CHAPTER SEVEN
Georgina
"Georgie?"
My blood ran cold at the sound of that voice. I knew it all too well. I was suddenly consumed by the urge to run screaming for the hills.
"Matt?" My hand shook as I placed my hands on my lap. "I told you not to come near me again. Were you following me?"
I could feel Atkins's questioning stare beside me but I had no time for him right now. I clenched my fists, fighting for composure.
"No, I wasn't. I'm here with my officemates. I was just going to get a drink when I saw you here."
"I see. Well, have a good evening, Matt." I stood up from my seat and was about to walk away when his hand clamped my forearm to stop me.
"Georgie, wait."
I glared at him and said, "Let go of me, Matt."
"Just please listen to me for a minute, okay?" His eyes were pleading but it didn't have the same effect to me as back then.
"Let go, Matt," I repeated. I shook my arm from his grip rather harshly.
"The lady doesn't want to talk to you, man. So I strongly suggest you leave her alone." There was an underlying threat in Atkins's voice. The air was filled with a tangible tension all of sudden. They were glaring at each other like two alpha lions. They stood toe to toe, staring down the other man.
"Is this your new boyfriend, Georgie?" Matt asked, his eyes not leaving Atkins. "Looks like a scum to me," Matt spat.
Atkins reared back his head and his forehead slammed into Matt's nose with a sickening crunch. Blood splattered down Matt's chin. He cradled his broken nose for a moment and when the initial shock wore off he swung his fist back and hit Atkins square in the jaw. Atkins tackled Matt to the ground. The people gathered around us, most of them were gasping in surprise while a few others were egging them on.
Matt and Atkins were writhing and grunting on the floor. Atkins caught Matt in a headlock and Matt was desperately clawing at Atkins's arms to break free. Atkins's jaw was swollen and his nose bleeding. Matt's blood was staining his immaculate suit, his face red from choking.
Four men broke through the crush of people around us. One of them had a shaved head and a huge bulk— the bouncer. The other three were Zang, Clyde and Lukas. The bouncer pried them apart. Zang and Lukas held back Atkins, while the bouncer and Clyde tightly held Matt.
"We're not done here, you little piece of shit!" cried Matt as he tried to break free from the bouncer's grip. "Let go of me!" he said to the bouncer.
Three men in equally expensive business suits hovered at the edge of the crow. They were Matt's friends and they eyed him warily.
"Both of you, stop it now!" I screamed through the noise of the club and of the people milling around. "Matt, please just go away."
Matt shook his head. "We're not done yet, Georgie." Without a word Matt turned his back and walked away, the bouncer and his friends following closely behind him.
Mariz came up to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "Hey, are you alright?"
I shook my head in response.
Atkins touched his tender jaw. I heard Zang ask him, "Dude, what the hell happened?" Atkins didn't answer.
Girls find it hot when two guys brawl over them, but I don't. It was such a tacky way to deal with things. And Atkins didn't have to do it for me. I didn't ask him.
He sat on the bar stool and grabbed a few pieces of paper napkin to dab at the blood running down his nose.
"What the hell was that for?" I lashed out at him.
He looked at me with smoldering brown eyes, his lips in a thin line. "I just got my ass kicked for you," he said quietly.
"Thanks but no thanks. I didn't ask you to."
"I know. But he was practically harassing you in front of me. Did you expect me to just watch?"
"Yes! Because it wasn't your goddamn business, Atkins!"
I was losing my patience fast.
"It fucking is"
"Why?"
"Because I care for you, goddamn it!" Atkins shouted. The napkins were balled in his fist, his jaw muscles tensed. "I'm sorry," his voice was quieter now. "I shouldn't have shouted at you."
"I think that's enough for tonight," Lukas said. "We're all upset after what happened. It would do us a lot of good if we took a step back and talk about this another time, when all of us aren't upset anymore. Why don't we all head home and cool our heads off, yeah?"
