This was a brand-new feeling altogether. Every little minute aspect of being close to Ben was exciting and surprising. I had never touched another man the way I was touching Ben. I wracked my brain, trying to dig up any other experience that could even come close to the breathless thrill I was experiencing right now, wedged in a doorway between the hinge and the sexiest man I had ever laid eyes on. I was coming up empty. Nothing was as mind-blowing. Nothing had ever made my heart pound and skip and leap like a panicked rabbit like this before, not to my recollection anyway.

There was only one other event I could think of that was even in the same ballpark. Once when I was a child and my parents allowed me to ride this ancient, rickety roller coaster at some low-budget amusement park we visited once during my childhood. I was still small then, and the world felt huge around me, like I could never touch the majority of it, and everything was a mystery. They had strapped me into the seat between two teenagers who were way cooler than I was, and then the ride began. I could still recall the sensation of negative and positive g-force slamming me forward and pushing me backward. I remembered the big drop, how my heart froze up and the breath caught in my throat as I gawked wide-eyed down the tracks to the miniaturized world below. There had been a split second during the roller coaster ride when the thought crossed my mind that it might malfunction, that I might die there, sitting between two strangers, far from home. I was probably about ten years old at the time, facing my mortality for the first time in my young life. But that death I was so fearful of never happened. I survived, with no scars but only the memory of the most thrilling moment of my life thus far. Nothing had ever been able to top that feeling-- even though I had sometimes tried to reach deep within myself and find that peak again. I never did find it.

Well, until now, that was.

Because the way Ben’s lips felt so soft and pliable against mine, the way his large hands roved up my arms, around my broad shoulders, and up my neck to gently cup my face… this was an all-new level of excitement. There was a little part of me, a quiet voice in the back of my head that reminded me I had never done this before, that this was not who I’ve always been. Was I falling into a situation I could never be prepared for? Was I about to jump out of an airplane uncertain of whether my parachute would even open? Was I teetering on the edge of the land of no return? The way Ben kissed me made me want to shove it all aside, put away my silly fears and just lean into the experience, lap it all up and commit it to precious memory. But my mind kept replaying these cruel warning bells, clanging painfully in my head.

You’re straight, remember?

I wanted to roll my eyes and physically shove that reminder out of my mind. It did not make a difference, not right now, not with Ben’s glorious body so close to mine in the low light of the staff bedroom. The nervous part of my mind, the naysaying part, kept trying to tell me that this was only happening because of the drink we shared together. Maybe it was just intoxication flowing through my veins and making me want to risk everything for this unbelievably handsome, sweet, witty man I hardly knew. But I couldn’t even pretend that was the case for a moment. I was not drunk. Hell, I was barely tipsy. I had done much stupider things with less alcohol in my system than this, and I could tell the difference. The feelings I was experiencing for Ben right now were not a result of the drink we shared. They were separate, and they were real. And as long as he was standing so close to me, the prickling heat radiating off of his beautiful body to mingle with mine, there was no denying any of it. I couldn’t detangle myself from this moment even if I had wanted to.

And for better or worse, I really, really did not want to. In fact, I was pretty dead set on doing whatever it took to keep this ball rolling. I didn’t want this just to be a passionate kiss and then a dead end. I wanted more. Hell, I needed more. I just was not sure how to ask for it. After all, this was new territory for me. I knew how to sleep with women. That was fairly straightforward for me, pun intended. I had experience in that department, and women no longer made me nervous. I had successfully pulled off many one-night stands with women over the course of my life. That was an arena I felt totally comfortable moving about in. With women, I knew what to expect. I knew how to woo them, how to be gentle and go slowly so as to be a gentleman.

Ben, though, was another story. I had a strong inkling that he would not need me to be so gentle. I was not going to break him. He wasn’t made of glass-- his body was so solid and strong and exhilarating next to mine. I didn’t have the keys to unlock him just yet. He made me very nervous. But only in a good way. He made me want to unravel the mystery between us. He made me want to ride the roller coaster again, no matter how fast and how high up and how hard it would be. I did not know what to do, but I was desperate for him to teach me.

His hands gently cupped my face, his fingertips soft and soothing against my skin as he kissed me. I could not stop focusing on how surprisingly soft his lips were. I had always expected kissing a man to be completely different from kissing a woman. I had expected more sharpness, more rough-hewn edges. And of course, there were the rough parts of Ben’s body I knew I just had not discovered yet, but his lips… I felt like I was kissing an angel. His mouth tasted like whiskey and honey, a sweetness that intrigued and aroused me. I found myself unable to pull myself away from him. I simply had no desire to break away. Here, our bodies pressing closer and closer together while his tongue gently probed into my mouth and I felt the low growl of a moan vibrate in his throat, I was in heaven. Nothing had ever prepared me for the overwhelming tidal waves of emotional and physical magnetism that crackled between the two of us like a bright branch of lightning cracking across a night sky.

