Chapter Nine: Breakdown
If he was being honest, Galen would admit that he had been worried about what would happen when Nora got her memories back. He had half expected her to suddenly remember that she was too good for him, that she had someone she loved back on Earth, or some other thing that would make it so that she would take herself away from him.
It was...strange to find that he cared for her that much, considering how rocky things between them had been at the start. But now she was a part of his life, and holding her in his arms was as natural as talking to Carro or arguing with Ashera. He didn't want to have to give that up.
Of course, now that she remembered who she was and where exactly she had come from, there was the chance that she would want to go back there.
She hadn't exactly been brought here of her own free will, and it made sense that she might want to go back to her home and her family and her life.
It put Galen in a dark mood to think about it, and he spent some time down at the training ring, taking his frustrations out on those who were fool enough to challenge him. He left them panting in the dirt and found that he still didn't feel better.
"Are you mad at Nora?" Carro asked him one day, hands on her hips. "Because that's stupid. Even for you."
Galen huffed. "No," he snapped. "I'm not mad at her. I'm mad at myself."
"For what?"
"For getting attached to someone who's just going to leave."
Carro opened her mouth and then closed it again, clearly thinking better of whatever she had been about to say. "Well," she said, after a few more seconds had passed. "She might not."
Galen speared her with a look. "Why would she stay here? I bet whatever she had on Earth is a lot better than anything we could give her here. We're barely surviving as it is."
"That's not true. We're doing great here, and Nora knows that. You're just being defeatist."
"But--"
"Defeatist!" Carro said louder, cutting him off. "Anyway, stop moping. There's some parts I need for something I'm working on, and I need to go trade for them. Want to come be my dumb muscle?"
She said it like it was a term of endearment, and Galen couldn't help but crack a smile. "Yeah, okay," he said. "Let's go."
It had been a while since he'd been off moon, and the trip relaxed him a bit. Being in Carro's presence was always good for that. She had an infectious enthusiasm that always put him in a good mood, and soon enough he was chatting along with her as they headed to make their trades.
Llmyr was there, as he always was, and they conducted their business, Carro doing most of the talking.
Once the trades were done, Llmyr leaned in close. "I would be careful, were I you, my friends," he said, voice more sibilant than usual.
"What?" Galen asked. "Why?"
"There are rumors, you see. Rumors that the Imperials are on the move."
"There were rumors about that the last time we were here," Galen pointed out.
Llmyr nodded. "Yes. And they proved true. I have heard that they are looking for those who hide from them. There was a small colony just outside of Kalestra. You've heard of them?"
Both Carro and Galen nodded. They were farmers and they mostly kept to themselves, which could be said of pretty much everyone who hid from the Imperials.
"They are gone now," Llmyr told them. "Wiped away."
Now that was unsettling news. Usually the Imperials just went about their business and only tried to keep the rebellious from cropping up in the Allied Planets. They didn't often go seeking those who were living outside of their influence.
"Kalestra isn't even in their jurisdiction," Carro said. "Most of those people probably were never from one of the Planets."
Llmyr nodded again. "True. But there were rumors that there were some of theirs hiding there, and so they went and they destroyed."
Neither of them were particularly surprised to hear that, of course, but it didn't bode well. If the Imperials were just looking for reasons to wipe people out, then it probably wouldn't take long before Alinsoth was found.
"Thanks, Llmyr," Galen said. "We'll be careful."
It couldn't be a coincidence, all of the things that had happened. The flyovers and the bounty hunter showing up. All of that had happened before, but it was different when you added in the Imperials actually looking for trouble. Too many people knew who they were and where they were living. If the Imperials wanted to find them, it wouldn't be hard.
Carro was silently fuming beside him, but she waited until they had gotten back into the shuttle to let her anger out.
"Osera just wants to own the whole galaxy!" she exclaimed, hitting the console with a fist. "He won't rest until every planet and pocket of people is under his control. He's disgusting."
"Yeah," Galen agreed because there was no question about that. "But we have to be careful here. If he finds us..." Well. It was different than Kalestra, at least. No innocent people would be killed, considering they were all of them fugitives in their own ways.
