Chapter Seven
As soon as she emerged from the bathroom, Flynn knew something was wrong. And he knew exactly what it was. Once again, their bodies had spoken before they could have what he now realized was a long overdue talk.
When she tried to pass him in the hall, he put an arm out and stopped her.
She looked up at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Can you take me home while you’re making deliveries, please?”
The sad expression in her eyes stabbed at his heart and gut at the same time. “No, I don’t think so. At least not until we talk.”
Taking her hand in his, he led her to the living room. “Sit,” he said, pointing to one of the recliners before heading to the kitchen. He returned with two bottles of water then sat down on the coffee table in front of her.
“Now, about your fantasy,” he started as he twisted the cap off of one bottle and handed it to her. She took a long drink as she waited for him to continue speaking. “I want to start by saying I’m sorry. As you can tell, my life is crazy busy, but I never meant to hurt you. But as we’ve proven by spending this morning together, we are like flint and steel, sparking firestorms whenever we’re together.”
Gina remained silent, her eyes focused on the top edge of his T-shirt and not his eyes. He could not tell exactly what she was feeling.
“I do have feelings for you, and not just sexual ones. When I’m not with you, I think about you constantly, worry about whether you’re okay, wonder what you’re doing, and if you’re thinking about me,” he went on, reaching out with his free hand and laying it on her thigh. “You could become an addiction I would never want to get over, but I’m not sure if that would be good for either of us.”
He paused when he heard her sniff, but when she did not say anything, he continued. “I find I am more obsessed with you than I ever was my ex-wife, or any other woman I have ever been with. If it wouldn’t put me out of business and into bankruptcy, I would willingly spend every day with you naked and watching you work. I could help act out those sexy scenes, and keep you stress free and writing. Unfortunately, the circumstances of my life demand otherwise, which is why I work so much. Somehow, over the past months, you’ve gotten the impression that you can’t call me when you need me, but you’re wrong. I might not be able to talk to you at that exact moment, but I love hearing from you.”
When Gina lifted her gaze to him, he could see she wanted to say something but watched her fight an internal battle.
“Just say it,” he encouraged gently, needing to hear whatever it was she had to say. “Don’t make it pretty, just get it out so we can deal with it.”
“I stopped calling because you never responded to my calls, texts, or emails. It took a while, but you finally taught me that you have to be in charge, so I stopped trying,” she said softly, sounding so sad his heart clenched in sympathy for her.
She paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “Then, the next time we would talk, you would claim not to have gotten the messages or texts or calls. I finally decided to just give up and try to be happy with whatever you could give me. But it’s been three years, Flynn. For the last couple of months, I’ve been thinking maybe it’s time I walk away and try to meet someone else so you can focus on your relationship with your roommate.”
“Oh, hell no, you don’t,” burst out of him almost before she had finished speaking.
****
Gina blinked in shock at Flynn’s vehement response to her suggestion. Lifting her eyes to meet his, her surprise continued when she saw his expression and then his deep-blue eyes.
He was dead serious.
“I’ve been trying to lighten my load for more than a year but every time I shed one thing, it seems two others come along,” he said, looking more serious than she had ever seen him before. “Tell me what to do. I don’t want to lose you.”
Gina saw the seriousness in his eyes and her heart swelled until her chest hurt. But was it with hope or pain? He was saying everything she wanted to hear, but she still felt skeptical. “Words are fine, but as you’ve told me before, actions speak louder than words.”
She watched as Flynn nodded and swallowed hard. “Give me a chance to prove it to you.”
“How? As you just said, your life is too full. You don’t have room in it for me on a more than hit-and-miss basis.”
“I’ll figure something out,” he said before pushing to his feet. He then reached back and pulled her up as well. “But right now we have furniture to deliver.”
As had happened before, talking with Flynn about personal issues left Gina more confused than if they had not had the discussion. And it still did not answer many of the questions she had. All she could do was wait and see, but she had a heavy feeling that their future together would be short-lived. The last thing she wanted to do was add to his already overloaded schedule, or put pressure on him for something he was unable to give her.
Keeping her thoughts to herself, she followed him to the garage where they loaded three tables and a rocking chair into the back of an already half-full Step Van. She packed up her tablet and the rest of her belongings before climbing into the van without a word. A moment later, Flynn climbed in and laid a clipboard on the seat between them.