"You're right," I said to Lukas. It was all too much for me. I needed the fresh air. I needed to breathe and get away from it all. "I'm going home. See you on Monday," I announced to no one in particular.
I walked out of the bar, grateful to be away from the mayhem. When I stepped out of the bar I noticed the snowflakes as they dance in the air. The winter wind blew, stinging my cheeks with the cold. I shrugged on my coat and looked up and down the street for a taxi.
Someone touched my arm. It was Atkins.
"I'll take you home," he said.
"I really appreciate your concern but we both know you've done enough for me tonight. I certainly don't want to impose on you." I let out all the sarcasm I had in that sentence. Why did he have to be so good to me? This would have been so easy if he was a jerk.
"It's not safe for you to go home alone," he reasoned.
"I'm going to take a cab," I said stubbornly.
"C'mon," he tugged gently at my hand towards where his car was parked.
I had a long day and I was tired. I didn't have the energy to argue.
We climbed into his car and I did my best to pretend he wasn't sitting beside me. My hands tightened on the seatbelt.
My mind wandered to Matt again. As hard as I tried not to think of him, I still did. He was the past I desperately wanted to forget but he kept popping out of nowhere. Just what the hell did he want? My forgiveness? I didn't think I could give it to him that easily.
Once upon a time I thought he was the perfect boyfriend. The One. But I was wrong. Now all I felt for him was hurt and hatred.
"I'll always love you," Matt had said before. But now those words meant nothing anymore.
The worst part of it all was he never made me feel unloved when we were together. Every night before we went to sleep he would whisper in my ear how much he loved me. I would've handled our breakup better if I knew right from the start that he was a jerk. Because then I would see this coming and I wouldn't feel so blind-sided. But no, he was nothing but a loving boyfriend.
Until he wasn't.
We arrived at the front steps of my apartment. I unbuckled my seatbelt and mumbled my thanks. I was about to open the door when he said, "Georgie, wait."
He cleared his throat first before speaking. "I'd like to apologize for what happened tonight."
I shook my head and said, "It wasn't your fault, Atkins. None of it were."
It was true. No matter how pissed I was at him, it wasn't his fault Matt showed up tonight. The person that I should be mad at was Matt. That heartless bastard.
My eyes caught the blooming bruise on his jawline and the small piece of paper napkin stuck to his nostril to keep it from bleeding. I felt bad. I did that to him, not directly but I knew I somehow caused it.
"We have to do something about your jaw and nose."
He grimaced. "Don't worry, I'll live," he grunted.
"Let's get you an ice pack for that bruise."
The fluorescent light flooded my bare apartment. Brown boxes were stacked to one side. My living room only consisted of the most basic furniture— a sofa, coffee table and two ottomans. I haven't finished with moving my stuff and I didn't see the need to hurry. I only took my personal belongings with me when I moved out of Matt's place. All the furniture was his anyway.
"Why don't you take a seat first? I'll get the ice pack in the medicine cabinet." I gestured for him to sit on the sofa. He did, roamed his eyes around the living room but didn't say anything.
I went to get the ice pack and filled it with ice cubes. I returned to the living room and gently pressed it on his jaw. He flinched at the contact of the cold compress. Some of his hair fell to his eyes and I couldn't help myself brushing them. His jet black hair was so silky, it felt good between my fingers.
"Is your nose still bleeding?" I asked.
He shook his head. "I don't think so. Can I go to the bathroom first? I want to wash the blood off my face."
"Yeah, sure. Down the hall and to the left.”
A few minutes later he returned, his face looked fresher, the little piece of paper napkin stuck to his nose was gone.
I patted the space beside me. He sat, his body turned to me, his arm casually rested on the backrest. I placed the ice bag on his bruised jaw.
“Ow,” he flinched.
“Hey, listen. I appreciate what you did back there but I don’t want something like that to happen again.”
