Five months later

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THE TIME SHE HAD SPENT on Sarah's ranch was exactly what she needed. She had gone from being in a relationship with Cole to a very serious, and she saw now, very dependent friendship with Ev, to spiraling on her own. While she was away, she had stayed in contact with Ev and her brother, but the most surprising constant conversations that she had were with Katherine, who she had managed to become very close to. They bonded over bitching about Ev and his bad habits in the beginning, and from there a true friendship had blossomed, so much so that Courtney was going to be standing up in their wedding, on Katherine's side.

The other person she had been in communication with was Cole. It had started with her sending short little messages to him, letting him know all was good, like when he found out there was a wildfire near her area and she responded to let him know that they were safe. From there it became a thing for them.

She had come in for the day and was watching T.V. with Sarah when their program was interrupted with a breaking news cut in. Her heart slammed to her stomach when she heard the reporter say, “We’re breaking in live to report a shooting in our nation’s Capital tonight. Several state employees are reported to be engaged with the suspect, and you can hear gunfire. Officials are urging anyone in the area to immediately seek shelter and to turn to your local news channel for continual updates.”

That was as much as she could listen to before she jumped up and yanked her phone from her pocket and dialed Cole’s number. Neither woman so much as breathed until he answered on the third ring. Sarah relaxed into the couch when she saw the relief on Courtney’s face.

“Cole! Thank God! There’s a shooting in D.C., and I was terrified. They said that there’s a shootout or something!”

“Damn, are you serious? Court, I’m in Italy.”

“What about the boys?”

“They aren’t stateside right now either.”

They had talked on the phone for another thirty minutes that night and started to have short conversations afterwards. Both treaded very carefully around their past and instead got to know one another as they currently were.

He found out that she loved Cabernet Sauvignon, and she learned that he only drank his scotch neat.

They shared a newfound love of blues bars, which they had never experienced together as a couple, and he laughed out loud when she told him about her and Sarah getting kicked out of a drag show.

“Do I even want to know how you managed that?”

She blushed just thinking about their drunken antics from the night before. “Well, see, we were drinking, um, quite a bit, and we got to talking about how they were working it. I’m serious. These guys had makeup that was on point, and they were strutting in stripper shoes that I would have died in. So, we decided to follow one of them to their dressing room to ask if he would do our makeup and give us pointers. I guess we came on a little too strong because the bouncer, a very unfeminine man, told us if we didn’t leave, he was calling the cops. We just wanted to know how he did it!” The last sentence was spoken higher than the rest because he had started to chuckle, which embarrassed her even further.

He called her when he went to an Elvis tribute show in Tennessee and caused an impromptu dance party with her and Sarah.

“Baby Girl!” he yelled over the crowd cheering in the background, “Check this shit out!” and she heard the unmistakable buh-dun dun-dun, and the Elvis impersonator started to sing about the Jailhouse Rock.

She put the phone on speaker, and both women were laughing hysterically as they danced to the music coming over the speaker.

They weren't in contact every single day, and it wasn't planned. They called when one of them got the inclination, and they never made plans for a future call. All future planning was on hold until they talked after Katy and Ev's wedding.

When Sarah's assistant came back a few weeks early, Sarah offered to keep her on, but at that point, Katy was frantic and wanted her to come help with wedding plans because everyone had an opinion. So, she packed up her car and made the insanely long drive back to Texas to help her friends prepare for their upcoming nuptials, even though both disregarded that she knew nothing about weddings.

The one person who didn't reach out to her while she was in California was Claire, but Katy assured her that she was ok. She was trying to come to grips with everything while trying to deal with her money-hungry mother, who no longer had her father to leach off of. Claire was staying with Katy and Ev now, so Courtney was making an out-of-the-way trip home to switch out her car for her truck and to load up her horses. Being away from her babies for months had killed, and she was excited to have someone to ride with and to have her living space in her horse trailer back.

She wasn't surprised to see her brother there when she pulled into her parents' drive, but she was surprised when he rushed out, yanked her door open, and started trying to tug her out of the car before she had even unbuckled her seatbelt. "Devon, what the fuck? I'm still buckled, asshole!"