With my hands ever so slightly shaking, I lifted my arms to drape around his shoulders, pulling him in and keeping him close. The last thing I wanted was for him to pull away. I needed him here. I needed him as close as I could get him. Ben was beautiful in a way I had never seen before. There was a time when I thought the word “beauty” was only reserved for supermodels or sunsets or flowers. It was a flourish on a word in calligraphy. It was a pale purple flower unveiling and unfurling in the dewy mist of an early morning, blooming for a short splendorous hour before retreating again. It was always meant for works of art: Van Gogh sunflowers, Monet lily pads, Renoir roses. But I was slowly uncovering a new form of beauty that reached down deep into my soul. Michelangelo’s male figures, muscled and bending, always bending like a flower toward the sun. A garden of tensing skin and bone, of glorious hair and passionate eyes. Strong hands. Powerful legs.

Lips as full and sensuous as the wildest fantasy.

We broke apart for just a moment, both of us desperate to catch our breath. I stared into Ben’s handsome face, my eyes wide, taking him all in. I found myself marveling at the sharp curve of his rounded, high cheekbones. I was entranced by the cupid’s bow divot of his upper lip, parted slightly from the lush bottom lip as he drew in a tight, measured breath. His brow ridge furrowed ever so slightly as he looked at me, those warm brown eyes searing right through me, straight down into the unplumbed depths of my trembling soul.

He could see it all: my fear, my wonder, my desire. And he did not turn away from it. He was not put off by anything he saw in me. In fact, the softest, faintest impression of a smile turned up the corners of his lips as his eyes softened. His thumb lightly traced over my chin, my lower lip. A shiver of pleasure rippled down through my body, and I knew he could sense it. I knew he understood just how much power he held over my body.

But that smile reassured me, and I gently shut my eyes, leaning my face into his soft, warm palm. He was holding me in a way I had never been held before. I felt bizarrely safe and protected, like nothing dark, nothing cruel could reach me as long as we were wrapped in each other’s arms. I had never known an embrace like this one.

“God, you are so gorgeous,” Ben murmured softly. My heart began to race.

I opened my eyes slowly, taking in his every stunning feature one by one as his eyes bored into mine. I even wondered for one silly moment if he could read my thoughts.

But truth be told, he didn’t need telepathy to know what I was thinking. My body did all the talking all on its own. I wanted to be impossibly close to him. I leaned against his taller frame, feeling his strong chest, taut abdominal muscles, and the warm hardness of his cock straining through his designer slacks. That gave me another little thrill-- to know just how badly he wanted me. And when I pressed into him, I noticed that my cock was hard, too. Hard and twitching and desperate to be touched. It was a powerful need I could not ignore.

“I want you,” I whispered, leaning in to gently kiss him again.

When we broke apart, he gazed deep into my eyes. “I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not certain about,” Ben told me gently.

Now it was my turn to smile. “I know what I want. I am certain,” I assured him. “I just need you to...to show me the way.”

As though I had suddenly stumbled upon the magic word, Ben’s hand slipped down from my face to reach for the doorknob. Circling an arm around my waist to pull me into the room, he shut the door behind us and flicked on the light. We were alone now, for good. Nobody could stop by and interrupt. Nobody could take me away. This was going to happen, even if I wasn’t sure how to begin.

Luckily, though, Ben was more than willing to lead me.

He firmly took my hand and pulled me along toward the bed across the room, his thumb tracing soft circles on the back of my hand to soothe me. Every step he took was soft and quiet, every look he gave me over his shoulder only made me shiver with desire. I had never longed for intimacy with anyone to this extent before. I had never wanted anyone or anything as desperately as I wanted Ben.

We stopped at the foot of the bed, and Ben put his hands on my shoulders, gently pressing me down, guiding me to sit on the edge of the bed as he stood over me. I swallowed hard, looking up at him with equal parts longing and worry. What if I couldn’t keep up? What if I wasn’t enough for him?

But when he tugged at the bottom of my shirt, I let him pull it up over my head. I heard him inhale sharply as he looked at my bare, muscular chest. I made sure to take pretty good care of myself and my body, and it showed. Ben bit his lip, looking at me like he was some kind of ravenous predator and I was a delicious prey animal. But instead of scaring me, the look of hunger in his eyes only turned me on more. I wanted him to take control. I wanted him to take exactly whatever it was he wanted from me. And I was more than willing to give it.