I had to remind myself how to inhale deeply before exhaling because his stare and proximity was making it hard to breathe. His attention to me was so unnerving. The arm draped on the sofa moved to play with the strands of my hair. He was twirling and twirling it, making my scalp tingle from the pleasure.
Atkins shook his head. “I can’t promise that if that bastard comes near you again. Who’s he, anyway?”
It was my turn to shake my head. “I’d rather not talk about him.”
“He’s your ex, right?”
He stopped playing with my hair.
“Yes,” was my only response.
“Care to explain more?”
I shook my head once again. “I don’t want to talk about it. Why do you have to know, anyway?”
“I told you, I care about you. And I want you.” The last words were barely spoken, like a promise to the wind. I wouldn’t have heard it if I weren’t sitting so close to him.
I regarded him with wide, surprised eyes, not expecting to hear those words from him. And if I was being honest to myself, I wanted him too.
His hands were back at playing with my hair, taking fistfuls of it, tugging them gently. “So soft,” he murmured.
I leaned into his touch, reveling in his warmth and presence.
“Tell me about Matt,” he urged.
And just like that the spell was broken.
I angled away from him, my hand no longer pressing the ice bag to his bruise.
“Don’t push me away again, Georgie.”
I’ve never told anyone the whole story, not even Mariz or Lukas. All they knew was that Matt and I broke up but I never told them the whole truth. Part of me was embarrassed. It was humiliating to have your boyfriend cheat on you. It bruised my ego. I’d rather he dump me than cheat on me. I could understand falling out of love with someone but betraying their trust was just pure torture.
I refused to talk about Matt because it would open up all sorts of wounds. But I was also hurting myself for spending all my waking hours thinking about them. It was like picking on the scab of a healing wound and letting it bleed all over again.
Maybe if I was to open up to someone, I could start the healing process. I was tired of running away from Matt’s shadow. It was time to face it.
I stared at my hands on my lap, deciding how much to tell him. I knew he wouldn’t stop asking until I gave him answers. I took a deep breath, arriving at a decision. I would tell him everything.
“Alright. You want the truth? I’m going to give you the truth.”
I told Atkins everything. I told him about the night I caught Matt making out with Carmella fucking Coen, to how I reacted to what I saw. I also told him that I crashed at Mariz’s apartment for a week before I managed to find a new place with the help of Lukas’s real estate agent friend. After settling the arrangement for the new apartment, I came back to Matt’s place one day, making sure that he’s at work at those hours, and packed all the things I'd left.
From then on I ignored every one of his pleas through texts and calls. I mentioned to Atkins how Matt found out about my new address by following me to this apartment.
"So he's stalking you now?" His face was impassive but I could see the anger in his eyes.
"I don't think he meant any harm. He just wanted to talk to me. But I don't. There was nothing to talk about, really. Actions speak louder than words and it's especially true in my situation."
"What about breaking up with him?"
I shrugged, continued my explanation. "As you know, we never talked about what happened or rather, I didn't talk to him. But in my mind there was no doubt we're through. There was no way I would get back with him."
Atkins nodded, quiet for a long time.
It felt good to confide in someone, to say the things that had been plaguing my mind for months now. It was like a heavy brick was lifted off my chest.
"I should've broken his neck instead of just his nose," Atkins spoke, his voice laced with anger and hatred. "You didn't deserve what he did to you."
Atkins scooted closer until our knees were touching. "You didn't deserve any of it."
He was right, I didn't deserve it. But the thing with life is it isn't fair and sometimes we get the things we don't deserve. Knowing that he cared about me, that he listened to me, was enough. Because even if things looked dire, he was there for me.
Was this how giving a piece of yourself to someone was like? I'd never felt this way before, not with Matt. I never allowed myself to be vulnerable around Matt. I was too afraid to let him see the deepest part of me. I did trust Matt but I was afraid to bare myself to him.
