Holding out hope…
After breakfast and a rousing workout with Samuel and Sky, Dario was on his way to the base for his first session with the docs and Jaeger. Sleep had been elusive the night before, with fevered, erotic dreams of both the dragon and Gator—culminating in another of his nightmares.
That hadn’t boded well, considering what he was on his way to do.
Yet, he tried to feel confident he could help, in some way. He had to—anything less would be a disaster he couldn’t face.
Focusing on the job at hand, he listened to his iPod as he walked the long gravel road from the farmhouse to the base. Over the summer, the high wheat had obscured the view of the hidden base, but now that winter approached, the fields were empty.
He ignored the high fence surrounding the base, or the huge structure growing larger with every step. It looked almost like a prison from the outside, and ultimately, that was what it was, to a point.
The bears had purchased a huge plot of land from Samuel months before to build their fortress—just far enough from Bear Mountain not to be under its magical shield of protection, yet close enough to get into the valley quickly.
“Mornin’.”
Dario looked up at the gatehouse. Gator was on duty. He pulled his earbuds out and smiled. “Morning.”
“You excited about tonight?”
Shit, is it Friday already? “Oh… yeah. Of course.”
Gator’s smile faded a little. “You still want to go, right?”
“Absolutely.” Dario was more than ready for date two, especially considering how well the last had gone.
Gator leaned against the gate house. “What brings you here today?”
Dario wasn’t sure how much to share. Not that he didn’t think Gator was trustworthy. But Jaeger had been touchy after Dario had seen the damage done to his back. “Deacon has me working on a project.”
“Top secret stuff, hmm?”
Dario grinned. “Something like that.”
“Well, you get in there and get busy so you and I can have fun tonight.” Gator lifted the arm of the gate and ushered Dario in.
After Dario crossed over and walked ahead, he could feel the heat of Gator’s stare on his back. A smile crossed his face. He glanced back over his shoulder and saw that—indeed—Gator was staring. He turned back, his smile growing wider.
For the first time in his life, he felt giddy over a man. Suddenly, he understood those giggling girls in high school, cooing over one of the jocks.
By the time he made it inside the base’s medical unit that giddiness had fled. True fear hit him, as well as the realization that he was so far over his head that he would likely drown.
“There’s our heater,” Finn, one of the base’s doctors, said.
Instead of Finn’s brother bear, Killian, Dario saw it was one of the other Bear Mountain doctors—Logan.
“Where’s your better half?” Dario asked as he lowered his backpack onto one of the stools and tossed his iPod inside.
“Better third? We pair run in packs of three, ya know?” Finn said with a grin. “Logan here has a little more experience with burn victims, so I asked him to join us. Killian’s covering his shift at the clinic in town.”
“Awesome,” Dario said.
Logan walked over and offered a hand. “I don’t think we’ve ever really been introduced. I’ve seen you in the clinic a few times.”
Dario shook the bear’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“You, as well,” Logan said. He pulled back his hand. “I see why you’re called the heater.”
Dario winced. “Sorry.”
Logan grinned. “Nothing to be sorry about.”
“Okay,” Finn said. “If you two are ready, perhaps we can get a plan of action going before our dragon arrives.” He turned to a large monitor where he pulled up a photo of Jaeger’s back.
Dario walked closer, frowning at the image. He’d seen it up close and personal, but it was still a shock to see it.
“I think we should start at the top and move down,” Logan said. “Break the areas up into four quadrants, maybe more depending on how much pain he can handle. We’ll see how tolerant he is to the pain with this session. But I don’t want him pushed so far that his dragon lashes out.”
“Is that possible?” Dario asked, fear hitting him.
“Likely not to you, even though you’d be the source of the pain. His dragon isn’t going to hurt a mate, no matter what,” Finn said.
Heat crept into Dario’s face. Did everyone know about Jaeger’s little display?
“But the dragon part of him might hurt one of us in an attempt to get you to stop,” Logan said. “That’s when we halt everything and let him have a day or so to heal.”
“So this is going to take a couple of weeks?” Dario asked.
