I slipped out of the building undetected by the reporters who, since the merger and Aiden’s accident, had become permanent fixtures in my day-to-day. Pulling the front of my hat down a little more, I covered my face, looking up just enough to see where I was going.
The street was filled with cars and people, going about their day, some in a rush to beat the lunch crowd and some casually strolling along the sidewalk. I wondered if any of them were like me … recently married with a child, attempting to maintain a new family while trying to sort out all the rest. A whiff of garlic, onion and spices hit my nose as I stepped past the small pizzeria called Diorios. I wondered how people could work around such strong smells all day, but maybe after an hour or so of work, olfactory fatigue kicked in. Odd how that never happened with Aiden—I never quite adjusted to his scent. As a matter of fact, I missed the overpowering effect of it—the heady feeling that could only be captured when I was wrapped in his arms, a closeness I hadn’t experienced in weeks.
Once I’d made it a safe distance from RPH, I slowed my steps and zeroed in on the spot I hadn’t visited in quite a while. A comforting feeling of familiarity made me smile as I stepped into Grotto. I was lucky enough to grab a booth near the window, and I ordered the same entrée I’d enjoyed over the many years I’d dined at my favorite lunch spot. Here I was, practically a different person, but still gravitating toward the patterns I’d had before I met Aiden. I wanted to be alone, I wanted to pour myself into my job, and I wanted to enjoy the small reprieve of lunch at Grotto. No matter how much I’d changed, there was a part of me that would always be me. I took comfort in that. Even now, with so many things still hitting me at once.
After lunch, I strolled back to RPH, my eyes scanning the sea of people for paparazzi. As I neared the building, I shielded my face with my hat and quickened my pace, once again managing to slide past the unsuspecting reporters. I breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed my way through the revolving glass doors and stepped inside the building.
“How was your lunch?” Andrea asked when I approached her desk.
“It was great. I think I really needed that small break.”
“Remember you have that conference call at 2 o’clock with Alicia Harriet.”
“I’d completely forgotten about that. Can you see if Raina can take that appointment? It’s an issue with editing. I don’t need to be involved with that. Make sure she lets me know how it goes.”
“Yes, ma’am,” she replied, as I walked past her.
Entering my office, my gaze was drawn toward an item that hadn’t been there before lunch. I walked toward the bar and smiled as I took in the beautiful tea set sitting on the table. “Hmm. What’s this all about?”
It was an acid-etched sterling silver Tiffany & Co. tea set. It must have cost a small fortune. I traced my finger over the monogram. A.G.R.—Aria Gabrielle Raine.
I smiled again when I saw a white envelope underneath the edge of the tray. It was from Aiden.
The calming effect of an exotic blend of chai tea and spices. Perfect for those days when I’ve made you want to run away from me. Please don’t ever do that. I love you … now until forever.
—A.
He’d done it again. He’d made my heart smile. He always knew when he screwed up and he always knew how to fix it. Now if I could only teach him how to think before he did or said things he shouldn’t. It would save us both a tremendous amount of upset.
I opened the small silver box near the tea pot and found it was filled with the loose tea mentioned in the note. I was anxious for a cup, so I quickly started the tea and took a seat at my desk to call Aiden.
“Thanks for the tea set,” I said, when he answered. “It’s incredible.”
“I’m glad you like it. Does it help my cause?”
I didn’t reply.
“Not even a little?” he asked.
“Maybe.”
“Good. I’ll take it,” he said.
I couldn’t help but smile, shaking my head at the one person who drove me crazier than any other.
“How’s your day?” he asked.
“Eh. Not bad. I had lunch at Grotto today.”
“Ah. Your hiding spot.”
“No. It’s my go-to place. Can you believe I was able to walk there without being bombarded by those nuisance reporters?”
“I’m glad you had a good afternoon,” he said.
He sounded as if he were in a good mood. It had been a while since he’d called me at work just to talk. I missed this. “How are things there? How was physical therapy?”
“It was … good.”
“Did something happen?” I asked.
“Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Are you sure?” He didn’t sound as dismal as he usually did after an afternoon with Kevin.
“I had a little feeling return in my legs.”
“How can you say that’s nothing out of the ordinary? That’s awesome! I told you it was only a matter of time.”
“Don’t get too excited,” he said. “It was just a twinge.”
“A twinge is better than nothing at all,” I replied.
“I guess.”
“Stop it. I mean it. Let’s take this as a step in the right direction.”
“Yes ma’am,” he said, with a chuckle.
I hoped this meant he was in a better place. His therapy would go much more smoothly if he was in a positive frame of mind.
“Would you like to do something tonight?” I asked.
“I can do the positive thinking thing for you, but I’m drawing the line at being a photo op.”