He had the good grace to look ashamed for a moment while she unbuckled, but then he immediately yanked her out and pulled her into his arms. He spun playfully in a circle and pretended to sniff her. "You sure don't smell like the beach, little sister!"

"You idiot. I was in California three days ago, and the ranch was NOT on a beach. Texas has beaches, and we don't live on a beach."

"Oh." He set her down and looked disappointed. "Well, I always thought of Cali as all beaches and hot babes. That's actually kinda sad."

"Bro. You travel the world, and you've never been to Cali?"

He squinted at her. "The world,"—he drew a circle with his finger in the air in front of her—"not the States. What do I wanna travel my own country for? I can do that when I retire!"

"Speaking of..." Courtney started, but Devon turned and started back toward the house before she could go any further, effectively cutting off her sentence. "At least come get some bags, you lazy jerk!" Still, her brother pretended to not hear her and walked to the door. She could smell something cooking from inside, and she looked back at her car for a moment in indecision before shrugging and slamming the door shut to follow her brother. The bags could wait until later.

***

THE VISIT WITH HER parents was perfect. Even her goofy big brother was on his best behavior, and even though she was only in for one night, she was so incredibly happy to have that peace and sense of belonging back at being home. She was blessed to have her family and wouldn't trade them for the world. For dinner, Clint had come over and eaten with them, and the boys had regaled them with funny stories of their travel. She knew it wasn't all fun and good times. She had seen Cole battle his own demons way too many times to believe that was possible, but the way they told their stories, you wouldn't know it.

That night, lying in her childhood bed, she texted Cole to let him know she was calling it a night, and even though he didn't respond immediately, she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

The next morning, her parents waved her off for the hour-and-a-half drive to her friends' house. Her phone dinged with an incoming message, and when she opened it, she saw it was Cole saying that he had passed out early the night before but hated that he had missed a family dinner, and that he couldn't wait for the next couple of weeks to fly by, so they could finally talk.

That was the most real either of them had been in the months since she had left him standing in the hospital waiting room in Wolfe Springs, and for some reason, it made her feel panicky to think about it. She pushed the feelings behind her and vowed to worry about it when the time came, but she had already decided that she was done running and that she would make peace with the fact that the La Barron brothers would be in her life one way or the other.

When she was a few minutes away, she texted Katy to let her know that she was almost there, and she was pleasantly surprised when she pulled in and Katy and Claire were outside holding beers while Ev was standing in front of a smoking grill. These people should hate her, but instead, they were cooking out to celebrate her arrival.

Ev walked through the yard and stopped next to her driver’s side door, wearing a ridiculous apron that read 'Kiss The Cook,' so she rolled down the window to see what he needed and tried valiantly not to laugh at her newly domesticated friend.

"Throw her into park, and I'll get your girls out, put them in the pasture, then park your rig. The girls are beside themselves about you bein' here, and I have been ordered to send you to them."

"Umm, aren't you cooking?" She gestured to his outfit.

He smiled and looked back at Katy, who had taken up his spot in front of the grill. "I wear the apron, but my girl can grill a mean steak when she needs to."

"I, uh, well, Ev, this is a side of you I didn't expect." Courtney put her truck in park and opened the door to climb out.

Ev slung a friendly arm around her shoulders and said, "Court, domestication does funny things to a man. It's the damnedest thing. The first thing you realize, you have matching socks, and then you find out you gotta get new underwear when the old ones wear out, and before you know it, you're wearing aprons and shit." He shook his head playfully as Courtney watched him, bemused. "Alright, darlin', they got a beer with your name on it, so get on over there before it gets warm and Peach yells at me and makes me get you a new one!"

Shaking her head, she made her way to the other women. "Katy, I think you broke him, babe. He's all weird now," she said in a joking voice.

Katy looked at Claire, and then she burst into laughter. "He's just messing with you. He put that apron on right after my parents died, and I haven't seen it since. He pulled it out this morning to play with you. Don't worry, he's still the same-ol’, same-ol’." She reached out and handed Courtney a beer.

