Chapter Eighteen - Rory
I take a deep breath and pull into the Palladium House parking lot, whispering my mantra under my breath. “I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.”
Five Aston became something new to me when he walked out of my childhood bedroom and every single thing I was sure of in this life became a lie.
I am not a princess. He is not my prince. We are never—ever—gonna get that happily ever after.
But… and this is a huge but… I am Rory Shrike, oldest daughter of Ron the Bomb and Spencer motherfucking Shrike. So I will deal like the woman they raised me to be.
I take another deep breath as I pull into the parking spot that says ‘Sister Rory’ on a pink and gray sign near the entrance, and do that.
Full-fledged senior member of the Palladium Eating Club House, bitches.
Only forty people are included on that short list. Twenty lucky bitches and twenty lucky bros. Palladium House is the most exclusive eating club here at Princeton, and I’m in.
I square my shoulders and lift my chin, getting ready for all the questions coming my way the second I walk into that building. And then I get out of my car and walk around to open up the back to grab my shit.
Tera has ignored me all summer up until this morning when she texted to say she was here and when was I arriving.
I texted her once, back when I was still adjusting to my new normal, just to feel her out after that whole thing with Cliff. But she never texted back. So I withdrew. It’s not like I wanted to talk about what happened with Five and Cliff, anyway. Not like I even could, either.
She’s not in the parking lot, thank God. I need a moment to gather myself. Ravel up all those unraveling threads and be normal.
As normal as one can be after a girl’s fantasy is shattered.
“Rory!” some of the other girls start calling near the back entrance to the house.
I wave and smile as I approach. All fake, of course. But they don’t need to know that.
And then I see him. The one man I don’t want to see.
“Cliff,” I say, unable to hide my surprise. “What are you doing here?” What is he doing here? I mean, come on, buddy. Don’t you have a law school to attend or something? I really don’t need this kind of confrontation on the very first day back.
“I was just dropping Tera off,” he says, taking both my hands once he’s close enough to pull me into a hug. “I’m sorry about the way I left things in Colorado,” he whispers in my ear.
“It’s… OK,” I say, pushing him off me as gently as I can. “I think.”
“Did you have a nice summer?” Cliff asks, still holding my hands as he gazes down at me.
Nice? No. I would not call it a nice summer. “Yes,” I say. “It was perfect, actually.” I’m so not in the mood to—
“Rory!” Tera is dashing across the parking lot screaming my name. “Rory! Oh, my God! I thought I’d never see you again!”
She crashes into me, almost knocking me down—if Cliff hadn’t conveniently been there to catch us both—and wraps her arms tightly around me.
“Holy Jesus motherfucking fuck, Rory Shrike!” Tera squeals. “I’ve missed you so much. I have so much to tell you about this summer. Why didn’t you call me…”
I look over my shoulder at Cliff to find him smiling and waving. “I’ve got your bags,” he calls, as Tera continues to lead me towards the house, talking a mile a minute.
“You’re so lucky you stayed home this summer. The Hamptons, OMG, Rory. It was all drama. Jason Blumenthal—remember him from last year? Well, he got together with Sylvia P. Not Sylvia R. I know they’re easy to confuse since they both have that ridiculous platinum hair and big tits, but Sylvia P. And you remember what her dad does?”
I don’t need to answer. Tera fills me in on all the details of Sylvia P and Jason B’s summer fling. And by the time we get up to my room on the second floor of the house, I’ve learned all I need to know.
Drama.
I’m so glad I stayed away this summer as well. There’s no way I was ready to come back to this. I’m not even sure I’m ready now.
But I do like that she just blew past all the awkwardness of beginning of summer and jumped right into the new awkwardness of back to school.
“So what do you think of the room?” Tera opens her arms up wide in a ta-da gesture. “I had all your stuff brought over from storage this morning.”
It’s a nice room, I have to admit. Large and exquisitely decorated in muted tan and pale blue. The furniture is all high-end designer. And there’s even a make-up vanity in one corner with a beautiful antique mirror. The perfect place for a princess to get ready for a night out.
“It’s… great,” I say, forcing myself to act excited. I don’t give one fancy fuck about this room. I’m here on autopilot. That’s all.
