Epilogue: Who You Are
Carro was crying, and Nora had her arms around her, patting her back and trying to whisper soothing things. She didn't know what to say, though. She was going to miss her friend. She was going to miss Alinsoth. When she'd arrived, all she'd wanted was to know where she belonged so that she could get back there, but now that it had come time to leave, she couldn't be excited about it.
Everything about the person she'd been before this seemed so far away. It seemed like it had happened to another person. Nora remembered sitting there, trying to figure out who she wanted to be. She remembered being so determined not to just be a faceless nobody. She remembered her terrible job and her wonderful roommate and her parents and her friends. All of that was waiting for her, and yet the thought of leaving still made her want to cry herself.
"It'll be okay, Carro," she said.
"You won't come back," Carro replied, and Nora had no words. Because it was true. It wasn't like she could just take a weekend vacation to Alinsoth. The Imperials had agreed to leave the Amakari alone because of the weight of information they had against the government, but that didn't mean they wanted travelers coming and going.
"I know," Nora murmured. "I'm sorry."
Carro shook her head, leaning back. "Don't be sorry. I'm happy for you," she said. "You get to go home. That's what you wanted, right?"
"Right." Only...was it? Was it what she wanted?
Carro let her go and stepped back further, giving her the space to walk away if she wanted to. "Where's Galen?" she asked, glancing around.
Ashera and Donlan exchanged a glance. All of them had come to see her off, waiting for her to get in the little shuttle that Carro had made for her. Nora was half worried that she'd get stranded in space somewhere, but Carro had assured her that if her signal didn't make it to Earth or ever stopped moving, they would come get her.
"You're one of us now," she'd said, and Nora felt warm inside.
"Is he not coming?" Carro continued, still looking for Galen.
"He isn't good at saying goodbye," Donlan answered Carro, though he was looking at Nora.
"That's fine," Nora said. "We've done our goodbyes already." If sullen silence and really good sex counted as a goodbye, that was. Apparently for Galen it did. Nora tried not to let that bother her. She tried to tell herself that this was just a fling. An...intergalactic fling that had finally reached its inevitable end. She had to go back to her planet, and Galen had to stay here and that was just the way things were. If he didn't want to come see her off, then that was fine.
It was fine.
Nora bit her lip, trying to hold back the tidal wave of emotions that was crashing over her. Everything was just so confusing. Before she'd come here, she'd known exactly who she was and what she wanted, even though she hadn't known how to get there. She wanted something that felt right, something that was hers. And for a while...for a while, she'd thought that this could be that thing. But of course, that was before she'd remembered who she was and where she belonged. Now that she knew all of that and the danger had passed, she was supposed to go home.
It wasn't like Galen wanted her to stay anyway, and she wasn't going to go back to him ignoring her and treating her like she was an outsider. That would hurt too much.
So she drew herself up and made herself smile. She looked at Ashera and Donlan. She looked at Carro and Jonton, at Cattilda and Phelon and everyone else who had gathered. "Thank you," she said finally. "You all were much nicer to me than I probably deserved, considering how I showed up here. You gave me a place to stay and kept me safe and made me feel welcome, and I'll never forget it. Stay safe." She lifted a hand to wave and then turned towards the shuttle again. It was loaded with food and supplies for the trip, courtesy of Carro and Ashera, and Donlan had given her some of their strange money in case she got into trouble she needed to buy her way out of. All that was left to do now was leave.
"Wait."
The familiar voice made her freeze in her tracks, one foot on the step leading up to the shuttle. Nora swallowed hard.
"Come to say goodbye?" she asked, hating the way her voice shook.
"No," Galen said. "I didn't."
"I don't know why else you'd be here, then. You're supposed to say goodbye to people who're leaving."
"Then don't leave."
That made her turn around, eyes wide. "What?"
"Don't leave." His face was as sincere looking as she'd ever seen it, and she wasn't sure what to say to that, so she just stared at him. Galen took another step forward. "Please," he added.
