I slide the card into my pocket and head over to the table. “You ready to go? The bar’s closing down.”

“Yeah,” Alissa says, standing and taking my hand in hers.

“We’ll see you guys later,” I say as I lead her from the building.

We cross the parking lot and jump in my car. I’m quiet on the way home. There are too many what if’s running through my head right now.

What if I go, will I be signed with them?

What if I stay, will this be my only chance?

What if I go and Alissa won’t wait for me to come back? Will I ever get her back?

What if I go and Alissa says she’ll wait, but Sean worms his way in while I’m gone?

Is the love of my life worth giving up the rest of my life for?

“Are you okay?”

I look over to her beautiful face, lit up from the dash lights. “I’m fine, just thinking.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t tell him he could sit with me. He just came in and sat down.”

“I’m not thinking about that, but I think I do need to have a talk with him. He’s starting to piss me off. And what in the hell does he say that’s so damn funny anyway?”

She laughs. “He’s just being stupid. We don’t really talk about anything. Well, I don’t. He doesn’t shut up.”

I pull the car into the driveway and shut off the engine, but I don’t move. I’m beat from the show we put on, and the stress of the unanswered questions is weighing on me.

Alissa crawls into my lap and pushes my sweaty hair away from my eyes. “You sounded awesome tonight, baby. Who cares if a record label didn’t show up? You’re already a rock star in my eyes.” She slowly leans in, pressing her lips to mine.

That’s when I know: I can’t go.

What’s important in life? Is it becoming a rock star, or is it spending every day with the one you love?

Alissa doesn’t care if I make it big. Hell, she didn’t even know I played guitar when we got together. She’s always loved me for me. I can’t lose this. I can’t lose her. And leaving would be taking too much of a chance.

I decide not to tell her about the offer. I’m just going to keep playing with my band every Saturday and keep her in my bed and away from Sean every night.

Yes, this is an opportunity that most would kill for, me included, but what I have with Alissa is so much more important.

* * *

Sunday is a lazy day for us. We’ve been so busy with the house, work, and the band, that Alissa and I haven’t had much time alone together. We rent a few movies and cuddle up on the couch all day, holding one another and eating more food than either of us can handle. We kiss, touch, tickle, and tease each other throughout the day—not giving in to the other, so we can hold it in and let it build until it can rush out of us tonight.

Just as we’re about to shut off the tv and retire to the bedroom, someone knocks on the door. I stand and answer it to find Sean on the other side. I let him walk in but say, “We were just about to go to bed. Did you need something?”

He plops down on the sofa. “Naa, I don’t need anything. I just came by to say congratulations.”

“Congratulations for what?” I ask confused. I sit on the arm of the couch and put my arm around Alissa’s shoulders.

He sits up, resting his elbows on his knees. “For what? For getting to go on tour with Busted Lip. That’s fucking awesome! When do you leave?”

Alissa looks at me. “Why didn’t you tell me? This is so exciting!” She bounces up and down on the couch.

“I didn’t tell you because I’m not going,” I say, looking only at her. Anger washes over me. Fucking Sean is always sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.

“You’re not going? What the fuck is wrong with you? You know they’re about to be signed by a record label. Why wouldn’t you jump at this chance?” Sean asks, standing.

But I keep my eyes on Alissa. Her eyes focus on mine with her brows pulled together.

I stand and open the door. “I’m sorry, Sean, but I’m really tired and would like to take my girl to bed. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.”

He nods slowly. “Alright, man. See ya.” He walks out, and I close the door behind him before going to the bedroom.

I strip off my clothes and am sliding under the blankets when Alissa walks in. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks while walking around the room, grabbing clothes to change into.

“Because it’s not a big deal.”

She stops and walks over to me, perching on the edge of the bed. “How is this not a big deal, Dane? This is a chance to get everything you’ve ever wanted.”

