Standing in my room, water drips down my body from the shower. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I don’t look like myself. I’ve lost weight, and you can even see my ribs. My eyes skim along my side and I frown seeing all the bruises on my thigh. It’s ugly.

I run my fingers along the sensitive skin and wince in reaction. I wish I could have been the one to kill those assholes. Sighing, I grab the towel off the rack and twist it around me.

My room is empty and quiet. It unsettles me as where I just came from was nothing but constant screams. Where is Benji?

I look to the clock finding it to be three in the morning. I’m tired, but I want Benji to lay next to me, make me feel safe. After the mind fuck I had of him possibly being not real, I need him to be next to me as much as possible as I come to terms with what happened.

Opening my door, I head downstairs to the club, it’s a ghost town. Nobody is here, not even any club escorts.

I peek in the chapel and find Benji sitting at the head of the table staring at the gavel. He looks good sitting there. Like he was born to be the president of the club. It’s different not seeing my father sitting there, and a piece of me will miss him. But like Benji said. I’ll miss the parts of him from when I was a little girl. The man I loved, died a long time ago.

“Benji?” I whisper. His blue eyes pop to mine and the butterflies I thought once died flutter around merciless.

“Come here, baby.” He pats his lap.

Tiptoeing inside the room, I look around. I haven’t been in here for years. There are mug shots on the wall of all the members, Benji’s right in the middle. He looks like a bad boy with his hair in his eyes, and a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ look on his face.

Reaching Benji I crawl into his lap, and his head falls onto my chest. His hands sliding up my back slowly.

“Are you okay?” I tangle my fingers into his dark locks of hair.

“Just a lot to take in,” he mutters, his rough voice tickling my skin. Lifting his head, his hands rip off the towel and toss it to the side. I squeal and try and cover my chest. I look to the opened door.

“What if someone sees?”

“They won’t.” He’s so sure. Grabbing me by the thighs he sets me on the wooden table and heads to the doors. Biting my bottom lip, I watch him as he strides with confidence to the double doors. He shuts them and locks them. Stepping to the metal shelf holding bullets, he turns the stereo on. He nods his head to the beat and looks over his shoulder at me.

I can’t help but laugh at him. That’s one thing Benji has always managed to do, make me laugh.

His eyes hooded and hungry, he comes back to me. Resting his callused hands on my knees he jerks them open. I gasp with wide eyes. Tucking an arm around my back he pulls me to him, and I wrap my legs around his strong waist.

Using his teeth, he grabs at my left nipple. The sharp pain heightening my arousal. I gasp, my hands falling to his cheeks. His skin is warm and I never want to let him go. I want his mouth on me all the time, to feel his body next to mine. My eyes roll, and my body grinds on his belt buckle.

He kisses my chest, our breathing becoming labored as we begin to lose control of our bodies. The rings on his left hand slide along my inner thigh and I open my legs wider for him. Grabbing me under the thighs he jerks my ass to the edge and lowers his head. He flicks my clit with his warm tongue and I can’t help the moan spilling from my lips. My nub buzzes and tingles all the way down to my toes.

He licks and sucks at my wetness, feasting upon my arousal like a madman. My body ripples and coils with warmth and pressure. I bite and lick at my bottom lip, the sensation too much for me to handle.

His thick hot tongue feels fucking amazing against my pussy.

His thick finger suddenly fills me and my toes curl into his back. My body rocking onto his face for more friction.

“Mmmm, I could eat you for hours,” he murmurs against my sensitive skin.

Using my elbows, I push myself up and watch him. The way his jaw ticks and his tongue laves at my wetness. Spit and wetness glistens across his lips and I’m so pent up I’m ready for him to just fuck me.

Tugging his hair, I rip his face from my cunt and make him face me.

“Fuck me!” I demand with a husky tone. “Fuck me, like you lost me and just got me back.”

His eyes become ablaze. Grabbing onto my knee with one hand, he flips me on my stomach. My ribs clashing into the table so hard it stings. The sound of his belt buckle hitting the floor causes goosebumps to rise along my spine, my sex clenching as it knows what’s about to come.

