Hannah, Chase’s mate, had an ankle injury when she was turned. She had screws just like you do. And her animal pushed them out. Right out of her bone, through muscle and skin. She’s completely healed now, but even with shifter healing, it was still several days before her ankle was okay. There’s no way you would be in any condition to help by tomorrow. I’m sorry, but it’s just not possible.”
Shoulders slumping, she whispered, “I’m scared, Ian. I can’t handle anything happening to you. I want to help in any way I can.”
Hooking his finger under her chin, he urged her to lift her face so he could look her in the eye. “The best way you can help me is by going with the other mates and Shelby, and keeping yourself safe. I need to know you’re safe.” Waiting until she nodded, he leaned in and kissed her softly. “Besides, if and when I claim you, I don’t want it to be because you’re scared of losing me, or because you want to help me do something. I want—no, need—it to be because you can’t live without me. I want it to be because you love me, like I love you. I want it to be because we can’t live without each other.”
“I already know I can’t live without you,” she replied shakily. Blue-green eyes wide and glistening with tears, she whispered, “You love me?”
“More than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone, save Shelby. And what’s a very different kind of love,” he said with a quick quirk of his lips that quickly faded. “You’re everything to me. You’re gorgeous, but more than that, you have the most beautiful, kindest heart I’ve ever seen. And I don’t deserve you, but I’ll work hard, and every day, I’ll come a little bit closer, though I might not ever catch up. But I’m damn well going to try. I love you, so damn much, Holly.”
Staring at him in awe, she briefly closed her eyes, a few tears spilling over. Opening them, she raised his hand and kissed his tattooed knuckles while she took a deep breath. “I love you too, Ian. And I never imagined, not in a million years, that I’d love a man again. But you burrowed straight through my walls and defenses and stamped yourself on my heart, piece by piece. I’m not going to say I love you more than Kyle, but what I feel for you is so different, so intense, so—everything. You, and Shelby, give me so much, and I feel complete with you.”
Relief washed over him and he swayed, knowing if he’d been standing, her words would have brought him to his knees. Pulling her close, he kissed her softly, gently, pouring every bit of love he felt for her into it.
Easing back, Holly searched his eyes. “I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I don’t want to think about that tonight. Tonight, we’re here, together, in each other’s arms. And I want to revel in that, to burn this moment in my mind forever. Make love to me, Ian.”