“They don’t want the whole band, they only want me. I can’t tell the guys I’m leaving the band.” I don’t bother telling her the rest, because I don’t want her blaming herself.

“They’ll understand. You have to do this.”

“I’m not doing it, and that’s final!” My voice automatically rises, and she flinches from my harsh tone. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Can we just not talk about this right now? I don’t want to fight.”

“Fine,” she says as she leaves the room. She walks down the hall and into the bathroom where she closes the door behind her with a firm click. Shutting me out.

I lay my head back against my pillows and stare up at the ceiling. Am I doing the right thing?

* * *

Monday morning comes, and Alissa is still giving me the silent treatment. I don’t know if she’s mad because I didn’t tell her about the offer, or because I’m not taking it. Either way, I’d rather have her mad and not talking to me, than to leave her behind.

I’m clearing a table when my dad yells at me from across the bar. “Dane!”

I turn and look at him without answering.

“My office.” He points to the back and turns and walks away.

I finish wiping the table clean and set my tray down before walking into his office to find him pacing the floor.

“What’s up, Dad?”

He stops and spins on his heels to look at me. His face is growing redder by the second, and the crease that forms between his eyes when he’s mad is clearly visible. “What in the hell are you thinking?”

My brows draw together. “What are you talking about?”

“I heard about the offer you’re going to refuse. What in the hell are you thinking?”

I let out a long breath and push my hair away from my eyes. “How’d you hear about that?”

He moves around his desk and falls into his chair. “Doug, overheard the whole conversation. I asked Alissa this morning, and she said you refuse to go.”

“I can’t,” I say falling into the chair across from him.

“And why not? This is your chance to make it big — to do everything you’ve ever wanted to do.”

“I can’t go because I promised to take care of Alissa. She can’t go on the tour with me.”

“Ahh, I see,” he says, rubbing his clean-shaven jaw. “You don’t think she’ll wait for you?”

“I don’t want her to have to wait for me.” I stand and start pacing. “I promised I’d be here for her, that I’d take care of her. How can I do that if I’m not here?”

“She’s making money. You’ll be making money. I don’t see the problem here.”

“Sean is the fucking problem. Every time I turn around, he’s trying to steal her right out from under my nose.”

“Your best friend? Why would he do that to you?”

I stop pacing and give him a pointed look, hoping he remembers the story of Dan, him, and my mom.

He must understand because he nods and says, “That was different. They’d been on one date, not living together and about to get married.”

I fall back into my chair. “I haven’t even bought her a ring yet.”

“Does Alissa know the real reason you’re not going? I don’t think she’d be happy holding you back.”

“No, she doesn’t know. And she’s not going to.” I stand. “I should get back to work.” I leave my dad staring after me.

A part of me wants to take this chance. I want to see how far I could go, if the years of hard work would pay off, but I can’t leave Alissa. And she can’t know. I know how she’ll react if she finds out she’s the reason I’m not going. She already feels like she owes me something. She’s never told me that, but I can tell every time I say I love her. I can see it written on her face when I do something for her or give her something. She’s so used to being taken advantage of. She doesn’t know how to just accept something without being expected to give back. But the thing is, she does give back. She chooses to give me her love every day, to give me herself. That’s all I’ll ever ask of her. I can’t ask her to wait while I run off and try something that could be a total waste of time.

* * *

The day drags by so slowly, by the time we make it home, I’m too tired to even practice with the band. However, I forgot to call and cancel. At seven on the dot, they’re banging on the door.

Alissa answers and lets them in. I walk into the living room to them setting up. “I’m sorry I forgot to call you guys, but I’m just not feeling up to practice today.” I throw myself onto the couch.

“You better practice up if you’re going on tour!” Zach says excitedly.

I roll my eyes, tired of hearing about this tour that I’m not going on. “God, does anyone in this town mind their own business?”

Mark laughs. “Yeah right. Do you remember where we live? But seriously, when do you leave?”