“I picked out the color scheme. I told Nancy that you like pastels. But pink?” She wrinkles her nose. “No pink. So I chose blue.”
I’m still smiling my fake smile. Trying to think of something clever and witty to say. Something Princess Rory would say.
Tera frowns. “You can redecorate if you don’t like it.”
“No!” I say. “No, no, no. I love it, Tera. Really, I do.” I hug her tight and enjoy her familiarity for a moment. “Thank you,” I say, still embracing her.
She pats my back and holds me an extra second before pushing me away to hold me at arm’s length. “Are you OK?” Her smile is gone now. Her face is nothing but the serious expression of a concerned friend. “I know what happened last June was… weird, but Rory, I’m your best friend. I’m here for you. You know that right?”
“I know.” I sigh, letting my sadness and disappointment through for a second. But then I ravel up those loose ends and paint on a bright smile. “Let’s just forget about this summer, OK? I just want to concentrate on what’s next, ya know?”
Tera nods her head, her smile back in place. “OK,” she says, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear in a tender gesture that makes me ache for her. We have been tight friends for years now.
“I’ve missed you,” I say, meaning it.
She make a pouty face. “It’s OK,” she says. “New year, new rules, new everything, right?”
I nod. “Right.”
“And we’re going out tonight—”
“No,” I say. God, not yet. I’m not ready.
But Tera stomps her foot. “Yes,” she insists. “We’re going out tonight. I know you don’t want to hear about the Hamptons, but I do have a few delicious details to fill you in on. One of which is my new man.”
Now this is interesting. So my ears perk up. “OK, I do want to know that.” I laugh. “Who is it?”
But Tera just hooks her arm in mine and walks me further into the room, kicking the door closed behind her. “You’re gonna have to show up tonight to find out. It’s secret,” she says. “Even to me. Did you talk to anyone else yet? About our secret party?”
“No. What kind of secret party?” I ask. “Is this the big Palladium House reveal?”
“I think so,” she says, dropping her voice into a low whisper. And then she shrugs and flops down on my new bed. “I’m not sure. But it’s by invitation only.”
“And we have to bring a date?” I ask.
“No,” Tera says “It’s our… pairing.”
What the fuck?
“Knock, knock?” Cliff is opening the door with my luggage. It’s not much, since I went home last spring with… well, nothing but one hastily-packed backpack. I did pick up some new clothes. So I have a couple extra cases, but they’re small, so Cliff manages all three of them with ease.
“Where do you want this, Rory?”
I look around the room and nod to the closet. “Just over there is fine. Thanks, Cliff.” He sets each case down and then pauses before turning back to us. The expression on his face is one of sadness. I’ve known him long enough as just a friend to read the disappointment.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Tera says, backing away. “But be ready by eight, Ror. We can’t be late for this, OK?”
I nod, doing my best to silently assure her that I will, but my eyes are stuck on Cliff as she exits, closing the door to give us privacy. “I’m sorry,” I say.
“Nothing to be sorry about,” he says, shrugging. “Shit happens for a reason, right?”
“I suppose.” I sigh, sitting down on my bed. “Did you tell her what happened?”
“No,” Cliff says. “Not much, anyway. Just that you broke up with me and…” But his words trail off. So… all that stuff that happened afterward goes unsaid. “She knows something is wrong though. She’s gonna relentlessly bug you about it all year until you give in and spill the details.”
I nod. Not knowing what to say to that. “Are you staying for the party tonight?”
“Not invited,” Cliff says. He pauses. Looks away, then back at me. “You know, they asked me to be part of this.” He pans his hands wide, indicating this means Palladium House.
“But… you were a member of the Locke House Eating Club.”
“I know. They didn’t like that much.”
“Who?” I ask.
“Palladium.”
“What didn’t they like?”
“That I turned them down, Rory. I never wanted Tera to be part of Palladium, but she was so excited. And you got accepted too, so…” He shrugs. “I never thought it would be like this.”
“Like what?” I ask, my curiosity in overdrive now.
“I gotta get going,” he says, changing the subject. “Law school, remember?”