I never knew confiding in someone, letting them see your weakness felt this good. I always thought it was a scary thing to do. But with Atkins it didn't feel scary at all. Deep inside me I knew that he understood me, that he wouldn't judge me for the things that I did. I knew I had his back.
It was crazy to think, given that we've only known each other for such a short time but now that I knew him, my life seemed to be only divided by two things: before and after I met him.
I couldn't help comparing him to Matt. Matt, I knew everything about him, knew his habits, his likes, the color of his favorite tie, the smell of him. I knew him so well that I could even predict what he was going to say before he said it. It was crazy how familiar he was to me. I knew he loved me, well, that was before Carmella happened.
And then there was Atkins, a guy I barely knew. How long did we know each other? A little over a month? But he felt closer to me at this moment than Matt ever did in the five years we'd been together. Atkins was unmapped territory but I felt I belonged with him.
The thing with kisses is that you don't really know who makes the first move, the only thing you know is one second you're looking each other in the eyes and then your lips meet and your mind goes blank but completely alert at the same time.
I could feel Atkins's hands as it rested on the small of my back, scorching the strip of skin exposed to his touch. My hands traveled to the planes of his chest beneath the soft cotton of his shirt. He pulled me closer, craving the close proximity of my body. His other hand cupped my face then moved to thread his fingers through my hair.
I was perfectly aware that my hands were exploring his body, touching him everywhere. I was aware how soft his lips and how rough his kisses were— just the way I liked it. A soft groan escaped his mouth as my hands went down to his throbbing bulge, squeezing and massaging it. I moaned back, letting him know how much I like the hard and firm feel of him.
Our lips parted and I instantly missed his kiss.
"I love it when you do that," he whispered in my ear, his voice rough with unfulfilled desire. He pried my hand from his fly. He kissed the inside of my palm and the back of my hand. "But we can't do this just yet."
The spell shattered.
"W-what?" I frowned in confusion. "I-I thought you want me?" I squeaked.
A heated blush crept from my neck to my cheeks. Those words sounded so needy and pathetic, which, in that moment I was. Embarrassment morphed into anger. How could he be so cruel to lead me on?
"Believe me, baby, I do want you. There's nothing I want more than to make sweet love to you. But I don't want us to do this for the wrong reason. "
I wanted to argue and say that this didn't need rhyme or reason but unfortunately, he was right. Did I really need this now, on top of my already complicated life? I was about to have casual sex with someone I barely knew. Yes, he was hot, incredibly hot and clearly a gentleman but was I ready for this? I wasn't the one-night stand type of girl. I wasn't wired for that. There were other thing that made this setup more complicated. He was my officemate. If we did this now it would change the whole dynamics of our relationship. It would become so painfully awkward for us.
We can't do this, now or ever.
"You're right, this is wrong. We shouldn't do this."
I stood up and was about to retreat to my room when he stopped me by grabbing my wrist.
"It's not what I meant." His finger tilted my chin up but I couldn't make myself meet his eyes so they settled on his lips instead. I was too mortified. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
I shook my head, still not meeting his eyes. "No. This is too damn confusing. If you want me like the way I want you then this shouldn't be so complicated."
I finally met his gaze and what I saw in his eyes were longing and hunger and lust. A sharp tingle ran from my head to toe.
"Damn it, Georgie," he growled just before his lips met mine for the second time that night. He swept me off my feet without much effort. My arms wrapped around his neck, holding on for dear life, and my legs around his waist as he guided me to my bedroom. He gently laid me on the bed without breaking the kiss. My lips parted, giving way to his tongue as our kiss deepened. I let out a small sigh when his lips moved from my lips to my jawline, then to my ear, nibbling at the lobe. His mouth trailed down to my neck, then to the valley of my breasts. One of his hands tugged up my shirt and I raised my hands to help him get it off me.