I sit up. “Won’t you guys be mad if I quit the band and leave you behind to go on tour with them?”

They look at one another. “No way. I’d be pissed if you passed up on the opportunity,” Mark says.

“Well get ready to be pissed then, because I’m not going.”

Both of them stand and start yelling at me. I can’t even understand what they’re saying. Alissa just sits in the lounge chair in the corner of the room, watching me. I know this will just be another discussion for later since I told her I couldn’t leave the band, yet here they are giving me their blessing.

“Hey!” I yell to get them to shut up and calm down.

When they both go quiet and sit down, I say, “It’s too late now anyway. I’m sure they’ve already found someone.”

Zach grabs his bass and amp. “You’re fucking stupid for passing this up,” he says as he walks out of the door.

I look at Mark, waiting for his final word. He shrugs. “I don’t understand your reasoning, but I’ll be happy to continue to rock on with you.” He smiles before leaving Alissa and I alone.

A long drawn out silence fills the air. Who knew silence could feel so heavy? I look over at her. She’s seething, but not saying anything. She’s letting it boil. I know it’s only a matter of minutes before her anger finally bubbles over.

I watch as she reaches all new shades of red, and I mentally begin to count down. Three…Two…One.

“What in the hell is wrong with you, huh? Do you even know what you’re giving up? This is what you’ve worked your whole life for. The band is fine with it. Why won’t you go? You deserve to go!”

I don’t flinch from her tone. I sit quietly and let her get it all out. It’s time we settle this once and for all.

After she yells at me for a good five minutes, she falls onto the couch by my side, exhausted from her rant.

I reach out and take her hand, pulling her onto my lap. Pushing her blonde hair behind her ear, I place my hand on her cheek, so she has to look at me. “I’m not going. I don’t want to leave my band. I don’t want to give up everything here for a chance at something I may never even get anyway. And I don’t want to leave you. I promised you I’d be here to take care of you. We’re getting married. That’s all I need.”

“This is your dream,” she whispers.

“No, not like this. My dream is to make it big with my own band, where I could bring you with me. Not leave my band and you behind to chase after some long shot.”

“You can’t give this up for me, Dane.”

“Yes, I can. I’d give up everything for you. Don’t you know that?”

She shakes her head. “No, not this. It’s too important. If you do this, and it works out, you could be getting paid to do what you love every day for the rest of your life. Not to mention going on tour, being famous.”

“I don’t care about fame. I don’t care about any of this! I care about you. I. Want. You. I don’t want anything else. You are more than enough for me, Alissa.”

She stands and starts pacing. “No! If you pass on this chance, you’ll resent me, maybe not today or tomorrow, but it will happen. I can’t let that happen, Dane. You have to go. I won’t hold you back.”

I stand and close the distance between us. “You can’t make me go. This is my life. It’s my decision, and I’m staying here. We’re getting married, and we’re spending the rest of our lives together.”

“There’s nothing I can do to change your mind, is there?”

I smile. “I’m afraid not.” I pull her against me, kissing the top of her head, but something feels off. “Plus, I wasn’t lying when I said they probably already found someone. A chance that good, not many people can pass on something like that.”

I take her hand and lead her toward the bedroom. I spin her around and pull her shirt over her head and litter her skin with kisses. I fall to my knees and remove her shoes. I look up at her, and a sad, glossy look is still evident on her face. I stand and tangle my fingers into her hair. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?” She finally meets my eyes.

“Stop thinking that you’re not enough. You’re all I want.” We fall onto the bed, tangled up in each other for the rest of the night.

* * *

I’m completely overwhelmed waiting on so many tables. There’s this big poker run that comes through town for some benefit. All the local motorcycles go from bar to bar to collect their cards to try winning a prize while raising money for their cause. I don’t pay much attention to what their cause is because I’m so swamped. The worst part is since I’m not twenty-one, I can’t handle alcohol. I have to take their order and pass it along to someone who’s old enough to handle booze. This wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to chase down someone who’s already busy to get the drinks for me.

