CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The day that my world came crashing down could have been just any other day. I had woken early at Daddy's and had seen him off in the morning with a kiss.
When I was here, Daddy was okay with me doing some study at his house when he wasn't there, just so long as I didn't make a mess of the house that I didn't clean up, he didn't really mind what I did when he wasn't around.
I should have read the signs when I tried to get out of the house for the first time, and the door wouldn't open. I called Daddy and told him the door wouldn't open for me and he was confused, "Is the lock broken?" He asked.
I sighed and tried it again. "I don't know." I said down the phone, "I just can't open it."
There was silence down the phone for a few moments before David told me, "That's okay. I can be home in half an hour, is that okay?"
I nodded, then realising he couldn't hear me I told him, "That should be fine. I'll wait here."
Feeling a little stressed as I wasn't able to get out of this house, I decided the only thing I could do was a little more coloring.
When Daddy arrived home he found me sitting on the floor, tongue out the side of my mouth concentrating on a colouring book sitting in my lap.
Daddy chuckled and we chatted a bit - it was a nice novelty to have him home in the middle of the day - before Daddy asked me, "Did you try the back door?"
He has asked it as an off-handed comment, as if he knew I must have tried it but my face told him I hadn't. He took a few strides through the house and opened the backdoor without a problem. When he turned around to face me, I felt stupid. Who doesn't try the back door when the front door doesn't work?
Apparently the front door hadn't worked because it had been locked with a key, whereas if I locked it from the inside when he had left it wouldn't still be locked. I sighed and shook my head at the whole thing. I had wasted half an hour because one, I hadn't locked the door from the inside when Daddy left as I usually did and two, when I couldn't get out I hadn't done the logical thing and try the back door, I had simply sat down with my coloring.
Daddy was forgiving, but I could tell he thought I had been silly.
When I finally started my day, I was running late for my first class. I went to class and about half way through, someone who worked for the university came in and handed me a note. I read it while the professor chatted with the staff member then when the staff member left and the professor asked me if everything was okay I told her that yes it was.
Or at least at that point I didn't know if it was okay or not.
When I had a moment, I went to the office on the note and met with someone who organised the transfer of college credits.
He was a middle-aged man with greying hair and a cork accent. I was getting better with accents all the time and it made me smile when I asked someone and I had guessed right. He wasn't interested in playing along however.
"I was looking at your college credits here, and I think we could have you down to only a few classes here to get your degree." He told me, I had been expecting this so wasn't surprised.
"There's one problem though." He told me and I felt my body tense. I didn't like his tone of voice. "I had to seek parental permission. It was something to do with the university you're coming from. American universities sometimes do this with international transfers, make us contact the parents of under-twenty-ones and ask for permission to enrol you."
I could imagine how happy my parents would be to hear that I was going to be a creative writing major here in Ireland, rather than pre-law. I could still go to law school because of a technicality in international university education, but they wouldn't see it that way. All they would hear was that I was studying creative writing, something they didn't want for me and something they hadn't even been told I was doing.
This wasn't going to end well. I felt my heart sink.
"Okay..." was all I managed to say before the little man from Cork took a deep breath.
"Your parents have said they won't consent for you to study creative writing, and that they want you to return to America immediately." He told me and seeing my face immediately after the news his eyes dropped away from mine as he told me, "I am so sorry."
Tears burst out of my eyes. I couldn't believe it, not only were they unhappy, but they were trying to force me to come home. I didn't want to do it. I wouldn't do it. I couldn't leave my Daddy right now, not when we were so happy and things were going so well.
Just the thought of returning to my old life in the states didn't make sense. Returning to a life like the one in the US felt like living a poor life. Sure, my parents had money but I had never been rich where it counted - rich with the love of friends and a partner - like I was right now.
It mattered so much to me that I had built this life here, even if it hadn't been very long. I felt like I had grown up while away. I had truly grown up and grown into myself like I never had before and that meant so much to me.
To be suddenly taken away from all of that by my parents just because they were not one hundred per cent happy with the choices I made hurt.
I felt the tears welling inside my eyes and made my excuses to leave. I begged the man from Cork not to change anything yet, telling him that I would work through this with my parents. He nodded and let me leave, sensing, I was sure, the emotional outburst that was about to come.
I got away from his office as quickly as possible and had actually left campus when I realised that I should talk to Daddy.
Pulling out my cell phone, I dialled his number. We weren't going to see one another tonight as I had work to do for an assignment but when I dialled he picked up anyway.
"Hello?" He asked.
"Hi. It's me." I told him through sniffles.
"Are you okay?" He asked, immediately concerned.
"Yeah, I, well no. I am not okay." I told him.
"What happened?" He asked.
I took a deep breath then and released it all at once. It was several beats before I could answer, "My parents are saying that I should leave. They have to give some permission for me to study in Ireland, and they're not giving it."
Silence stretched down the phone for a long moment before Daddy asked, "Where are you?"
I looked around and told him what street I was on. I had just walked away without thinking of where I was going.
"I'll come get you." He told me before hanging up.
I was left with a dead line, but felt somewhat relieved that Daddy would be here soon.
That was until I realised that I didn't know how soon he would be - he hadn't told me where he was when I called - I thought it was likely that he would be at the university considering it wasn't yet five pm.
There was a nearby brick fence that I sat on. I put my head on my hands and cried. I felt hopeless. Everything I loved about this place would soon disappear like a mirage. I wouldn't get the life I had been dreaming about anymore.
There would be no living with Daddy while I finished my degree, there would be no periods of time spent with Sammy where we both chilled out and laughed about everything. I would miss them both, they were so close to me even though it had been a relatively short time I had never had relationships like these ones before.
I guess this was what happened when you studied abroad, but it didn't feel quite real anyway, it felt special and it felt wonderful but when I thought about how I could lose it all, it didn't feel like this was really happening at all. It couldn't be, I thought as I cried. I didn't want it to be.
There was this sense of unrealness about it all as I sat there, crying about how everything felt so hopeless and how useless I was at fixing my own problems.
When Daddy appeared out of nowhere and wrapped his arms around me, that sense of unrealness lifted. This was real, it was happening. It wasn't simply going to stop happening just because I wanted it to.
Daddy was here to help though. I wasn't doing it alone, I had his support. As he held me to his body, I felt sure it would be okay. We just had to overcome this, together.
The thought of what would happen if we couldn't was enough to choke me up. But I wouldn't keep crying. Now was a time for action, and Daddy was here to help me take that action.