“Yeah,” I say. “I remember.”
That awkward silence between two people who were in a relationship, but are no longer, sets in.
“So…” Cliff says.
“Yeah,” I say back.
“OK, then,” he says. “I guess I’ll leave you to it. But Rory,” he says, lowering his voice. “Call me if you need anything, OK? And I do mean anything.”
Normally, when one hears those words from an ex-boyfriend, one might assume he’s hinting at some kind of friends-with-benefits arrangement. But Cliff and I never got past the friends part. There have never been, nor will there ever be, benefits. So that’s not what he means.
“I will,” I say, forcing a smile.
He gives me one more long look, then turns away and walks out, leaving the door open.
There’s a lot of commotion outside in the hallway and I recognize Kallie’s and Mia’s voices as they talk loudly to Cliff. This house isn’t too big and only the senior officers get to live in the house, and that’s only four people on this side of the mansion—me, Tera, the President, Kallie, and her VP, Mia. I was voted secretary this year and Tera is the treasurer, so we get senior officer privileges.
But all I want right now is my little apartment back. Hell, if I’m being honest, all I really want is my childhood bedroom back at the farm.
“One more year,” I whisper. And then, with any luck, I will move far away and live somewhere quiet and boring.
“Knock, knock!”
I look over at the door to find Kallie beaming one of those obnoxious eating-club-president smiles at me from the hallway.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course,” I say, patting the bed next to me. I’ve known Kallie since freshman year. We were Palladium Pledge Partners. You can’t be a member of Palladium Eating Club until junior year, but if you don’t make your interest known at the beginning of freshman year, your chances of getting in are slim to none. And if you had asked me back then who would end up being my BFF in college, I’d have said her. But then Tera and I just… clicked. And Kallie migrated towards Mia so she didn’t have to be third wheel.
“One more year,” Kallie says, placing a hand on my shoulder. “So sad, right?”
Shit. I really need to keep my mutterings to myself from now on. So many ears in this place. “Yeah,” I say, smiling at her. Kallie is a ginger. But not the orange-y kind of ginger. The deep, auburn kind that barely qualifies. She’s tall, thin and exudes sex appeal in every way. And she has the most striking green eyes to boot.
I’m no wallflower. I look just like my bombshell of a mother. But Kallie’s sex appeal puts mine to shame. She is designer labels and diamond rings. She owns two-hundred-dollar push-up bras and she actually wears lingerie to bed. Like… every night. When she told me that back in freshman year I didn’t believe her. But then she showed me her dorm-room dresser. Yup. Drawers and drawers filled with lingerie. She had to move out of the dorms sophomore year. She needed more closet space.
“Don’t be sad, Rory. We’re gonna be friends for life. That’s the whole point of joining the Palladium family, right?”
“Right,” I say. “I know that.” Believe me, I know that. It’s the whole reason I came back.
“Anyway,” Kallie says. “I just wanted to stop by to drop off your invitation.” She thrusts an envelope at me. It’s silver and has my name on it in pretty script writing. “The party tonight is formal. I wasn’t sure how much Tera told you about it, so I just wanted to make that clear.” And then she glances over at my empty closet and boxes of unpacked stuff with a worried look other face. “Do you have something silver to wear? All us girls went out shopping last week to get our dresses. But, of course,” she says, slight clip to her words, “you weren’t here.”
“I know,” I say. “It was a weird summer.”
“I’ve heard,” she says, her smile turning into a frown of sympathy. “But you’ll have to fill me in on the details. Tera didn’t give up too much information.”
“I didn’t tell her. And if you don’t mind, I’m not going to talk about it anymore. So it’ll have to remain a mystery.”
“Don’t do that, Rory. Don’t shut us out. We are your sisters now. We’re going to be here for you for the rest of your life. All of us. So don’t bottle up your problems. Let us help you.” She rubs my shoulder to illustrate her level of concern.
“I know, Kallie. But this is about love. And no one can help you get over something like that.”