Spreading my thighs, the tip of his cock rubs back and forth amongst my heat. I groan, wrapping my feet around his ass the best I can for being on my stomach.

He thrusts inside of me so hard the entire table shakes.

“Yes!” I cry. His hand pets my back as he pushes in and out of me. That spot inside my cunt coming alive with a wave of pleasure.

“Yeah, did you miss that cock?” he growls, and I nod out of breath. The way he fills me and touches me I never want to stop fucking.

His heavy body leans over mine, his hand skirting up my side until clasps around my neck. His grip so tight I have no choice but to look right in front of me.

There’s a mirror with the club colors etched into it. My cheeks are flushed and Benji looks like a fucking god hovering over me, fucking me on the very table I’ve wanted to be at since I was a little girl.

“See that?” he whispers behind me.

“Yeah,” I moan, my body rising to the peak.

“That’s my fucking queen, my bitch, the only chick that I will fuck on this table.”

With his words, I come. I squeeze my eyes shut and give myself to Benji.

He slaps my butt cheek, his finger tickling the bud of my ass. This makes me tense so hard, just as I fall off the cliff of release. The wave of pleasure slamming into me, my nails dig into the wood.

Benji growls, his finger slowly sinking into my ass. Wetness drips from my pussy and I look between my legs horrified.

“What the?”

“You squirted,” he informs out of breath. His cock hitting me just right over and over. The finger in my ass, causing me to clench on to his cock again as another wave of ecstasy knocks through me. My knees give out, and I collapse onto the cold table, my breathing labored and burning my lungs as I fall from the hardest orgasm I’ve ever had. Wetness all over my stomach, thighs, and pussy, I feel dirty and so fucking good at the same time.

Benji slowly slides out of me and I wince. It’s so sensitive it hurts.

Slowly, I turn on my back and look up at my man. He smiles, his dick glistening with my wetness. My cheeks blush at what just happened. I’ve never done that before.

He smirks, shoving himself back in his jeans.

“That was fucking hot.” He looks up through hooded eyes.

I shake my head, covering my face with my hands.

“Oh my God, no it wasn’t. I can’t believe I did that.” I giggle, embarrassed.

Something heavy and cool falls on my bare tits and I drop my hands, my shyness fading. It’s leather. There’s leather in my hands.

Furrowed brows, I sit up and look the jacket over. It’s brand new.

My mouth drops, it’s not just a jacket. It’s an ol’ lady cut.

Benji’s Ol’ Lady, proudly stitched into it. I even have a road name.

“Hyde.” Like Jekyll and Hyde. “Viper calls me Hyde.” I laugh. It’s perfect, it’s not girly, and it’s a part of me.

“I was just going to put Harley, but Viper insisted we put Hyde.” Benji rubs his fingers over the new patches.

I can’t stop laughing, my eyes filling with tears. I have my very own club cut. I’m a part of the club.

Benji pulls me into him, his arms feeling like home.

Looking up at him, he looks down to me.

“You think we’ll be bad at this whole love thing?”

“Oh absolutely,” he chuckles. His laughter fades and the giant rings on his fingers slide against my chin. I kiss them, loving him. “But I’ll never stop falling in love with you.”

“Even if I’m crazy?” I can’t help but ask, as I try on the cut. My nipples perk amongst the cool leather.

“Never stopped me before.” He shrugs, grasping the sides of my cut.

“How are you feeling?”

“I haven’t had a blackout in days,” I inform him. His eyes widen with surprise.

“I think accepting my love for you and remembering why Farrah was created in the process helped a lot. I feel like she is in my head, but I can hear her and listen to her rather than before where I would black out. Does that make sense?”

“It does,” he mutters.

With furrowed brows, he leans in and kisses my forehead. I know what he’s thinking. Just because Farrah is gone now… doesn’t mean she won’t be back.

She always comes back.

I’ll always be crazy.