Chapter Eighteen
The car was waiting for me when I got downstairs. It wasn’t the usual black generic company car that Norma used on occasion. It was rich and expensive looking. More plush. Had to belong to Hudson Pierce.
Which meant she’d involved him in my drama. Great. How awesome to have random important people know that no matter how strong I appeared on the outside, I was really just a punching bag.
Despite my humiliation, I managed to smile at the driver—a middle-aged white guy with an overzealous moustache and a full head of brown hair. He was new too. His Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts were definitely not standard uniform. For some reason, the change in routine made me feel even more off-balance.
I climbed into the backseat with a sigh.
Luckily, after he told me where we were headed—to a coffee shop near Pierce Industries—Mr. Moustache didn’t try to chat me up. I was grateful. I needed the quiet. I needed peace. What I really needed was a tumbler of bourbon and a few hours of mindless television, but since that wasn’t happening anytime soon, I’d take the silence.
My mind was overactive, though, and wouldn’t let me rest. Combined with the storm of emotions going on inside me, I felt like a volatile mess. If only JC’s farewell hadn’t been so cryptic, I wouldn’t feel so unsettled. He said he was leaving, and I believed him. But did he really not know when he’d return, or was that a bluff to get me to agree to his ridiculous proposal?
When he’d said it, I’d been mad. Mad that he’d planned to abandon me. Then mad that he wanted to take me away from my life. After that, Norma had called, and I had to leave and it was only now that I was really realizing that he might actually be leaving me. That his invitation to join him at the airport might be my last chance to be with him.
But why on earth would that be true? He acted like he didn’t have a say in when he returned to New York City. Did he have a project that had gone awry? Something that would require more of his time and attention? If that was the case, then why did he want to marry me first? So that I’d be tied to him?
The longer we drove, the heavier the ball of dread in my stomach became. The more I believed that JC was actually in trouble. He had to be. It was the only thing that made sense. Was the trouble so bad that he had to run? Did he think that if I knew what it was that I’d not love him anymore? Was that why he wanted to make sure I said I do before he told me what the situation was?
Regret began to creep in. I should have told him that I didn’t care what he’d done. I should have told him that I’d never judge him for his past. He’d been so amazing about letting me feel loved no matter what. I obviously hadn’t done the same.
Why the hell hadn’t I done the same?
And was it too late to try?
I tried to check my phone for the time but found it dead. I’d left the hotel around ten. It couldn’t be any later than ten-fifteen. If I told the driver to go to the airport right now, I’d make it with plenty of time. He’d probably say no. He got his orders from Norma, not me. But maybe, as soon as I hopped out, I could hail a cab and head straight there. Did I dare bail on my sister like that?
I did dare. Norma and the charges against my father could wait. So I’d inconvenience a police officer. That didn’t really bother me too much. I wouldn’t have felt the same urgency only six months before, but I was a different person now. A person who cared enough about her happiness to try to do something about it. If this was my only shot with JC, I had to take it. I had to give him another chance to open up to me.
I prepared myself mentally for the rest of the ride, and as we approached Pierce Industries, I was already looking for a place I could hail a cab.
Except, the car stopped at Pierce Industries and not at the coffee shop down the block. And not just at Pierce Industries, but in the valet section of the garage. Before I asked, the driver explained as he handed his keys over. “There’s no parking at the shop, so we’ll walk from here.”
We’ll walk? He was coming with me? Why wasn’t he just dropping me off and leaving?
I got out of the car, confused, and followed the driver out to the sidewalk.
“It’s at the end of the block to the right.” Ah! Maybe he is leaving me. “I’ll let you lead the way.”
Or maybe not.
I took a few tentative steps toward the coffee shop to see if he would follow, all the while keeping my eyes peeled for a taxi. When I was certain he was coming too, I turned back to him. “I can get there from here by myself, thank you. I appreciate you taking me this far.”
“I apologize, Ms. Anders, but I’ve been instructed to escort you directly to your sister.”
My body went rigid. “Have I done something wrong? Am I in trouble?”
“Nah. Nothing like that.” His eyes scanned everywhere, I realized, without his head moving an inch. “Your sister’s concerned for your safety, that’s all.”
If my levelheaded sister was concerned for my safety, then there was something I didn’t know about going on. Something serious.
