The second I got inside my house I collapsed onto my living room couch.

What the fuck.

I thought everything had been going so well, and that I really could leave the past in the past.

But then Russ had come out and told me that he had been in this area, at least once every year. He’d never made any attempt to see me, and I sure as hell hadn’t even known he’d been only a short drive away.

I must really have been that forgettable to him.

I got up, dragging myself over to the kitchen and pouring a small glass of Pinot Noir. I brought it back to the living room, gazing out the big front window down the street.

He was there. He was right there, on my street, back in my life. I’d probably made a fool of myself running out of his house like that, but I couldn’t stand to be in the room with him any longer. I didn’t know if staying and inevitably shouting or crying would be worse, or if I’d made the wrong decision fleeing from his house.

It was such a perfect house for him, too. Everything I’d always imagined for him. Pretty red front door, under a nice little front awning, with a nice deck and a verdant lawn. He probably could have afforded something much bigger with his salary, but it was a cute house, nonetheless.

I looked down into my own yard, at the unkempt flowerbeds and one of the lampposts that needed a new bulb, suddenly hyperaware of everything wrong with it.

But why should I have cared what Russ would think? He hurt me. Ignored me for years. And as angry as I was, some part of me still wanted his approval, his attention, his friendship.

I couldn’t even remember the last time he had given me any of those three.

As I sipped my wine, lounging on the couch and gazing out the window, suddenly that cherry-red front door on his house swung open.

A jolt of adrenaline shot through me, and I sat up so abruptly that I spilled a splash of wine onto my rug.

“Fuck,” I whispered as I saw him emerge from his house, with something in his hand, and cross the street.

Was he actually coming over here? I scrambled away from the front window as I saw him heading in the direction of my house, and I went down the hallway to my room, which faced the back.

For all I knew, he was coming over to tell me off for how impolite I’d been when I left. Hell, I didn’t even think I’d managed to say a proper goodbye.

The seconds stretched on as my heart pounded in my chest.

Jesus Christ, I thought. I was a grown man hiding out in my own house, from his own former best friend. It was beyond immature, but I couldn’t muster the energy to see him again tonight.

I knew it would probably end in tears.

So I waited in my bedroom, draining my glass of wine, fidgeting with a Rubik’s cube nervously as I waited for a knock or the doorbell.

But it never came. After a half hour I returned to the front of the house, and when I looked outside, the lights outside Russ’ house were now dark.

I took a deep breath. So he hadn’t been coming over to my place, after all.

I chided myself mentally for being so skittish and stupid, and when I finally went to bed, it took an hour to fall asleep. All I could feel was the vacillation between excitement at his return and the unique strain of anguish I hadn’t felt since he had left.

The next morning when I got up to go to work, his truck wasn’t in front of his house. When I went outside, there was a small envelope sitting on my doorstep. The front of it read “Devin,” in a handwriting I remembered all too well.

Russ hadn’t been coming over last night, he’d just been leaving this on my doorstep.

I picked it up, the outside slightly damp in the morning dew. Inside was the maple leaf, the beautiful one that held every rich shade of red, gold, and green.

And damn it, no matter how much I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t help but feel a rush of affection in that moment.

It was only a leaf. And yet he knew it was important to me, and he’d taken care to return it to me.

Fuck you, Russ Dalton, I thought, for being so sweet.

* * *

“That’s a penis.”

“Ugh, it is so obviously not a penis!”

“Girl, look at that thing. What could that be other than a big dick?”

“It’s a flower, you dork.”

“Flowers are all just reproductive organs. Don’t you listen in Biology?”

“I listen to you sniveling for the whole hour, so no. What is yours, anyway? Some sort of weird tentacle anime? Is that what you’re looking up on your phone all the time?”

“Duh, you know mine is a succulent.”

“Well, your succulent sucks.”

“It’s better than your big, pink, plump, erect coc—”

“Danielle!” I said sternly, walking over to the table where the high school students were drafting their outlines for landscape paintings. “Enough with the inappropriate language. Why don’t you add some more shading to the Aloe Vera leaves on your own drawing and leave Natalie alone?”