“If not a little more,” Finn said. “We might have to go back and remove more.”
“If we can thin the metal enough that his dragon can break through and he can shift—he’ll heal himself. So that’s the plan. Heat off the top layers of a particular area. You pause when you see the metal bubble and we’ll come in and remove that layer. We keep moving down until we’re close to his skin,” Logan said.
“How do we know we’re close?” Dario asked.
“The screams will be louder, I suspect,” Logan said.
Dario winced. His stomach turned a little. He was seconds from saying he was out—when Jaeger showed up. He eyed the man, wondering why anyone would show up to be tortured. Dario felt half sick knowing it would be by his hand.
Or hands, rather. He glanced down at both of them, willing the pair to listen.
“Morning,” Jaeger murmured, his gaze settled on Dario.
The heat of that stare was evident. Dario felt his own temperature rise. Need assaulted him, his body more than ready to do whatever it was Jaeger wanted.
But that wasn’t happening today.
And he couldn’t let the lust he felt change his focus.
“Jaeger, if you want to pull off your shirt and lay on top of the surgical table, face down?” Finn asked as he went over to the sink to scrub his hands.
Logan joined him, and the pair got cleaned up and into surgical gowns.
“Should I clean up and get covered, too?” Dario asked.
“You won’t actually be touching him—but it couldn’t hurt to wash up a little, I suppose,” Logan said. “Although he’s not susceptible to human diseases.”
“So why did you guys wash up?” Dario took off his watch and stored it inside his backpack.
“Habit,” Logan said. “We also treat human mates in the clinic.”
“Oh, yeah,” Dario said as he walked over to the sink. He scrubbed his hands for a couple of minutes, parroting the actions of the doctors.
Logan walked over as he was drying off and handed him a surgical gown. “Plus giving you something to do will keep you from thinking too hard about what’s to come.”
“Why do I need this?”
“If you go too deep, there might be a little blood,” Logan said.
“Great,” Dario murmured as he took the gown from the doctor’s hands.
He got into the gown and watched as the doctors set up tools on a small metal cart. Above them, a light blazed on, illuminating just how bad Jaeger’s back was.
Sweat began to bead Dario’s forehead as he stared at the mess of metal.
“You’re going to do fine,” Jaeger said from the table.
Dario walked closer to the man. “You realize I don’t want to hurt you, right?”
“I do.”
“And… you’re not going to claw me if I do, right?” He knew what Finn had said, but if there was a chance he’d get sliced up, he was most definitely out.
Jaeger looked up, his eyes brightly shining. “I told you I’d never harm you, and I meant it.”
Dario held that stare and sensed the dragon was being completely honest.
“No matter what you hear from me—I want you to keep going until it’s done,” Jaeger told Dario.
“We’re doing this in stages, Jaeger,” Logan interrupted.
“Stages? Why not get it all done today?” Jaeger demanded.
“You won’t be able to handle that kind of pain,” Finn said. “We’re doing a section at a time and giving you a few days to heal between.”
“Extend the torment. Great,” Jaeger muttered.
Dario hated the thought of putting the man through that kind of pain. And what if he lacked the control needed for this? What if he burned Jaeger alive?
He was suddenly back in that alley. Two corpses… the scent of burning flesh… the screams of pain…
His breathing grew harder. Panic set in.
Why did I agree to do this?
“Are you ready?” Killian asked him.
“Not even close,” Dario muttered, his stomach twisting into knots. He backed up a step, his fight or flight instinct leaning heavily toward the latter.
A hand reached out and took one of his.
Dario looked down at where Jaeger held on to him. Suddenly, he could breathe again. The panic abated a little. Meeting the dragon’s stare, he felt their bond cemented between them. Electric sparks flew up his arm. His whole body throbbed with an intense need for Jaeger.
To be closer.
To be one.
A tide washed through him, as if a little bit of Jaeger’s strength flowed within him. Perhaps it did. He knew dragons had a bit of magic inside them. “It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m going to be okay. You’re helping to heal me, not harm me,” Jaeger said.
Dario nodded, getting a bit of control over himself.
