CHAPTER 1
BENJI
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS LATER
The waiting room at Dr. Nelson’s office smelled like bleach. I sat in a green plastic chair, my feet barely reaching the floor as I watched the girl at the front desk yawn before returning to blowing bubbles with a wad of purple bubble gum.
Her name’s Cynthia, and she’s the sister of one of my friend’s at school, Jeffrey. He’s in sixth grade, and I’m in fifth, but Cynthia graduated two years ago and then she landed this job and she’s been here ever since.
She’ll probably still be sitting in that chair five years from now. Or ten. Jobs aren’t easy to come by in this tiny little town, at least that’s what Dad says. I won’t be here long, though, I know that much. I have dreams that are bigger than this place.
My parents can visit me, wherever I end up.
And so can Molly.
Molly Green’s my best friend and has been ever since second grade when Ms. Stone made us switch seats and sat us next to each other in order to keep Ralph Stevens and Mikey Malone separated because they wouldn’t stop snapping their rulers at each other.
Molly and I never hung out together too much before that, which is weird, because our dads work together, and my house is right behind hers. Her mom isn’t very social, my Mom says.
But still, everyone knows Molly and her family. You don’t grow up in this town and not know them.
But anyway, after that day Ms. Stone sat us together, we started hanging out a lot.
Before long, I’d just trek through the woods that separated our houses and cross the grassy meadow in her backyard and knock on her door any time I wanted. I didn’t even have to ask to come over anymore, that’s how close we are now.
That’s why I’m here, actually. In this doctor’s office waiting room, the smell of bleach so strong that I’ll still smell it later tonight when I change my clothes before bed.
I’m here because of Molly.
She had an accident again. I think this time it might be worse than all the others. I think her arm is broken, but I don’t know for sure because the nurse and her dad won’t let me back to see her. So, I decided to just sit here and wait. She has to come out eventually.
I just need to know she’s going to be okay and then I can go home.
In the meantime, I’m people watching. Our town is really small, I think I mentioned that. Dad says there’s only a thousand residents, give or take a few dozen. So, I’m not surprised there’s not a lot of action in Dr. Nelson’s waiting room. My people watching is pretty dang boring here, for the most part.
I perk up a little when Josie walks out and slowly sits down across from me. She’s got a black eye and her arm is in a sling and the heavy mascara she always wears, even to church, is smeared into thick streaks that trail down her chubby cheeks. I avoid looking at her for long, because Mama told me it’s not polite to stare, and she doesn’t look like she wants to talk.
She looks sad, real sad.
A few minutes later, Debbie Samuels, who I know as Todd Samuel’s mom, but is also Dr. Nelson’s nurse, comes out of the back with a clipboard holding a bunch of papers and sits down next to Josie. Josie doesn’t look at her either, but Debbie starts talking anyway. They both ignore me, so I pretend I’m not there and look down at my Converse.
I can’t help but listen.
“Josie, this isn’t the first time this has happened,” Debbie says. Her voice is quiet and gentle and it reminds me of when Mama was talking to our goat Dora while she was giving birth to a brand new kid that looked just like her, with the same brown-shaped moon on her leg and everything. It’s soothing and relaxing, like if she talks too loud or too fast, Josie will bolt out the door, so she talks as softly as possible. “You need to leave him.”
Debbie doesn’t say his name, but I know who she’s talking about. Sheriff Ross is Josie’s boyfriend, and he’s a real scary guy. Once, Mama and Dad and I were sitting in Jenny’s Diner and Sheriff Ross and Josie were at the next booth. Everything seemed fine and normal at first but then Sheriff Ross started raising his voice and then, out of the blue, Josie up and threw her glass full of iced tea right in his face!
Well, we all stopped and watched, shocked and surprised, and I’m pretty sure nobody really knew what to do at first, including Sheriff Ross. It was kind of like time stopped for a second. But then, once Sheriff Ross realized everyone in the diner was watching him, he jumped up and grabbed a handful of Josie’s long black hair and pulled her all the way out of the restaurant like that. He pulled her all the way out into the street and then he started punching her.
I couldn’t believe it. I’d never seen anyone get punched before, not really, not like that. I mean, once J.R. punched Ike Taylor at recess because he’d said his mama was fat, but it was all over before it started and there wasn’t any blood involved or anything like that. It barely left a mark at all.
But this was different. There was blood. A whole lot of it. Gushing from Josie’s mouth and nose, far as I could tell. Dad ran out there and pulled Sheriff Ross off her pretty quickly, but the damage was already done.
Josie ran off around the corner and Sheriff Ross jumped into his police cruiser and as quickly as it started, it was over. We all went back to our tables, since we’d gathered around the plate glass windows to watch the commotion, stepping over ice cubes and spilled tea along the way.
Dad didn’t want to talk about it after that, but I couldn’t help but ask him what was going to happen to Sheriff Ross for being so mean. Didn’t seem right that he would just get to walk away.
“Not everything in life is fair, Benji,” Dad said later, when I wouldn’t drop the subject. And I guess he’s right. But so is Debbie. Because this certainly wasn’t the first time Sheriff Ross had given Josie a black eye and it wasn’t going to be the last. Everyone knew that. Seems like Josie was the only one holding onto any kind of faith in it ending anytime soon.
“I can’t leave him and you know it,” Josie said now to Debbie. “He’d find me. And where would I go? I don’t have a dime to my name and he keeps it that way. Got no family, nowhere to go even if I had the money.”
“Don’t you have any girlfriends that you can stay with?” Debbie asked, her voice still all gentle and calm.
“I tried that once. Ross threatened to burn down Daphne’s house if I left. You remember that.”
Debbie sighed and nodded slowly, before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a business card and handing it to her.
“What’s this?”
“Call this number. They may be able to help you. They helped my cousin out of a bad situation a year ago.”
“More police?” Josie asked. “You know the cops aren’t going to help, Debbie. Ross is the freakin’ Sheriff of Greenville, nobody’s going to go up against him. And Connor’s the judge, they’re best friends.”
“No, they aren’t cops. They’re different. They’re good people. They call themselves Solid Ground.”
“Debbie, this is useless.”
“No, Josie,” Debbie said. “You can’t give up on yourself. If you do, you’re as good as dead. Men like Ross just get more violent. You know Ross won’t stop. Next time, it could be a lot worse.”
“I know, I know,” she replied, tears falling down her face. She took the card and looked at it. “There’s only a number on here. Who do I ask for?”
“Don’t ask for anyone. When they answer, they’ll ask if you know the password. The password is ‘sanctuary’. They’ll help you, but only if you call.”
“Thanks, Debbie,” Josie said, mustering a weak smile. Debbie patted her knee and smiled back.
“I gotta run,” she said. “Call me if you need anything, okay, hon?”
“Thanks, Deb.” Debbie stood up and walked away, disappearing back behind the door that led to the exam rooms in the back, back where Molly still was. I wanted to call after her, ask her once more if I could come back, but I knew the answer hadn’t changed.
Instead, I stayed quiet, pretending not to watch as Josie stared silently at the card in her hand for a good, long while.
Eventually she sighed heavily, shook her head, and tore it in two, leaving the pieces on the seat beside her before standing up and walking out.