“Wrong,” Mia says from my open doorway—I really need to keep that thing closed. “We have the perfect answer for love troubles, don’t we, Kal?” Mia is exotic-looking. You can’t tell what race she is just by looking at her. She appears Asian at times, with her striking almost almond-shaped eyes. But she’s very fair. And curvy. And her long wavy hair is light brown and her eyes are a blue-green hazel.
“That’s right,” Kallie says.
“Open your invitation,” Mia squeals. “I’m dying to see who you got.”
“Who I got?” I say.
“Your date,” Kallie says. “The answer to all your problems.”
“I got Jeremy Warren,” Mia says. “And OMG, he’s so fucking hot. I cannot wait to be paired up tonight.”
“Not to mention rich,” Kallie says with a smirk.
“Look who’s talking,” Mia shoots back. “You got Edward Van Visser. That man’s family has more money than God.”
Kallie shrugs, but her satisfied smile betrays her feigned indifference.
I look down at the silver envelope in my hand. My name is engraved, not printed. And my fingertips can’t help themselves. I trace it, feeling the shallow dip of the letters.
“Hurry!” Mia says. “I can’t take the anticipation!”
I turn it over. The paper is thick. Expensive. The kind of envelope you’d use for a very formal wedding. And it’s been sealed with a circular embossed silver sticker that has the words ‘Palladium House Eating Club’ engraved around the spiked star-burst edges.
I peel it back, take out the card, and read.
Dearest Aurora,
Welcome to the first exciting night of your new life. From this day forward you will never be alone. From this day forward you will be surrounded by your Palladium family. From this day forward you belong to us and we belong to you.
Join your new family in celebration and meet your new partner, Franklin Fulbright, at eight PM in the Palladium House main dining room.
Sincerely,
Palladium House Eating Club
“Franklin! Oh, my God!” Mia screams. “You lucky, lucky bitch!”
“Wow,” Kallie says. “He’s the House President.”
“Hmmm,” I say. I know Frank. We’ve been in lots of classes together over the years. He’s kinda cool, actually. And kinda cute too. “Shouldn’t you be paired with him?” I ask Kallie. “I mean, you’re our president. And don’t the presidential pairs normally attend Eat Meet together?”
“I cannot wait for Eat Meet this year,” Mia says. “Jeremy and I are already discussing what we’ll wear.”
Princeton has a few non-sanctioned Greek fraternities and sororities, but what we really have here are eating clubs. They are basically the same thing, but the university says they’re not.
The eating clubs are private and each of them convenes in one of the large mansions lining Prospect Street, commonly called the Street. They are all co-ed, but Palladium has two clubs housed simultaneously in the largest mansion on the Street. Palladium East is for men and Palladium West is for women, so we have a pair of presidents.
The main dining room is where we all take our meals. I have eaten here daily since I was admitted to the Club in Junior year. The meals are elaborate and Palladium employs some of the best chefs on the East Coast, so they are always delicious. But I’ve never been to the Eat Meet because it’s reserved for senior members.
It is pretty exciting. Or it would be, if my life hadn’t fallen apart over the summer.
“Anyway,” Kallie says, redirecting my attention back to her. “Edward is more my type than Frank. So… the dress. Do you have a silver dress for tonight?”
Do I have a silver dress? I want to roll my eyes. “No,” I say politely. “No, I’m afraid I don’t. Maybe I’ll just skip it.”
“Skip it?” Mia and Kallie say this at the same time, with the same level of incredulousness.
“No.” Kallie laughs. “You cannot skip Palladium Pairing, Rory. It’s simply not done. I have an extra dress you can borrow. I thought this might happen so I bought two.” She pats my knee, like I’m her child instead of her friend, and this small reassurance is all it takes to set things right. “And I got your size, so don’t worry.” And with that declaration, she stands up and says, “I’ll come by with it after I finish making my rounds.”
“Byeeeee,” Mia calls out, following her.
“Byeeeee,” I mimic, sarcastically. But softly, so they don’t hear me.
“Well.” I sigh, walking over to tap my door closed. “I guess this is it, Rory. Your new life begins now.”
That’s what the invitation in my hand says, anyway.
So I guess it’s true.
After Mia and Kallie leave I sit on my bed and ponder just how things got so fucked up this summer. It all started with Oliver. Stupid Oliver.