“I will figure something out,” he promised as he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck. Pulling her in for a quick, but deep and thorough kiss, Gina was reminded why she had not walked away before now.
She loved him.
****
As the afternoon passed, they drove all over the eastern part of the state, delivering his beautiful furniture to the elite stores that carried his work, Gina delved into the mystery that was Flynn. She asked questions about his childhood and growing up in this town she had moved to only a dozen years before. Though there were times he seemed to hesitate before answering her questions, he did answer every one, even going so far as to tell stories about some of his adventures and the many jobs he had during his lifetime.
At each stop, she waited in the van while he took his clipboard and went inside. Each delivery usually took at least ten or fifteen minutes as he chatted with each customer before unloading whatever one or two pieces they had ordered. Then he would return to the van and check his phone, often responding to texts or calls before they moved on to the next stop.
Since he seemed to have everything under control, Gina pulled out the pad of paper and a pen and began a rough outline of her next story, needing to put the words on paper before she lost her train of thought. She barely noticed when he returned to the truck.
“What are you writing?” he asked as he guided the truck out of the parking lot.
“An idea for a new story,” she answered.
“What’s it about?” he asked, sounding curious.
She stopped writing and looked at him, not sure she should share the gist of this one. Though he had been more than helpful when she reached stumbling blocks on other stories, this was one he might not want to help with, or have written for that matter.
Then she realized she had to tell him. If he did not like it, she would not continue, though what she had in mind would make a story her readers would love. “It’s about us,” she finally said.
“Us, huh? You’re not going to use real names, are you?”
“I never have.”
“What do you mean?”
She met his concerned look with a grin. “I mean, I’ve used friends as characters before and no one knows it’s them I’m writing about. I’ve even used you, or at least parts of you, in stories before. Several stories, in fact. The light’s green.”
Flynn’s eyes widened with shock before he turned his attention back to driving. “I’m not sure what to say to that. I just hope no one recognizes me.”
“Don’t worry, they wouldn’t. And even if anyone did, it’s not like anyone in your world knows that we are more than casual acquaintances. To everyone except you and me, I’m just the lady who delivers those incredible chocolate chip cookies to the station once in a while.”
Her tone grew bitter with each syllable as the need to cry tightened her throat and caused her eyes to fill with tears. Not sure what else to say, Gina turned to stare out the side window, her heart imploding as the reality of their situation finally hit her.
“This isn’t ever going to work, is it?” she whispered several long, tense moments later.
Silence from the other side of the truck answered her. They could not move forward and grow closer to become a real couple unless one of them changed dramatically. While he guarded his privacy like a dog with a new bone in a yard full of competition, she had to stay in the public eye in order to keep her career alive and growing.
Blinking away the sheen of tears from her eyes, Gina saw they were only a couple of miles from her house. All at once, she needed to get away from Flynn. She had to be alone with her pain. “Stop here, please,” she requested, her tone low and tight, and constricted with tears.
Not only did Flynn not speak, he did not stop either. Instead, he drove her home. Once in her driveway, Gina grabbed for her purse and let herself out of the van without a glance in his direction. She could not look at him. It would kill her if she saw relief on his face instead of heart shredding sadness that was multiplying exponentially in her.
Taking a deep breath, she said the only thing she could think of. “Good-bye, Flynn. Be safe and have a good life.”
As she slid the van door closed, she thought she heard him say something but told herself she had to be mistaken. In three years, Flynn had never fought for her, why would now be any different?
She forced herself to keep her head up, back straight, and shoulders back as she crossed the front yard to the front door. As soon as she closed the door, her body slumped with pain as she looked out the window. Flynn’s van sat in the driveway.
He had not raced off as she had expected. Instead, he was staring at the house while talking on the phone. No doubt making another appointment, taking another order, or dealing with someone else’s mini-crisis as he had all afternoon. He hung up a moment later but still did not pull out and leave.
Instead of hanging around to watch him drive away for the last time, Gina walked to the back of the house and into her bedroom. Leaving her shoes at the doorway, she threw herself across the new bed she had bought just the week before with the hope Flynn would someday join her in it on a more regular basis. As the tears began to fall, her stomach hurt so bad that she had to roll to her side and pull her legs to her chest to try to ease the pain.
Would she ever put enough pieces of her shattered heart back together enough to try again with some other man? Or had Flynn, who had been the answer to a prayer, been the last man she would ever love?