Breathe.

In.

Out.

Don't think. Don't look back. Don't be afraid that he's following you. Take heart that you've got away.

That you are free of him at last.

My body is tormented with shivers, and my tummy clenches when I think back on how things went in court today. I clasp my fingers together, twisting and turning them in my lap until the pain makes me gasp.

“You okay, babe?” Trish’s concerned voice pulls me out of the fog my brain’s been in the last couple of months.

I swallow the lump in my throat and try to smile at the part of her face I can see in the rear-view mirror.

“I’ll be okay,” I croak.

I haven’t spoken freely for so long. The unfamiliar tone of my voice surprises me, and I wonder for how long I’ve sounded so dull and lifeless. Now that I’m starting to see things more clearly, I know that’s not how I used to be.

Her blue eyes soften at my vague answer, but just as I fear that she’s about to ask me more questions, her gaze shifts from mine and turns back to the road in front of her. I slump in my seat and close my eyes.

The truth is that I’m the furthest from okay that a person could possibly be—especially after just having been acquitted from cold-blooded murder.

“Mummy?”

I look to my left, at the most precious thing in the whole world sitting next to me—my daughter, Ailith.

“Yes, sweetie?” My smile is forced, crooked. I know she doesn't believe it.

“Will he...will he come after us?”

My heart breaks at the trembling fear I can hear in her voice.

Shaking my head, I reach for her hand and glance at the road in front of us. My hand trembles badly, but the touch of her skin on mine is like a balm to my wounded soul, and I take courage from it.

Thank God it's summer and the road is clear. At least we don't have to worry about a storm.

“No. He won't come after us, I promise,” I whisper. “He won't hurt us ever again.”

Silence.

“I hate him,” she whispers then.

I want to break down and cry.

She’s too young to know what hate is.

I keep telling myself that Ailith doesn't really understand what's happening, or why Trish is driving us. I told her that we're going on an adventure, that we're visiting her Nan, and while that part is true, I didn't tell her that the duration of our visit will be permanent.

But I should've known better. My daughter is only six years old, but she's smart, perceptive. I wish she could've kept the innocence of childhood for longer; that I could've shielded the cruelty happening in our own home from her.

I've failed in so many ways as a mother in the past, but no more.

“I hate him, too,” I whisper before I clear my throat, trying to get my emotions under control. “I swear to you that I won't let anything happen to you,” I vow. I chance another quick glance at her, squeezing her hand in mine. The tears on her freckled cheeks break my heart.

“From now on, it's just you and me, Ailith Margaret.” I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss it. “I promise.”

“It's just you, me, and Nan Wenn,” she replies, and my smile is more genuine this time.

“And me,” Trish pipes up, making the thickness in my throat return in full force. I blink rapidly, trying to stop the relieved sob from escaping my lips.

I’ve had a lot of practice in keeping my true emotions bottled up inside, though, and I manage to get myself under control.

Nodding slowly, I look back at Ailith.

“Yes. It's just the four of us from now on. Please try to sleep. We still have another two hours left before we'll be at Nan's.”

“Okay, Mummy.”

A couple of minutes later, I hear faint snoring falling from her mouth, and I breathe deeply again. A strange mixture of relief and fear overtakes me from the enormity of what I've escaped today.

Relief that we're finally free.

Fear of what'll happen now.

But I won't let the fear win this time.

I refuse to be weak anymore.

The future is an unknown entity at the moment, but one thing I do know for certain—that I won't ever let fear rule my life ever again.

Our life.

“Mum,” I whisper into the darkness of the night. “We're coming home now.”