"What?" It seemed like all Nora could think to say.
"I know," Galen said, "that you have a life and friends and a family back on Earth. I know you have dreams and plans and things you want from your life. But don't you think you could have that here?"
"I..."
"Nora. You're one of us. You are. I know I made you feel like you never would be when you came here, but I think we've made up for that since then. You're one of us. You stood with us and you stared down the Imperials and you survived."
"He's got a point," she heard someone say, but she was too busy staring at Galen to pick out who had said it.
Her head was spinning with his words, and for one breathless moment, she thought she was going to faint. Unless this was a dream, Galen was asking her to stay. Saying he wanted her to stay. "But..." Nora heard herself asking. "What would I do?"
"I don't know. Anything. Whatever you wanted. You could learn to build things with Carro or take up healing with Ashera. I'd teach you to fight if you wanted. Whatever you want. Anything you want. Just stay. You're happy here. I know you are."
She couldn't deny it. The time before she got her memories back, after Galen had stopped treating her like a pariah, those had been some of the happiest days in recent memories. It had been like being freed from the heavy weight of the expectations she'd put on herself, and she'd loved that Nora and how open and easy going she was.
Even once she'd gotten her memories back and had finally come clean with Galen about it, things had been easy. She'd been happy. It hadn't felt like she was just sitting around waiting for something better to come along.
"Maybe," Nora allowed out loud. "But that doesn't mean I should just...give up my life and stay here."
She met Galen's eyes, willing him to say the real reason he wanted her to stay. She believed that he wanted her to be happy and that he liked having her around, but that wasn't good enough. Not for her.
It was clear that he knew what she wanted to hear, and he sighed softly and rubbed a hand over his head the way he always did when he was unsure about something. "Nora," he said.
"Galen," she replied.
It was almost like there wasn't a large gathering of his fellow Amakari standing around watching the exchange. The two of them only had eyes for each other. "You already know," he said. "Don't you?"
"Maybe I need to hear it," she said. "You're asking me to turn my life upside down and stay here. Maybe I need to hear the words. Just this once."
He sighed and looked away, but then met her eyes with the same determination shining in them that she'd seen when he'd faced down the Imperials. "Nora, I'd like you to stay," he said. "With me. I want you to stay with me. I...I care about you, and I don't want to lose you."
Her heart pounded in her chest, and it took a few tries before she could clear her throat and say "Why?"
Galen looked frustrated. "Because," he said. "Because I like having you around. Because waking up with you in the morning makes the mornings better. Because I love your spirit and the way you don't let me push you around. Because there's no one else I want to be with now, and if you leave, I'm going to be unhappy and alone forever. Is that good enough?"
It was definitely more than she'd been expecting, and Nora had to pull herself together for a moment before she could respond. "Yeah," she said. "It's good enough. You want me to stay."
"Yes."
"I want to stay."
He closed the distance between them in two quick strides and took her hands in his. "Then stay. Just stay. That's all you have to do." It sounded so easy when he said it like that. All she had to do was turn her back on the life she'd had before and the person she'd been. All she had to do was step into the unknown with him at her side.
A terrifying prospect to be sure, but then...she had always loved a challenge.
The sun streamed through the windows of the house, and Nora made a grumbling noise under her breath and pulled the pillow over her head, blocking out the light and the sound of whatever Galen was doing in the kitchen.
It wasn't too loud, but it was too early, and she didn't know why he wasn't in bed to begin with. It wasn't like he was a morning person, and it was his fault that they had been up so late the night before.
"Are you hiding from the sun?"
His voice was liberally saturated with amusement, and if Nora had something to throw at him, she would have done it. As it was, she just tried to ignore him, thinking sleepy thoughts so maybe she'd be allowed to drift off back to sleep until a more reasonable hour of the morning.
"I made breakfast," Galen said.
