Chapter 17
She thought about leaving when she first stepped into the motel room. Tempting, but she didn’t want whatever was between her and Chatan to end without a word.
He was right. There was something powerful growing between them. And yes, that scared the hell out of her. But if she was ever going to be with anyone, she wanted it to be someone she felt comfortable with.
And most of the time, he was it. And her discomfort had everything to do with her own doubts and hang-ups.
Jacinda considered walking over there and apologizing.
Too early. She didn’t want to be stuck there if the apology didn’t go as well as she wanted. The thought of spending the rest of the time in Wanatoga avoiding Chatan unnerved her. She craved more time with him.
But then he kept throwing the word love around and making it sound like they’d wind up together forever. And maybe they were meant to be together, but it was so fast, and she didn’t know where things would go.
The doorbell rang and she pushed herself to a stand and marched to the door. She wasn’t sure what to say to him, but maybe he realized he had pushed too hard.
She threw the door open and he stood there with a sad smile and a bunch of lavender roses.
Her mouth fell open. She’d never seen that color on roses. Their scent wrapped around her. “Were these from your garden?”
“Yeah.” He looked through his lashes at her.
Jacinda melted. “Come in.” She hurried to her room and grabbed a mug out of her box. She morphed it into a vase and hurried back to the kitchenette to fill it.
He took the ceramic from her and set it on the table, placing the flowers in it. “I’m sorry. I’m a fool around you. I can’t help it. You’re what I want, Jacinda. And if waiting until I think you’re ready isn’t right, then I’ll change tactics. But you have to tell me if I go too far for you.”
“What?” she whispered, staring into the intensity of his gaze.
“Just tell me you feel something stronger than friendship for me. It doesn’t have to be love, doesn’t have to be forever, but give me something.”
“I do feel strongly for you. I can’t put it into words. That scares the hell out of me.”
“What do you want from me?” he asked, his tone low as he closed the distance. “Do you want everything? Or just to feel how much I need you?”
Jacinda gulped. “What do you mean?”
“How much proof do you need I want a whole lot more than a kiss from you? How far do you want this to go, right here, right now?”
She looked up at the ceiling and sighed. “Just tell me why you keep stopping.”
“I thought you might not be ready. But you’re an adult, you can make that decision for yourself. So, you tell me. Are you ready for me? All of me?”
“You’re still making this sound like it’s forever.”
“Could be. I’m not saying it is. I’m saying it could turn into that. Is that so bad, Jacinda? Does the thought of being with me every day really seem so horrible?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Then what’s the harm in seeing where this goes?”
A million thoughts hit her at once, but one voice stood out. Her mother’s, telling her love was the most important thing. And if she didn’t open up, how was she supposed to find it?
“No harm.” Not in the moment. Later, well, she’d deal with that when she got there. Jacinda let her eyes travel down, until she got to the straining bulge in his pants. Yeah, she affected him the same way he affected her. Why hadn’t she noticed that before? Maybe she wouldn’t have doubted everything so damned much.
“I want more than a kiss.” Jacinda met his gaze and reached up to wrap her hand around Chatan’s neck. “Please.”
“If you get uncomfortable, tell me to stop. I never want to frighten you, Jace.”
She kissed him, needing to feel something more than longing. He pulled her tight, one hand on her lower back, sealing her against his body.
“I want to touch you, all of you,” he murmured, reaching for the hem of her dress.
“Only if I get to do the same to you,” she answered, pulling his shirt up, over his head.
Her dress followed as his hands glided over her skin. The calluses teased her senses. He trailed his hands over her stomach, her sides, her ribs, her back. She held his head to hers with one hand, deepening the kiss as she explored the dips and flat planes of his muscles with the other.
He made the sexiest growling sound at the back of his throat as he brought his hands around her front, up to cup her breasts over the bikini top. Letting him go, she got rid of that in a hurry, needing to feel him on her.
He picked her up and carried her to the couch, where he laid her down. His stare seared her. Chatan bent to capture one tight peak between his lips as he ran his tongue in circles around her nipple.
The wet heat radiated through her in throbbing pleasure. He stoked the fire deep inside with his attention. He teased the other nipple with his thumb and forefinger, making the ache between her legs that much stronger.
Jacinda slipped her hand between them and worked his pants open so she could delve inside. She found his hard length and gasped when she realized just how big he was. Not that she had anything to compare him with, but he was certainly bigger than she anticipated.
She stroked him slow but firm, hoping she was doing it right.
His eyes flickered with energy as he looked up and caught her attention. “Keep that up, and we may go past the point of no return.”