"We need to get back," Carro said. "We have to warn everyone." She set their coordinates, and they took off.
Galen wanted to kick himself.
He'd gotten so caught up with Nora and how good it felt to be with her that he'd almost forgotten about the Imperials and the threat they posed to his way of life and everything he held dear now.
The only way to survive out here on the fringes was to be vigilant always, and he’d gone and lulled himself into a false sense of security. It was stupid. He knew what happened to people who got too comfortable and complacent.
They usually ended up dead.
Nora was waiting for him when he got back to Alinsoth. Carro had gone to tell Donlan what they had learned from Llmyr, and Galen just needed to walk for a while. He had planned on maybe doing more sparring, but his heart wasn’t in it. He hadn’t felt this conflicted since he was trying to decide if he should leave his mother and run away from the Allied Planets, and he’d been so young then. So stupid.
She smiled at him when he walked up to his house, though it dropped a little when she saw his face.
“What happened?”
“Nothing,” he said, stepping past her. “What are you doing here?”
“Uh. I came to see you. I do that sometimes,” she said, sounding unsure now. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m an idiot, but I’m fine.”
“You’re not an idiot, Galen,” Nora said, and she put her hand on his arm. “What’s going on?”
He jerked away from her with a growl. “Just leave it, Nora.”
He was being a jerk, he knew that, but at this point he was too out of control to deal with it.
“Fine,” she said. “I just...I just wanted to help.”
“You can’t help!” he burst out. “You’re the problem.”
Her eyes went wide and she took a step back. “What did I do?”
“You...you distract me.” Even as he said it, he knew it was a stupid thing to say.
It wasn't actually Nora's fault that he had developed feelings for her, and it wasn't like she was the one who had done the pursuing here. But he was just so keyed up and...yeah, he could admit it in his own mind, scared. He was afraid. Galen had never had to think about what he would do if the Imperials came for him, and he didn't want to have to think about it now.
Lashing out was easier, and from the way Nora's jaw was setting in irritation, she wasn't going to let him get away with talking to her like that.
"Distraction from what?" she asked. "Stomping around like you own the place? Interrogating people about what they do? Giving Ashera a hard time? What exactly am I keeping you from, Galen? And let's not forget who started all of this. You wanted me to stay away from you, so I was doing that. I was leaving you be, and you came after me. This isn't my fault."
His anger was turning into panic now, and he wished he had more hair so he could tear it out in frustration. "I know that!" he all but shouted.
"Then why are you turning this on me?" she demanded back.
"I don't know! I'm just...I don't know, Nora, okay? I've never been in this position before."
"What position?" she cried. "What is going on?"
Galen sighed and went to slump on his sofa, needing to be sitting down. He put his head in his hands and leaned over, focusing on his breathing. "The Imperials," he said finally, voice soft.
"What?"
"Carro and I went to do some trading today, and we heard that the Imperials are on the move. Usually they stay put. They focus on holding their power where it is. But they wiped out a whole colony clear on the other side of the quadrant, just because there were some people who had fled from the Allied Planets there. Innocent people died, and now all that territory has been claimed in the name of the Imperials."
He couldn't see her face, but he could hear her sharp intake of breath. "Oh my god," she said. "They're coming here?"
"Probably," Galen admitted. "We've been living outside of their rule for a long time now, and if they find out we're here, they won't let it stand."
"Oh god. And you...you think I..."
"No!" Galen's head snapped up. "No, Nora. I don't think you have anything to do with it. Not anymore."
"Then why were you so mad at me?"
"Because I used to be prepared for this. I knew it was going to happen one day, and I used to be ready for it. I trained for the day that I'd have to defend my freedom. And then you came along and I got all distracted with kissing you and sharing pleasure with you. It's not like me."
"From what I've heard, it's exactly like you," Nora muttered under her breath.
Galen heard it and he snorted a laugh. "Not like this. Not to distraction." He didn't know what that meant about his feelings for her, and he didn't want to look at them too closely. "And the worst part is that you're going to leave one day, and I'll probably end up dead."