Taking the beer, Courtney looked at Claire and smiled. "Hey, Claire. Nice to see you!"

Claire smiled shyly and hesitantly at her, but Courtney could see the demons haunting her. It was the way Cole would look at her when he was battling the memories, and she got a chill as she looked at the woman. It was like the lights were on but nobody was home, and she couldn't tell if Katy noticed or not.

Finally, Claire spoke up, "Hey, Courtney, how was California?"

She smiled at her gently. "It was good. I missed home, but it was nice to change things up a bit. I needed the change to figure out my head, ya know?"

Claire nodded and looked back down at her beer, peeling at the label with fingernails bitten to the quick.

Courtney looked at Katherine and saw that she was staring at Claire in concern already.

Hmm. So, she has noticed something is going on.

Courtney took a drink from her beer and broke the awkwardness by asking, "Katy, can I do anything to help?"

Katy smiled at her and shook her head saying, "Nah, all’s good. I got it. Have a seat."

Courtney sat and asked, "So, what do we need to do to get you ready to change your name? We're less than two weeks out!"

Katy smiled and said, "I know! I'm so excited! So, tomorrow the three of us are heading into town to get our dresses fitted, and then we're going to grab lunch, then meet Thelma and head to the florist. Once we get that done, we have a cake tasting appointment, and then it's wine and facials here at the house with my friend Jo Ellen, who gives great facials. Then we're taking the weekend off to ride and kick back and enjoy. Monday it's," she whispered conspiratorially, "a full body wax for me and the rest of the day for recovery, Tuesday, manis and pedis for all of us, and Wednesday, we go back for our final dress fittings. Thursday, we are getting sloshed, and Friday, we make sure everything is ready and you guys roll your eyes at me while I run around like a crazy person freaking the heck out. Then Saturday, it's dun-dun-du-dun, dun-dun-du-dun. And I'm tired just from running all of that down."

Courtney's mouth was hanging open in shock, which caused the first real emotion in Claire so far when she snickered and spoke up, "She's been like this all week. Seriously, it's like someone took my nice, sweet cousin and replaced her with a madwoman."

Courtney looked from one of them to the other and back again before saying, "Why in the hell did I bring my horses out here if you have every minute of the rest of our lives planned out?"

This got a laugh from Claire before Katy scoffed and said, "Please. I ride every single day. Wedding-schmedding. Nothing stops me from riding."

Ev came around the corner on foot just in time to hear that and replied, "She is dead serious, too. Every day, no matter what, she's on a horse. So, fear not, my short female friend, you will do plenty of riding during your whirlwind stay."

Gesturing her beer in Katy's directions, she asked Ev, "Do you know what all she has planned for me?"

He grinned. "Yep."

"And are you subjecting your groomsmen to this kind of torture?"

Still, he grinned. "Nope."

Courtney nodded decisively. "Right, well, then I take back my agreement to be a bridesmaid. I wanna be a groomsmaid instead. You can pick one of the boys to stick in my gown. I'm sure it's beautiful. I mean, you have impeccable taste, but I am feeling fairly confident that I can pull off a tux suddenly."

At this, Ev roared with laughter before shaking his head and saying, "Nope. You threw me over and chose my woman. No take-backs. You have to wear the gown and do the shopping and grooming and cake eating and all that other girly shit."

Katherine and Claire both laughed out loud at the two of them. And at that moment, Courtney soaked it up. Her best friend had chosen the woman he was going to marry, although to be fair, it had always been Katy for Ev. But still, he had her, and Courtney didn't lose him. She didn't lose the anchor that she had held on to for so many years while she was cast at sea, being tossed here and there with waves of emotions and betrayals. Instead, she had gained another friend. Someone else to talk to, who understood her. And further, someone who refused to be threatened by the past. And there was a lot there that Katherine could have held against Courtney, but instead, she chose to let it go and embrace the other woman. There weren't very many women capable of such a feat, and it meant the world to Courtney that Katy had accepted her and brought her into her fold.