“Who says we have to go out? I’m tired of dodging reporters, too,” I said. “We can do something at home. Watch a movie. A game of chess. Or we could just lie in bed and snuggle.” I was hoping for the snuggling. I missed being in his arms. I didn’t hold out much hope that he’d say yes, because he’d been purposely avoiding any type of physical contact.
“That sounds good,” he replied. “I miss holding you.”
Another surprise. I was almost too stunned to reply. “I miss being held,” I said.
“Then snuggling it is.”
“Great. I can’t wait. And thanks again for the tea set. I love it.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll see you soon, princess.”
Another positive sign. He called me princess—something he hadn’t done in our recent conversations.
“Okay. I love you,” I said.
“I love you more.”
A huge smile spread over my lips as I disconnected our call. We were going to be okay.
*****
After my talk with Aiden, I wanted the afternoon to hurry to an end. I was worried that if I didn’t get home in time that something would happen to change his mind or his mood. I rushed through as many unfinished items on my check list as possible, surprised I was actually able to concentrate for a change, something I hadn’t been able to do since the accident.
At home later, after dinner, Aiden and I were on the elevator that took us to the third floor of the house. He was still in a great mood. And it was almost like old times. He didn’t even seem to mind my watching him haul himself from the wheel chair into the bed. He was doing really well. I wanted to tell him how proud I was of him for forging through, but I was afraid it would place a damper on his spirits, so I kept that to myself.
“Find a movie for us while I get Lyric,” I said.
“Will do,” Aiden replied.
Once he was seated comfortably in bed, he lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it aside. A good deal of his therapy involved upper body conditioning, and I hadn’t seen the results of those sessions until now. His muscles were more defined than in the past. And the veins of his arms were more prominent.
“What is it?” he asked, looking up at me.
“Nothing,” I replied, tearing my gaze from his chest. “It’s just been so long since I’ve seen you like this.”
“There’s nothing to see here,” he said, with a smile.
I shook my head in awe. “I’m gonna have to disagree.”
His smile shifted, and there was a look of discomfort on his face. I hoped my gawking hadn’t damaged the fragile reprieve from tension.
“Weren’t you about to grab our son?” he asked.
I longed to touch him. Just once. But if his reaction to a simple glance made him uncomfortable, I’d have to wait a little while longer for that to happen. “I’ll be right back,” I said. He was still the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. And he’d really bulked up in the last few weeks. He’d gained back the weight he’d lost and then some. I guess that explained how he so easily maneuvered in and out of that chair.
“So what are we watching?” I asked when I stepped back into the room with a crabby Lyric.
Aiden frowned. “What’s wrong with him?”
Lyric rubbed his eyes and then twisted in my arms, struggling to free himself. “I don’t know. He’s in a mood.”
“This kid,” Aiden said, shaking his head.
“I know. It’s like dealing with you. I never know which Lyric I’m going to come home to,” I said.
Aiden chuckled. “It can’t be as bad as all that.”
I placed the baby on the bed and he crawled to Aiden, crying as he did so.
“You can take him for a ride,” Aiden suggested, as he bounced Lyric on his lap. “At least that’s what I used to do when I could drive.”
I could tell Aiden felt bad about his inability to do things he once did with Lyric. He’d made a similar comment last week and I’d suggested we all go together, but he refused. No matter how much I tried to persuade him to try other things, he wouldn’t.
“Just the thought of not being able to calm my own child. What kind of father can I be to him like this?” Some of the light had gone out of his expression.
“Aiden, don’t say things like that. You had a good day. Let’s not allow this tiny bump in the road to take away from that.” I stepped to the rear of the room for a few of the baby’s toys.
“Where’s his bunny?” Aiden asked.
“Filthy. He’s wiped the floor with that thing,” I said. “And it’s covered with about half of his meals. Dianna is trying to get it clean. I did all I could to it.”
“Why not just get another one?”
“I thought about that, too. But there’s something special about that one. It does look a little worse for the wear, but that’s because it’s his favorite.”
“I suppose you’re right. But if that’s the only thing that can pacify him, we need to grab another one … and a few spares,” Aiden said.
“That may not be a bad idea,” I said and dropped a heap of Lyric’s toys in the middle of the bed. He jumped from Aiden’s arms and started for the pile. “He can be such a handful at times.”
“Why are you giving your mom such a hard time, kid?” Aiden asked.
“He takes after his dad.”
“In that case, I need to tell him when and how to do it for just the right effect,” Aiden joked as his gaze followed Lyric.
I plopped into bed beside them. “Have you ever considered just behaving like a normal person?” I suggested.
He looked at me as if I were clueless. “Who wants normal when they could have a box of chocolates?”
My brow lifted. “Oh, is that what you’ve been giving us?”
“All the time.”
“Is there a refund policy? I want my money back.”