I was relieved that I decided to wear my cutest bra this morning. His hand skimmed at the lacy material, and a whimper from me made sure he knew how much pleasure it caused me. I unhooked my bra and tossed it to the side, not caring where it landed.
A slow and sexy grin tugged his lips up. His massive hands moved to cup my breasts, massaging them with reverent gentleness.
"They're perfect, you're perfect," he whispered in my ear.
Atkins's hardness pressed against my stomach. I lifted my hips up so that my crotch would rub against his. He let out a sharp intake of breath.
“Hmm, I like that," he said just before his mouth closed on one of my nipples. His tongue lapped at it, sending waves of pleasure down my toes. I grabbed fistfuls of his hair. I whimpered and whispered his name, his hands and mouth setting me on fire as he touched and kissed me in all the perfect places.
I realized he was still fully dressed so I impatiently unbuttoned his shirt.
"Easy there, kitten," he chuckled. But I was too raring to listen to him. Finally all the damn buttons unfastened. I quickly tore the shirt off his body. He should just stop wearing shirts altogether because his body was too perfect for clothes.
The ridges of his abs felt so good to the touch. I inched my hands below to his fly, unbuttoning it and slipping my hands inside his jeans. He growled in pleasure as my hands found his hard and throbbing length.
Atkins guided my hand out of his jeans and pinned it to the bed. I threw him a questioning look and he only shook his head in response. He dipped his head and planted a short, chaste kiss on my lips then on my forehead.
"As much as I don't want to stop, I have to."
"What? Why?"
Frustration surged through me again. Just what the hell kind of games was he playing?
"Believe me when I say I want you, Georgie. So badly it hurts."
"So why are you stopping?"
"Because I want to do this right. I want us to do this when you're not confused."
I let out a harsh and mirthless laugh. "Well, you sure are damn confusing right now."
He only shook his head in response like he was explaining to a stubborn child.
"You are too confused right now, what with Matt showing up tonight. And I don't want to take advantage of that."
"So why the hell are you half naked in my bed right now?"
"I was making a point."
"Making a point?" I parroted, unbelievingly.
"Don't think for one second that I don't want you because I do." He brought up my hand to his lips, kissing the palm and then the back of my hand. "I like you and I genuinely care for you. I've never felt this way towards someone before and it scares me how much I like you. We're both treading new territory. I think we owe it to ourselves to figure this out first before we go any further."
Atkins got off me and sat on the bed. I sat up and grabbed the comforter to cover myself. He was so unbelievable. First he was all over me and then he blew me off. This was so damn frustrating.
"I'm tired of your games, Atkins, and I don't want to play anymore." I sighed. "I had a long night. So if you don't mind, can you leave now?"
One moment we were getting it on and now I was kicking him out. Don't ask me how it happened that way because I had no idea either.
Atkins threw me a long look and nodded once. He stood up and put his shirt back on. I was almost sorry to see his ripped six-pack be obscured by unnecessary clothing but I was too mad at him at the moment.
He walked towards me and tilted my chin up for a kiss. Against my will, I responded to him and even sighed with bliss. He planted a kiss on my temple before saying, "Good night, babe. Dream of me tonight."
He walked to the door, turned it and walked away without turning back.
That night I laid on my bed, my mind filled with thoughts of him.
We didn't always have visitors in the firm so when the chime at the door signaled a visitor entering the office, all heads turned to it. The blood on my face drained when I saw who it was.
Lukas got up from his seat to greet the guest, he had no idea who she was. Everyone around here didn't know who she was.
"Um, hi," she smiled at Lukas. "Is Georgina Harrington here?"
Lukas's smile wavered, he must be wondering why Carmella Coen was looking for me.
Just like the last time I saw Carmella, I was rooted to my spot, unable to do or say something, anything. My heart was thundering so loudly, I was surprised it didn't escape my chest. Fear and adrenaline coursed through me. I was thankful for the computer's monitor covering my face, otherwise she would see me right away.