During the week and three days she spent with Claire, Katy, and Ev, they made sure to include her, and true to her word, the three women rode together every single day. More and more Claire opened up to Courtney, and she would see flickers of light from the very sad woman, and as she had over the winter, she found that she had a place with these people. In a situation she had never pictured belonging, they made her feel like she was an integral piece of the fold.

In that time, the only dark spot was the sudden silence from Cole. She had stopped texting him because his answers had all been short and to the point, and she flat out couldn't imagine calling him now, even though only two weeks ago they had been laughingly debating the merits of eating the stuffing first or dunking the cookie whole while on the phone. Now, he was as far away as he had been in those years he had been married. And suddenly, she wasn't feeling any comfort about the fact that she would be seeing him very shortly. Still, for her friends, she kept her head up and only dwelled on this once she was alone in her trailer with nothing and no one to distract her. When she was with any of the three who resided in the main house, she was all smiles and laughs, Cole and any thoughts of him shoved safely in a box to pick at and dwell over later.

Thursday, they got inebriated in a way that they felt it all day Friday, but it was the first time she had seen Claire cut loose and have fun with the shadows fully gone from her eyes for that night alone, and they lived it up. Sheriff called Ev to come and pick them up because they had left the bar, on foot, and walked over to the local twenty-four-hour Wal-Mart and proceeded to have the cops called on them when they refused to quit having a hula-hoop contest. It turns out that the employee wasn't very happy about being forced to hold all three of their beverages while they did their best to out-hula the others.

So, Friday, they did make sure everything was ready; only they didn’t start until about two p.m. rather than the initially planned eight a.m. Regardless, Katy was a planner, and everything was in place and ready to go. Friday night, they called it an early night and planned to get up and meet in the kitchen at five a.m. to get ready. Jo Ellen was coming to do their hair and makeup and get ready for the wedding with them.

When the knocking came at her door at an insanely early time, Courtney rolled off her bunk and expertly landed on her feet before trudging to the door. She threw it open and turned back to her small room to grab what Katy had deemed her 'go bag' saying, "Hang on. I'm grabbing my bag."

Katy didn't respond, so Courtney hurried assuming that bridezilla had kicked in and she hadn't waited around for Courtney to come. When she got back to the door, two things struck her at once. The first was that it was Cole standing at her door, looking beyond exhausted. And the second was that it was pitch black outside. Not the sun barely starting to rise, so the sky was lightening up. Nope, pitch black, the middle of the night. Courtney should still be sleep. What the fuck was Cole La Barron doing at her door in the dead of night?

"Uh, Cole? The heck?"

He stepped toward her, and she stepped back. He stepped up on the drop step and climbed into her trailer, still pushing her back, even though he hadn't touched her.

"Seriously, Cole. What the hell are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

He didn't speak as he reached behind him and slammed the door shut before walking over to her couch and sat, then he spoke.

"What the hell? I think that's my question, isn't it, Baby Girl?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What I'm talking about is, we were getting somewhere, and then you ghost me."

"I ghost you? Get the HELL out of my trailer. You have lost your mind. Twice. Twice, Cole, you have played this hot-and-cold bullshit on me. I’m waiting around for you to explain to me why you wrecked my life, what the deal is with your wife or ex-wife or whatever the fuck she is, and by the way, congrats on the bouncing baby, Daddy! I forgot to mention that before, my apologies!" He flinched when she said that. "Yeah, my brother had the pleasure of breaking that little tidbit to me after you took off with her without saying a single word to me. And I go out on a limb after ALL of that and think we are getting somewhere, building a friendship at the very least, and suddenly you stop responding to my messages normally, and now I only get a word or two. What am I supposed to do? Keep chasing after you? I refuse to make you let me into your life. That’s not me. I deserve someone who wants me to be in their life and will fight to keep me there, not this,"—she gestured at him with a flick of her hand—"bullshit. Whatever the hell it is."

"For fuck's sake, Court." Cole stood from her couch right as a timid knock came at her door. They both froze, then Courtney stalked across the trailer and yanked the door open to see a trembling Claire standing there.