I walked up behind Danielle and Natalie, gazing over their work. They were both talented students, and half of the time they seemed like they were friends, but Danielle had a flair for drama and a sailor’s mouth.

Kind of like how I had been at seventeen years old.

“Your drawing is looking great, Natalie,” I said. “Maybe just a few more outlines around the rear petals, but I think that will make a great painting.”

“Thanks, Mr. Crawford, And you should give Danielle detention,” she said with a devilish smile, darting a glance at Danielle.

“Just work on your drawings, please,” I said, giving Danielle a hard glance.

I made my way over to another table, checking on two boys’ drawings that really did seem overly phallic in nature, before crossing over to the other side of the art room and tidying up the back area with all the supplies.

It had been a long week at work, but I finally felt like I was falling into a good rapport with my students. Every year, it was a new challenge getting them to respect me, but I seemed to have gotten lucky with this bunch.

They could gripe at each other about dick-like objects, but as long as they stayed on task with their drawings and didn’t actively disrupt class while I lectured, I knew they were mostly doing okay.

And despite it being a long week, there had been a small inkling of panic in the back of my mind the whole time, especially when I walked down my street in the mornings and evenings. A low-level reminder in my subconscious beckoned every time I walked by the Andersons’ old house: Russ is back. Russ is back. He’s actually fucking back.

The night after I’d seen him, I half-thought I might have dreamed it. When I went outside that night I gazed over at his house as if to confirm: yes, the light was on inside, and yes, his pickup truck was still there, parked under the low-hanging branches of the big oak tree.

It still amazed me.

And in some small way, the potent mix of anger and hurt—but also, unfortunately, excitement—kept me going through the week, just a little more energy than I usually had.

The bell finally rang, signaling the end of the final class period of the day. I stayed for an hour afterward, working in my office, before heading down to the Promenade for the community drawing class. Meredith and Emmett weren’t joining tonight, but as I walked, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. It was a call from Emmett.

“How’s my talented, awesome, amazing baby brother doing this fine evening?” he said.

“Okay, Emmett, what do you want?”

“You think I have to want something?”

“You wouldn’t call me all those lovely adjectives if you didn’t. And, for that matter, you’d never call me in the first place if you didn’t need something. What’s up?”

He laughed nervously. “Uh, well, I don’t really need anything, per se, other than… I need you to not kill me when I tell you what I’m about to tell you.”

“Oh, God, what is it?”

“Russ Dalton is back in town. And… I may or may not have invited him to the fall festival with us.”

Immediately I felt my nerves light up and my skin prickle. I pulled in a long breath and let it out. “Oh. So he told you he was back in town?”

Had Emmett known Russ was moving back, and I hadn’t? The thought made me a little sick.

“You knew? And no, he didn’t exactly tell me. I ran into him at Bluebell Books. I swear, seeing him was like seeing the ghost of a dead man.”

“Tell me about it. I met him a few nights ago. He’s living in the Andersons’ old house.”

“Jesus. Wow. Are you… okay, Devin?”

“I’m fine. We’ve talked. I’m attempting to just let the past be in the past.”

“Okay. Well, then, maybe it’ll be good hanging out with him at the fall festival tomorrow night. Maybe you can own him in Skee-Ball. Give him some payback.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s how that works. But thanks for letting me know, Emmett. I’ve gotta go teach class now.”

“Have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I felt a low buzz as I walked into class, knowing that I’d be seeing Russ again the next day. It gave me an energy as I started the class, but Angelo was there again, and I found myself annoyed that he seemed to be looking at me more than the gourd he was supposed to be drawing.

I pulled in a deep breath when I saw him approaching me after class ended.

“Hi, Angelo,” I said, giving him a polite nod as I worked on gathering together all the now-empty easels and chairs. After working for over twelve hours, my shoulders ached, my feet hurt from standing all day, and I was ready to go home.

“Evening,” he said, leaning on the wall and watching me work. His voice was low and gravelly, and his leather jacket squeaked quietly as he moved. He stood there like that, just watching, as the rest of the people filed out and I finished cleaning up.