Jaeger let go, and Dario immediately missed the feeling of his touch.
Dario reached out and took Jaeger’s hand, knowing it was the only way he was getting through this. Jaeger lifted his stare, a bit of shock in his gaze.
“Hold on to me, okay?”
Jaeger’s lips almost twitched into a smile. He nodded and grabbed Dario by the waist before dragging him close. “You can work at that angle?”
“Actually, it just might be perfect,” Dario said, lifting both hands above the top right corner of Jaeger’s back. The reflection from the overhead light on the metal almost made it look fake.
Soon enough, it would be gone.
Dario smiled slightly. “Ready?” he asked Finn and Logan.
Both men nodded, smiling as well.
* * * *
The scream deep down inside…
Several hours in, Jaeger wasn’t sure how much he had left.
He’d willed himself not to scream and failed as the first hour was almost closed.
He’d willed himself not to look weak before his mate and failed just after the second hour had passed, when he’d begged for a moment’s break.
He’d willed himself not to cry and failed at the beginning of the fourth hour.
Jaeger only knew the time because the doctors marked the passage verbally. Not that he paid much attention to what they were saying at this point, between the panting and screaming. His dragon roared within, the screams mixing with some of the sound of his animal.
Sweat coated his shaking body. The heat of Dario’s hands cooked him, quite literally. His skin was blistered and ripping under the heat. The doctors were doing everything they could to prevent the burns, but the heat was unrelenting. He could feel his organs failing and healing—failing and healing—over and over again.
The metal in his back only acted as a conduit, a means to radiate the heat even deeper into his body. Breathing was becoming more and more difficult.
“I think that’s enough for today,” a loud voice said. He wasn’t even sure whose it had been. His ears didn’t seem to be working all that well.
Jaeger could almost cry from the news, knowing his torture was over.
For now.
He had at least three more of these to face, from what they’d said.
The dizzying heat relented. His body immediately set about to heal itself.
Jaeger couldn’t move. He was in utter agony.
I’ll be free soon. That is worth this pain.
He’d long ago lost his grip on Dario. His muscles had lost their strength, and his arm had fallen limply to the side.
What he must think of me now.
Jaeger felt a warm hand pushing back the damp hair at his forehead.
“It’s over now. You can rest and heal up,” Dario’s voice said.
Jaeger couldn’t see anything. The intense heat had burned out his eyes long ago. Soon, they would heal.
But now, he was a useless blob of flesh and bone.
The vulnerability of his situation hit him. He didn’t like it one bit.
“Are you okay? You still with me?” Dario asked in his quiet voice.
Or maybe it was because his ears were damaged, too. He had no strength to tell his human that he’d be fine.
“Jaeger?” Dario asked, a bit more concern in his voice.
“He might need a few moments to heal,” a voice said, perhaps Logan’s. “We’ll move him to a bed in the clinic in a few minutes and let him rest up. He’ll be in good shape come morning.”
Jaeger felt himself moving in and out of consciousness. At some point, he was lifted by strong hands and moved. Again, he was moved, this time to a softer bed. He could hear the faint beeps of a monitor close by.
At some point, he opened his eyes and was able to see somewhat. Everything was blurry, but there were shapes and colors. He closed them again, the darkness taking him.
Through it all, he could feel Dario close.
It was the one thing keeping him going.
* * * *
Lead him safely through the night…
Dario hung in the darkened corner of Jaeger’s room, watching the slow rise and fall of the man’s breathing. The screams still rang in his ears. The smell of Jaeger’s burning flesh still filled his nose. Memories collided inside his mind, hints of the past he couldn’t shake off mixed with what he’d just done to Jaeger.
All that time fearing he’d hurt someone else, and now he had.
Inside, he knew Jaeger needed this. Dario had clung to the words the dragon had murmured just before the screaming began.
I’ll be okay.
You’re helping to heal me, not harm me.
Yet he still couldn’t shake the sounds of those screams.
Midway through the process, Jaeger had begged them to stop for a moment. The pleading of Jaeger’s tone had pushed him over the edge. He’d stumbled over to a waste basket and lost his breakfast. Somehow, he’d soldiered on, telling himself over and over and over again that this was what Jaeger had wanted.