That caught her attention, and Nora pulled the pillow away so that she could regard him through one sleep clouded eye. "What did you do?" she asked.
"I made breakfast," he repeated, speaking slower like she was stupid.
"I heard that part," Nora replied. "I mean what did you do that made you want to make breakfast. It's either an apology or you're buttering me up for something."
"Is that another weird human phrase?" he wanted to know.
Nora rolled her eyes. "No weirder than your phrases. Don't change the subject."
"I'm not," he insisted. "I didn't do anything."
"Yeah, I don't believe that for a second."
Galen huffed a sigh and moved to sit on the bed beside her. "Will you just trust me?"
He said it with such sincerity in his tone that Nora almost felt bad for being suspicious of him. Almost. She had known him for long enough now that she had plenty of reason for her suspicion. But he seemed to be telling the truth, so she grumbled, but got out of bed.
His eyes lingered on her as she moved to stand and stretched, the sun falling warm on her skin through the window. She didn't need to look at him to know that he would be looking at her with appreciation, lust, and something a great deal more genuine in those eyes.
It made her feel warm every time she saw it.
Nora pulled on her robe and then let him lead her to the kitchen where he had laid an impressive spread of food on the table. There were breads and spiced meats, eggs, and the strange sweet grain that was their version of oatmeal with nuts and fruit studded in it. She could smell her favorite tea--one of Ashera's blends--coming from the steaming cup at her place at the table, and she couldn't help squinting suspiciously at Galen once more.
"Still didn't do anything," he insisted. "You don't even know what day it is, do you?"
"Uh?" They kept time differently on Alinsoth than they did on Earth, so Nora couldn't even tell him what day of the week it was, let alone if it was a day that was special. "Be really nice to your lover day?" she asked, hoping it wasn't a day that was special to him that she was supposed to have remembered. She figured that if it was, he wouldn't have made food for her, but it was hard to tell.
"No," he replied, looking amused. "It's your birth day." He said it as two words instead of the one it was on Earth, and Nora jolted with surprise. "How do you know that?"
"I remember when you said it was last year," he said.
"You mean Carro or Ashera remembered." The year before she had still been so new to all of this, and she'd only told them it was her birthday after the fact.
"No," he said again. "I wrote it down."
"You...why?"
He gave her an exasperated look. "Because I care about you." He frowned then, seeming to come to some sort of decision. "Because I love you."
Nora just gaped at him for a moment. They had been together for the better part of a year and a half at this point, and she knew that he cared for her deeply. She knew that he was happy that she'd stayed and that he wanted to be with her. But he wasn't the sort of person who put stock in words often. He expected her to be able to tell how he felt from the looks and the touches and the way he took care of her, and for the most part she was able to do it. She never doubted his affection for her.
But hearing the words was something altogether different. Warmth bloomed in her in a way she hadn't expected, and she couldn't find the words to express that she loved him too for a good few seconds.
“You don’t have to say it back,” Galen rushed to tell her. “I don’t need words, you know that. But sometimes it seems like maybe you do?”
Nora blinked and then smiled at him. “I don’t need words,” she said. “It’s nice to hear them, I can’t pretend it’s not, but I never needed them. I know you love me. And I love you, too.”
For a moment, Galen just looked stunned, and it amused Nora to think that he had gone into this not expecting to hear her say it back.
You silly barbarian, she thought in her head, smiling at him. How could I not love you? I've been with you all this time, I stayed on this rock with you, I'm learning your ways and I'm friends with your friends and I love the life you've helped me create. Of course I love you.
She didn't say any of that, though, instead choosing to just smile at him and wait for some kind of reaction. Emotions and genuine feelings were still difficult for Galen, still something that he was working on getting better at handling, so she was fine with giving him the time to come to grips with the revelation.
When he did, it was in a typically Galen fashion. He grabbed her and pulled her close, tipping her face up with one large hand so that he could kiss her thoroughly.