I stopped looking for a cab.
Norma was easy to spot inside the coffee shop. She was sitting with three men—one in a police uniform, one I didn’t recognize, and another with his back to me. Despite what my driver—not only my driver, it seemed, but also security detail—had said, I was still cautious as I walked over to join her. He let me go alone, getting in line to get something at the register. It was nice to have my space, but even though my sister hadn’t seen me yet, I no longer had any inclination to go anywhere but directly to her.
“Hey,” I said, when I reached their table. Then, when I saw the face of the third man, I screamed.
He shot up out of his chair and pulled me into his arms. “Hey yourself, big sister.”
Ben, Ben. I nuzzled into his shirt and held onto him with my life. Held onto him tight enough to hide any wayward tears. So many things I wanted to say, but no words came. I thought them extra hard, hoping he’d hear them anyway. I’ve missed you. I love you. I’m so glad you’re here. Why are you here?
“Good to see you too,” he said as he held me. Eventually, when the others behind us started to seem restless, I forced myself to pull away. “You look like shit, by the way.”
“Gee, thanks,” I said, pretending to be shocked. “What are you doing here, anyway?” As overjoyed as I was to see him, I was also afraid that his presence meant there was more that I didn’t know was going on.
“I’ll get there. Gwen, this is Eric.” He nodded to the other plain clothed man. Eric was everything my brother wasn’t. He was tall where Ben was on the shorter side, bulky where Ben was thin, light haired where Ben was dark.
“He’s cute,” I whispered to Ben before bending forward to take Eric’s hand.
“This will have to do since I’m trapped behind the table,” Eric said, “but later I’m going to have to give you a big hug.”
Normally, I’d be hesitant about anyone who thought they were good enough for my brother. Eric was different. He’d gotten my brother through a rough time which earned him points right away, and now, in person, I could instantly tell he was both a protector and a teddy bear.
Good for Ben.
“Gwen, if you don’t mind, we don’t want to waste the officer’s time.” Norma smiled up at me, but it didn’t feel very welcoming. That phrase “smile didn’t meet her eyes” came to mind. Her eyes were not shining. Her eyes were serious.
I swallowed, remembering the somberness of the situation, and sat down in the empty chair with a nod. I suddenly wished I’d ordered a coffee first. I had a feeling I needed energy for this conversation.
Norma must have seen me eyeing her latte. She passed it over to me as she said, “This is Officer Taylor. He’s handling the case with Dad.”
“Hi. And thank you.” I took a swallow of the too sweet beverage. At least it wet my dry throat. When I set the drink down, I found everybody’s eyes on me.
A chill ran down my spine as a thought suddenly occurred to me. “You didn’t confront him already, did you?” If the cops had talked to him, he’d be pissed. Maybe he’d threatened me. Was that why I had the security dude? Had Ben come because of that? Was this why everyone was so anxious about my arrival?
As irrational as it may have been, the thought of angering my father set me into full-fear mode. My hands felt clammy and my stomach churned. I wanted to believe that I was safe. He was on parole, after all. He was in a halfway house. Yet, he’d managed to hit me once already.
Norma put a comforting hand on my knee. “He’s not going to hurt you, Gwen. Do you hear me?”
I searched her face, but I wasn’t comforted. She was worried and that worried me. I turned to the officer. “What did he say? I need to know.” I shifted my eyes to Ben. “And what does it have to do with you being here?”
Ben nudged me with his elbow. “My being here had nothing to do with any of this, but all of this does make me glad that I happened to come when I did. Now let the cop talk before Norma gets her panties in a wad.”
I glanced over at Norma in time to see her scowl. “Okay,” I conceded. “But you’re filling me in on everything later.” I returned my attention to Officer Taylor.
“Go ahead,” Norma said to him, as if giving permission to talk. Though, from the expression on his face, I was pretty sure he didn’t care whether she permitted him or not.
I liked him already.
“We haven’t actually spoken to William Anders yet,” Officer Taylor said. “We would have, after you filed your report. Or his parole officer would have. But he never came back to his house last night.”
“What does that mean?” Every hair stood up on my body in rigid fear, but I had to be sure I understood what I was hearing. I wanted it spelled out.