But did it really start with Oliver? I mean, Oliver didn’t make Five stay away for six years. Oliver didn’t have anything to do with all the things happening now. He was only looking out for my best interest. He wanted me to be happy. And isn’t that the most adorable thing a little brother could want for his biggest sister?
No. This is not Oliver’s fault.
“Knock, knock.” Tera already has the door open and is entering my room without waiting for an invitation. At least that’s still the same. “Kallie gave me your dress for tonight.” She holds up a silver garment bag and wiggles it. “Open it!” she squeals. “I need to see what it looks like right now!”
Me too, since I wasn’t the one who picked it out. But I keep my negativity quelled as I take the bag, close my door, looking for the hook to hang it on, and then unzip it.
“Holy—” Tera is stunned silent. Which isn’t easy to do.
“Wow,” I say, pulling the dress out of the bag and hanging it back up. “Just… wow.”
Tera grabs the tag hanging off a strap and covers her mouth in a gasp. “Shit!” she says, finishing the last part of her initial sentiment. “Do you see this?”
I try not to, but it’s hard to miss the comma and zeroes in that price.
“She spent over nine thousand dollars on a dress?” Tara exclaims. “Jesus. I knew Kallie had money, but… Jesus. That’s a lot of money for a dress you only wear once, right? I mean, it’s not a wedding.”
“It’s not?” I laugh, unable to stop myself. “I’m pretty sure Kallie and Mia think we’re all getting married to Palladium House tonight.”
Tera squints her eyes at me. “That’s not true.”
I squint my eyes back. Because it was a joke. “Well.” I shrug. “I mean, that’s what we’re doing, right? Pledging ourselves to these people? Sisterhood and brotherhood and all that good high-and-mighty classy shit that rich people do?”
Tera just stares at me.
“Sorry,” I say, meaning it. Because I just insulted her. I just insulted everyone here. I basically just broke apart from the group and put us all in us-and-them categories.
“I thought you wanted to pledge Palladium?”
“I do,” I say. “I do. I’m sorry. I’m still not myself after last summer.”
“You need to forget about that guy, Rory. Five Aston. Do you know I looked him up this summer after all that shit happened?”
“God,” I say, sitting down on the corner of my bed. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Well, you’re going to. That’s what best friends do, OK? They contribute to your fantasy as long as it’s harmless, but they yank you back to reality when things go sideways. And that man…” Tera shakes her head. “Has some shady dealings, Rory. Capital S. Capital D. It’s better for you to stay far, far away from him. Trust me. And forget my brother, all right? I don’t care if you don’t like him that way. But you’re gonna find someone better. Someone worthy.”
“Like who?” I ask, seriously needing to know who she sees me with in the future. “Like Frank Fulbright?”
This makes Tera’s face light up. “You’re paired with Frank?”
I nod, unable to see why this makes her happy. Frank isn’t a guy Tera would ever date. He’s very smart. Everyone at Princeton is smart, but Frank is like, genius-level smart. He’s not ugly. But he’s not handsome, either. Not like Five. He’s… OK. But mostly, he’s just… rich. And well bred. I think that’s what girls here at Princeton look for first in a man. Money. And the older it is, the more they like it.
“Stop it,” Tera says, slapping my shoulder. “Stop thinking about Five. And stop comparing Frank to him. Frank and Five are nothing alike. I’ve known Frank since we were kids. Practically grew up together in boarding school. His family is nice.”
“And pretentiously rich,” I say.
“So?” Tera says. “I’m pretentiously rich. And you never had a problem with that before you ditched me last minute to fly home to see some guy who doesn’t deserve you and, to be blunt, doesn’t want you.”
“Thanks a lot,” I say.
“And you’re not poor, Rory. Your blood might not be blue, but your parents have a lot of zeroes in their bank accounts. There’s no way you’d even get in to Palladium if that wasn’t the case.”
“Really?” I ask. “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”
“What?” Tera says, feigning innocence. “Like it’s a secret. Everyone knows Palladium only takes people with bright futures. And bright futures require lots and lots of family money. You’re one of us, Rory. This,” she says, waving her arms at my room, “proves it.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be one of you?”