That he’d eventually be able to shift again.
When they’d stopped and Jaeger hadn’t been able to answer him, he’d almost lost it again. Had it not been for Logan’s reassurances that Jaeger would pull through, he wasn’t sure what would’ve happened.
For hours now, he’d sat in Jaeger’s room, transfixed by that steady breathing.
Exhaustion overtook him at some point and the tears came.
He was so tired, he wasn’t sure exactly what he was crying about, but the whirlwind of emotions was just too much. Dario couldn’t contain it all and stuff it down deep like he usually did.
Tears streaked down his face.
“Why are you crying?”
Dario turned to look at the bed and saw Jaeger’s glowing stare pinned on him. He quickly wiped the wetness from his face. “I don’t know. I’m just tired.”
“Come here,” Jaeger whispered.
Dario rose and crossed the small space between his seat and the bed.
Jaeger inched over in the oversized hospital bed with a groan or two. He patted the few inches left over.
Dario stared for a moment, shocked by the man’s offer.
And even more shocked that he wanted to slide in and hold on.
Ignoring all the reasons he shouldn’t, he climbed in, turning onto his side and doing his best not to jostle around too much and hurt the man even more. He’d done that enough.
They lay there, silently, staring at one another in the low light of the room.
“Thank you. I know it couldn’t have been easy what you did today,” Jaeger said.
Dario opened his mouth to answer, but only began crying again, the sobs wracking his body. Jaeger pulled him a little closer, spreading a hand down Dario’s back and soothing him.
Dario let it all go, until he had nothing left. He took a deep breath—and suddenly felt… lighter.
“Better now?” Jaeger asked, his voice low.
“Yeah,” Dario said, wiping away some of the wetness. “How shitty of me. You’re the one hurt, and I’m being a drama queen, demanding attention.”
“Why were you crying?”
Dario was just too tired to lie. “I burned two men alive a few months ago. It was terrible, and I’ve been torn up about it ever since. Their screams… the scent of their burning flesh… it was vile. Today brought those memories back to me.”
“Are these the men who hurt you?”
Dario turned, stunned—but then remembered Samuel had given the man some hints. He nodded. “Yeah. They’d hurt me.”
A growl rose up from Jaeger. “What did they do?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. They’re gone.”
“What did they do?”
Dario sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “They cornered me in an alley. Forced me up against a brick wall and tried to rape me.”
Jaeger cursed under his breath. “Good thing they’re dead.” Jaeger paused. “You have no reason to mourn their killings. They had it coming.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t like that I was judge, jury, and executioner.”
“You did what needed to be done. Would you have preferred the alternative?”
Dario paused. He’d never stopped to think what if. What if he hadn’t hurt them? Would he be the one dead now?
He’d never have had a chance at this new life, in this new world.
He’d never have had a chance to meet Jaeger… or Gator.
Shit! Gator!
“Had I known, I wouldn’t have let you do this today,” Jaeger whispered.
Dario struggled to climb from the bed.
“Did I say something wrong?” Jaeger asked.
“No. I just forgot there’s somewhere I was supposed to be.” He raced for his backpack and pulled out his watch. Eighty-thirty. Fuck! “I gotta go,” he murmured before moving to the side of the bed. “I’m so sorry… I’ll come see you tomorrow, okay?”
There was no missing the disappointment on Jaeger’s face, and it tore at Dario. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”
Dario raced out of the room and collided with a solid mass of muscle. He nearly fell, but a pair of strong hands righted him.
A pair of strong hands attached to a fine smelling man. He looked up.
Gator.
“I was startin’ to get worried about you.” Gator said, frowning. “You okay?”
“Yes. No. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to miss our date. I just realized the time and was racing out to find you and apologize.”
“It’s okay,” Gator said, his voice like smooth honey. “But you don’t look okay.”
The man lifted a hand and cupped the side of his face. “You don’t look okay at all.”
“The… project. It took a lot out of me. More so than I realized it would.”