Now Officer Taylor glanced at Norma before answering. “It’s a violation of his parole. With the assault charge you’re filing now, in addition to his attempt at extortion, this is enough to see him incarcerated again.”
Ben sat forward in his chair. “I’ll tell you what it means—it means he’s on-the-run. He realized he fucked up with you yesterday, and he’s too scared to go back and face the consequences. It means no one is monitoring him. It means the asshole is free.”
“It means we aren’t safe,” Norma added.
Well. I’d wanted it spelled out and I got it. I took another swallow of her latte, wishing it were something stronger. Wishing I were someone stronger.
I placed a hand over the one Norma still had on my knee and squeezed. She’s overreacting, I told myself. She’s being precautious. We’re still safe. I’m still safe.
But I knew the truth was exactly opposite. She wasn’t the type to overreact. I could even imagine the source of the looks between her and the cop. She’d probably told him not to scare me. To keep his details short and concise. She’d either neglected to lecture Ben the same way or he’d ignored her.
I ran my free hand back and forth across my throat, needing something to do with my fingers, and asked the hard question. “You think he’ll come looking for me again, don’t you?”
“It’s hard to say,” Officer Taylor said. “He came looking for you once, and that makes us more likely to believe he’d come for you again. Especially since he didn’t leave with what he wanted.”
I nodded. God, I felt like a bobblehead with all the nodding I was doing, but it was easier than saying the equivalent words. Easier than saying, I understand what you’re getting at. Easier than acknowledging verbally that I was in full agreement that my father would very possibly come after me again.
A sob caught in the back of my throat. The boogieman of my youth was real and alive and dangerous. How could I not be scared to tears?
And Ben! He had to be as frightened as I was. He’d been even more tormented by my father.
I reached out to take his arm. “You shouldn’t be in town right now.” Ironic that I’d been the one that had wanted him to come to New York so desperately, and now I was telling him to leave.
Ben patted my hand. “It’s scary as all hell, isn’t it? But I’m good. Trust me.”
Behind him, I saw my driver take a seat a couple of tables away. He barely glanced at us. Was he watching all of us, I wondered? Would that be how we lived now? Covertly watched over by strangers hired by my sister?
I didn’t like the idea. Ben was being strong, though, so I decided I needed to be tougher too. I sat up straighter, forcing myself to appear as brave as I wanted to be, refusing to let fear paralyze me. Not like it had in my childhood. “Why is he being so stupid, anyway? I don’t get it. He wasn’t ever a criminal. He beat his kids. He didn’t steal or blackmail. He wasn’t a guy who went ‘on-the-run’.”
“As I explained to your brother and sister before you arrived, prison changes people, Ms. Anders,” Officer Taylor said, patiently. “And fellow inmates aren’t always very kind to child abusers. Your father wouldn’t have had an easy time in there. It seems he developed a drug habit, as well. Crack, I’m guessing. That’s not uncommon, and, the strange thing for many of these addicts is that being released becomes more of a burden than a blessing. Their main concern is where to get their next score and they have no contacts, no money, no place to go back and crash afterward.”
My father’s a crack addict. Great. Should I have been able to tell that when I’d seen him? Had he been shaky? His eyes dilated?
Guilt rattled through me. Guilt—of all things. How fucked up was it that I felt like this was our fault? Like, if we hadn’t put him jail, he wouldn’t be so messed up. If we hadn’t put him in jail, he wouldn’t be a threat to me today.
They were bullshit responses, but I couldn’t help feeling them. I hated the part of me that cared at all that my father suffered. I hated that I wondered why Ben couldn’t just stick it out like I had. Hated that I even thought for a second that my peace of mind now should be any more valuable than my brother’s safety was then.
I couldn’t look at him.
Norma leaned in. “Whatever you’re thinking right now, Gwen, it’s natural. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
Easier said than done. She didn’t know what I was thinking.
As if to remind me what a monster my father was, my face started to throb right then. Remember this pain, it told me. Ben went through this and more. Your father deserves to be a mess.
Hateful words were no more encouraging than guilty ones. I took my hand from Norma’s and crossed a leg over the other. “So what happens now?”
I’d addressed the question to everyone, but it was Office Taylor that answered. “We obviously want to get him where we know he’s going to be. Right now, that’s at the club tomorrow morning. We’ve already contacted the owner and the general manager and plan to have a team waiting for him when he shows up.”