I brushed off my hands afterward, turning to him. “Is there something you needed, Angelo?”

He gave me a lazy nod. “You never answered my text message this week,” he said.

“Uh… I thought I did? You asked which pencils I’d recommend from the art store. I told you which Prismacolors I like best.”

“Yes. I got that message. You didn’t answer my other one.”

Angelo had texted me earlier in the week to ask about pencils, and I thought that was a fine question. But when I’d answered, he followed up with a message asking “how a hot little thing like me ended up as an underpaid art teacher.”

I hadn’t dignified him with a response. And in fact, he was getting on my nerves right then, too.

“I don’t talk with my students about anything but art, Angelo, please respect that.”

He nodded, still keeping his eyes on mine. “Okay,” he finally said. But it didn’t sound like he really got it.

“Thanks. I’ve got to lock up here now,” I said, walking around him to get to the front of the room. He followed, opening the front door and leaning on it.

“See you next week?” he said.

I nodded curtly, pulling up my shoulder bag and fishing out the key to the building. I exited after him, locking the door.

“Sure thing. Goodnight, Angelo,” I said, glad to see he was headed in the opposite direction from me.

“See you,” he said, waving and loping away.

A rush of relief filled me as I started the walk back to my house. I couldn’t put my finger on why I was so averse to Angelo’s clear flirting—Emmett and Meredith were right, he was good looking.

But it was so clear that he only wanted sex.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s not as if I didn’t love a good hard fuck sometimes.

But casual sex had only ever made me feel empty. I’d had two boyfriends in my life, and both of the relationships lasted under a year. I was already thirty years old. I’d broken up with my last boyfriend three years ago over something kind of stupid—he’d said Rose Falls was a “shithole” that he couldn’t wait to get out of. Emmett had said it was a dumb reason to dump someone, but I couldn’t get over someone trashing my hometown like that.

And okay, fine, maybe I was also a little, teeny, tiny bit afraid of commitment. But it was my right to be as picky as I wanted to be, wasn’t it?

Since then I’d had a couple hookups, but it had been many months since I’d even done that. What was the point? I didn’t feel like I needed to hook up with any hot guy.

I wanted someone to come home to.

But so far it seemed like I always came home to an empty house.

* * *

The fall festival was the biggest event of the year in Rose Falls and brought together the whole town. The small park right at the end of the main street in the Promenade was outfitted with all of the best aspects of a fair—farm animal petting zoos, a haunted house, and my favorite part: a modestly sized Ferris wheel. The regular streets were also outfitted with booths, stands, and food trucks of all kinds, with everything from cotton candy to cider doughnuts to whack-a-mole.

And as I walked over to the festival Saturday night with Meredith, Emmett, and Russ, my mind was racing a million miles a minute. The sky was blanketed in a layer of clouds that made the whole town feel cozier, and the anticipation of the crowds and festivities were already enough.

But it had been about more than just that. All day I had been checking the time and looking forward to the evening, and I knew it wasn’t only because I loved the fall festival. It was because I was going there with Russ.

Somewhere in my subconscious I knew I’d been both dreading and looking forward to seeing him next, and God, I was thrown for a loop when he’d answered his door. He was wearing a sweater that clung to his toned body in all the right places, and nice leather boots like I’d never seen him wear before. In high school and college he’d always just worn some form of boring athletic clothing, but somewhere along the past eight years, Russ seemed to have developed a sense of style.

On the walk up to the Promenade, Russ caught up with Emmett and got to know Meredith a little bit. Meeting Meredith for the first time was a task even I had found demanding—she didn’t “get to know” someone as much as she grilled them completely. Which she was doing to Russ right now.

“So, you decided to move back here?” she asked, lifting an eyebrow at Russ. Her hair was in two long braids and she was decked out in full fall regalia, with a scarf and brown lace-up boots.

Russ smiled a little and nodded. “Rose Falls is my home. I can’t even tell you how glad I am to be back.”