Tera just stares at me. “What happened last summer? I mean, aside from Five walking out on you. I got that when you texted me that day to let me know you weren’t coming out to the Hamptons. But what happened after? Why did you stay home all summer? And never call?”
“I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me.”
“I was giving you space. But I expected you to get in touch when you sorted things out. And you never did. Why?”
“After all that stuff with Cliff?” I laugh. “He practically told me Five was dangerous. And you called and were almost begging me not to let Five hurt him!”
“I was overreacting,” she says. “I’m sorry. Cliff is… weird about stuff like this.”
I raise my eyebrows, wondering just how much Tera knows about what’s really happening. “Stuff like… what?” I ask.
“Never mind. Cliff is just unhappy about us being in Palladium House. He’s bitter and—”
“Wait,” I say, putting up a hand to stop her right there. “What do you mean unhappy? He told me he got accepted and he turned them down. So why would he be bitter about you getting in?”
“It’s stupid. He thinks they’re like Skull and Bones, or something.” She waves her hand in the air, like this is preposterous. “He’s always been that way. My father is like that too. Jesus, you should have heard him ranting this summer about how I should’ve joined the eating club Cliff was in. Talk about boring, right?”
She laughs.
I do not. “Listen, Tera, I might agree with Cliff about this place. Five told me—”
“Five told you.” Tera huffs. “Five didn’t tell you shit! He’s part of the Chinese mob, Rory! What kind of man joins the fucking mob?”
“My man,” I say And it comes out sad. And desperate. And…
“Are you clinically depressed, Rory? Do you need to seek help? What’s going on?”
“What?” I exclaim. It’s so fucking ridiculous. “No, Tera. I’m not clinically depressed. Why would you even say that?”
She shrugs. “You do admit, you’re having trouble letting go of the past. Five Aston is not your man anymore. He’s some stupid mobster you need to forget about.”
“I just need time,” I say. “You don’t understand, Tera. I spent my whole life counting on this man to be my prince. And nothing is working out the way I want it.”
“So change that, Rory,” Tera says. “Turn it around.”
“I don’t want to turn it around. I want him, OK? That’s it.” I watch her carefully as she processes this. One eye closes slightly, which is a sign of suspicion. So I add, “But he doesn’t want me. I get it. There’s nothing I can do to make him want me.”
Her shoulders relax. And then I get a smile. “There’s always a way, Rory. But… do you want to waste your A-game on a guy who doesn’t want to play? Give Frank a try. What could it hurt? You don’t have to do anything with him. Just be nice this evening. Try to have a good time. Just…” She sits down on the bed next to me and puts her arm around my shoulder in a hug. “Just be yourself again. I miss that girl. I’ve missed her all summer. And I want her back.”
I sigh into her embrace and force myself to relax. “I’m sorry I’m not myself. I don’t know if I’ll ever be myself again.” And this, at least, is not a lie. I will never be Princess Shrike again. It’s over. That fairy tale has an ending and it wasn’t the happily ever after I was expecting.
“Frank is good for you,” she says, dropping the subject of Five. “I know you’ll be fine.” She pets my hair and rests her head against mine. “Put on that dress and I’ll pick you up here at eight. OK?”
“Fine,” I say, giving in. There’s no other way this conversation can end. “Go get dressed yourself. I’ll be ready and I’ll make the most of it.”
“No,” Tera says, getting up off the bed so she can glare down at me again. “You’ll be more than ready. You’ll be perfect. I’ll accept nothing less.” And then she turns on her heel, walks to the door, throws it open, and looks over her shoulder, saying, “Tonight, Miss Shrike, is the first day of your new life.”
So I’ve been told.
But Tera is already gone, the door already closed before I can respond.
I stare at the dress for a few seconds, then get up and check that tag again. Over nine thousand dollars. And Frank Fulbright is my date. Not Five Aston.
I make a pouty face.
They’ve paired me with him for a reason. And I only have two choices tonight. Accept the life Palladium is offering me. Or blow all the plans I’ve made.