“Will I need to be there?” I stopped breathing while I waited to be told whether I was going to be bait or not.
Thankfully, the officer shook his head. “We don’t think so. We’d prefer that you aren’t, actually.”
I sighed audibly. “Okay. I prefer that too.”
Norma smiled reassuringly. “Matt already said you could take as much time off as you need. He completely understands.”
“Thanks. I’ll think about that.” Really, I couldn’t think about anything anymore. My thoughts were a buzz like a radio dial not quite set on a station. For the rest of the interview, while Officer Taylor took down my report, while he photographed my face, while he dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s, I buzzed. Anything that floated across my mind was lost to the interference. Nothing took hold. Nothing touched me.
I had no idea how much later it was when Officer Taylor made his farewell and Norma and I sat alone with our brother and his boyfriend. At some point, someone had gotten me my own coffee—Eric, maybe—and I warmed my hands around it now. Strange how cold I felt when the shop was stuffy and stifling.
Norma sat back in her seat and studied me for several seconds. Finally she said, “Do me a favor, will you? Take a deep breath. This part is over. Let it go.”
I was tempted to argue with her—I needed my tension; it made me feel safe—but my shoulders were beginning to hurt and my jaw had locked from clenching. Maybe trying to relax wasn’t such a bad idea.
Somewhat grudgingly, I inhaled and then exhaled. I did it again. After the third time, I actually felt a little less stressed. I rolled my neck from side to side and shook out my arms.
“Better?”
“Yes. Thank you. I needed that.”
“I know.” She turned to Ben. “How about you? How are you holding up?”
A glance at my brother said that the day hadn’t been a picnic for him either. “I don’t know,” he said. “I really thought when we did this ten years ago that it was going to be the end.”
“We all did.” Norma’s voice sounded tired, and I realized in that moment that even though she’d missed living with the worst of our father, she’d been fighting him most her life just the same. For us. I was amazed she wasn’t more exhausted.
Ben shifted in his seat a few times, and I recognized the awkwardness of hard emotions. Ones that were heavy and difficult to carry, let alone talk about. “It’s not fair,” he said finally, his jaw working. “It’s not fair that he still gets to make us scared.”
Eric offered his hand and Ben took it, gripping his fingers around his boyfriend’s tightly.
“I’m okay.” Ben’s reassurance was directed to Eric, but I suspected it was for all of us. “Really. Just pissed. Which is much better than feeling ashamed and scared. Trust me.”
I didn’t need to trust him. I knew firsthand that shame and fear felt pretty damn shitty. I was feeling that way right then.
“Can we be done with Dad? And now can you please tell me what you’re both doing here?”
Ben and Eric exchanged a look I couldn’t read. “Well,” Ben said. “Eric and I have been talking about coming out here for a while now. In my therapy, after the hospital, I realized that I’d been pushing away all reminders of the past, thinking that was the way to get over things. It wasn’t, of course. Because the past will always be and I can’t change it and I need to learn to accept it, yada yada, mumbo jumbo psychology stuff. But the other part of that is, when I kept things away that I considered reminders, I really was shutting out the things that made me strongest. You guys, for one. This city is another. Meaningful relationships.” He smiled at Eric at the last one. “So instead of trying to hide the painful things, I’m working on facing them and living with them. It’s really made me a different person.”
“That’s amazing, Ben. I can tell, and I’m so glad. And I’m really glad that you decided to visit, even though I think you have terrible timing.”
Ben let go of Eric’s hand and put his arm around the back of his chair. “We were actually planning to come out next month, but when Norma called yesterday, I wanted to be here now. And we’re not visiting—we’re looking for a place to live.”
“You’re moving here?” I couldn’t have been more surprised if he’d said he was pregnant. “Both of you? But why? I mean, yay! But I’m so confused.”
Ben laughed. “I know. It’s quite a one-eighty. But I’m telling you, I’m different. I’m not letting Dad scare me away anymore. I’ve wasted too much time away from my family. From both of you. I want to be here. I need to be here. Now that Dad’s being an extra special dickwad, I need to be here more. We need to stick together. We work best that way.”
I nodded, again with the bobblehead, but this time not saying anything because I was too happy.