I notice Sean is sitting at a table in the corner, eating lunch. When I clock out for my break, I grab a soda and head over to him just as he’s pushing his empty plate away.

“Hey, wanna go outside and talk?”

“Yeah, sure man. What’s up?” he asks standing and following me outside.

I lead him around the building and take a seat at the picnic table. I sit down, light a cigarette, and take a drink, hoping to cool off.

“Listen, I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now… I just don’t really know how to say what I need to say.”

He places his arms on the picnic table and leans in. “We’ve been best friends since grade school. Just tell me.”

I take a long drag from my cigarette. “I don’t want you around Alissa anymore.”

“What? Why?” he asks with his brows raised.

“I fucking see the way you look at her. Always laughing, flirting, and checking her out.”

He lets out a puff of air. “That’s crazy. I mean, yeah, I check her out because she’s hot. You check out girls all the time. Why’s it different when I check her out?”

“Because she’s mine,” slips out of my mouth. I take a deep breath, hoping to clear my thoughts. “Look, it just makes me uncomfortable when I’m up on stage, and I look over at her and she’s looking at you and laughing. I’m not saying you’re trying anything, but if you are, I suggest you back off now. We’re getting married. It’s serious. She’s not just some high school girlfriend for me to pass the time with.”

He leans back and shakes his head. “I’m not trying anything, Dane. And you know what?” He stands, towering over me since I’m still sitting. “It really pisses me off that you think I’d do that to you. We’ve been friends for years. You really think I’d go and steal your girl?”

I flick my cigarette into the gravel. “I’m not saying you’re trying something, I’m just letting you know that if you do, you’ll regret it.”

“Fuck you, Dane.” He turns and walks toward the parking lot.

I sit back and watch him go, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it. Am I overreacting about this? Probably. But my anger and jealously have always gotten the better of me. I try my best to control them, but I can only hold back so much before it breaks free.

Mason jogs up from the shop and sits across from me. “Hey, Dad said you had some good news. What is it?”

“Nothing. No good news. I have to get back to work.” I shove away from the picnic table and walk back around the building. Leaning by the door, I finish my second cigarette, hoping to God my mood levels out some before I go back in there. The last thing I need is to get my ass beat by a bunch of bikers.

Over the next week, Alissa seems to be growing more distant. She sits in the bedroom while we have band practice in the living room. She’s often asleep by the time that I make it to bed. And instead of waiting around in the morning so we can have breakfast together, she leaves early for work, claiming she wants extra hours.

At work, she’s too busy to talk to me, and our breaks are rarely at the same time. On the off chance we actually do get to talk, she blows off every question I ask her. She won’t admit to being mad at me, even though I have no idea what she could be mad about. I can’t get her to tell me what’s going on with her either. She’s always quiet and looks deep in thought. The spark in her usually brilliant blue eyes seems dulled and filled with sadness.

Her weird behavior has me on edge. I constantly worry she’s going to leave me. I haven’t gotten up the courage to ask though. I’m too afraid of her answer. So instead of asking, I just sit back and wait to see what happens.

It’s Saturday night again, and as we’re getting dressed to head to the bar, I can’t hold it in any longer. I sit on the edge of the bed, pulling on my shoes when I finally break the silence.

“Would you tell me what the fuck’s going on with you?”

She spins around after pulling her black tank top on. “What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been acting weird all week. Are you mad at me or something? What did I do?”

Her shoulders slump, and her eyes fall to the floor. “No, I’m not mad at you. You didn’t do anything.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s nothing.”

I stand and walk across the room, standing directly in front of her, but I don’t touch her. I’m almost afraid to. I feel like if I reach out and touch her, she’ll vanish, like she’s just a mirage that’s not really here at all.

