CHAPTER 21

It was Monday. It was 6:00 p.m. Everything was all set and ready to begin. Only Davis hadn’t arrived. Nicole paced back and forth wringing her hands. “He’s not coming.”

“From all that you’ve told me, Davis doesn’t sound like a man whose word can’t be trusted.” Dr. Carmen glanced at her cell phone to check the time. “He’s only a few minutes late. Let’s give him a few more minutes.”

Nicole was just about to sit down when the doors opened, and an assistant ushered Davis into the tiny little room. Nicole froze. Her eyes became glassy as she drank in the sight of him, and he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her either.

Davis seemed to have the same expression in his own eyes.

Dr. Carmen looked from one to the other. “Please come inside and have a seat.”

He moved to take off his suit jacket. “Sorry, I’m late. I was stuck in traffic.” Davis didn’t know what the proper protocol was. Was he supposed to kiss her? Could he touch her? He didn’t do either, but his eyes never left hers. “Hello, Nicole.”

Her breath had been snatched out of her body, and all she wanted was to be wrapped in the strength of his arms. However, Nicole remained calm. “Hi.”

“Okay, please. Both of you, have a seat and we can begin.” Davis and Nicole followed Dr. Carmen’s instructions. “Mr. Chatham, I am not sure how much you are aware of Nicole’s recovery process, but a big part of it is intensive therapy. At Serenity, we like to help our clients find the root cause of their pain. If we can do that, then we can teach them healthy alternative coping mechanisms.”

He nodded. “Serenity came highly recommended, so that is good to hear.”

“Great. Then let’s get started.” Dr. Carmen turned to Nicole. “Last week, in one of our sessions, you mentioned a few things that we believe might be triggers. Why don’t you tell Davis about that conversation?”

Nicole felt awkward as she thought. . . Really, Dr. Carmen? No warm up? We’re just going to dive right on in after months of being separated? “Well . . . Davis . . . um . . . I guess I should begin by saying that I’m sorry. The words feel inadequate, but I mean that sincerely.” Nicole took her time as she struggled to find the right thing to say. “When Dr. Carmen and I talked last week, I realized that I wrongly equated your absence during our marriage as abandonment.”

“Abandonment? Seriously? Is that what you call a man working hard to provide his family with the best life possible all while trying to prevent a personal and financial disaster? You live in a mansion with every possible luxury; you have cars and money. There was nothing I wouldn’t have given you.”

“No! That’s not what I meant. It was never about material things, Davis! What I was trying to say was . . .”

Davis cut her off. “I might have worked long hours, but I was never absent. I brought my ass home every night. I never betrayed you or my family.” The unvarnished anger he had been trying to hide was petering on the edge of release.

Her own anger threatened to surface. “Yes, you came home, but late almost every night! That doesn’t negate the fact that I was alone in this marriage most of the time. I felt like a single parent managing our family.”

“You managed because you wanted to manage. You could have easily have hired help.”

“Why should I have hired help when Rayna and DJ have a father? Just throw money at the problem. Is that your answer to everything?”

“If that were the case, we wouldn’t be here. So, don’t blame your drug habit on me or on me not being available for you.”

Nicole’s face turned ashen. “My . . . addiction . . . is no one’s fault but my own. I accept full responsibility for it.”

Davis didn’t mean for the words to come out of his mouth, but they had.

Dr. Carmen watched the exchange between them before she intervened. “I think what Nicole was initially trying to say was that before your marriage, she had wounds of abandonment that hadn’t fully healed. In an effort to soothe the ache, it was important for her to create the family she never had—with you. When it didn’t materialize the way she envisioned . . . the pain it caused her wasn’t solely from your absence but due in part to being shuttled between foster home after foster home. Davis, let me ask you a question. Running Chatham Industries must be extremely demanding. However, from what I’ve read about the company, why didn’t you delegate more to your executive team so that you could spend more time with your family? Why was it so important that you physically be there?”

Davis squeezed the armrest until his knuckles were white. “I’ve always believed no one should work harder than the owner of his or her own business.”

“True. But at what cost? Wasn’t that the reason your first marriage ended?”

His lips tightened. “My first marriage had more problems than just me working long hours.”