“Anyway,” Ben went on, “Eric’s company is based out of New York, and he can get an easy transfer. I haven’t had a job since I took my leave from the movie theater. When Norma offered to help us out, it felt like a good time to come.”
I turned to Norma. “You knew about this?”
She shrugged. “We’d talked a little about it. He wanted it to be a surprise.”
“It’s a really good surprise.” The best surprise. I beamed, not caring about the pain from my cheek.
“Enough about me,” said Ben, which was funny since we’d barely discussed him. “I want to know about you and this guy you’re seeing.”
The mention of JC brought a new wave of emotions on as I suddenly remembered where I’d left things with him.
“What’s wrong?” Norma asked, reading me as she always did. “Are things not going well?”
I took a moment to answer. I’d been so desperate to go after him earlier. Then I’d forgotten it all while I dealt with the more urgent situation regarding my father. Then there was the distraction that Ben’s arrival had provided. It wasn’t even noon and I’d already been on a rollercoaster of emotions.
Having had a little time away from the morning with JC, I now had some perspective. Perhaps I’d been too dramatic about it.
“Well,” I said, trying to decide how to sum everything up. “Things are strange, right now. Actually, most of it’s pretty fucking amazing. We just said we loved each other. And he took care of me all night after, well, after the Dad thing. JC was really sweet.” I took a sip of my drink, hoping to hide the blush that had crept up as I’d talked.
“That’s fabulous!” Ben said.
At the same time, Norma said, “I had a feeling he’d come around.”
“Yeah, he came around all right. And it was fabulous. But then he ruined it this morning. He proposed.”
Norma perked up, but it was Ben who really reacted. “As in marriage? Get out of town.”
“Yep. Wants to go to Vegas and tie the knot. Tonight.” Telling it to my siblings this way, leaving out the strange parts like the phone call he’d received and his desperate behavior made the whole thing seem ridiculous again.
Or maybe I wanted it to sound ridiculous so that was how I told it. Because I really didn’t want to feel like I’d made the wrong choice.
“Are you going to go?” This came from Norma.
“No! I’m more levelheaded than that. Give me some credit. I don’t even know his full name. I really don’t even know his first name.” Excuses, excuses, excuses. I recognized that I was making them. I wondered if Norma saw through these as easily as she saw through every other part of me.
“Anyway.” I picked at the sleeve on my coffee cup. “When I left, he said he was heading to the airport and that he hoped I’d join him. He was so final about his goodbye. Like, if I don’t marry him then it’s over. Which if that’s the case, I definitely don’t want to marry him. But also, if that’s the case, I’m really going to be sad.” My bravado faltered at the end, and I bit my lip to keep from getting any more emotional about it.
I waited for Ben to console me or Norma to lecture me or give me whatever it was that I deserved. I wasn’t quite sure what it was. Maybe nothing. Maybe I deserved nothing at all.
I’d shredded most of the coffee sleeve when Norma finally asked, “He’s headed to Vegas now?”
“Yeah.”
Norma sat back in her chair. “You should go.”
“I agree,” Ben piped in.
My head flipped up. “I should marry him?”
“No.” Norma said at the same time Ben said, “Why not?”
Norma considered. “Well, if you want to. But I meant you should go to Vegas. Join him. Be with him. He obviously needs you. And, right now, I’d be happier if you were out of town. Might as well go and work all this out with him. Forget about everything here. Get to know the guy. If you end up getting married, hey, that’s fine too.”
“I so appreciate how cavalier you are with the rest of my life.” I said it sarcastically, but really, I kind of did appreciate it.
She sat forward and leaned her forearm on the table. “I’m being anything but cavalier about your life. I’m trying to keep you safe from a man who has hurt you over and over. JC, on the other hand, has done nothing but good for you as far as I’ve seen. If you said it was what you wanted, I’d approve a future with him in a heartbeat.”
I gaped. When I realized it, I shut my mouth, but continued to stare at her incredulously. This was not like my sister. She was even more practical than I was. She was grounded and pragmatic. She looked for the best return on investments. She didn’t suggest risky ventures. Ever.
Perhaps realizing how out of character she sounded, she backed off a little. “All I’m saying is to go to Vegas. Then figure out the rest when you get there.”