"Never thought I'd hear anyone say that to me," he mumbled against her mouth, and Nora grinned.
"I love you," she said, letting him hear it for a second time.
He growled and kissed her until she didn't have the breath to say it again.
How long had it been since someone had told Galen they loved him? He'd left his family behind ages ago, and the Amakari weren't an emotional group. Galen had fought and struggled and hardened over the years, but it was nice to know that deep in the heart of him, he was still just a person who wanted to be loved.
When he bit down on her bottom lip, Nora let her thoughts go. She had more important things to concentrate on, after all, like the way Galen's tongue was swiping the seam of her mouth, and how good it felt when she parted her lips and let him in.
His tongue slid alongside hers, and she shivered in his grip, moaning softly for him.
It was absurd how this man could make her weak in the knees so easily, but it was a talent that he had in spades. Sometimes all he had to do was look at her the right way and she was ready for him. Now, with his tongue in her mouth, one hand at her face and the other holding her at the small of her back, Nora knew she had never felt so safe and secure before. Galen would die before he let anything happen to her. He loved her, and he showed it in the way he took care of her and the way he made love to her.
He could be surprisingly gentle at times, but it was her birthday, she was in love, and Nora didn't want it gentle. She wanted something she was going to feel for the rest of the day. So she smirked internally and bit down on Galen's tongue.
He growled at her and pulled back enough that she could see the heat in his eyes and the smirk pulling on his mouth.
"That wasn't very nice," he said.
"I'm not a nice girl," she replied, staring right back at him.
Galen's grin grew, and she could feel him getting hard where he was pressed against her. "You asking for something?" he wanted to know.
"If I have to tell you, then it's not very good, now is it?" Nora responded flippantly.
Those eyes narrowed, and it was only a matter of seconds before she was being pushed up against the wall of the kitchen without a hope of escape.
She gasped out a laugh as her back hit the wall, and she shimmied enough that she could get her legs around Galen's waist. He held her up with just the press of his pelvis against hers, and Nora remembered very suddenly that she was completely naked under her robe. Galen seemed to remember it at about the same time, because his hands were going to the tie that kept the robe closed, and he pulled it undone, letting the soft fabric gape open around her body.
His eyes always lit up to see her undressed, and they roamed her body now, from her face to her chest down to the lines of her stomach to where her legs were wrapped around his waist, hiding her sex from him.
He didn't seem to mind that. Instead, he put a large hand on her breast, rough padded fingers flicking and tweaking at her nipples enough to make her gasp.
She felt so small under his hands, even though she was tall for a human woman. But that didn't matter when Galen had her pressed against the wall like this, hands touching everywhere.
Her head fell to one side, and Galen took that for the invitation it was and his mouth found her neck. He kissed her there, starting feather light before switching to open mouthed and hot, biting and licking at her pulse point until she was shuddering and wet against him.
Her hips moved in small circles, seeking out some friction against him because he was driving her crazy. Nora wanted him to quit with the teasing already and give her what she wanted. It was her birthday, after all.
"You'll get what you want," Galen said, clearly sensing her thoughts from her small noises of desire. "Be patient."
"That's good coming from...oh, yes...from you," she managed to get out around a moan when he bit her neck again. Carro was going to give her hell for looking like she'd been mauled the next time they saw each other, and Nora couldn't even bring herself to care.
Not when she could feel the thick hardness of Galen's cock pressed almost exactly where she wanted it. If he hadn't been wearing pants, then she would have been able to grind down against him and he wouldn't have been able to resist pressing into her.
But the pants were a barrier, and if Nora had been able to do it without moving from her spot, she would have gotten them off of him immediately.
She was so keyed up. She could practically feel the arousal building, buzzing under her skin in a way that couldn't be ignored. She was wet, and her nipples had tightened to hard little buds under Galen's hands, and when he pinched one, she cried out for him, hips bucking forward. At this point, Nora was practically just humping him, desperate for more.