He leaned down and kissed me again, his tongue pressing into my mouth as his hands moved down my cheeks, my neck, my shoulders. His fingertips ran ticklish trails down my chest and stomach and finally down to my jeans. He began to slowly, tantalizingly unbutton and unzip my jeans, still kissing me sensually. I held my breath, giving in as he pulled down my jeans and boxers all at once. I kicked off my shoes as he stripped off my clothes until I was completely naked, my cock bouncing erect and engorged with need between my thighs. I was breathing raggedly now, so caught up in the thrill of something totally new.

Ben stepped back for a moment, his brown eyes never once breaking contact with me as he slowly lifted up his shirt and tossed it aside. My eyes widened. His chest was so broad and powerful looking. His every muscle was taut and tensing, and I found myself mesmerized as he began to take off his pants and briefs along with his expensive shoes. When his cock sprang free into the air, my jaw dropped. His shaft was absolutely massive and slightly curved; the skin looked utterly smooth and velvety. To my surprise, my mouth was salivating as I looked him over. I longed to feel that smooth, soft skin in my hands. I ached to taste the shiny, glossy bead of precome glistening at the tip of his glorious cock. I was dizzy with need, overwhelmed with desire for this handsome near stranger’s body.

“You… you’re amazing,” I mumbled breathlessly.

Ben smiled, those brown eyes twinkling as he sauntered up to me and knelt down in front of me on the floor. He looked up into my eyes, licking his lips as I watched him slowly wrap one hand, then the second, around my shaft. I gasped with surprise at how good it felt instantly, like I had been waiting for this exact moment my entire life. He gradually began to pump up and down, letting his palms slide loosely around my twitching cock while I groaned and tilted my head back, closing my eyes. I gave in to the intense pleasure, the sensation of Ben’s fingertips playing with the sensitive head of my cock, squeezing at the base, slowly tightening his grip and quickening the pace of his strokes until he was working my length fast and hard.

“Oh fuck,” I whispered, my whole body tensing up. It felt so fucking good. Nothing had ever moved me quite like this before. Ben seemed to know exactly what my body needed, and he had no qualms, no hesitation whatsoever about giving it to me.

“You like that?” he growled.

Goose bumps pricked up along my arms and legs, and I felt a ripple of intense pleasure wash over me.

“Yes,” I answered. “Please. Please don’t stop.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Ben murmured back to me rather fiendishly.

But to my surprise, he repositioned himself again, never once letting his grip on my cock slacken. I opened my eyes and looked down just in time to see him lean forward and gently tug the head of my shaft between his soft, sensuous lips. I gasped and shuddered as his tongue swathed around the engorged head, swirling in gentle circles as he slowly pulled more and more of me into his warm, wet mouth. I groaned with pleasure as he began to suck me off, his mouth working in perfect, expert tandem with his hands, pumping my hard length while I began to rock my hips and clutch at the bedsheets for purchase. His mouth was amazing. Nobody had ever made me feel so good before. Ben seemed to know what I needed long before I knew it myself. I couldn’t help but let my hands rest at the back of his head, my fingers absently tangling in his short, cropped hair, pushing ever so gently down to keep him sucking my cock. I never wanted him to stop, and I was struggling to keep myself under control.

“God, that feels amazing,” I whimpered, twitching as Ben began to bob up and down faster, taking the full length of my cock into his mouth so that the swollen head brushed the back of his throat.

He moaned, sending vibrations up through my body that only added to the concoction of intense pleasure I felt. He was trying his hardest to get me off now, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I lost control. Ben sucked me harder and harder, increasing the suction until my cock was brushing the inside of his cheeks. He massaged the sensitive base of my cock, bobbing up and down faster and faster until I was gasping for air, my hips pistoning back and forth, essentially fucking his throat. He never once gagged. He didn’t even give me the slightest indication of discomfort. He was so damn good at this, better than I ever thought possible. I was losing control bit by bit, moaning incoherently as my pleasure mounted. Finally, my whole body tensed up for a moment before my cock exploded in Ben’s mouth, twitching violently as every drop of my come spurted down his throat. He didn’t let up at first, sucking me off through the waves of orgasm that made me shiver and keen, as though he couldn’t possibly waste a single precious drop of my come. I leaned back on the bed, overwhelmed with pleasure, staring down at Ben with pure amazement as he cleaned me up eagerly.