“Don’t want to return. Don’t want to stop. Please don’t stop.” No, she needed more from him.
He kissed down her ribs, moving out of reach of her hand as he pulled her bottoms down her thighs and slipped them off. Then he pushed her legs further open. Her eyes closed as he took a long lick at her core. His hair brushed her thighs as he explored with his tongue.
Her eyes flew open to find his still sparking with energy as he looked up her body while teasing her with slow strokes. Then his tongue dipped into her and she gripped the cushions, her head falling back as sensation rocked through her. Good, strange, but so damned perfect.
“So good,” she whimpered.
“Need you to come before I try to do more. You’re so tight, I don’t want to hurt you more than I have to.” He licked at her again, then sucked the tiny bundle of nerves. He took his time and she melted, then exploded in white hot pleasure.
There was pressure, then stretching, and she got her eyes open to find him pressing a finger into her. “This okay?” he whispered.
She nodded, knowing what was coming. The thumb of his other hand started slow circles over her clit and she gasped in pleasure as he slipped deeper.
“So wet, Jace. You’re almost ready. You sure you want this?”
There was something in his voice. A warning maybe. And she couldn’t think past the desire burning deeper, pulling her toward him. She needed the connection, the intimacy. She needed him.
“Ready.”
“Hope so.” He pushed another finger in and bent to flick his tongue over her clit. She came apart again and he pushed deeper, past the point of resistance. The brief pain washed away with the overwhelming pleasure. She felt as if she were floating.
“Chatan, please,” she whimpered, not sure what she was asking for anymore, just knowing he’d give it.
He moved back up her body. His mouth collided with hers, his tongue sweeping through her mouth, her taste on his lips. Then he pressed into her and she was reminded how big he seemed.
“Relax,” he whispered. “I’m going slow. Don’t want to hurt you again.”
She nodded, her eyes latching onto his. Magic danced in the depths. She felt his soul flowing around her, his essence caressing hers as he filled her body.
“Doesn’t hurt,” she answered. She slid her hand up his back, pulling his torso to hers as her legs wrapped around his hips, urging his further.
“Slow, Jace. Not fast, not yet.”
He slipped past the last bit of resistance and seated himself as deep as he could go. She gasped at the fullness she’d never experienced. Her body gripped his length and he groaned low in his throat.
“Hang on, give me a second.”
She caressed his face, running her thumb across his cheek. “I want this.”
“I feel it,” he answered. “Going to be hard to resist you after this,” he added.
“Couldn’t resist you before. Nothing’s changing now.”
“Oh, it is.”
And she didn’t care. “Please, do something.”
He chuckled, pulling nearly out of her before sliding back in, stealing her breath. Only a hint of pain, the rest pleasure. She wanted more.
His hand dipped the cushion by her side. His other tangled in her hair as he locked gazes and moved faster. The heat built. He delved into her, his soul, his essence. A part of him took root inside her. His emotions bled into her own. He knew she was it, and she couldn’t deny the conviction in his soul.
“Jace,” he cried, as he fell into release, pulling her with him.
Pleasure washed over her with his, drowning out the fear, the need to run. She wrapped her arms around him as he collapsed on top of her, burying his face against her neck as he held on.
Something had changed, something profound, and she couldn’t put a finger on what.
* * * *
The bond sealed them together. Chatan felt her all the way through his soul. She felt as strongly as he did. He knew it the moment they came together.
And even if she left, he could follow now. And he had no intention to tell her that.
Was it shady? Fuck yes, but he didn’t give a damn, because he had a sneaking suspicion that sooner or later, something would happen, and she’d bail without a word. And all for something she truly feared.
He just hoped whatever it was, he could help her get over, get past, protect her from it. Whatever she needed, he’d do his best to provide. Even if she thought she didn’t need it.
Jacinda trailed her fingers over his back, her eyes closed, a smile on her lips. He leaned up and kissed her once more. This time slow, delighting in her happy sigh.
He slid his hand down her body to cup her sex and pushed healing magic into her. He didn’t want her hurting, especially if she wanted more later.
“Chatan, what are you doing?” she asked, surprise in her gorgeous green eyes.
“Making sure you aren’t sore later.”
Her eyes closed, then she jumped slightly. “Are we late for dinner?”
He shook his head. “No, we have time. He sat up and pulled her upright, letting her legs circle him still. Let me clean you up, then we should head over.”
“Why?” she asked softly, a blush on her cheeks.
He glanced between her legs. “Making love is messy. Especially the first time. Besides, I want to hold you some more before we head back.”
She looked down and shrugged. Light danced through her eyes. “I like the sound of that.”