Gator frowned. “What did Deacon have you doing to get you all twisted up like this?”
“He was helping me,” a voice said behind Dario.
Dario turned to see a shirtless Jaeger standing in the doorway. “You shouldn’t be out of bed.”
“I heard voices,” Jaeger said. “Thought I’d peek to see who it was out here.”
When Dario turned back, he saw a look cross Gator’s face.
“It’s not what it might look like,” Dario said.
“You sure about that?” Gator asked, a hint of jealousy in his voice.
“No. Deacon asked me to help Jaeger.”
“With what?” the Cajun asked.
Dario turned to Jaeger, seeking some help. Jaeger remained silent a moment, his chin lifting. Finally, he sighed, turning around and showing Gator his back.
Gator’s face twisted. “What is that?”
“Zed,” Jaeger said. “It’s how they captured me. Dario helped the doctors melt some of it off me today.”
Gator seemed to stiffen upon the word Zed. Dario turned to look at the man. A numbness washed over his face.
“Sorry to hear about it,” Gator said, turning to look away.
Jaeger turned back around and looked between them. “Don’t be mad that he missed your date. I think he was worried about me and stayed to make sure I was okay.”
“Ah,” Gator said, his stare going anywhere but at Jaeger.
“You should get back to bed. The doctors said you needed rest,” Dario said. He noticed then that Jaeger wobbled a bit on his feet. Dario rushed closer and took one of the man’s arms. “Here. Let’s get you back.”
“I don’t need a nursemaid.”
“Tough. You’re getting one,” Dario spat back.
Dario helped Jaeger back onto the bed and after a terse goodbye, returned to the hallway to find Gator.
The hall was empty. He dragged his backpack higher onto his arm and raced down the hallway—just in time to see Gator turn a corner.
“Gator!” he cried after making the same corner and seeing Gator stalking away.
The man stopped and turned toward Dario, his face a blank mask.
Dario closed the gap and stopped a few inches from Gator. “Why’d you leave?”
“You had your hands full.”
“What about our date?”
“It’s a bit late tonight. The restaurant closes at nine.”
Dario sensed something was definitely wrong. “I’m very sorry I missed our date. I was looking forward to tonight.”
“So was I,” Gator mumbled.
Dario took a half step closer. “Can you give me a chance to make this right?”
Gator met his stare.
“I’m free tomorrow night,” Dario added.
“Are you sure it’s me you really want?”
Dario was taken aback by the question. “What do you mean?”
“I heard the dragon laid his claim… and the way you were worryin’ over him… and the fact you forgot about our date… it makes me wonder if it’s just not meant to be.”
Dario frowned. “Gator… I really like you. I had so much fun on our last date, and I want to know you better.”
“You say that and somehow don’t deny what I just said.”
Dario sighed. “Yes. He seems to think I’m his mate. Yes. I helped him today, after being asked to do it by Deacon. Yes. I was worried about him—but you didn’t see or hear him while I was melting that metal off him. I was killing him, Dario. I felt terrible… so I stayed to make sure he survived it. That doesn’t mean I am beholden to him in any way.”
Gator’s expression softened some. “I can’t compete with a dragon.”
“There’s no competition. I like you. I have for some time. And you’ve taught me that persistence gets the job done. If you tell me no, I’ll just ask you out again tomorrow.”
Gator smiled. “Yeah, you think it’ll work?”
“Hope so.”
Gator sighed. “Tomorrow night, hmm?”
Dario nodded.
“You’re sure you’re free?”
“The doctors said he needed a few days to heal between, so they won’t need me back here until then.”
Gator frowned. “You’re coming back?”
“You saw all that was left.”
Gator’s face became the mask again. “Yeah. I did.”
“What is it?” Dario asked. Something was up, but he wasn’t sure what it was.
“Tomorrow night. Same time?”
Dario frowned. It was apparent Gator didn’t want to share. Maybe he could ferret out the information on their date. “Yeah. Same time.”
Gator leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the lips before heading off down the hall. Dario watched for a moment before he headed toward the exit. He needed a shower and as much sleep as he could get.