Finally, my cock slipped out of his mouth with a wet pop, and I groaned. Ben smiled and licked his lips, his hands smoothing over my pelvis and up my body as he stood up to hover over me, tall and naked. His cock was still rock hard, a marble column between us as he kissed his way up my stomach and chest. When his lips brushed against mine, there was a tangy new taste there: my own. It was thrilling to taste myself on his tongue, but I knew I needed more than that.

I wanted to find out how he tasted. I wanted to return the favor.

I cupped his face in mine, kissing him gently for a moment before I let one of my hands slide down between us. My heart skipped a beat when my fingers brushed against his hard cock. I had never touched a cock that wasn’t my own before. This was all new to me. But after the incredible pleasure he’d given me, I was determined to do everything in my power to give him the same. I wrapped my hand around his massive shaft and slowly began to pump up and down. Ben’s lips fell open, and he began to breathe raggedly as he straddled me. He rolled his hips slightly to meet my strokes, and I found myself fascinated by the flickers of pleasure crossing his handsome face. I felt so powerful, controlling this amazing man’s body with a gentle touch of my hand. He was so sensitive to my every movement, and I could not stop licking my lips, desperate for more than just the sensation of his velvety smooth skin in my palm. I wanted him in my mouth. I wanted to feel his enormous shaft stretching my cheeks, pushing down into my throat. I wanted to be overwhelmed with the thickness and fullness of his member. I wanted to give him everything I had to offer and more. I wanted him to teach me.

“Let me taste you,” I pleaded softly, and he opened his brown eyes to look down at me.

He was sizing me up, trying to determine whether or not I really could handle what he had between his legs. I couldn’t help myself. I licked my lips, my eyes begging him. I watched a muscle in his jaw clench and unclench as my fingers slid up and down around his shaft. He wanted to fuck my mouth, I knew it, but he was trying to hold back. He still thought he needed to be gentle with me. But that wasn’t what I wanted now. I didn’t want him to hold back.

I wanted all of him, and I wanted it now.

“Please. I want your cock in my mouth, Ben,” I told him, my voice gravelly with need.

I could tell that was the last straw. He could no longer restrain himself. With a grunt of almost animalistic need, he moved up so that his cock was just above my face as I lay there. My heart was pounding, my whole body tingling with anticipation. I had never done this before, and he knew it. But as soon as I pulled the head of his swollen member between my lips, I felt perfectly at ease, like this was the moment I had been waiting for my entire life. I sighed and moaned, loving the way his massive length stretched my mouth and made my cheeks ache. The rounded, silky head of his cock tickled the back of my throat, and I found myself totally enamored of that sensation, lifting my head up to take him deeper. By now, Ben was bracing himself against the headboard of the bed while he slowly, gently rolled his hips. His cock slid in and out of my slick mouth as I moaned and whimpered with need. I had never expected to want this so badly, to need his cock in my mouth so desperately. I wanted him to feel as much pleasure as he had given me. I was determined to taste his come. I wanted him to stuff my throat full of his glorious cock.

And it looked as though I was going to get my wish because Ben was gradually losing control. I knew he didn’t want to hurt me, so he was still trying to hold back. But I sucked him harder and faster, with such gusto that even Ben had trouble reining in his desire. Before long, he was rocking his hips and groaning as his cock speared down my throat again and again. I moaned around his enormous size, the pleasure of my full mouth almost making my own cock twitch back to life again.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Ben growled, closing his eyes as he moved faster and faster, fucking my mouth with abandon.

I sucked him as tightly as I could, whimpering and groaning with pleasure. I had never known myself to have such an intense oral fixation, but I was sure as hell learning that now. Ben’s hips snapped forward and backward, his body trembling as he hurtled toward orgasm. I egged him on, bobbing up and down and letting his full length nearly gag me with every thrust. Finally, I felt his body freeze up, and I lifted my head, tightening my suction around his cock as he bellowed my name, his hot come squirting down my throat as I gulped it down eagerly. After a few more short thrusts, he was spent. His softening cock slid out of my mouth, and he collapsed onto the bed next to me, his chest rising and falling dramatically with every desperate breath. I watched him closely, following every beautiful sharp line of his body until, still smiling faintly, he began to drift off to sleep. I lay there beside him, basking in the afterglow of the best sex I had ever experienced, half wishing he would wake up so he could blow me again.

The minutes ticked away into hours as I lay there close to his beautiful naked form, my thoughts scattering in wild directions. I could not have slept if my life depended on it. So I decided to sneak out of bed, leave Ben to rest while I got dressed and went on a nighttime walk to sort out my head.