She shook her head a little. “I don’t think I’d ever come here if it weren’t for the focus on the arts. But more power to you. And you were married?”

“Almost. I was engaged, but it didn’t work out.”

“And you came here to get over him?” she asked, her voice slightly softer and kinder.

“Her,” Russ said, and as we passed under a streetlamp I could see that he flushed red, darting a quick glance at me. “Erica.”

“Meredith, you’re going to scare him back to California if you keep hounding him like this,” Emmett said.

I was sure as hell glad he said something because I felt like I was stunned into silence. Why had Meredith assumed Russ was engaged to a guy?

Russ laughed, waving a hand. “It’s fine. I appreciate it, actually. Nothing wrong with a little blunt honesty.”

“See? He gets me,” Meredith said with a quirk of a smile.

“And whoever designed this gets me,” I said as we approached the Promenade and paused in the grand entrance to the festival. It was always pretty, but it was especially elaborate this year, with garlands of leaves, twinkle lights, and plenty of hydrangea flowers. Behind the entrance, the festival was already in full swing, with families and couples and music and games. I could smell the apple cider and the scent of frying funnel cakes.

I almost jumped when I felt a warm hand on the small of my back. I turned to see Russ right behind me, smiling a little and pushing me forward. For a moment I was transfixed, looking up into his eyes, my brain somehow launching into a world where it would be normal for him to touch me like that all the time.

“Behind you,” Russ said, nodding back to a woman pushing a double stroller.

I moved out of the way quickly, and Russ dropped his hand away from my back.

Stupid. I’d been so wrapped up in the fact that Russ had been touching me that I hadn’t even realized he was just preventing me from being in someone’s way.

“Now, all three of you have a responsibility to me tonight,” Meredith said as we walked a little further down the street, gazing at the food booths set up at the entrance. “First thing: do not, under any circumstances, let me eat more than three cider doughnuts. And second: if you meet a hot, single straight man, you have to tell him about your charming friend Meredith. Do we have a deal?”

“We have a deal,” I said.

“Go ahead and sign me up for the second part of that deal, too,” Emmett said as he scanned the festival. “Except, y’know, if you meet non-straight guys tell them about me.”

“You and Devin are going to have to fight over those guys,” Meredith said, winking at me. “Battle of the brothers for the sexiest gay bachelors in Rose Falls.”

I felt my cheeks heating. “You guys act like we’re here solely for the purpose of finding guys.”

Emmett and Meredith looked at each other, then shrugged. “Yeah, kind of,” Emmett said, his mouth pulling into a grin. “With a side of cider.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, that certainly isn’t why I’m here,” I said. I turned to Russ. “Ignore these two. They’re far too jaded about life and they think that everyone else should be, too.”

“It’s not jaded. I can still enjoy the fall ambiance even if it’s not the sole reason I’m here,” Emmett said.

“Ooh—” Meredith said, tapping Emmett on the shoulder and speaking low into his ear. “Guy at the crepe stand with the cute Pomeranian. Wanna go get a Nutella crepe and make friends with him?”

Emmett nodded, then turned to wave at me and Russ. “See you around,” he said as Meredith dragged him toward the crepe stand.

I turned to Russ, shaking my head. “I should have warned you about them,” I said. “Sorry if her grilling was way too blunt. Meredith’s like that.”

“Are you kidding? Meredith seems great,” Russ said. “Certainly wouldn’t want to get on her bad side, but I like her a lot.”

I breathed out, not even realizing I’d been holding my breath. “Um, also… I’m sorry about the other night and thank you for returning that leaf. It was a small thing, but it meant a lot to me.”

“Oh, of course,” he said. “And… don’t worry about it. We haven’t seen each other in a long time, I’m sure it will take us a while to be totally comfortable again.”

Totally comfortable. He wanted to be totally comfortable around me?

I changed the subject. “This place looks amazing this year.”

I know, they have really taken the fall festival to a whole new level since I left. This is way more extravagant than I remembered.”

“It’s even more extravagant than it was last year. This is the best I’ve ever seen it. They must have known you were coming back, huh?”

