There was no way I could concentrate on my chemistry homework when, just outside my apartment window, there was a nasty storm ravaging the campus. Las Positas University was getting pummeled by torrential rain and the violent barrage had not let up since the morning. But, it was almost 3pm and thanks to hours of dreary weather, all I wanted to do was to curl up in a ball and fall asleep.

For the past few hours, I had pretty much been stuck in the same position, my pencil hovering idly above my paper. I had not been able to get past the first problem, which required me to draw an example of chemical bonding. I had a vague idea of what I was supposed to be doing, but for some reason, the answer wasn’t coming as easy as it usually does, so I just started trying random options. I figured that it would be a serviceable strategy for the remainder of the annoying worksheet.

My chemistry professor, Professor Cates, had given me this crap to help try and raise my grade in the subject moving forward. Actually, she had given me an entire packet of worksheets, along with a mammoth textbook to study over the summer. It wasn’t exactly how I wanted to spend my vacation, but when my grade point average was hardly where it needed to be, what choice did I have?

I needed to maintain at least a 3.2 GPA in order to keep my scholarship and stay at Las Positas. I was barely able to keep my head above water this past spring semester, sneaking through with a 3.24. The only way I even managed that was by dropping chemistry, but I knew I would have to face the music eventually. With the fall semester fast approaching, my day of reckoning was almost upon me.

To prepare for it, I was jotting down notes from the massive book that the professor had loaned me, while trying to simultaneously knock out the ridiculous practice sheets. I would have preferred to have been sipping tea and reading a novel while listening to the falling rain, which seemed a lot more appealing than more chemistry homework.

The book I was currently engrossed in sat temptingly on the corner of my desk within arm’s reach, and it looked like my get out of jail free card. There was nothing like a good book to help me escape the mind-numbing repetition of homework. I was a book junkie and my idea of a great time was curling up on a rainy day with a romance or mystery classic. I had been known to lose track of time completely and finish a book in an afternoon. But I didn’t have time for that now. If I had any chance of making it through my senior year, I couldn’t give in to distractions.

Yet, my mind started to drift from the chemistry problem again, and I realized that maybe I needed some extra help. It was August, summer was winding down, and I was tired. I had devoted heaps of hours per day for months to going over this content, and much of it still wasn’t registering with me. I didn’t want to just wing it through the rest of the practice problems without understanding them. I would only be doing myself a disservice if I guessed all the way through. So, I decided to consult the internet for a little guidance.

Back in high school, whenever I found myself at a total dead end, especially with math and science, I would go online and watch videos to help me understand. As a marine sciences major, I thought that I would have a good grasp on all subgenres of science, but for some reason, chemistry was always a hurdle.

I grabbed the white earbuds that hung over my desk lamp and plugged them into my phone, hoping I could shut out the relentless downpour outside, then opened up the video app on my phone. I searched ‘Lewis dot structure,’ and a bunch of results came up that looked helpful. I clicked on the first video I saw, from someone using the ridiculous name KewlScyence, and prepared to learn everything I could. But as soon as I started watching the video and taking notes, it was interrupted when my phone flashed with my best friend Evie’s face.

I rolled my eyes. What could she possibly want right now? I thought. I honestly didn’t feel like being bothered and was tempted to hit ‘decline.’ But I couldn’t do that to my best friend. We had known each other since middle school and, even though she made me want to rip my hair out most of the time, I wouldn’t trade her in for the world.

“What up, girlie.” I answered, a statement more than a question.

“Kiki! What are ya doing?” I absolutely hated that nickname and she knew it, but she refused to stop using it.

“Oh, nothing. You just totally ruined my study session, but it’s cool,” I replied, aimlessly wrapping and unwrapping the cord of my earbuds around my index finger.

“You can’t be serious,” Evie chuckled with disbelief. “You’re studying? What is wrong with you? It’s the end of summer. What the hell could you be studying now?”

“I have to! I am retaking one of my chemistry classes this coming semester, and I need to gear up for it.”

“Wait, what?” Evie gasped with surprise. “Did you drop it last semester?”

“Yeah, I did,” I said sheepishly, kneading my forehead. I was known for being a pretty good student, from kindergarten to now, so openly admitting that I had to let go of a class was a huge kick to my ego. So much so that I didn’t even tell my best friend what was going on. “Since we’re being honest, I have a few major classes I’m kind struggling in.”

“Wow. I am so offended that you kept that from me, McKinley, oh my goodness,” Evie said with a touch of melodrama. “But anyway, I didn’t call to discuss school. I was actually calling to see if you wanted to hang with me and the girls tonight.”

“Evie, no. I really need to study. Like, I’ve literally been sitting here in the same spot for hours, trying to understand this damn problem.”

“So, you got nothing accomplished with your little study session?”

“Well, I did scribble a few notes and stuff, but…”

“That’s all you need! Unless you’re writing a dissertation, lengthy notes are not necessary. So, c’mon!”

“Evie. I have to understand the material. Not just write down a few unintelligible notes.”

“McKinley, everyone needs a night off! Why are you being so difficult?” Evie whined. She sounded like a spoiled little girl on the verge of tears. “We haven’t had a girls’ night in ages.” I could see her now, through the phone, poking out her bottom lip with widened puppy eyes. It was her signature go-to pout whenever she tried to convince me to do something.

I sighed, trying to prevent myself from cracking under peer pressure. “Where are you guys going anyway?” I asked, for a moment actually considering the offer.

“We going to Frankie’s.” Evie’s tone changed from disheartened to eager immediately. “Just to eat and catch up, nothing crazy.”

I wasn’t sure if I believed that. Knowing Evie, if she got her way, she would have us playing drunken strip poker at some fraternity house by the end of the night.

“I am a little hungry. I could use a drink, too,” I admitted.

“See? This is exactly why you should come out with us. Take a break, get away from your work, and unwind.”

“I can’t just get away from my work, Evie. It’s just going to be waiting here for me when I get back.”

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.”

I rolled my eyes again.

“I just want you to relax for once and be twenty-one, that’s all.”

“I don’t know, I’ll think about it,” I said dryly, twirling my earbuds around like a propeller. “And have you taken a peek outside? It’s disgusting out there!”

“Nice try, but that’s supposed to let up by this evening. Stop being such a homebody! Young lady, if I have to drag your ass out of that apartment, I will! You deserve this. You work so hard all the time.”

I sucked in a large breath through my nose and let out a conceding exhale. “Okay. Alright. I’ll go out with you guys, but only if you agree to buy me a drink. Deal?”

“Deal!” Evie yelled happily before hanging up. I sighed and dropped my head into my hands.

Why am I such a pushover?