Chapter Four
Gabriel
Those five words had been the reason I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in three years.
I looked at her and saw she was on the verge of slapping me. A mixture of anger, confusion and bitterness crossed her face. I waited for her to react.
“Well, thank you for sharing that, but it doesn’t matter,” she said.
“Of course, it matters.”
“Why exactly are you here? You think just because you managed to fuck me, that you can now screw with my mind as well?”
“No, that’s not why I’m here.”
“Like I said, Terry's gone. Nothing anyone can say or do will bring him back. Not your feeble-assed apologies, or your pensive little stare, or that fake limp you made up just to win my sympathy.”
“It’s not fake. I can show you.”
“Spare me.”
She held her hands up in the air and stood up.
“It’s done now. You've laid your flowers on the proverbial grave. Now please leave. I’m busy and have things to do.”.
My hand snaked across the table, grasping hers. Just like last night, her heat seared me, warming me from the inside out. It was different from the heat outside, different from anything I’d ever felt. It was intense, and I wasn't sure whether it was her anger, or her fiery nature that I was so incredibly attracted to.
She looked down at my hand and I slowly wrapped my fingers around her wrist.
“Wait, please,” I said.
“Why?”
“Because I came all this way to talk to you.”
“I thought you said you were here on business.”
“I am. This is my business.”
She narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously.
“Just sit down, please,” I said. “For five minutes. That’s all I’m asking. Let’s talk, and even if you don’t want to talk to me, just let me talk to you. Give me a chance to say what I need to say. Then I’ll leave, I promise.”
“Fine.” She sat back down in the chair with a loud sigh. “I’ll give you five minutes and not a minute more. I’m listening,” she said with a soft voice.
I nodded and released her hand.
She leaned back in the booth and crossed her arms in a defensive gesture.
“Your brother was my best friend in the field. I think you may have known that.”
She nodded.
“We were blowing some enemy munitions at the end of the day. I didn't canvas the area properly. There was another stash close by that we didn’t know about. When we blew the first one, it set off the second and that's what. . .” My voice trailed off again and the memories flooded back.
I still could hear the explosions, and the screams in my mind. I couldn't look at her. Hell, I couldn't even look at myself sometimes. I had been ridden with guilt ever since it happened.
I failed Terry.
I failed myself, and now I had to live with the guilt for the rest of my life.
Survivor’s guilt they call it.
The guilt of being alive when others died.
When she sighed, I managed to look at her. She scowled at me, sadness hidden in her eyes and she nodded slowly.
“Alright. I get it,” she said. “Thank you for telling me. Now that you’ve gotten this off your chest, you can go.”
“Lynette.” I sighed, but she stood up from the chair and walked to the counter. “Please.”
She glanced back at me. The tears were visible in her eyes, though she was fighting hard to hard them. I saw them, and she knew it. That’s why she turned away. She wanted to be strong.
“I have to get back to work. The bar opens soon, and there's still a lot I have to do.”
“Wait.”
“What is it, Gabriel?” she asked impatiently.
“I promised Terry I would make sure you were okay. And he wanted me to tell you something.”
A bitter laugh spilled from her lips and she shook her head.
“I don’t want to hear it.”
I made my way over to her, resting my hand on her now trembling shoulders.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to…”
“What? Make sure I'm okay? My big brother sent his best friend from the war to make sure that I'm okay as his dying wish? Yeah, right.”
The hurt radiated in her voice. My jaw clenched.
“I'm glad you decided to finally honor my brother's wishes or whatever, but you're a little late. I'm a big girl now. I don't need a knight with a bad leg to come save me. I’m doing fine on my own.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
“You’re crossing a very dangerous line. I suggest you leave.”
“Not yet.”
Lynette was infuriating me. I understood she needed to pretend to be strong because sometimes that’s the only way to get through the day. She might have everyone else around her fooled, but not me.
Looking at her tired, yet beautiful face I had to admit, I preferred her looking like this than dressed in a slinky gold dress that barely covered her ass. As luscious as it was.
The woman who stood before me right now with dirty clothes and an exhausted, yet temperamental look on her face, was the real deal.
“No, you can go. I’m fine, so consider your debt paid,” she hissed.
“No, it’s not. Let me help you. With something, anything. You're exhausted.”
I reached out to her, and to my surprise, she didn't back away. She allowed me to touch her face, my thumb tracing the dark line under her eye.
“Please, let me help you with something.”
She was momentarily stilled, but then regained that feistiness and smacked my hand away.
“Cut it out! I said I was fine and I meant it. “
I wasn't going to win this one, so I simply nodded.
“That box,” I said, pointing at the elaborate gift-wrapped package on the table, “is for you. I thought you should have it.”
“Whatever, Army boy. Just get out. The bar will be opening soon and I’m way behind. I’ve got work to do. You’ve taken up too much of my time as it is.”
With one long last look at her face, I turned back to the table and grabbed my cane. Clearly there was nothing I could do or say that would change the way she felt at this moment, so there was no point. I had pressed her enough and she clearly didn't like it. I continued out the door without another word.
She followed closely behind me and locked the door with a loud click as soon as I was outside. I noticed she didn't say good-bye, not that I expected her to.
I stood outside on the sidewalk in the sunlight, trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do next. I had an obligation, and I couldn't just walk away, but how could I stay when she wanted me gone?
I leaned against the side of the building out of her sight and pondered my next move. If Lynette thinks she can get rid of me so easily, she’s in for a big disappointment.
I made a promise that I intend to keep.