“Pretty sure nobody here even remembers me other than you. And Emmett, I guess.”

“You remember Sally Tremblay?”

“Oh, God, Sally. Is she still here? She tried to pull my shorts down one day in seventh grade.”

I nodded. “Yup. She stole my Gatorade for practically all of eighth grade, remember? Yeah, she is still here. Married some guy and has two kids now. I see her sometimes in the grocery store and she’s still just a hateful woman. She’s cut me in line a couple times. So be careful what you wish for in terms of seeing people here you remember,” I said with a laugh.

Russ met my eyes, suddenly seeming hesitant. “Is, uh… Mauricio still here?” he finally asked.

I blinked, for a second trying to remember who I even knew named Mauricio. I hadn’t thought about him in years. I’d lost my virginity to him in college, sophomore year. He’d been great for about three weeks before leaving me for another guy. He made his rounds through half the gay community in college.

“God, no,” I said. “He left Rose Falls and went to Manhattan as fast as he could after school ended. I completely forgot about him.”

Russ nodded, and I swore I saw relief on his face. “I never liked him. Seemed like he kind of broke your heart, and I always wanted to beat him up for that.”

I gave Russ a half smile. “Thanks. I never knew you even thought about him at all.”

“I was hoping you hadn’t gotten back together and were married to him now, or something.”

I burst out into a harsh laugh. “Me? Married? To him? Jesus, Russ, you really have been gone a long time,” I said, shaking my head.

He shrugged. “You’re a catch. It’s not exactly weird to think someone would have put a ring on that finger yet.”

I laughed again. “Are you trying and failing to quote Beyoncé right now? Put a Ring On It?”

“No comment,” Russ said, his lips twisting into a grin.

Russ had never been great at pop culture references, and I saw that it was still very much the case.

But despite how adorable that was, I couldn’t help but think of one thing he’d said: You’re a catch.

He thought I was a catch? Russ had never said anything like that to me back in the day. I appreciated the compliment, but it took me by complete surprise.

“Anyway,” Russ said, letting out a long breath and clapping his hands together. “Enough about people we never have to see again, right?”

I didn’t tell Russ that until last week, I’d thought he was someone I’d never see again. But unlike Mauricio, I was abundantly happy to see Russ again.

“We gotta enjoy this festival without thinking of dickheads from the past,” I said. “I could… challenge you to a game of Skee-Ball?”

Russ bit his bottom lip as he smiled. “Guess it’s time for me to bring my A game, huh?”

I nodded. “Loser buys winner a cider?”

“Deal.”

* * *

I led the way down the street. As we approached the end of the first block I caught sight of the Skee-Ball lanes and lifted an eyebrow at Russ. There were two teenagers playing at the moment, so we waited behind them.

“You know I always won when we were kids,” Russ said.

I hitched a shoulder in a shrug. “Well, we’re both a lot older now,” I said. “For all you know, I’ve been practicing this every day since you left, waiting for you to return so I could own you in Skee-Ball.”

“For all you know, I’ve been lying this whole time about being a physician assistant, and really I’ve dedicated my life to arcade games.”

I chuckled softly. “Oh, I’m going to destroy you, Russ. You’ll be mine by the end of the night.”

For a moment I thought I’d gone too far in our little play-rivalry because Russ blushed again and turned away a little. But after a few moments, the kids finished their game, and Russ stepped up to the lane, pumping in a few quarters and smiling back at me. My eyes drifted over his body, momentarily stunning me yet again. The guy looked like he could be in a fashion advertisement, and yet he was the same Russ I’d grown up with.

It took effort not to stare at his ass under his perfectly fitted jeans.

He played the first round, scoring 160 points, and then watched as I played a round. On my last ball I was at 120 points, and for a second I thought for sure I was about to eat my words and lose to Russ. But I managed to hit the 40-point hole on my last ball, and I whirled around to face Russ. He was grinning at me.

“Guess we’re both the reigning Skee-Ball champs?” I said.

“Oh, no, you’re not getting off that easy,” he said, walking up and adding more quarters to the machine.