Galen seemed to find that both amusing and arousing because he let it go on for a few more minutes as he kissed her neck and played with her breasts, but then she could feel the frustration coiling in him, and his lack of patience won out like she had known it would.
He managed to open his pants with one hand, and then, when Nora looked down, she could see his cock in his hand. Her body always reacted to the sight of him fully aroused and erect. She was so wet that she didn't even need him to stretch her before he was finding her entrance with the head of his cock and then pushing in all in one stroke.
It took her breath away, and she struggled to catch it as her body sang with pleasure. She was so full and so pleased to be so, clenching almost desperately around him.
"Gates," Galen muttered under his breath. "You feel so good. How do you always feel so good?"
Nora laughed breathlessly for him and shrugged a shoulder, tipping her face up for a kiss.
Galen obliged her and then started to move, setting a pace that was easy and slow, but deep at the same time. Every time he bottomed out, she felt it, and she couldn't help but gasp, her body jolting with pleasure.
"Galen," she moaned. "Galen, Galen, Galen."
"Say it," he murmured, looking at her with eyes that were heated and soft, almost molten. "Please."
She didn't need to ask him what he wanted her to say. She already knew. "I love you," she said, voice high with her pleasure as he thrust into her harder once the words were out of her mouth.
"I love you," she said again, and Galen groaned and started pounding her right up against the wall.
Nora's arms were around his neck now, and she knew she was clawing at his back with the pleasure that was forcing itself through her, building her up and up and up until she knew she was going to burst with it.
"I love you," Nora managed to get out one last time before she was exploding into a million little pieces, breathless and wrecked, wrung out and oh so pleased.
But of course, Galen wasn't done yet, and Nora loved the part after she came the first time where he just kept going at her, seeking his own pleasure. His stamina was impressive, and she knew that before he came, she would be falling over the edge, headfirst into her second orgasm.
The night before he'd managed to make her come four times before they had called it quits and gone to sleep, and Nora wondered if they could break that record today. It was her birthday, so she didn't see why they shouldn't try.
"We're going out?"
One hour and two orgasms later, Nora was finishing her breakfast, only slightly cold now, and looking at Galen confused. "Later," he said, nodding. "There's a surprise."
Nora smiled. "Okay, good. Because I had an idea for what I want to do until then."
"You're gonna be the death of me," he said, but allowed himself to be led to the bedroom and pushed onto the bed on his back so that Nora could use his face as a throne.
For a big man who loved being rough and in charge, he also took a great deal of pleasure from holding onto her hips and using his tongue to pleasure her while she bucked and rode his face. Of course, before it was all said and done, she ended up on his cock, riding it and laughing when he smacked her butt, so it really was a win-win.
Three hours later: "We should get cleaned up."
"The shower is big enough for two, you know."
"Not two Amakari," Galen pointed out.
Nora hit him. "Then it's a good thing I'm not an Amakari, isn't it?" She got up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom, giving him a good view of her butt and hips as she moved.
It didn't take long for him to follow her and press her against the cold glass of the shower stall so he could kiss her for long minutes.
Two hours later: "We're gonna be late."
"Worth it."
Finally, they walked into the circle, and Nora wasn't surprised to see everyone gathered. It was funny to remember how much this place had scared her when she'd first arrived. She had stood there, waiting for them to judge her, sure that they were going to decide that she deserved to be cast out for crimes she was sure she hadn't committed.
But they had welcomed her instead, and now she was basically one of them. She had her own spot in the circle, she took her turn in the cooking rotation, she could speak to any one of the gathered throng by name. They knew her as the human woman among them, as Nora who could often be found helping Ashera or Carro, as Galen's partner, and just as herself.
When they finally arrived, Donlan approached. "It's about time," he said, and Nora fought not to blush when his eyes darted to her neck. "Happy birth day," he said to her, smiling warmly and holding out his hands.
