CHAPTER 50
FURY
I couldn’t believe this asshole had me arrested.
I paced in the lone cell at the Sheriff’s office. Situated directly in the middle of the office, the wide open cell bars put the prisoner — me — in full display, like a goddamned caged animal in a zoo.
Ross sat at his desk, huddled over and whispering into the phone.
For the last half hour, he’d sat hunched over his desk while filling out whatever paperwork he deemed necessary to charge me with this bogus bullshit charge.
“I was only defending Jackie,” I'd told him in the car on the way over.
“I know, son,” he said. “But a charge is a charge. Gotta do the right thing.”
Surprisingly, I found him smart and reasonable, if a little slow. Fortunately, this wasn’t my first rodeo. I’d been arrested plenty of times before and I knew better than to panic about it.
Before long, I’d be out of here and back in Jackie’s arms.
I’d play their stupid little small town game if that’s what they needed. Whatever it costs for Ryder and Grace to get me out, I’d pay them back. It was worth it to feel Hank’s face slam into my fist, to tell you the truth.
What a fucking asshole, I thought, for the millionth time since his blood had stained my knuckles.
Ross finally got off the phone and cradled his head in his hands, muttering to himself. He grabbed the form he was filling out and ripped it up, crumbling it up and throwing it into the trash can next to his desk. With a heavy sigh, he stood up and walked over to my cage.
He unlocked the lock and threw open the door.
“Get out,” he said, shaking his head.
“What?”
“Just go. Try to stay away from Hank.”
“I’m out, huh? Just like that?”
“Just like that.” He turned away and walked back to his desk. He slid open his bottom drawer and pulled out a bottle of Jim Beam and two shot glasses. He poured a shot and downed it, then gestured to me.
“Want a drink?”
“Yeah, sure man.”
I downed it and turned towards the door.
“Green says you should call him,” he said.
I lifted a hand and nodded, opening the door and walking out into the snow. It was falling heavy now, blanketing the cars and roads in heavy silence. Cars and people lined the roads, with folks leaving the dance and some late arrivals just getting there. Jackie told me the dance sometimes lasted till midnight and it was nowhere near that yet.
Ignoring the looks I was getting, I wandered back into the gym of the school, looking for Jackie. I spotted Tara standing by a bored looking man by the empty punch bowl. All the cookies and cupcakes had been scavenged, the aftermath a messy kaleidoscope of discarded glitter and empty cupcake liners.
“Tara, where’s Jackie?” I asked her.
“I thought she was with you,” she said, wrinkling her brow.
“I was detained for a bit,” I said. “I saw her run out but I thought she’d be back by now.”
“I haven’t seen her since you punched out Hank,” she said. “Fabulous work, by the way. Seriously impeccable.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, looking around confusedly. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I can take a punch, don’t worry.”
I nodded, still searching for any sign of Jackie.
She was nowhere to be seen.
“I’m going to walk over to her house,” I said. “Let her know if she shows up.”
“Will do,” she said, a slow smile spreading across her face. I felt her gaze walk over me and turned away with a smile. At least I had Tara’s approval, at least.
That was important.
I wanted Jackie to be happy. Whatever happened with Green, however all that shit goes down, in the end, I want us to find a way to go deeper, figure out what all this means, this connection we have.
Maybe I can’t live here, and maybe she can’t live in Tillamook, who knows. But once my life is out of this transition, once I figure out what my place is in Solid Ground and things are more settled for me, then we can figure out the logistics.
I hadn’t been very good at putting all this into words the last few days. Hell, we’d spent so much time in bed, we didn’t need words. Every kiss, every lick, every thrust and caress, those to me were the only things we truly needed to say to one another.
Who’s to say what words are? Who’s to say what they aren’t?
Who’s to say our fingertips don’t have their own language, one that they only whisper to our lover’s skin?
How can you assign a set of letters to a stillness like that?
It’s too fragile for the boundaries of a definition, ever-changing, whimsical, iridescently fleeting…
Maybe I couldn’t find the perfect words, but I had to try.
I had to explain, without my fists, without grunting, or growling like a goddamned caveman, just how much Jackie had grown to mean to me.
