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Forbidden Hunger (Forbidden series Book 3) by Mia Madison (6)

5

It’s late, but I can’t sleep. Can’t stop thinking about that moment when I almost kissed Tori. If Eden hadn’t come in, I would have done a lot more than kiss her.

My hand grips my cock, stroking. I don’t have to summon the fantasies; they flood through me without hesitation, like the blood rushing to my dick. Undressing Tori, touching her, kissing her.

Claiming every inch of her.

“Tori,” I groan, my hand moving faster. “Fuck.”

She wanted me. In that moment, at least, she wanted it just as much as I did. I could have kissed her silly, bent her over my desk, and buried myself in her silky hot depths.

As my phantom cock finds heaven inside her, my real one lets go. As soon as it’s over, I’m disgusted with myself.

What kind of man am I?

The kind who makes a living catering to the rich and powerful, a voice in my head answers. I shove it aside. Taking care of Eden after her mother died was all that mattered, and I won’t apologize for building a life that makes us both secure.

But now? the voice persists. Cursing, I fling back the covers and go into the bathroom to clean up.

It’s true I’ve been having doubts lately about the path my life has taken. Wondering if there can’t be something … more. More satisfying, more meaningful, than making sure the haves get to keep all their goodies.

“That’s a pipe dream,” I mutter to myself. “It’s too late now. The practice is thriving. If you start over you’ll lose everything, and people depend on you. Eden depends on you.”

Eden. What would my baby girl think of me if she knew the thoughts I’ve been having about her friend? It doesn’t matter that everyone I know would pat me on the back for having a lover my daughter’s age.

I’ve got to be better than that. No more thinking about Tori and touching yourself. Shut it down. You have to.

I go back to bed, but have a restless night. Dreams plague me, fevered reveries that all star Tori. Again and again, I wake up with a raging hard-on that I refuse to let myself tend to.

I’m up before my alarm goes off, exhausted. I’ll have to get through the day on caffeine. Shuffling into the kitchen, I pour a mug of coffee and slug it down.

When I turn, it’s to see both girls sitting in the breakfast nook. Eden has her back to me and is talking about a routine she’s practicing for one of her classes. Tori’s wearing one of the pajama sets I got her, a flouncy pair of flared pants and a camisole top.

Her small, firm, pert breasts are clearly visible, her nipples outlined against the satin. That’s all it takes for my cock to suddenly be the size of a Cruise missile.

Her eyes meet mine, and in them I see the same haunted look that met me in my mirror this morning. She’s feeling it too. Fighting it, like I am.

Without a word, I turn around again, refill my mug, and take it back to my bedroom. I’m going to need the world’s longest cold shower before I can go to work.

Thank fuck Eden was there. If I’d been alone with Tori, I’m not sure what I might have done. I let Hugh take the girls to school and come back for me, not trusting myself to share the car with them.

At work, I ignore my messages, shut myself into my office, and call my brother. “Ash,” Hunter greets me with a smile. “This is a pleasant surprise. You look like hell.”

“Nice to see you too,” I grumble at the computer screen.

“So what’s up?”

I start to speak, then shake my head. “You know what, never mind. This was a bad idea.”

“Ash.” Hunter turns serious in the blink of an eye. “You called me for a reason. What’s going on?”

I’m good with words. In my line of work, it’s pretty much a necessity. But right at this moment I’m about as articulate as an infant.

“You and Lily,” I blurt out at last.

His expression changes at the mention of his young bride. The look in his eyes is proud, tender, but at the same time possessive and feral. I understand.

Tori makes me feel the same way.

“Who is she?” he asks, and I give up pretending.

“Her name is Tori. Tori Smith.”

“And she’s perfect for you.”

I close my eyes as his words wash over me. “Fuck,” I breathe. “I think she might be.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

I meet his gaze. “She’s Eden’s best friend.”

He nods, understanding. “A little different than my situation.”

“Just a little.” Hunter doesn’t have a daughter, grown or otherwise. He and Lily had their own obstacles to overcome, but nothing like this.

My brother cocks his head. “What do you want me to say, Ash? If she’s the one, I won’t tell you to walk away. I can say she’ll be worth it, no matter how much hell you have to go through. If she’s the one.”

“I can’t … square it with myself. No matter how I look at it, it doesn’t seem right.”

“Does she want you?”

“I think so.”

Hunter arches his brows. “You think?”

“I haven’t let myself explore things with her; I’m trying like hell to stay away from her. But I think it’s mutual.”

“You’ve been alone a long time, brother. Eden has always come first, and I admire that more than I can say. Maybe it’s time for you now.”

“Even if it is, how the hell am I supposed to tell my daughter I’m fucking her best friend?”

“I don’t know.” Hunter’s gaze is full of sympathy. “But I can tell you this: if Tori’s the one for you, and you let her walk away, you’ll never stop regretting it.”