We ended up playing two more rounds each. In the end, Russ beat me by a total of twenty points, but only after I laughed so hard I nearly cried when he accidentally managed to make a ball ricochet backward and a dog ran off with it. By the time he finished I was having too much fun to care at all who won.

“Okay, okay, I accept defeat,” I said, throwing my hands in the air. “Pick a drink and some food and I’m buying.”

We got cider doughnuts and pumpkin beers and sat on one of the picnic benches nearby, eating and watching the festivities ramp up.

“Oh, look,” Russ said after a swig of beer, pointing across the way to a cotton candy stand. “Meredith and Emmett made a friend.”

They were chatting with a guy I’d never seen before, tall with black hair and an alternative style.

“Good for them,” I said, finishing my doughnut. “I hope at least one of them finds what they’re looking for. They can stop trying to constantly play matchmaker for me.”

“Is that what they do?”

I nodded. “Unfortunately, yes. They mean well, and it’s actually pretty sweet, but I’m not looking to be set up with anyone. It never leads to anything good for me.”

“Really? I’ve gotta say, I’m surprised.”

I met his eyes. “Surprised? Why?”

He shrugged, taking a long sip of beer. “I don’t know,” he finally said. “It’s just… you’re an artsy, cool person in an artsy, cool town, and you’re certainly attractive. I kind of can’t believe you’re still single.”

I swallowed, staring blankly at him.

Russ was saying I was attractive? After saying I was a “catch” earlier?

I felt like I was in bizarro world.

After a moment, I finally spoke. “You’d be surprised how many ‘artsy, cool’ people are really just snobby and elitist. I don’t know. I haven’t found any guys here that are right for me.” I pulled in a lungful of air and tugged at the sleeve of my flannel. I was used to Meredith hounding me about my love life, but it was another thing entirely to talk about it with Russ.

“Well, I think you could have any guy you wanted,” Russ said with a shrug. He finished his beer and got up to go recycle the plastic cup before returning. “C’mon. Let me go win you something at the ring toss?”

I swore that if I hadn’t known Russ, I would have thought he was flirting with me.

We started back down the path toward more games. The festival had begun to fill up with crowds, and we pushed past to make our way through. When a woman with a large group of kids walked by, I squeezed to the side, making room for them. Russ draped his arm across my waist, pulling me in closer to him, and for a moment our bodies were pressed up against each other along our sides.

His body was warm in the crisp air, and I could smell the faint scent of his shampoo. He smelled like Russ, comforting and familiar but exciting all at once. It took everything in me not to lean up closer against him, to rest my head along his shoulder, fitting in against him like a puzzle piece.

I couldn’t help but think of how we’d fit together in other ways, too.

But as quickly as it had happened, it ended. When the group passed us by Russ released me and I realized uncomfortably that I’d somehow become half-hard in the process. I motioned for Russ to continue on ahead of me so I could have a moment to calm down and figure out what the fuck I was doing.

He was gorgeous. Even more gorgeous than I’d always thought he was when we were younger.

But it was Russ. I couldn’t forget our past history, forget that he was just trying to be friends, forget that he was fucking straight. Somehow I felt like wires had been crossed in my head.

After snaking through various booths, we finally located the ring toss. The booth was small but had plenty of gaudy decoration, with flashing neon lights and silly music playing.

“Aww,” I said, noticing a plush animal in the prizes section of the booth. “See that dog with the leaf in its mouth?”

Russ turned to me, looking over his shoulder. “It looks exactly like Sadie,” he said quietly.

Sadie had been my childhood dog, a sweet golden retriever who had passed away right before Russ and I went to college. She’d been a crazy puppy but had mellowed into the perfect family dog, who was just as content to act as a body pillow as she had been to run around and play fetch.

Russ had loved Sadie as much as I had.

“It even has a maple leaf in its mouth,” he said, pointing at the plush animal. “It’s perfect, Devin. I’m gonna win you that one.”