“Nah, Raines don’t do refunds. When you buy in—it’s for life.”
We burst into laughter. It felt good. Really good. We weren’t perfect, but to anyone peering through the door, we were the perfect family. Sitting in bed, playing with our son. Enjoying playful banter as we exchanged loving glances. I needed this night. It wasn’t the same as in the past, but our recent lack of closeness had taken me back to those times I’d been without him. Tonight was a huge step toward closing the distance that had started to grow between us.
*****
As Lyric was winding down, he crawled into his daddy’s lap. Aiden hugged him against his chest. “Do you have any idea how much I love this little guy? How important it is that I can be a father to him in every way?”
“I know. And you are,” I said. I grabbed Lyric’s foot and moved it back and forth.
“That’s still up for question,” Aiden replied.
I was afraid to say anything in either direction. I didn’t want to ruin the night.
“Looks like it’s time for someone’s bedtime story,” Aiden said, looking at a sleepy Lyric.
I snuggled up beside Aiden, resting my head on his shoulder. He kissed Lyric’s curls and then started with the continuation of our son’s custom bedtime story. These were the times I looked forward to—the times that would make for the best memories.
Once the baby had fallen asleep, I carried him off to his nursery and tucked him in. Even he seemed to appreciate the difference in our night. His lips curled up into a wee smile as he dreamt of whatever fascinating things dance in babies’ heads at night.
Aiden was flipping through the channels when I crawled back into bed.
“Find anything good?” I asked.
“Not really. So he didn’t wake up?”
“Nope. He’s in dreamland, smiling in his sleep. I think he enjoyed tonight as much as I did.”
“What about me?” Aiden asked.
“What about you?”
“You and Lyric didn’t corner the market on tonight’s enjoyment. I’ve missed moments like this,” he said, motioning for me to lie on his chest.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked when I’d become quiet.
“You.”
“Boring subject, huh?”
“Never,” I said, placing a kiss on his chest. I was surprised he’d allowed this level of closeness. I wanted to hold onto every second of it.
“So what about me?” he asked.
“Just you,” I said.
“That could mean any number of things.”
“True,” I said, with a laugh.
“So, are you going to tell me or do I have to guess?”
“I was thinking of the first time I saw you.”
“Oh, you mean when I could walk?”
I looked up at Aiden. “Stop it. No crazy talk tonight, remember? You’ll walk again. You have to believe that.”
“Do you believe it?” he asked, his dark green eyes questioning mine.
“Of course I do. You’re not the kind of man who will let anything best you.”
“In most cases, that’s true.”
“In all cases. Including this.” It was a shock to see Aiden show any signs of vulnerability or self-doubt. That just wasn’t who he was.
He hugged me tighter against his chest and I breathed him in, saying nothing as we rested in the quietness of the moment.
“I should have listened to you about Nadia,” he said, breaking his silence.
“Nothing we can do about it now.”
“There’s a lot I can do about it. I’ll make sure she stays behind bars where she belongs.”
“That’s where she should have been all along. When I think about all she’s cost us, I could kill her. I could literally kill her. There were days when I sat in the hospital and imagined how I’d do it. I wanted her to suffer, and I wanted it to be at my hands.”
“I don’t feel anything about it. Well, that’s not entirely true. I feel the same as you. She tried to take you away from me. Away from our son. That wipes away any guilt or regret I ever felt over my relationship with her.”
“I’m glad.”
“This is my fault,” he said. “It goes back farther than the treatment center, farther than the night of the gala when I’d had sex with her.”
“What are you saying?”
“That I never should have conformed to my parents’ values.”
Of course, I might never have met Aiden if he hadn’t done that—had he not invented a second identity.
“You know, this situation serves as yet another reminder of why I have to be a better parent to Lyric than my father was to me. I know Lyric will make mistakes, and I will also in raising him, but he’ll never have to be someone he doesn’t choose to be.”
I was relieved to hear him speak of the future—to not dwell on the misfortune of his current condition.
“I kick my ass every day,” Aiden said. “I open my eyes each morning and I’m immediately reminded of the fact that I can’t walk. That I played a part in this outcome.”
“Don’t say that. This is all Nadia. It has nothing to do with you. She’s obsessed, and I actually think any number of things could have flipped her crazy switch. If it hadn’t been you or the abortion, it would have been something else. She had mental issues that stemmed farther back than you.”
Aiden kissed my hair. “I know. I realize that now.”
“Good,” I said. I was relieved that at the very least, he wouldn’t carry that guilt around with him anymore. He’d tried to help a person he considered a friend. A person he thought he’d somehow wronged, but when someone is suffering from mental issues, no one is to blame for what is already chemically there. And that was the case for Nadia. Did that make me feel less violent towards her? No. She’d taken away something from Aiden and me—something we’d never get back.