Nora let go of Galen's hand to place hers on top of Donlan's and smile back. "Thank you," she said.
"Come and see." He motioned for her to follow him when he had drawn his hands back, and she did, stepping into the center of the circle where a feast had been laid.
The platters were piled high with meats and breads, fruits and oddly shaped vegetables, and in the center of it was what she was pretty sure was a cake.
Nora blinked. "Is birthday cake a thing here, too?" They had celebrated the birthdays of a few of the others who were into that sort of thing before, and she'd never seen cake on the table.
"Nope." Something hard and person shaped crashed into Nora's back, and she laughed as Carro hugged her from behind. "I did some research on human birth day traditions and saw that you usually have cake. So Ashera and I made one."
Ashera smiled at them from across the circle. "We did our best," she said. "It might not be what you're used to."
"I'm sure it's wonderful. Thanks, both of you."
"You're one of us now," Carro said.
"You are," someone else agreed, and a murmur went through the assemblage of them, all concurring that Nora was a part of their group now.
It was so heartening to hear that, and to feel like she belonged.
When Donlan called the circle to order, they all sat down, and it turned out that nearly everyone had made or gotten her a little something, in addition to the meal. It was all small things, little trinkets or articles of clothing that they’d found or purchased to make her smile, and Nora thanked them all sincerely.
Carro’s gift brought her to tears, though. She and Galen had apparently spent time scouring the trade moon trying to find the parts that she needed to be able to put together a communicator that could contact Earth.
“I’m still working on the finer parts of it,” Carro said, smiling at her. “The signal will reach Earth easily, but you can’t tap into their communication devices yet. I’m close, though.”
Nora laughed through her tears and hugged her and then kissed Galen in full view of everyone.
He only pulled her closer.
In that moment, Nora was sure that she had never felt so at peace with who she was and what she had before. There was still plenty for her to do, for her to learn, but she didn't feel that burning dissatisfaction with the way things were that she had felt for most of her life before this. It was easy to just sit back and enjoy the food and the company and the way she didn't even have to work to find out that she belonged here.
Galen stayed by her side, and she ate and laughed with everyone. When it was time for the cake, Carro insisted that they had to do it the way she had read about it being done.
"You have to make a wish and then blow out the candles," she said.
What passed for candles were definitely not what Nora was used to when she thought of the word, and she didn't want to ask Carro what she had used to mimic the Earth tradition. Instead she waited for her friend to light them and then glanced around at everyone before she closed her eyes, made her wish, and then blew hard enough to snuff out the tiny flames.
Carro collected the 'candles' and wiped frosting off on her ever present grease rag before tucking them back into her pocket.
Nora just laughed and told Donlan, who was doing the slicing, how big of a piece she wanted.
Later that evening, she was sitting outside, looking up at the stars with Galen at her side.
He’d been there all day, right beside her, and he didn’t show any signs of leaving any time soon. The sky was different here than it had been back on Earth, but Nora still got the same feeling of peace when she looked up, even though she knew there was probably more out there in space than she could even fathom.
“Did you have a good day?” Galen wanted to know.
“I did,” Nora replied, turning her head to smile at him. “One of the best birthdays I can remember.”
He smiled back and leaned down to kiss her forehead lightly. “Good. Still happy with your choice to stay here?”
It was phrased innocently enough, but Nora knew Galen well enough by now that she could hear the real question in it. He had been the one to step forward and ask her to stay when she’d been moments from leaving, but Nora knew that if she expressed a desire to leave and go home, he’d be the first to tell her to go. Even if it broke his heart. She appreciated that more than she knew how to say, so they just didn’t talk about it usually.
But she didn’t even have to think about it. Yes, Nora missed her family and her friends. She missed the life she’d had before, and wondered how things would have worked out if she’d gone back, or if she’d never been taken in the first place.
Still, she knew what the answer was. “I’m right where I want to be,” Nora said, leaning into Galen’s side. And it was the truest thing she knew.