Fight or flight. I had to make a decision, and quickly.
"Yes, she's here," I heard Lukas say. "May I get your name?"
"Carmella Coen. Can I speak with her?"
No! I wanted to scream and run away but it was too late. Because Lukas was making his way to my table. He tapped me on the shoulder.
"Georgie, someone is here to see you." He frowned when he saw my face. "You look a bit pale, are you okay?"
A nod was the only response I could manage at the moment. I was silent for a long time.
"Someone named Carmella would like to see you," Lukas repeated.
"Alright," my voice was barely a whisper. I stood up from my seat and walked towards her.
As much as I hated to admit this, Carmella Coen was pretty, no, not just pretty but beautiful. She had the grace and confidence of someone who knew every guy's eyes was on her. Her long blond hair was streaked with highlights. Her red business suit made her all the more regal. I forced myself to meet her gaze, to not back down even if she intimidated the hell out of me.
I had no idea why she was here. There was just no reason for her to come here, unless something happened to Matt. Was he dead?
"What do you want?" I tried my best to add bitterness to my voice even if I was intimidated.
"G-georgie. Hi," she stuttered. My brow quirked up. I didn't expect she would be flustered. Why should she be? She was the one who one upped me by stealing my boyfriend behind my back. If she had the guts to pull that off, she shouldn't be the one fidgeting now.
"What do you want?" I repeated. If small talk was what she was after, I didn't have time for her, now or ever.
"Um, I know you're probably busy but can we talk?"
I didn't expect Carmella Coen would want to talk to me. And I didn't want to talk to her. But I was also curious about what she had to say. So despite my wariness towards her, I agreed.
Our afternoon break was coming up anyway so I told Lukas that I'd be talking to Carmella on the deli shop across the street.
Here we were, sitting face to face in a table in one corner. I never imagined this was possible in this life.
I've only met and talked to Carmella twice before that unfortunate incident in Matt's apartment. And in both occasion we only talked about the weather and the outfit we were wearing at that time. And in those encounters she was nothing but pleasant to me, friendly even. I thought she was genuinely nice. Until I found out she wasn't Miss Goody-two-shoes after all.
"So, what did you want to talk about? I haven't got all day," I said.
"How are you, Georgie?"
"You mean aside from you wreaking my relationship with Matt? I'm feeling fabulous. How about you?" I laced my voice with all the sarcasm I could muster. "I have a feeling you didn't visit me here to ask that question. You would really do the both of us a favor if you get on the topic you wanted to talk about."
"Alright." She nodded once, straightened her back and took a deep breath, like she was bracing herself. "You should really talk to Matt."
"I'm sorry?" I was so surprised about what she said that it didn't sink in my mind right away. "What?"
"He really feels bad about what he did to you, what we did to you. He doesn't want to end your relationship on a bad term."
Anger flared inside me. I couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth. Who did she think she was? She definitely had no right to say these things to me.
"He's feeling bad? Damn right he should. And he doesn't have a say if our relationship ends in good or bad terms because he didn't just break my heart, he cheated on me. With you. And I have all the right to be angry at both of you. I don't know what you were thinking coming here but I assure you, it doesn't change the fact that I hate you, I fucking hate both of you for making me look like a fool. Nothing you'll ever say will change that."
My hands were shaking so badly from the fury and incredulity of it all. I gulped the coffee the waitress put on the table to calm my nerves. The hot liquid burned its way down my throat but I hardly noticed it.
"We never meant it to be that way," she whispered, blinking back tears in her eyes.
She didn't have the right to tear up today. She wasn't the victim here.
"Carmella, it's not about whether you meant to or not. What matters is that you did it and no excuse will ever change that. And as much as I want to claw your eyes out and rip your hair off, I won't," I added, "because I don't want to stoop down to your level. You can have him. I'm not interested in throwaway toys."
With that I stood up and stalked out of the deli shop without stopping to look at her reaction.