I had to find a way to tell her.
Because even if they fall woefully short sometimes, words were what women wanted.
They wanted to put labels on things. Use the big L word.
They liked it when you spelled things out.
Changed your Facebook status to ‘very much taken’.
I was ready. I could do this.
I practically ran all the way back to Jackie’s house, ignoring the snow, ignoring the people out walking around or back home. And when my phone started ringing off the hook, and I saw it was Bodhi, I ignored that, too.
He could wait.
Killing Will could fucking wait.
Right now, I needed to find Jackie and explain to her that she was the diamond in my sky and that I had every intention of spending the rest of my life with her.
Her house was dark when I arrived, only the porch light shining down onto the front yard. I knocked and waited, greeted by silence.
I looked through the window and saw the house was completely dark and Jackie was nowhere to be seen. I wandered back towards the school, strolling by the diner on my way.
I peeked in the window and saw a light on back in the kitchen. I knocked lightly and waited a moment before trying the door. My eyebrows raised when I realized it was open and as soon as I stepped inside, I heard Jackie crying.
I ran into the back and found her in her office on the floor. I sank to my knees beside her, pulling her into my arms.
“Babe, what’s going on?” I asked. “Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?” I looked her up and down, but she didn’t seem to be injured. She shook her head, staring up at me with mascara-streaked eyes. She pushed something towards me and I looked down at her hands. Crumpled and creased, it was an old picture of a beautiful, smiling woman, a woman who looked almost exactly like the beautiful, crying woman in my arms.
“Who is this?” I said.
“That’s my Mom,” she said. “Her name was Jane…”
The words that tumbled out of her after that were scrambled and fraught with emotion. I listened carefully, doing my best to make sense of it all.
***
Twenty minutes later, she was sobbing in my arms and it was all I could do to keep from crushing her with my anger.
If I’d ever felt rage like this, I couldn’t remember it.
Her story spilled out in spurts, but I finally got enough details to string it all together and it equaled one thing and one thing only.
Bodhi Green was a dead man.
I’d come to this town to help bring him down for hurting his innocent daughter. That alone was enough for what I was going to do to him. But now that I knew he’d done so much more harm, and had lived to prosper and go on to have a good life, enjoying his freedom and money, like he’d never hurt a fly?
There’s not going to be anything left of him when I’m done.
My body trembled with rage, every cell amped up to ten.
I was ready to fight, fuck — I was ready for war.
“Jackie, let’s get you home,” I said, my voice as measured and calm as I could make it. I swallowed hard, feeling like I was going to explode out of my skin.
“Okay,” she said, sniffling. I helped her off the floor and we locked up the diner, walking the short way back to her house. I helped her into bed, kissing her gently. She’d been through so fucking much. More than anyone needed to be.
“Get some rest,” I said. “I need to take care of something. I’ll be right back, I promise.”
“Are you going to Green’s house?”
“The less you know the better, babe.”
She nodded and wiped her tears, breaking my angry heart in two, stinging my soul like whiskey poured over an open wound.
I grabbed her face, kissing her hard.
“We’re going to get through this,” I said, peering into her eyes. Despite my rage, love swelled in my heart, causing my entire body to shudder with determination. “I’m going to take care of this and then I’m going to take care of you, Jackie. Whatever you need. I’m here for you. I promise.”
“Fury,” she said, shaking her head. “You don’t have to fight my battle.”
“I’m not,” I said. “I’m fighting my own. Trust me. Just trust me. I’ll be back soon and then we can talk some more and everything will make sense.”
She nodded and I kissed her again before standing up.
“Jackie, I have so much to say. But I need to do this right now. I’ll be back soon, babe,” I said, the urge to flee overwhelming me. I couldn’t be soft, not right now, not this minute. There would be plenty of time for loving Jackie later, right now, I needed my anger.
I needed to hold it close, I needed to embrace it, because it was what was going to get me through this. As if I was propelled forward by it, I left my crying love behind, launching myself out into the dark, cold night and towards the completion of the most important job of my life.
Bodhi Green’s destruction was my mission.
Eliminating him was going to be my pleasure.
As I ran back to the B&B, his calls kept ringing in my pocket.