“It’s a really good plan,” Ben added. “I’d certainly feel better if you were out of town right now.”
“How is it any different than you being here?” My tone was harsher than I’d intended, but not harsher than I’d meant.
“It’s way different,” Ben said. “Dad doesn’t know I’m here. He doesn’t know where to find me. He doesn’t care to find me. And I’m not the one who he’s already asked to do something for him. Plus I have Eric to protect me.” Both men laughed at that like there may have been an inside joke.
Or maybe they were just that happy together.
And Norma had Boyd.
“You’re thinking about it.” Ben winked. “You’re just as easy to read as you always were.”
I rolled my eyes. “But you just got here. I can’t leave when we haven’t had time to catch up.”
“I’m going to live here, drama queen. We’ll see each other All. The. Time. Besides, Eric and I don’t have time for you. We have to see a million places and decide where to live by Sunday when we leave. You’d be in the way.”
I was too exhausted to make any more excuses. Ben was right—I’d see him later. I’d also feel better away from my father while he was on the loose. It was a good idea, really.
And I did want to be with JC. I didn’t want to marry him, but I wanted things to work out. I needed him to know that I wasn’t going to get scared off by whatever trouble he was in.
I picked up Norma’s phone sitting in front of her and looked at the time on the screen. It was a quarter to twelve. The bubble of excitement that had started to form fizzled and popped. “There’s no way I can make the flight.”
Norma shrugged. “Book the next available. Use my credit card. Do you know where he’s staying?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” She looked over at the man who’d driven me there. “You know the man who drove you here?”
“The Tom Selleck wannabe?” I asked.
Ben hit the table with his palm. “That’s who he looks like.”
She couldn’t help but crack a smile at that. “His name is Reynold. He’s one of Hudson’s staff bodyguards. He loaned him to me for the day. He’ll see you home and stay outside the door and then he’ll drive you to the airport.”
“He’ll sit outside the door?” I’d figured he was security, but I’d thought he’d be more undercover. “He already looks like Magnum P.I. Isn’t that a bit obvious?”
“I’m not trying to be discreet,” she said, frustration underlying her words. “I want Dad or any of his friends to know that you are being watched.”
“Okay, okay.” Honestly, I was tired. I should have simply said okay from the beginning.
Another sudden wave of emotion crashed over me. This particular wave was filled primarily with gratitude.
I reached for Norma’s hand with one of mine and one of Ben’s with my other. “Thank you, guys. You especially, Sissy. For everything.”
Norma put her other hand on top of mine. “I love you, Gwen. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.” Her delivery was so matter-of-fact. So plain as day that I had no choice but to truly believe it.
She pulled away first, and I knew it was with the sweetest affection that she said, “Now get the hell home and pack.”
***
The soonest available flight I found to Las Vegas was a red-eye that didn’t leave until midnight. The wait didn’t bother me much. It gave me time to do what I needed and let my emotions settle a bit. I booked the ticket and packed a bag then called Norma with the details of my plans.
“Good. Do you want to tell Reynold or should I call him?”
Since I wanted to pretend that I had no reason to need a bodyguard, I asked her to call him. “What about you, Sis? I don’t want you alone here.”
“I’m going to go straight to the boy’s after work.” She’d taken to calling him “the boy” on our phone calls, in case anyone ever overheard her. “So I won’t see you. Have a good trip. Enjoy yourself and call me when you get there, okay?”
“Got it. Love you. Be safe.”
We hung up and I called Matt. He didn’t answer, and I had to leave him a voicemail telling him I’d be out for at least the next week. I felt a little like an asshole, running away and all. But all I had to do was think of my father with his cocky grin and his upraised hand, and I didn’t care anymore if I was running away. It was survival. This was what I needed to do in order to not break down.
As much as I had on my mind, I still was able to get a few hours of a nap in. When I woke up, it was time to go.
By the time I landed in Vegas, I’d managed to put the reason I was running away from New York completely out of my mind. Now that the trip was all about meeting up with JC, I started to get excited. Really excited.
And anxious.
He wouldn’t mind if I surprised him like this, would he? It was certainly the most spontaneous thing I’d ever done. It made me feel a little crazy. Crazier was that, at some point on the flight, I’d actually begun contemplating his proposal. Why shouldn’t we get married? What could be the worst thing that happened?