I sigh, slip the dress off the hanger, and lay it down on the bed so I can spread out the skirt and get a better look. There’s a slit in the tulle that goes all the way up the thigh. And the top, while exquisitely made with enough bling to charm even the best-bred princesses, is really nothing more than a sheer bodice with strategically placed beads and crystals.
My fingers play with the tulle. It’s so soft. It’s like a dream. A fantasy dress tailor-made for a fantasy night by a Parisian designer. My mom would kill to see me in this. Hell, she’d probably fight me for it.
And that thought makes me laugh.
I’m gonna do it, I decide. I’m gonna go through with Palladium tonight. And I’m gonna show up for Eat Meet next week and do it again. I’m all in. I’ve given up a lot to get to this moment in time and I’m not gonna let anything stand in my way.
But when I pass the mirror on my way to start the shower, that pouty look is still on my face.
“Suck it up, Shrike. This is your big moment.”
And then I force that smile on my face. And I keep it there as I wash my hair, dry off, and start putting on my makeup.
It’s still there when I finish pulling my hair up into a sophisticated updo that would make my aunt Rook proud. Still there when I put the dress on and reach behind my back to find the zipper. Still there when I slip my feet into the shoes I found at the bottom of the bag. Fucking Kallie thinks of everything, doesn’t she?
And it’s still there when I check myself in the mirror.
But that’s where it falters. Just a small slip in my feigned happiness. Just a tiny indiscretion as I picture what my life could’ve been. Five, standing behind me, fastening a necklace. Kissing my neck. Telling me I’m beautiful.
And then the knock on my door pulls me back from the edge.
I ravel up all those loose ends and… yes. There it is. The smile of a princess before the ball.
“Rory!” Tera calls.
“Come on, bitch!” Mia shouts. “We’ve got men waiting for us!”
I pull the door open, smile firmly in place. “Good God!” I exclaim. “You are stunning!”
“Look who’s talking,” Mia says, pulling at my tulle skirt to reveal my upper thigh. So… she knew exactly what Kallie gave me. “Gonna show some leg tonight, Aurora?”
“It’s Rory,” I growl at her before I can stop myself. But then I recover, my smile back in place, and I say, “I don’t suppose I have a choice?”
“You don’t,” Tera says.
Both of them have equally exquisite gowns. Beads and lace in a tight, form-fitting mermaid for wild Mia, and tulle and silk for Tera.
“Where’s Kallie?” I ask, looking down the hall.
“She’s already gone downstairs to get things ready for the ceremony.”
“How does she know what to get ready?” I ask. “We’re all new at this. None of us have ever done this before. So who told her what to do? Is there some secret book, or something?”
Mia squints her eyes at me, but I hold my smile in place like a pro. “You know she can’t discuss that.”
“But do you know?” Tera asks, equally intrigued.
“Of course not,” Mia says. “It’s forbidden to even ask about it. So follow my lead and don’t ask again.”
Her last words come out like a warning.
“Fine,” Tera says. “Like I care, anyway. I’m not the least bit interested in the stupid secrets. I’m here for the parties!”
“Yeah, sorry,” I say, backing away from the confrontational change in Mia. “I know better.”
Mia stares at me for a second, then beams me a smile. “No harm. Just… don’t put me in that position again, OK? I don’t like keeping secrets. I’m not even good at keeping secrets. But these secrets are sacred. And Palladium is serious about keeping them. Besides, everyone will know next week at Eat Meet anyway.”
Tera grabs my hand and pulls me out of my room, closing my door behind me. “I might be too drunk to care next week too. So whatever.”
Yeah. Whatever. It must be nice not to give any fucks whatsoever about what this place really is, and what this night really means.
I wish I was that girl. I wish I had grown up as Princess Middleton. Blinded to the ways of the world by her old money and society-page parents.
But I didn’t. I grew up Princess Shrike. And my family might be rich, but that money isn’t old, and the only time they were in the newspaper was when my father was on trial for murder.
They have to know this. Kallie and Mia, at the very least. And if they know, then Tera knows. So… why am I here? Why did they bring me into their little club? What purpose could I ultimately have in this secret place we’re calling Palladium House?
I’ve been asking myself that question all summer. And tonight is the night I might finally get an answer.