“Tell me. I know when you’re not acting like yourself. This past week, you’ve been withdrawn, quiet. You leave for work before me. You refuse to take a break at the same time as me. And you’re asleep before band practice is even over. I know something’s going on with you.”

She closes the distance between us, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head against my chest. “I love you, Dane.”

I tangle my fingers in her hair and tilt her head back so she’s looking at me. “I love you too, and I want to know that you’re okay — that we’re okay.”

She smiles sadly at me. “I’m fine. Now let’s go before we’re late.” She gives me a quick kiss before pulling away and walking from the bedroom.

Instead of feeling reassured, I feel worse. My heart notices the lack of assurance that we’re okay. Like the end is drawing near, and that scares the shit out of me. I’ve given up everything for her. I work myself to death to pay for this house I got for her, so she wouldn’t have to live with constant abuse. I’m not expecting anything but love from her. Yet, it feels like she’s pulling away from me. What did I do wrong? Maybe I haven’t given her enough attention lately. With the band practicing every night and every Saturday night being occupied by gigs, we haven’t really had much time together.

Maybe that’s all she needs. Just a little alone time, so I can show her how much she means to me, how much I love her. She’s been pushed to the back burner unintentionally lately. I’ve been so busy trying to make money, that I didn’t even realize a space is growing between us.

I decide it’ll just be me and her tomorrow. Instead of lying around the house, I’m going to take her out. We can spend the day on the ocean where nobody can get to us. I’ll pack a lunch. We can eat on the boat, and cuddle, dance, fish, whatever she wants to do. Just something to show her I haven’t forgotten about her, that she’s still it for me.

I grab my keys and head toward the front door, so we can make it to the show on time.

When we arrive at the bar, the place is crowded. I have to squeeze through groups of people just to make it to the stage to set up.

After the stage is set, I go to the bar to grab a drink. Dad hands me a bottle of water and nods toward his office. “Come here. I have something for you.”

I take a long drink of my water, then walk around the bar and meet him in the office. He shuts the door, shutting out the loud crowd out on the floor.

He reaches into his pocket and holds out a little black box.

“What’s this?” I ask, taking the box and opening it to find a diamond ring.

“That was the ring I bought for your mother. I want you to have it — for Alissa.”

I look from him to the ring and back. “I don’t understand. I thought you didn’t approve of this.”

He shrugs. “I don’t, but then I got to thinking. My dad didn’t approve either, and I did it anyway. If I would’ve listened to him, I wouldn’t have you and Mason right now. Only you know what you want in life.”

The corners of my mouth draw up into a smile. “Thanks, Dad.” I reach out and give him a hug. “This…” I look down at the ring, before continuing, “it means a lot. I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything.” He smiles widely and pats me on the back before opening the door.

I slide the small box into my pocket as I make my way toward my girl. I can’t wait to show her the ring. I know I’ve already proposed, but I’m going to do it again — do it right this time.

Tomorrow I’m going to take her out on my dad’s boat and ask her to marry me, this time with a ring. I could do it on the stage tonight, but I think it would be better if it is just the two of us sharing the moment instead of a hundred strangers sharing it with us.

I give Alissa a kiss and leave her sitting at a small table by the door when Dad announces us.

“Everyone please welcome Empire of None!”

The place erupts in screams. I pass by a man dressed in a nice suit. He seems out of place. I look him up and down and wonder if he came out here to listen to the band. Could he work for a record label? Maybe opening for Busted Lip did some good after all.

“How is everyone tonight?” I ask when I get behind the mic.

They scream even louder. All the anger and fear I’ve been carrying around for the last week falls away. Being on stage again lets me relax and take out some aggression.

With a series of bangs on his drumsticks, Mark starts us up. Slinging my guitar over my neck, I strum and let the lyrics flow. The music fills the bar, and as everyone stands and rushes the stage, Sean walks in and heads to the bar. I shake away my thoughts and give the show my all, letting the music consume me.