I still wasn’t convinced, but I’d open the door for it to be an option. Like Norma said, I’d get there and then I’d see what happened. It was enough of a possibility, though, that my stomach remained in a constant flutter long after the descent into McCarren.
I was so abuzz with nervousness and anticipation, in fact, that I didn’t realize the major flaw in my plan until I walked through the doors of the Trump Hotel and stood in the lobby—I didn’t know what room he was in. And I couldn’t ask the front desk since I still didn’t know his actual fucking name.
Fighting the distinct urge to crumple to the floor and have an epic cry, I forced myself to think of solutions before giving up entirely. There were only two elevators. I could sit by them and wait until he came down. Which could take days. I let out a heavy breath of frustrated air.
Then I remembered the name he’d booked his flight under.
It was worth a try.
With as much confidence as I could muster, I approached the desk. “Hi, would you happen to have an Alex Mader staying in the hotel?” I wasn’t sure the hotel would legally be able to disclose room numbers for registered guests. If that was even the name he’d booked under.
I got hopeful when the desk clerk responded by typing some things into his computer. After a minute of studying his screen, he asked, “Are you Gwen?”
My heart pounded so loudly, I was sure he could hear it. “Yes, I am.”
“If you can just show me your ID, Mrs. Mader, I can get you a key to your room.”
Mrs. Mader. JC had said he booked the room already before he left New York. He’d been hopeful. I tried not to let that mess with my head too much as I pulled out my card and handed it to the desk clerk. “It, uh, still shows my maiden name. Does that work?” I fought the shiver that threatened to run down my back. It was too easy to enjoy this. Too easy to believe that I was actually on my way to becoming Mrs. Mader.
Or Mrs. Whatever-JC’s-Real-Last-Name-Was.
“This should be fine.” The clerk scanned the ID then gave me a keycard. “Room four-seventeen.”
That was it. I had the key. I had the room number. I was doing this.
The only other time I’d been in Vegas was for a birthday weekend with Norma when she’d turned thirty. We’d stayed at the Venetian, a huge sprawling hotel that could practically call itself a city. The Trump Hotel was nothing like that. It was small and classy. There wasn’t even any gambling, which was probably exactly why it was small and classy. While most of Sin City had turned me off on my other visit, I liked this.
What I didn’t like was how fast I made it to the fourth floor. I’d barely had time to gather myself, and here I was about to see JC. A string of I should have’s made their presence in my mind and stalled me for a few minutes after the elevator doors shut behind me. I should have waited to get here until a decent hour of the day. I should have stopped in the lobby restroom to make sure my hair looked okay. I should have worn sexy lingerie underneath these sweats. I should definitely not have worn sweats at all.
What the hell had I been thinking?
But sweats or not, messy hair or not, I was eager to see JC. It felt like a week had passed since we’d parted instead of eighteen hours, and I all of a sudden couldn’t stand for it to be a minute longer.
With renewed excitement, I followed the signs to room four-seventeen.
I hesitated again at the door. Sure, I had a key, but I didn’t want to just walk in unexpected. It would give me a heart attack if someone did that to me. I decided to knock.
It was only seconds before I heard movement and the lock being turned. He hadn’t been sleeping then. Had he been missing me? Did he think it would be me waiting on the other side of the door?
When it opened, though, it wasn’t JC standing there. I was met by an older woman—well, older than me, anyway. Forties, if I had to guess. She had strawberry blonde hair and too much makeup and wore nothing but a T-shirt and panties.
I started to panic and then realized I must not have heard right when the clerk gave me the room number. “I’m so sorry for disturbing you,” I said. “I have the wrong room.”
The woman smiled like it was no big deal. “Who are you looking for?”
“JC.” Maybe I should have said Alex Mader. I was so confused.
“Oh no, sweetie. You got the right place. He’s here.”
“He is?” I was even more confused now. And panicked. It was rude and out of place seeing how it was her room and all, but she was wearing no pants and was supposedly in a hotel room with the man who’d just asked me to marry him not twenty-four hours before—I had to know. “Can I ask, who are you?”
She didn’t seem in the least offended. In fact, she brightened. As if answering the door to a strange woman at four in the morning and being interrogated was completely normal.
“I’m Tamara,” she said. “I’m his wife.”