I hummed. “I don’t know,” I said skeptically, coming around to stand at his side. “That’s one of the top-tier prizes. You have to land every single ring on the center spoke to get that one.”

“Exactly,” he said. He smiled at me, his eyes glinting. “Watch me do it.”

An older man came up from behind the booth and sold Russ a batch of five rings, and Russ bent down slightly, zeroing in on the center spoke in the back of the tent. He eyed it like a hawk would watch prey, performing some silent calculations behind his eyes.

He threw the first ring, and it missed completely, falling to the floor.

“Damn,” he said under his breath.

“Oh, well,” I said, “You can still at least try for that tiny rubber ducky prize.”

“I don’t want that one. I’m going to win you the dog. I mean, come on, it has a maple leaf. It’s too perfect.”

He lazily tossed the rest of the rings and then shelled out the cash for another set. I waited at his side and for a moment it seemed like he might actually have done it, but the second-to-last ring fell onto a different spoke and he lost again.

“It’s fine, Russ, seriously,” I said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Want to go find some more food?”

He shook his head, eyes still focused ahead as he pulled out his wallet again. I let out a small sigh, smiling a little as he paid for another round of rings.

After two more attempts, he still hadn’t been able to win the stuffed animal.

He turned to me, crestfallen, after losing for the fourth time. “Alright,” he said with a sad shrug.

“You tryin’ for that dog up there?” the old man behind the booth said, walking up toward us.

Russ turned back. “Yeah, I was trying to win it for him,” he said, nodding over at me.

The old man cracked a sly smile which wrinkled all the way up to his eyes. He grabbed a stick with a hook on the end and used it to pull down the stuffed dog.

“Here ya go,” he said, handing it over to Russ. “Now, don’t tell anyone else I did this for you, but I saw how hard you were tryin’ to get that for your boyfriend.” The man beamed at us.

“Oh, he’s—he’s not my boyfriend—” Russ started.

“We’re not—” I said, feeling my cheeks head as I darted my eyes over at Russ.

“He’s my best friend,” Russ said finally, and I noticed that his cheeks were the same shade of red as the maple leaf in the dog’s mouth.

Jesus. Russ hadn’t referred to me as his best friend since… since high school, probably.

“Ah, well,” the old man said with a shrug. “Sure is obvious that you two care about each other.” He walked back toward the other end of the booth.

I was still blushing as I turned to Russ. We stared at each other for a few seconds, our mouths slightly open, wordless.

And then, I was amazed as Russ started laughing. Just a little chuckle at first, but then as he started laughing harder, I couldn’t stop myself either.

We laughed for an unreasonable amount of time, and as I finally stopped, feeling like my cheeks were on fire, I realized what a big deal it was.

When Russ and I were teenagers, he never would have laughed about something like that. There were never any terrible bullies at our high school, but after I came out, there were certainly guys who were uncomfortable with the fact that I was gay and proud.

Some of those guys were friendly with Russ, though, and they had teased him about it—asking why he hung out with me so much, and wondering if Russ was “like me.”

Russ wasn’t gay, and he told them so. But in hindsight, I knew that it was the beginning of the end of our friendship. We still hung out all through college, but after that point, Russ had always made sure to not look too “close” to me when we hung out in public.

But he didn’t seem to be doing that at all anymore.

In fact, he’d voluntarily touched me tonight, twice, and had just laughed hard about being mistaken for my boyfriend.

After he handed me my prize, the soft plush smooth under my fingers, we walked aimlessly throughout the festival.

It was as if the slightly embarrassing moment with the ring toss attendant had solidified the fact that Russ and I were more comfortable around each other than we’d been in years.

Maybe he didn’t deserve it, and maybe I should still have been furious at him. But I couldn’t. I was enjoying being around him far too much.

It didn’t feel awkward anymore to lapse into silences and take in the scenery and festivities around us.

It didn’t feel weird when Russ put his hand at the small of my back or briefly grabbed my hand to lead me toward a hard cider stand.

And finally, after a week of butterflies and uncertainty, it didn’t feel strange at all to be with my best friend again. It actually felt like I was meant to be by his side.