"Hey, uh, Court. Devon and Clint came in, and Katy woke up when Ev did, so she sent me out here to get you guys because she's starting breakfast."

Smiling at Claire gently, even though she wanted to scream, she turned to Cole and said so sweetly that butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, "Cole, could you be a dear and grab my bag and bring it with us? Katy's up, so it's go-time."

He didn't say a word, just stood up and walked over to where she had dropped her bag, picking it up and bringing it to the door before following the two girls to the house. He was seething, and Courtney knew it, but he must have picked up on her demeanor with Claire because he went along with her as docilely as he could.

When they walked into the house, she grabbed the bag from him and muttered, "Thanks."

He didn't let go of it and instead growled low so only she could hear, "We're talking this shit out after, right?"

She rolled her eyes. "I told you months ago that we would, and I meant it then, just like I mean it now. We will talk, but first, I have friends who need to get married. It's way overdue for them."

She could see the way his face softened when she said that, and she knew down to her bones that he was thinking the same thing as her. If things had been different, they would have been married a long time ago as well. She tore her gaze from his and tugged on the bag once more, and this time he let it go. She felt his eyes on her as she strutted into the kitchen and announced, "Alright, y'all, the party is here!"

He couldn't help but smile at her antics. That was pure Courtney.

***

THEIR DAY WAS A WHIRLWIND of activity with lace and bow ties.

It was beautiful at the same time it was oh-so painful. Being there with Cole, standing on opposite sides of the couple reciting their vowels, it burned deep in her chest, and for the first time, she was seriously doubting the merits of meeting him to have that talk later. This was everything she had ever wanted, only not. She feared that she was going to lose her tenuous grip on her emotions before the wedding was over, but thankfully, they kissed and suddenly they were Mr. and Mrs. Sean Everett. The warring emotions inside of Courtney were mindboggling.

She was desperately happy for her friends, but on the other hand, her heart was being torn from her chest. It was when the first strains of the song "You Should Be Here" that Courtney realized that she was going to have to dance with Cole. Days before, when they had talked about this, she had assured Katy that it would be ok, but now faced with it, she was terrified. She looked up and saw her brother take Claire's hand and lead her onto the dance floor. She watched as he tucked her to his chest and she nestled in, then her big, dopey brother did something that shocked her to her core. He wrapped Claire tight in his arms and rested his lips against the crown of her head. The couple swayed, lost in their own world, and it was the first time that she had seen Claire at peace. Not drunk, not void, just there, in the moment and at peace. Her brother had done that for the beautiful, broken woman who Courtney was coming to call a friend.

Cole took her into his arms before she had a chance to object and led her onto the dance floor. "It's not what you think, Baby Girl. I swear. I would never hurt you intentionally, and I just keep fucking this up, but I swear to you that you will see how fucked up this whole situation is and how it happened once we talk. Just, can I hold you while we dance? We can go back to your trailer as soon as this is over and talk everything out, and if you want me to leave after, I'll go. Ok?"

Unable to talk, Courtney nodded in agreement. He pulled her tighter to him as if he were afraid that loosening his grip would allow her to disappear. She had so many emotions roiling through her body that she couldn't grip one long enough to analyze it. When the song drew to an end, she pulled away telling him, "We've gotta go to the middle of the dance floor for the bouquet and garter toss. We'll talk after."

He watched her closely for a moment, and deciding that she wasn't lying, he nodded and kissed her forehead. He pulled away from her just as the DJ requested all single ladies to one side and single gentlemen to the other. She participated in the tradition for her friends, but that bouquet could land in her hands, and she was going to hot-potato that sucker at someone else. She was lost in thought when Sheriff commented loudly and for the event, inappropriately, saying, "Oh shee-it!" And then she couldn’t hold back the laugh when his wife whacked him in the chest and shushed him, then she laughed a little harder when she saw her brother holding the dainty lace garter and staring at Claire in shock, who was holding Courtney's huge bouquet.

She went through the rest of the ceremony smiling because honestly, if there was someone who was perfect for Claire and her broken angel wings, it was her big dumb lug of a brother.