Her face morphed from indignation to horror in rapid succession. "Why would you say that?" she asked.
"Because you have to go back to where you belong, Nora. You have friends and family and whatever else. I know you do. You won't stay here. You can't. If they come for us, then you need to be gone before they get here."
"Galen—”
"Don't." He cut her off. "Don't argue. You need to leave. You know it as well as I do. We can talk to Carro. She can modify the shuttle to take you home. Or we can see what we can do with the ship from the bounty hunter. Maybe that's a better idea. Carro will know."
"Galen—”
"It's for the best. If something happened to you here, I don't...I don't think I can protect you from this."
"Galen!"
He stopped talking when she shouted at him. "What?"
"Stop it. Stop telling me what I have to do. I'm an adult. I can make my own decisions."
"I know that, but—”
"But nothing. Maybe you're panicking for no reason. Did you ever think of that? Maybe they won't even come here. Maybe everything will be fine, and you're trying to send me away before we even know if it's called for."
He frowned, looking at her intently. "Don't you want to go home?"
Nora opened her mouth and then closed it again, like she wasn't sure how to answer that. "I..." she sighed. "I do, but...I don't know. I'm still coming to terms with remembering everything and being kidnapped, and I still want to know who grabbed me and why I was brought here. I can't just go home and forget about it."
Galen wanted to ask her if she could go home and forget about him, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. Instead he just nodded. "I can understand that."
"And I can understand you being worried about me."
"Nora, I—” Galen sighed. He had never said anything like this to anyone before. "It's not just that I'm worried about you. I'm...I'm scared."
"Oh." It was clear that the revelation had brought Nora up short. "I didn't know you did scared."
He laughed, but there was no humor in it. "I'm just a person, Nora," he said. "I get scared, too. I left the Planets for a reason, and I stand by that reason. I don't want my past to show up here. Nothing good can come from that."
Nora glanced away. "I know what you mean," she said. She wrapped her arms around herself as Galen watched, and he sighed once more and then sat up, patting his thigh in invitation.
"Come here."
She only hesitated for a second before she made her way over and sat in his lap, letting him replace her arms around herself with his. He held her close, burying his face in her hair as he let the tension leave his body slowly. "Do you hate your past?" he asked her, voice soft.
"No," she replied after a moment. "I just. I wasn't happy. I didn't know who I was, but I had all these ideas about who I should be, and I was so impatient to be that person. I don't know what I thought would happen, and I just kept waiting for it. It was so much easier when I didn't know who I was and I was just making it up as I went."
Galen hummed softly, taking that in. "When I didn't know who I was, I was scared," he admitted. "I had been one thing for so long that trying to be someone else was hard. I didn't know where to start."
"But you did it," Nora said. "I can't imagine you being any different than you are now."
"Finding yourself is easy when you don't have another choice," he said. "I couldn't be the person I was anymore, so I had to figure things out if I wanted to survive."
"Mm. That makes sense."
"Do you not want to go back?"
Now it was her turn to sigh and she leaned into him even more. "I don't know. I have to, though, don't I?"
"Probably."
He wished it didn't have to be that way. He wished that he could just tell her that she could stay with him and everything would be alright. But Galen had no way to guarantee that things wouldn't go badly here, and he didn't want Nora to get caught up in that. If he survived and she didn't he would never forgive himself.
"Will you tell me about Earth now that you remember?" he asked, needing to think about something else.
Nora nodded. "Sure. What do you want to know?"
"What did your parents do?"
"Well, my father designs buildings. There are buildings all over the town I live in that he helped get made."
"That's impressive. He must like leaving his mark on the town."
"He does. It's one of his favorite things. My mom—”
"Galen!?"
Before Nora could finish her sentence, Carro's frantic voice was coming through the window. Galen frowned and turned his head to see her standing there, looking horrified. "What is it?" he asked, nudging Nora from his lap so he could get up and go to the door.
Carro twisted her hands together in front of her. "It's bad, Galen. It's really bad."
He didn't even need her to say it.
"They're here?"
"Not yet," she said, but I picked them up on the scanners. "It won't be long."