Dr. Carmen nodded then scribbled more notes down on her pad. “Understood. Let’s move on a little bit. We’ll revisit that later. Tell me about your sister, Rayna. The one who you named your daughter after.”

Davis was more than uncomfortable with her line of questioning. “I thought this session was about Nicole?”

“It is.”

“Then why are all the questions directed at me?”

“I apologize if it feels that way, but we are really just getting started. I’ve already heard a lot from the perspective of Nicole. It will help me better identify how to help her if I can understand her family dynamic but from your perspective. With that being said, I know this topic might be a little sensitive to you, but can you tell me about her?”

Davis turned glacial. His face hardened. “I do not see how that is relevant.”

“Possible motivations for our behavior is always relevant, Mr. Chatham. Please, I know this might be difficult, and it’s not a subject you discuss often, but can you talk about her?”

The tension in the air was so thick, Nicole needed more than a knife to cut it. She needed a machete. She also didn’t think Davis was going to answer. However, he did.

“My parents didn’t have money or insurance. We lived in a shitty apartment, and she died because of it. It’s not a long story.”

“Do you think you might equate being poor with having control over your life and those you love?”

He used his thumb to scratch above his eyebrow. “It could be possible. Unfortunately, I don’t have the luxury to really analyze it. If you are not aware, I have more important matters to deal with.”

“Like what?”

“For one, praying that my children can get their mother back—healthy—keeping my ass out of jail, and saving my business. My plate is kind of full.”

“What about your marriage?”

“What about it?”

“You didn’t mention it. Is it not on your list of priorities?”

Nicole held her breath.

Davis wouldn’t look at her. “My marriage is more than I can deal with right now.”

“Hmm . . . that’s interesting.” Dr. Carmen made another note.

Nicole wanted to shove that pen up her butt until she asked the one question, she both wanted to know and didn’t want to know the answer to.

“Do you still love her?”

Could she be even less impersonal in asking the question that could destroy my life? Nicole wondered as she held her breath and awaited his answer.

Davis rolled his head around his shoulders. He expelled a long-exaggerated breath. His words were strained. “I’ve thought about that question a lot lately.” Davis dropped his head, and his chin rested on his chest. He spoke quietly. “Yes. I do still love her. Nicole is . . . the love of my life.”

“Why don’t you tell her that?”

“Because I can’t. Not right now.” Davis just didn’t have the capacity to do any more than he already had.

“Then if you can’t tell her that you love her, tell her what you are feeling.”

Slowly, Davis raised his eyes and looked in her direction. “There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you . . . even when I thought you might be having an affair with Roman.”

“Davis, I’m so sorry. I-I . . .”

He cleared his throat. “The bottom line, Nicole, is that I am still dealing with that night and trying to process it all. I know the blame doesn’t rest completely on your shoulders. I honestly don’t blame you for coping the best way you knew how. But I’m still angry. I’m still devastated, and I need time.”

She held her body rigid to keep from falling apart. She responded in a barely-there whisper. “Thank you for telling me that. If it helps, I haven’t forgiven myself for that night either.”

Dr. Carmen felt if they continued down this path, there might be hope. She broke the silence in the room. “Today was a good start. Honesty can be painful but is always good. Time can heal a multitude of issues but not without a lot of communication. Davis, thank you for coming and making yourself emotionally available to help Nicole.”

Was that it? The session was over? Her eyes darted to his. He basically just told her that he loved her but didn’t have time to and didn’t want to deal with their marriage right now. Was Dr. Carmen going to introduce a plan to help them? “What do we do now?”

Davis sounded tired, exhausted. “Right. What’s next?”

“Well, Nicole has a little more than a month before she can be released, but we’re making progress. I would like to sit down with you both again next week.”

Davis groaned.

Dr. Carmen continued. “The good news is that I’m approving limited visits with you and if that goes well, maybe we can approve time with the kids. I think it might be helpful. As a matter of fact . . .” She stood. “Since we’re done here for today.” She looked at Davis and Nicole. “Would you like a few minutes to be alone?”

Nicole was hopeful. “If it’s okay with Davis, I would like that very much.”

Davis was feeling ripped open and apart. He stood too making more of an effort than necessary to put on his jacket. Anything not to look at Nicole. “I’ve got to get home to DJ and Rayna. Maybe another time.”