CHAPTER 14
BY THE TIME NICOLE CRACKED open her eyes, the clock on her bedside was blinking 9:03 . . . a.m. She’d slept through the evening, night, and morning. Dammit! I can’t believe I did this again. Rayna’s bus was long gone. The way the Chatham’s luck was going, it was more likely the Department of Children and Family Services would end up at their front door. And Davis? What happened at the meeting?
Nicole was groggy, thirsty, and thankful that someone had left a bottled water next to her bed. She downed it. For several moments, she sat perfectly still, afraid to move. Her head was pounding, her body ached, and her stomach was nauseous. She closed her eyes, inhaling as much air as her lungs would accept, then expelled it in long exaggerated breaths. She had to repeat that several times over before Nicole felt like she might be able to function. Once she figured it was safe to stand on her own two feet, she moved as fast as she could to get out of bed, which was at a snail’s pace. She berated herself. Dammit, Nicole. You’ve got to get your shit together. Thoughts of the previous evening came rushing back. She had missed a critical meeting, the entire night with her kids, and now Rayna’s bus this morning. Nicole hadn’t seen DJ since Teena had taken him outside to play yesterday afternoon. It seemed like, ever since her accident, things in her life had been moving in a downward spiral.
Nicole owed the biggest apology to Davis. He had probably left for work hours ago so it would have to wait. No matter what was going on in their marriage, he deserved her support, and she had missed the opportunity to find out what all the lawyers and PR people suggested that she be doing. Nicole had never felt more inept as a wife than she did right now. For all her ranting and raving about Davis keeping her in the dark, she had left him alone to deal with this problem. She mentally made a promise to him and herself. That will never happen again.
Nicole put on her robe and brushed her teeth to get the horrible taste out of her mouth. She would call Davis and begin to try to make things right, but her first priority of the morning was to find DJ.
It didn’t take long. Her son was sitting in his booster chair in the kitchen having breakfast with Teena. He saw her and immediately smiled, clapping his hands together. “Mom!” She walked up to him and kissed the top of his head. “Hey there, honey.” Nicole eased down into a chair beside him. Her head was still killing her, and, if there were anything in her stomach, it probably wouldn’t be there for long. In a word, Nicole felt awful.
Teena turned concerned eyes to her. “Mrs. Chatham, can I get something for you?”
“My stomach is a little upset. I hate to ask but maybe a seltzer water and ibuprofen.” Nicole didn’t want to admit it, not even to herself, but the Oxycodone had done a number on her. Maybe Dana was right. She had been taking them too long, and it was starting to affect her body differently. It was probably past time to leave them alone and figure out another way to manage her pain . . . all her pain.
Teena smiled. “Sure thing.”
Nicole attempted to engage her son, but she was just in too uncomfortable. Tears sprang to her eyes as she propped her elbows up on the table and rested her face into the palms of her hands. That was the exact moment Davis walked into the kitchen.
His throat closed up as he saw his wife in obvious distress. He’d caused it. All this madness was his fault. No matter what happened, Davis was making preparations to ensure his family would be fine . . . with or without him.
He cleared his throat. Slowly, Nicole looked up. Davis took a seat opposite her. “Are you feeling better?”
Her head was pounding. It hurt to talk. “Why are you home and not at work?” Her words came out harsher than she’d intended. Teena placed the medicine and a glass of seltzer water in front of her.
“You had a rough night. I wanted to be here when you woke up, and I figured I could work from home.” He watched her as she took medicine.
“Oh.” Her voice softened. “You didn’t have to do that, but thank you.” Nicole sighed. “I still have an upset stomach, a headache, along with the usual aches and pains.”
“Are you sure it’s not . . .” Davis paused. “Nicole, I hate that this situation is making you sick.”
She hissed. “I’m not some shrinking violet, Davis. I can handle whatever comes our way. IF you would only let me. You can’t protect me from life! Yesterday, I was already feeling off. I’m sick. That’s it. I just don’t feel well.”
“It’s not my goal to upset you. Maybe you should make an appointment with the physician?”
“Stop babying me. I’m not your dead sister, Rayna! Every time someone gets sick, it doesn’t mean they are going to die or need a doctor’s appointment!” She couldn’t believe the words that came out of her mouth.
Davis paled, then his face hardened.
“Davis . . . I . . . ” Nicole placed her hand on top of his, and he snatched it away. His face hardened.
“I would think my wife would be happy that I actually give a shit about how she’s feeling!” His chair scraped the kitchen floor then fell over backward as he stood and stalked out of the room.
Shocked, Teena stood back in silence. Fortunately, DJ couldn’t understand all the words, but he understood enough, and he looked bewildered.
Nicole pressed her lips together. Then spoke softly. “I’m sorry you had to witness that, Teena. I apologize to you and should go and apologize to Davis.” Nicole stood to get up and the room tilted. She was going to vomit. She ran into the bathroom and made it just in time, emptying her stomach of all the liquids she consumed. When there was nothing left to purge, and the dry heaving stopped, Nicole sat on the floor basically hugging the bowl. Her apology to Davis would have to wait.
The rest of the day didn’t get any better. Nicole spent it in bed tossing and turning. The ibuprofen wasn’t helping. She hoped a hot shower might. She was so uncomfortable that the water on her face wasn’t just from the shower but from her own tears as she cried like a baby.
She finished her shower and put on her terrycloth robe. It had helped her feel a little better but not much. As she walked out of her bathroom, Nicole had had enough and couldn’t take it anymore. It was as if she were having an outer body experience as she glanced around her room. Her eyes darted from her bed to her purse that was sitting on the dresser. Sleep this off, Nicole. Like a zombie, she started walking. She ended up standing in front of her dresser, reaching inside her purse for the bottle. I’ll just take one more to get over the hump. This will be the last one. Nicole popped it into her mouth and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She hated what she saw. Her thick curls were wet and plastered to her head, but her eyes were those of a stranger. Notwithstanding the dark circles, they looked tired and haunted. Nicole closed them, so she didn’t have to see her reflection, then turned away from the mirror. She walked over to the bed and picked up the water bottle, swallowing the pills. Nicole got in bed and pulled the covers over her head in an attempt to hide from herself and her shame. The day ended just like it started—shitty.
Hours later, she woke when the clock clicked to 1:03 a.m. However, Nicole wasn’t in bed alone—DJ was curled into the crook of her arms, and Rayna occupied the space on the other side of him. They had snuggled as close as they could get. She had no idea how or when they got in bed with her. One person missing was Davis. His side of the bed was cold and empty. Her behavior had driven him not even to want to be in the same room with her. Nicole was turning her biggest fear into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She finally admitted that she was struggling. Even now, she wanted to take more pills. Somehow, she had to fix her problem without causing too much of a distraction. Davis was already dealing with enough and having a drug addict as a wife splashed across the papers, and social media wasn’t fair to him. What am I going to do? How did I let things get this far? There weren’t any immediate answers to her questions, and she wasn’t going to get them at this hour of the night. So, she did the only thing she could to cleanse her soul, Nicole shut her eyes and cried.